Sometimes when I feel like I’m in control of my life, when I am taking bounds towards obtaining my goals, when I feel confident and secure, I sit in the passenger seat of a car and let someone drive me around, either aimlessly or with their own (uncontested by me)agenda in mind, while listening to sad songs carefully selected for winter roads. It’ ( Read more... )

all of ugliest emotions have taken up residence in my chest and there are so many i feel like it might explode. i've spent the last day contradicting my philosophy of honesty and it hurts, but i guess it's for a greater good. sometimes people can't immediately help the way they feel, but they can make a concious decision to act in a manner that is ( Read more... )

the scariest thing i've ever done was singing with ryan and chris bathgate last night...sober. last night felt good, better than winter normally feels. it made me hopeful.

winter makes me cynical. winter makes me hate everything and everyone.

i want to go and hide somewhere warm.

i'm just going to forget today ever happened.

i am human. my problems are petty, my actions are sometimes contrived and sometimes only for aesthetic reasons or social gain. i am insecure, jealous and lack any ability to trust. i try to fix this stuff all of the time. i am ignorant. it takes personal loss for me to have any ability whatsoever to ONLY sympathize for those losing all of the time ( Read more... )

i sat down here with the intention of blogging a sincere, introspective post, then i stumbled upon steve's blog and am not sure if any of the things i have to say are really that important. hmmm...

Is the lack of faith in my life a lack of faith in myself or a lack of faith in the world, or are they the same thing? If man burns himself on fire, he quickly learns not to touch fire, and this concept, on a physical level, is widely accepted as standard practice of evolution and growth, then why is so much effort put into the reversal of the ( Read more... )

xmas whiskey = drunk as fuck, world spiinny and stuff and i want a lauren to cuddle with and rover shedded in my eyes and there has been so pmuch talk of philopsophy and such, and dreams (journals) amd this is sillogical.

dec. 23 fuck you. that is all.