this should be anything but love {woohyun/sungyeol} ; je
this should be anything but love
infinite | woohyun/sungyeol | pg | self-abuse | 5/20 & 1/100| au!romance
sungyeol doesn't learn of the abuse woohyun gives himself, the hatred he gives himself. why to stop him? for the excuse of love
Woohyun runs the knife across his flesh just underneath the wrist. His eyes flutter close and a sigh leaves his lips. He breathes a shaky breath, before opening his eyes and looking at the damage. A steady stream of blood leaks from the vein, running down his forearm in a slow, teasing pace. He bites down on his lip, watching the red trail go down.
He leans in and presses his lips against the stain, licking up the crimson liquid and gagging at the awful taste in his mouth. He sucks the blood up, and takes a sponge bob bandage and covers the gash. He lies down on his bed, still living in the moment. His mind is reeling. With pleasure? He's not entirely sure what feeling it is. It's a feeling that runs through his body and comes out of the cut, but never comes out, and Woohyun keeps it for hours.
He swallows and opens his mouth to breathe, looking up at the ceiling. He lifts his arm up, smirking at the sponge bob band-aid, wanting to rip it open again and watch the cooling red substance again. He looks up at the light, blinding himself, before closing his eyes and trying to sleep again.
Who said that you had to be depressed to cut yourself? It always brought Woohyun to a new high, one that drugs or love would never give him. Sleep comes quickly, his fingers resting on the new Patrick smiley face.
**
Sungyeol finds a bloody knife. At first, he thinks that it is some other substance, maybe it's some dye or maybe a drink that spilled onto the knife. But when he puts some on his finger, curious, the tall male figures out quickly that it's blood. His gag reflex goes on high and he rapidly cleans the knife and his hands. He doesn't want to know why there is a bloody knife on the bathtub, so he ignores it. 'Maybe it was an accident,' he thinks, and that's all he does over the matter.
Two weeks later, he finds a wrapper to a band-aid. Spongebob ones, no less. He swallows but throws it away, thinking that his roommate must be really clumsy or something and must need to buy them a lot, because whenever he sneaks into the room, just to be safe he isn't sharing his apartment with a killer, finds empty box to empty box of the yellow and pink bandages. He tells himself that it's just his clumsiness and he gets cut easily, maybe his skin isn't strong as his. But the knife comes into his mind and he has to watch three sweet k-dramas to get the idea out of his mind.
**
One day, after rolling around with Howon, he comes home to his apartment. He's muddy from walking home and wet, so he strips himself and grabs a towel, ready to use the shower and clean up. He opens the door, thinking that it would be free, but sees Woohyun in the bathtub. He breathes a shaky breath. "I can leave-" he begins, but Woohyun shakes his head and interrupts him.
"You can take your shower if you like. I'll be out soon enough." Sungyeol licks his lips and nods, rushing to the shower and turning it on, ignoring the cold water that hit his back for two minutes. He takes a quick shower, hoping to be welcomed by an empty bathroom, but when he opens the door, he sees Woohyun, holding a knife. It drips red from the tip and every drop falls to the white tiled floor. Sungyeol gasps.
He tries moving away to call the cops, but Woohyun's hand grabs his towel and keeps him in the bathroom. "Counter, sit on the counter." Sungyeol, filled with fear, nods and sits down, watching as the knife gets lifted and it cuts the skin, and a small sliver of blood runs down from the gap. He watches as Woohyun gasps, closing his eyes and breathing out pleasantries. His eyes are clouded and misty and he shakes underneath the water.
"Get me two band-aids," he orders, and Sungyeol rushes out of the bathroom, running into his roommate's room and finding two wrappers from the piles of them round his bed. He sees red stains in the carpet, and the knife hilt sticking out from underneath the pillow. He exhales to try to control his breathing. He runs a hand through his black hair and runs back, giving the band-aids to him. Woohyun gives him a creepy smile and mouths, 'thank you', before putting the bandages on his arm. He rips two off; the scars left behind.
Woohyun's lips are oddly red, but Sungyeol pretends that it's lipstick. Sungyeol is dismissed, like a scared student, and runs back to his room, where he hides himself for the rest of the week, Woohyun's crazed smile pressed into his mind.
**
Sungyeol steals Woohyun's knife. It has dried blood on it and he wants to clean the sheets and pillowcase, but that would be over the top. He throws away the knife into the Han River, and doesn't go back to the apartment until the day after, staying over at Howon's place for safety. When he arrives, he sees Woohyun in the kitchen, his face on the table. His shirt is off, and all the scars and bruises are evident, including a long one that runs down his spine. It cannot be self-inflicted, Sungyeol tells himself.
