a clensing charm -> cleansing it's bright white -> its of c ourse -> course olwry -> owlery
I don't know how much constructive criticism you want, but if you'll allow me: So far it's all been Draco's POV, so the use of "Malfoy", and even worse "the blond", was really jarring. I don't think he would think of himself as this.
If you die down there, you will undoubtedly become a ghost. And a school legend. But you'll still look like an idiot, and I will still resent packing out your dead body. *dies laughing*
The image of Snape followed by a long line of packages bobbing along was really funny, too.
And Ron and Draco together :) How delightful, and delightfully awkward for them.
What a tale about Ron's grandfather! I liked that Draco kept thinking about the color of his fur, and weasel-Ron's. And how he was ordering Ron to keep kissing him. Very engaging and entertaining!
Comments 2
it's bright white -> its
of c ourse -> course
olwry -> owlery
I don't know how much constructive criticism you want, but if you'll allow me: So far it's all been Draco's POV, so the use of "Malfoy", and even worse "the blond", was really jarring. I don't think he would think of himself as this.
If you die down there, you will undoubtedly become a ghost. And a school legend. But you'll still look like an idiot, and I will still resent packing out your dead body.
*dies laughing*
The image of Snape followed by a long line of packages bobbing along was really funny, too.
And Ron and Draco together :) How delightful, and delightfully awkward for them.
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