0430 ; 15/100
title: 0430 - Silence: Cool Off
pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
genre: au!psychiatrist, angst, romance
rating: PG-13
length: 15/100
summary: Lee Hyukjae is a psychiatrist who gets too attached to his druggie patient, Lee Donghae. He soon finds himself knowing more than what he needs to.
a/n: hola! well i'm really trying to get this updated while doing my thesis and being a lazyass. so yes, i tried to make this as long as possible. it's almost 2013 holy sheeet and this fic is still 2011 ;A; tell me if i'm dragging this too much, thank you. and and btw, my thoughts are all jumbled up so if something in here doesn't make sense, please tell me. again, thank you
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December 15, 2011 | Tuesday | 1:45PM
Today is Junsu's birthday. And the last time we talked was when I apologized and tried to make it up to him. He did forgive me but I feel like there's this invisible wall between us and I didn't like it at all. I wanted to talk to him about it so I called him but he wasn't picking up my calls. Somehow, I suppose it was a good thing because if he did, he'll ask about my plans for his birthday and I bet he wouldn't be amused knowing that I haven't planned anything...yet. You see, these past few days, I've been busy with my patients and I figured he's just as busy with school. Okay, who am I kidding. It's more like I was just trying to convince myself that he's just as busy so I won't feel guilty for not trying harder. Lately, I haven't been the best boyfriend. I'm getting worse each day. Ever since our 'undeclared fight', I could feel him getting cold towards me and that's supposed to make me worry. It does. I am worried but not as worried as I should be.
Would he like this? I mumbled to myself, frowning a bit. "Excuse me miss, do you have another color?" I asked, showing her the charcoal cashmere scarf I picked. I don't know if Junsu would like it. I've given him every single thing I could possibly give him and I'm running out of choices. It's getting colder lately so I figured this would be useful. "Or other designs, perhaps?"
"I'm sorry sir but those are the only ones we have left." she smiled apologetically. I nodded and ended up buying my first choice, not that I actually have choices. I chucked the gift in the passenger seat and headed to the grocery. I need to make it up to him so I forced myself to think of a mini surprise in a span of ten minutes. I took the day off. Not because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can cook. I'm a decent cook, thank you very much. Quite frankly, I don't know how he'd react to this. He'll completely be unaware that I'd be waiting for him at school. And since we haven't completely made up yet, I could only hope for the best.
"Shit." I stared at my bleeding finger for a while, cleaned it and wrapped a bandaid around it. Kim Junsu, you better like this. The cut on my finger is a sign of my love.
Dinner. Check. Gift. Check. Gorgeous self. Double check. I gave my reflection in the mirror a wink before heading to Junsu's university. It was a half and hour drive from my house and luckily, there wasn't any traffic. It must be my lucky day. Humming a tune, I parked my car then jogged to the entrance, sliding both hands in my pockets as I scanned the place for my boyfriend.
"Juns--what?" I found myself confusedly marching towards Junsu and was that Yoochun? What. How. Just...since when? Why? "I hope I'm not interrupting something." I spat almost bitterly Almost.
"What are you doing here?"
The frown on my face deepened. "Way to greet your boyfriend, Junsu."
"Well if you have nothing else to say, we're going now." Yoochun looked like he was on the verge of running away from fear. Well at least that's what I think he looked like when I glanced at him. I didn't pay any more attention to him. "Come on Yoochun, we're going to be late for the movie."
Just what on earth is happening? "Movie? What movie? Kim Junsu, you are coming with me."
"Says who?" he challenged, crossing his arms.
"I...I'm going to wait in my car." Yoochun spoke nervously, running away in the direction of his car before Junsu could even stop him. Good job, Yoochun.
When Yoochun was out of sight, I reached out to grab Junsu's hand but he took a step back. I sighed. "Junsu, please."
"I love you, hyung. But I really don't like you right now. And if it isn't clear enough, I'd like it if we have some time apart." he stepped closer and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, Oh god I didn't realize how much I missed those lips on mine and how much I actually missed Junsu. How can I be so stupid. "I have to go now."
I could only watch his retreating back. "Happy birthday." I mumbled, smiling sadly.
"So you're saying he ditched you for that other guy?"
"H didn't ditch me, Sungmin. He just has other plans and I'm not included in it."
"Apparently so." he plopped down beside me and poked my arm. I called him as soon as I got home, telling him to come over because I didn't want to be alone tonight. "What are you going to do now?"
"Me? Nothing. I'll sit on my couch. Here. With you." I chuckled. "Of all people, it just has to be you. Hey!" he grinned when he successfully punched me on the arm. "Don't you have work to do?"
"Nope. Anyway, how's your patient?"
"Which one? I have tons."
"You know who I'm talking about." I glanced at him and kept silent. I really didn't want to talk about it. At least not right now. This is Junsu's day. Even if he isn't with me, I don't want to get distracted with someone else and I told Sungmin just that. He nodded and didn't ask further. I was grateful for that.
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December 16, 2011 | Wednesday | 7:15PM
I am standing in front of Junsu's doorstep pondering whether or not to knock. I know he told me to give him time, but I just need to see him right now. A part of me is telling me to just go on and talk to him but a bigger part is telling me to stop, go back home and respect his decision. I messed up and I want to fix this but fixing this might make this an even larger mess. I don't really know what to do. Weighing the pros and cons aren't helping me either. Frozen on my spot, I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, hoping that it'd help. It did, a bit. But it didn't help me decide.
Ah Hyukjae, think quick. Junsu can't see me here standing like a fool. I was in the middle of making a decision when I heard voices from inside his house getting louder by each second. I panicked and hid in the bushes on his garden. This is me being a stalker for the second time. The door opened for me to see my boyfriend and Yoochun, again.
To be completely honest, I was starting to get really jealous. He temporarily kicks me out of his life then he gets a replacement? I scoffed. I don't care if I'm overreacting right now, I bet everyone else would feel the same way like I do. If not everyone, quite a number of people.
"Oh shit." I cursed inwardly upon realizing that I had left the paper bag containing Junsu's gift at his doorstep. Yes, on the ground. My heart raced when he picked it up and examined the thing, I could hear Yoochun urging him to open it. He was pretty much convinced as he ripped the paper bag in half, much to my surprise. I heaved a sigh of relief as I saw my gift safe and sound in his hands. He looked happy about it. Too happy that he wrapped it around Yoochun's neck. "Oh yeah? Wrap it around tighter babe. Real tight that he wouldn't be able to breathe." I heard myself say, mentally slapping myself for being such a jerk.
Clenching my fists tight, I just let it go. Fine, he didn't know it was from me anyway. And technically, it's his so he can do anything he wants with it, even if it hurts for me to see him give it to someone else. My rival.
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