Round 2015: Save me [2/2]
One year later...
“Luhan! Luhan! Luhaaaaaaan!” Junmyeon called out as he entered his boyfriend’s apartment. Junmyeon pouted slightly when he didn’t get a response, but just as he was about to open his mouth to call out for his soulmate, a slightly amused-looking man popped into the hallway.
“Luhan just went outside to pick up some snacks from the convenience store. He should be back in a minute.
Junmyeon blushed bright red. Luhan shared an apartment with Yifan and two other men living in the city, whom Junmyeon wasn’t very familiar with, and often embarrassed himself in front of them. “I’m sorry Changmin. I hope I didn’t disturb you.”
“No worries.” Changmin gave him a friendly smile and disappeared back into the hallway. Junmyeon opted to wait on the edge of the sofa as he waited for Luhan to return.
Just as Changmin promised, within a minute, the sound of the door open sounded through the apartment. Junmyeon got to his feet and gave Luhan his best smile when Luhan entered the common area.
“Junmyeon!” Luhan set down the plastic convenience store bags at his feet and opened his arms to pull Junmyeon into a hug. “I wasn’t expecting you so early.”
“I found a shorter way to get here,” Junmyeon said into Luhan’s shoulder. He drew back after a moment and looked at Luhan with a worried expression. “I hope I’m not imposing.”
“I only wish that I could’ve been here to greet you,” Luhan said with a warm smile, and reluctantly let go of Junmyeon’s slim shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, you’re not a bother.”
“Okay.” Junmyeon reached down and picked up one of Luhan’s plastic bags. “Let me help you put things away.”
“Alright.” Luhan picked up the other bags and ushered Junmyeon into the kitchen. “You just came back from therapy with Doctor Park, right? How was it?”
“It went well! Doctor Park said that I’ve been making a lot of improvement. The new drugs have also been helping me keep my head under control.” The couple began sorting through Luhan’s purchases to place them in different cupboards. Ever since they had both visited a psychiatrist a year ago, they had both been taking counseling and therapy sessions. They had both been improving, and Junmyeon was happy to say that he had been stable for nearly a month straight now. It had been rough, at first-it had been difficult to wrap his head around the idea that Luhan would still love him and that he wasn’t worth it. But once he had gotten over that hurdle, and had also started taking medications to keep his mental health under control, he had been getting better and better.
They sorted through the rest of the purchases, keeping up a light banter about how Junmyeon’s classes had gone, how Luhan’s job was going, about Luhan’s upcoming dance performance, and about how he wanted Junmyeon to sing for him sometime.
“Changmin says that you have a voice like an angel. It isn’t fair that I haven’t heard it yet,” Luhan whined to him. Junmyeon blushed at the memory from two months ago; he’d thought that everyone was out and had started singing quietly in the living room while he waited for Luhan to return. Unfortunately, Changmin had been home and had come out of his room to investigate the source of the noise.
“Maybe another time,” Junmyeon hedged, looking down shyly at the kitchen counter. Singing was still something he was nervous about; singing was very much a way of expressing himself, and even though he and Luhan were very open with each other, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to give away this last part of his thoughts
“Alright. No pressure though,” Luhan said, and gave him a light pat on the elbow. “Anyways, do you want to go out for dinner today? There’s a new Thai place that opened up down the street.”
“That sounds fun.” Junmyeon smiled up at Luhan and stood on his toes to kiss Luhan’s cheek. “You don’t need to rest or anything before we go?”
If Luhan noticed the pink tint on Junmyeon’s cheeks, he didn’t say anything. “I’m fine. Let’s just go now, I’m so hungry.” And with that, before Junmyeon quite realized what was happening, he was being dragged down the street for dinner.
Junmyeon and Luhan were moving pretty slowly. Even though they were eager to know each other, and to quench the drought of loneliness that had been afflicting their hearts, they both also knew that the other wasn’t necessarily whole, and they didn’t want to push any buttons or pull any cracks that might cause the other to fall apart. Luhan had always been kind and gentle to him, and the farthest they’d ever gone was some intense making out on the couch without taking their clothes off. Junmyeon really appreciated that he’d ended up with a guy like Luhan. Luhan was always attentive to his feelings, and always going out of his way to make Junmyeon comfortable.
They lived in the same city, but in different apartments. Their parents had seemed a little relieved at their choice to live separately (they’d giggled about the matching looks of relief on their parents’ faces when they’d announced their plans) and had been fully supportive of the match. Junmyeon was now enrolled in a university in the big city, and Luhan had been accepted into a small entertainment company where he was training to sing and dance, and to just become a better performer.
Junmyeon squeezed Luhan’s hand tightly as they threaded their way through the bustling sidewalks. He was so grateful for Luhan. He still felt guilty about the matching scars on their bodies, especially since now, if he had known that he would be this happy a year ago, he never would have tried cutting.
“Junmyeon?”
“Hm?” Junmyeon looked over at Luhan.
Luhan gave him a knowing look. “Feeling guilty again?”
Junmyeon blushed bright red. “You always know what I’m thinking.”
“It’s because your face is an open book,” Luhan chuckled softly. He squeezed Junmyeon’s hand gently, and then tucked their entwined fingers into his coat pocket. “Don’t feel guilty, Junmyeon. It’s in the past.”
“I’m trying,” Junmyeon said truthfully. “It’s just…” he trailed off into silence.
“I know.” Luhan gave him a reassuring look. “I know you’re trying.”
“Thanks,” Junmyeon said softly.
Without warning, Luhan suddenly stopped walking and leaned down to press a butterfly kiss to Junmyeon’s lips. Junmyeon jerked backwards and nearly tripped over the pavement in surprise; they usually never kissed in public. What was Luhan’s deal?
Luhan just smiled at him and tugged him closer before setting off again. Junmyeon nestled into his coat and tried to hide the heavy blush on his face. He loved Luhan, and he was so lucky that Luhan was his soulmate. He didn’t know how they’d missed the connection the first time they’d met. Perhaps they had just been too awkward to really have any conversation, and had missed the spark. But they were definitely soulmates, and Luhan was the kindest, most patient man that Junmyeon could ever ask for.
Luhan led him up the steps of a two-story building, and they quickly ducked out of the cold winter air and into the warm, oil-scented air of a small Thai restaurant. They waited for the waitress to seat them, and then they began to pick up their conversation from where it had left off at the apartment. Time flew by, and before they realized it, Junmyeon realized that he should head home soon before it became too dark. They parted ways with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to call the other once they were safely back. Junmyeon walked down the sidewalks of the city with a small smile playing at the corner of his lips, and a bounce springing in his step. It had taken a lot of pain, and many, many hardships to get to where he was now. He didn’t know if he would ever be fully healed, or if he would always be slightly cracked on the inside. But, in all honesty, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was, at the very least, he had his soulmate to spend his future with. And only happiness awaited him with Luhan.
Fin