I had a dream about wearing leather pants and making out with the hottest guy I'd ever met.

Oh wait. Not a dream.

Jackpot.

crazy anxiety and everyone's got to deal with their own shit.

from the universe: Perseids ( Read more... )

Sleep-deprived to the point of not tolerating assholes. Oh wait.

The free drinks just kept on pouring. Camped in a baseball diamond with Parker and hell of made out until 8, relocated to a private beach to watch the sun rise over the harbor, ate smoked gouda with triscuits, played another game of pool. Sorry, won another game of pool. Slept ( Read more... )

If I start, all this shit will come tumbling out, never stop, and you'll be sick of me before you get the chance to show me who you are.

I'm spinning out of control and need to take a fucking break.

Smarter than this. Better than this. Why did I think falling apart was the only thing that would give me any kind of relief? The only way I would become something new?

Starting over is an experience I have been ill-equipped to deal with. Words of wisdom are welcome. Hugs are

I was in the car for half an hour convincing myself that the next drink was unnecessary after having just woken up in a parking lot in Long Beach half-naked. Only remembering the first few tequila shots, the first three margaritas. Those men, their smiles.

Or maybe totally necessary, now. In retrospect.

I can't stop shaking. The stillness and ( Read more... )

"Holy shit girl you are shaped like a fucking superhero."

If "date" means having someone pick you up, buy you seared ahi, provide you with a nigh-boundless source of things that will fuck you up for 8 hours, drive you alllllll the way down PCH, bring you to a friends house 20 miles away who will feed you homemade Southern style mac and cheese, garlic bread, and croissants, then drive you back home ( Read more... )

Ohhhhhhh to have a conversation with an open-minded someone who hasn't heard it all before, whose ultimate goal isn't to get your pants off, who cares about what's happened/happening, who cares about you ( Read more... )