"You okay?" Sungyeol asks, and Woohyun finally figures out that he's here. He shakes his head, his palms laid out so that he can see the marks along the creases of his hands. Sungyeol gasps when he sees him. He looks like he hasn't slept all night, with circles under his eyes and chapped lips. If anything, just looking at him tells him his answer: no. Woohyun sighs, shaking his head and running his fingers over his face, bringing out the creases on his face.
In sum, he looked like hell.
"I, I haven't been good lately. It isn't your fault. I just misplaced something," Woohyun said with a bittersweet smile. Had he been looking for the knife that he had thrown away? Sungyeol swallows hard, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets so that he doesn't play with them as he does when he's nervous. He looks over at him, his deep eyes digging into his soul. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Sungyeol-yah?"
Sungyeol shrugged. "I-I don't know, you didn't say what you misplaced. So I can't really say," he says, trying to act cool when he knows that his palms are sweating. Woohyun smiles and turns away, and waves him off like he isn't important, and that's that - because Sungyeol runs to his room and locks it, not wanting to be pinned by Woohyun. He can't find away to settle his fast-paced heart rate.
Not like he tries. This is oddly satisfying his love for life.
**
"I know that you cut yourself. Stop," he says one day, pressing his glasses up further on the bridge of his nose. Woohyun raises an eyebrow, standing up frm his bed and walking over, so that there faces are inches apart. It's scary, smelling the body wash that clings to Woohyun's skin, and Sungyeol tries to step away, but Woohyun grabs his elbows.
"How are you gonna make me stop?" he asks, acid lacing his voice. Sungyeol swallows, "This."
He leans over and kisses him, slipping his tongue between Woohyun's lips. The grip on his arms loosen, so he has to grab Woohyun's arms to keep him standing there. Slowly, he kisses back. Sungyeol screams inside but pretends to be cool, pressing Woohyun against the wall.
The marionette's strings are cut.
--
a/n: don't get the random marionette reference? the cutting himself is Woohyun's want to cut the ties. it sends him to a high, but he's always tied back to the ground. sungyeol obviously can just kiss him and he's got no more strings, a new found high.
a/n1: anyways, if you guys have been wondering about fivie, she's supposedly writing something right now. I will be continuing this challenge, and a list of OUR shinee challenge will be posted.
infinite | woohyun/sungyeol | pg | self-abuse | 5/20 & 1/100| au!romance
sungyeol doesn't learn of the abuse woohyun gives himself, the hatred he gives himself. why to stop him? for the excuse of love
Woohyun runs the knife across his flesh just underneath the wrist. His eyes flutter close and a sigh leaves his lips. He breathes a shaky breath, before opening his eyes and looking at the damage. A steady stream of blood leaks from the vein, running down his forearm in a slow, teasing pace. He bites down on his lip, watching the red trail go down.
He leans in and presses his lips against the stain, licking up the crimson liquid and gagging at the awful taste in his mouth. He sucks the blood up, and takes a sponge bob bandage and covers the gash. He lies down on his bed, still living in the moment. His mind is reeling. With pleasure? He's not entirely sure what feeling it is. It's a feeling that runs through his body and comes out of the cut, but never comes out, and Woohyun keeps it for hours.
He swallows and opens his mouth to breathe, looking up at the ceiling. He lifts his arm up, smirking at the sponge bob band-aid, wanting to rip it open again and watch the cooling red substance again. He looks up at the light, blinding himself, before closing his eyes and trying to sleep again.
Who said that you had to be depressed to cut yourself? It always brought Woohyun to a new high, one that drugs or love would never give him. Sleep comes quickly, his fingers resting on the new Patrick smiley face.
**
Sungyeol finds a bloody knife. At first, he thinks that it is some other substance, maybe it's some dye or maybe a drink that spilled onto the knife. But when he puts some on his finger, curious, the tall male figures out quickly that it's blood. His gag reflex goes on high and he rapidly cleans the knife and his hands. He doesn't want to know why there is a bloody knife on the bathtub, so he ignores it. 'Maybe it was an accident,' he thinks, and that's all he does over the matter.
Two weeks later, he finds a wrapper to a band-aid. Spongebob ones, no less. He swallows but throws it away, thinking that his roommate must be really clumsy or something and must need to buy them a lot, because whenever he sneaks into the room, just to be safe he isn't sharing his apartment with a killer, finds empty box to empty box of the yellow and pink bandages. He tells himself that it's just his clumsiness and he gets cut easily, maybe his skin isn't strong as his. But the knife comes into his mind and he has to watch three sweet k-dramas to get the idea out of his mind.
