i am heaven sent. don't you dare forget.
i am violence. wrapped up in my summer, this heartache is embracing my body. to squeeze a love so tightly is to squish the want right out of them. where are you when i need you? unfortunate turns of events meet frail stares in the rooms of our childhood. i remember it like it was yesterday, or a year ago. my recent outcry for companionship has left me here, cold on this floor. upon returning from trips i saw haste and great caution, greeted by warmth and adoration. if only for a moment, i was queen of the world, and you - my sceptre you owned. my crown has been tossed aside, to the shores of the beach where i fell in love with you again. i, i palindrome, i. who am i, who are you? where is this place we are going and why is there no us to speak of? this prom - a veritable symphony of crepe paper and baloons. your caustic smile leaves me begging for seconds. too bad adonis left me in sparta too early. i am no aphrodite. look away at that bench and tell me what we saw there? why did it take so long to let go? and have we really, or will we ever, storm, get your ass out of my room. farewell, loki. to be a dream is a thousand wishes made by lovers. never knowing when the wind will stop blowing us apart. do you understand my need for that hand? the freckles on that arm. i miss everything we had. my curse words will echo in your eardrums and you will understand the power of these vowels and why perfection is so had to come by. if wasn't afraid of my cowering glances, i'd show you the hatred in me. this girl would blow up and prove you ALL wrong. i would show you my beauty in ev-er-y scream. AND YOU'D KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. so i'm caught up in this rainstorm, and i'm fighting for umbrellas. not burberry, but your shirt. a jacket thrown into the backseat. and all the songs that remind me of the faces of these months, will haunt me just as ones before them always will.
and every time i hear the phone ring, i wonder if you're calling me, to say you're coming back again, but i'm still waiting. --circa, unknown.
i am stronger than all of this. i will overcome this lonliness, this heartache, all the deception and regret. i will work past awkward glances and fight my way through meaningless hellos and goodbyes. i shall prove to you all that i am not the faint of heart. believe in this, and goddamn you, believe in me.
<3's, stars, and battle scars.
jay renee.