Day 134: I need to get stuff off my chest
I just can't help but feel a bit bummed about this month. More than bummed, honestly. CRUSHED is the word I would've used. So
much crap has happened that I just can't believe it. I've never broken a bone in my life and then this month grants me two broken ribs,
a bruised rib and this twisted knee. I'm in searing pain right now and I've been in pain throughout the whole month. The fear of
puncturing a lung with a decent blow to the chest isn't fun. My uncle died this month and I'll be attending his funeral Thursday. I can't
believe it. The last uncle on my Father's side is dead (7 uncles...DEAD)...most of them were robbed of their lives. This one, was hit by
a car and died instantly. What the hell is up with males in my family and moving vehicles. I got hit by a damn minivan on Saturday. This
just gets to me. I can't seem to get a break. People around me are starting to slowly break down. My family is doing horribly. I want
this madness to end. I hate the fact that I have to choose between a clear mind or a painless body. I hate the fact that so much shit has
gone wrong this past month. I hate going to so many funerals. Everyone from my past is dead. EVERYONE. As far as people are
concerned, my existence began on Freshman year of high school. Probably better that way. I wasn't a good person then. I hated
myself. I still try to be a good person, but I can't help feeling I'm just a wolf in sheep's clothing. I can't help feeling that I'll revert back
to the life I'm trying to run away from. It's a bit easier when the people of your past are dead anyway. At least I have Amy. She's been
the only good thing to have come about this month. She's always been helpful to me and now her being there means very much to me.
Thank you Amy. Thank you guys too. I've always had you guys. You guys were there for some of my darker moments and I always
pulled through. Thank you all. I do love you all and I hope you guys spared yourselves this pitiful rant. Good night for I know I won't
be sleeping