Here I come, crawling out of my cave.
Smile, Smile.

So the insurance rate has gone up.
The Duke's in poor shape.
I got a new axe.
Two, actually.
I'm off to school next month.
I'm officially a Park Ranger on Saturday.
10:30 am, till 9 pm. Long days.

Drug test yesterday.
I passed.
Free money today.

Smile, Smile.
Thank goodness for good buddies.

I think my tear ducts are disfunctional.
I just want to cry so bad.
What a horrible week this is turning out to be.

Beach sunsets rock my rocks!
And so do campfires.

Gee whiz, is my Journal depressing.

Sorry folks. I usually only come here to vent.

I promise I'm not this depressing all the time.

I'm really a happy girl who smiles often.

<3

All I do is contruct my mind with meanigless stories. And I suck down carcinogen and caffiene and poison. I'm a halfway fuckup having a lonely sober evening.
And I haven't got anyone to tell except a blank page that no one reads anyway. Dating and infatuation, and everything sucks.

Why do we ask ourselves the deep serious questions when something bad happens? And then later forget that we had any worries in the first place?

I remember when the alchohol evaporated through my skin that night. Instantaneous is not a sufficient way to describe how fast my head cleared ( Read more... )

There is death and confusion and terror and rage and negativity everywhere.

I wish I could find somewhere to go where bliss and content swirl together to create a place of abundant smiles.

They seem to be avoiding me lately.

Hahaaaa.

Me being sober is an aspersion.

Me being lonely and pathetically emo tonight isn't.

The line that separates our lives is invisible to the naked eye, but it will take me years to get around it. We are close enough to love, and yet too far away to believe it - or put up with it. I can only wonder if you relive that night as much as I do (although now I don't so much). A direct inquiry is is the one thing that eludes me. My ( Read more... )