**
One day, after rolling around with Howon, he comes home to his apartment. He's muddy from walking home and wet, so he strips himself and grabs a towel, ready to use the shower and clean up. He opens the door, thinking that it would be free, but sees Woohyun in the bathtub. He breathes a shaky breath. "I can leave-" he begins, but Woohyun shakes his head and interrupts him.
"You can take your shower if you like. I'll be out soon enough." Sungyeol licks his lips and nods, rushing to the shower and turning it on, ignoring the cold water that hit his back for two minutes. He takes a quick shower, hoping to be welcomed by an empty bathroom, but when he opens the door, he sees Woohyun, holding a knife. It drips red from the tip and every drop falls to the white tiled floor. Sungyeol gasps.
He tries moving away to call the cops, but Woohyun's hand grabs his towel and keeps him in the bathroom. "Counter, sit on the counter." Sungyeol, filled with fear, nods and sits down, watching as the knife gets lifted and it cuts the skin, and a small sliver of blood runs down from the gap. He watches as Woohyun gasps, closing his eyes and breathing out pleasantries. His eyes are clouded and misty and he shakes underneath the water.
"Get me two band-aids," he orders, and Sungyeol rushes out of the bathroom, running into his roommate's room and finding two wrappers from the piles of them round his bed. He sees red stains in the carpet, and the knife hilt sticking out from underneath the pillow. He exhales to try to control his breathing. He runs a hand through his black hair and runs back, giving the band-aids to him. Woohyun gives him a creepy smile and mouths, 'thank you', before putting the bandages on his arm. He rips two off; the scars left behind.
Woohyun's lips are oddly red, but Sungyeol pretends that it's lipstick. Sungyeol is dismissed, like a scared student, and runs back to his room, where he hides himself for the rest of the week, Woohyun's crazed smile pressed into his mind.
**
Sungyeol steals Woohyun's knife. It has dried blood on it and he wants to clean the sheets and pillowcase, but that would be over the top. He throws away the knife into the Han River, and doesn't go back to the apartment until the day after, staying over at Howon's place for safety. When he arrives, he sees Woohyun in the kitchen, his face on the table. His shirt is off, and all the scars and bruises are evident, including a long one that runs down his spine. It cannot be self-inflicted, Sungyeol tells himself.
"You okay?" Sungyeol asks, and Woohyun finally figures out that he's here. He shakes his head, his palms laid out so that he can see the marks along the creases of his hands. Sungyeol gasps when he sees him. He looks like he hasn't slept all night, with circles under his eyes and chapped lips. If anything, just looking at him tells him his answer: no. Woohyun sighs, shaking his head and running his fingers over his face, bringing out the creases on his face.
In sum, he looked like hell.
"I, I haven't been good lately. It isn't your fault. I just misplaced something," Woohyun said with a bittersweet smile. Had he been looking for the knife that he had thrown away? Sungyeol swallows hard, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets so that he doesn't play with them as he does when he's nervous. He looks over at him, his deep eyes digging into his soul. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Sungyeol-yah?"
Sungyeol shrugged. "I-I don't know, you didn't say what you misplaced. So I can't really say," he says, trying to act cool when he knows that his palms are sweating. Woohyun smiles and turns away, and waves him off like he isn't important, and that's that - because Sungyeol runs to his room and locks it, not wanting to be pinned by Woohyun. He can't find away to settle his fast-paced heart rate.
Not like he tries. This is oddly satisfying his love for life.
**
"I know that you cut yourself. Stop," he says one day, pressing his glasses up further on the bridge of his nose. Woohyun raises an eyebrow, standing up frm his bed and walking over, so that there faces are inches apart. It's scary, smelling the body wash that clings to Woohyun's skin, and Sungyeol tries to step away, but Woohyun grabs his elbows.
"How are you gonna make me stop?" he asks, acid lacing his voice. Sungyeol swallows, "This."
He leans over and kisses him, slipping his tongue between Woohyun's lips. The grip on his arms loosen, so he has to grab Woohyun's arms to keep him standing there. Slowly, he kisses back. Sungyeol screams inside but pretends to be cool, pressing Woohyun against the wall.
The marionette's strings are cut.
--
a/n: don't get the random marionette reference? the cutting himself is Woohyun's want to cut the ties. it sends him to a high, but he's always tied back to the ground. sungyeol obviously can just kiss him and he's got no more strings, a new found high.
a/n1: anyways, if you guys have been wondering about fivie, she's supposedly writing something right now. I will be continuing this challenge, and a list of OUR shinee challenge will be posted.