Gone
TITLE: Gone
SUMMARY: When the person assigned comes to tell you the news, he is so cold, so indifferent that you find yourself trying hard not to wince.
WARNING: Character-death.
When the person assigned comes to tell you the news, he is so cold, so indifferent that you find yourself trying hard not to wince.
"We are sorry to inform you that at around 3 o'clock this afternoon, your friend, Lee Hyukjae was involved in a roadside accident. Based on the police reports, a drunk driver swerved towards him on the highway and in an attempt to avoid a head-on collision, he re-maneuvered the car. Unfortunately, the car headed straight into the side of the mountain. He died upon impact."
You and the others spend the next few hours trying to digest the information but there is this something which makes you unable to believe that it is true. Then someone---Kangin---turns on the television and you see it yourself on the news. You know you are unable to deny it anymore.
You see his car, unrecognizable because of the damage and despite yourself, you thank your lucky stars that you don't actually see him there because you know that if you did, you would have probably lost your mind.
You don't really know what to do as you gaze at your members---your brothers---and see them crying their hearts out. You can feel your own tears flowing down your cheeks but still you refuse to think about what exactly are you crying for.
Someone grabs you from behind and and pushes you head between his head and shoulder. "It's okay to just cry, Donghae."
By his voice, you recognize the person as Heechul. Soon, you are sobbing in his arms and you hold him so tight you know it must have hurt, but you know that he doesn't really mind because he is holding you just as tight while murmuring reassurances you don't care to understand.
---
The next thing you remember is that you are lying on a wide, comfortable bed in a room you recognize as Heechul's . You stand slowly and conclude, after a few minutes of pondering, that you must fallen asleep sometime last night and that they, Hankyung and Heechul, must have brought you with them.
Quietly, you walk towards the kitchen where you can hear someone moving. The scene you arrive to stops you in your tracks.
Heechul is leaning into Hankyung, his arms around the younger man's waist while Hankyung has an arm looped around Heechul's neck. You move back into a corner where they can't see you but you can see and hear them clearly.
"It hurts so much, doesn't it, Hannie?" Heechul had obviously been crying.
"Yes." By the sound of his voice, you know that Hankyung had been crying too.
"If it hurts this much for us, I can't even begin to imagine how much it hurts for Donghae."
You feel your heart lurch at his statement and you clutch your chest and cover your mouth to keep from crying out.
"Please, Hankyung, please promise me that that won't happen to you. Please...I won't let you rest in peace if you do..." The rest of Heechul's words are buried in sobs.
And you know, without needing to see, that Heechul was now holding Hankyung in a death grip, and you also know, without needing to hear, that Hankyung has already made the promise.
Just as quietly as you first came, you head towards the door. You slip on your shoes and grab your coat. You open the door, thankful that it doesn't make a sound, and step out into the cold morning air.
---
When you put your hands into your coat's pockets, you unearth a air of dark sunglasses, your gloves, and his bonnet. Willing yourself to not remember, you put these on because the last thing you need is to be recognized today of all days.
You let your feet take you where they want and you walk and walk and walk some more. When you stop and take notice of your surroundings, you realize that you are in that place.
The place had changed drastically from its original appearance. In the middle of the space bounded by the yellow police line, there is a cross. There are numerous flowers and pictures of him littering the concrete making it look like a shrine.
But, you don't see any of these---you don't see that simple marker, you see neither the colorful flowers nor do you see the pictures---instead, you see the mangled wreck of a car: windshield shattered, body crumpled. You see broken glass and pieces of metal. You see blood on the pavement and for a brief, painful moment you actually see him there---wounded and unresponsive.
Then, you cry. You cry for a friend gone, a love lost too soon. No more gummy smiles, hugs in the morning or kisses at night. No more of the things you treasured and cherished. You fall on your knees, cursing the heavens and the culprit and anyone you could think of.
After a while, your sobs quiet down but you remain kneeling on the pavement. Your gaze falls to one of the photographs on the ground. The picture was taken during your earlier days, when life was much less complicated, when all of you smiled because you wanted to and not because you needed to.
The photo had managed to capture his trademark grin and you can't help but smile amidst the new torrent of tears because you have never really managed to resist that smile.
---
Someone clutches you by the armpits and raises you up. It doesn't take you long to know that it is Shindong.
"Come on, Hae, let's go home," he says, holding you against him. "Everyone's really worried."
You wipe your tears hastily and try to smile. "Thank you, hyung."
The larger man nods at you and you see him cast a once-over at the makeshift shrine. His eyes linger on certain pictures before he takes your hand and gently leads you away from that place.
You realize that for your sake, Shindong had abandoned his car in favor of walking and you feel grateful because you know that you aren't getting on a car, or a train, or anything else with wheels, for that matter, for a very, very long time.
You glance back one last time at the cross bearing his stage name.
EUNHYUK. It said in large, simple letters.
You smile as you say bid your last farewell.
"Saranghaeyo, Lee Hyukjae. Until we meet again."
---
A/N: Find it weird that my first fic for my OTP is sad and that I actually killed my bias? Yeah, I do too. But I was trying a different writing style and some depressing things have been happening while I was writing...so, I guess it resulted to this. Anyway, comments make me happy. Please tell me what you think.
SUMMARY: When the person assigned comes to tell you the news, he is so cold, so indifferent that you find yourself trying hard not to wince.
WARNING: Character-death.
When the person assigned comes to tell you the news, he is so cold, so indifferent that you find yourself trying hard not to wince.
"We are sorry to inform you that at around 3 o'clock this afternoon, your friend, Lee Hyukjae was involved in a roadside accident. Based on the police reports, a drunk driver swerved towards him on the highway and in an attempt to avoid a head-on collision, he re-maneuvered the car. Unfortunately, the car headed straight into the side of the mountain. He died upon impact."
You and the others spend the next few hours trying to digest the information but there is this something which makes you unable to believe that it is true. Then someone---Kangin---turns on the television and you see it yourself on the news. You know you are unable to deny it anymore.
You see his car, unrecognizable because of the damage and despite yourself, you thank your lucky stars that you don't actually see him there because you know that if you did, you would have probably lost your mind.
You don't really know what to do as you gaze at your members---your brothers---and see them crying their hearts out. You can feel your own tears flowing down your cheeks but still you refuse to think about what exactly are you crying for.
Someone grabs you from behind and and pushes you head between his head and shoulder. "It's okay to just cry, Donghae."
By his voice, you recognize the person as Heechul. Soon, you are sobbing in his arms and you hold him so tight you know it must have hurt, but you know that he doesn't really mind because he is holding you just as tight while murmuring reassurances you don't care to understand.
---
The next thing you remember is that you are lying on a wide, comfortable bed in a room you recognize as Heechul's . You stand slowly and conclude, after a few minutes of pondering, that you must fallen asleep sometime last night and that they, Hankyung and Heechul, must have brought you with them.
Quietly, you walk towards the kitchen where you can hear someone moving. The scene you arrive to stops you in your tracks.
Heechul is leaning into Hankyung, his arms around the younger man's waist while Hankyung has an arm looped around Heechul's neck. You move back into a corner where they can't see you but you can see and hear them clearly.
"It hurts so much, doesn't it, Hannie?" Heechul had obviously been crying.
"Yes." By the sound of his voice, you know that Hankyung had been crying too.
"If it hurts this much for us, I can't even begin to imagine how much it hurts for Donghae."
You feel your heart lurch at his statement and you clutch your chest and cover your mouth to keep from crying out.
"Please, Hankyung, please promise me that that won't happen to you. Please...I won't let you rest in peace if you do..." The rest of Heechul's words are buried in sobs.
And you know, without needing to see, that Heechul was now holding Hankyung in a death grip, and you also know, without needing to hear, that Hankyung has already made the promise.
Just as quietly as you first came, you head towards the door. You slip on your shoes and grab your coat. You open the door, thankful that it doesn't make a sound, and step out into the cold morning air.
---
When you put your hands into your coat's pockets, you unearth a air of dark sunglasses, your gloves, and his bonnet. Willing yourself to not remember, you put these on because the last thing you need is to be recognized today of all days.
You let your feet take you where they want and you walk and walk and walk some more. When you stop and take notice of your surroundings, you realize that you are in that place.
The place had changed drastically from its original appearance. In the middle of the space bounded by the yellow police line, there is a cross. There are numerous flowers and pictures of him littering the concrete making it look like a shrine.
But, you don't see any of these---you don't see that simple marker, you see neither the colorful flowers nor do you see the pictures---instead, you see the mangled wreck of a car: windshield shattered, body crumpled. You see broken glass and pieces of metal. You see blood on the pavement and for a brief, painful moment you actually see him there---wounded and unresponsive.
Then, you cry. You cry for a friend gone, a love lost too soon. No more gummy smiles, hugs in the morning or kisses at night. No more of the things you treasured and cherished. You fall on your knees, cursing the heavens and the culprit and anyone you could think of.
After a while, your sobs quiet down but you remain kneeling on the pavement. Your gaze falls to one of the photographs on the ground. The picture was taken during your earlier days, when life was much less complicated, when all of you smiled because you wanted to and not because you needed to.
The photo had managed to capture his trademark grin and you can't help but smile amidst the new torrent of tears because you have never really managed to resist that smile.
---
Someone clutches you by the armpits and raises you up. It doesn't take you long to know that it is Shindong.
"Come on, Hae, let's go home," he says, holding you against him. "Everyone's really worried."
You wipe your tears hastily and try to smile. "Thank you, hyung."
The larger man nods at you and you see him cast a once-over at the makeshift shrine. His eyes linger on certain pictures before he takes your hand and gently leads you away from that place.
You realize that for your sake, Shindong had abandoned his car in favor of walking and you feel grateful because you know that you aren't getting on a car, or a train, or anything else with wheels, for that matter, for a very, very long time.
You glance back one last time at the cross bearing his stage name.
EUNHYUK. It said in large, simple letters.
You smile as you say bid your last farewell.
"Saranghaeyo, Lee Hyukjae. Until we meet again."
---
A/N: Find it weird that my first fic for my OTP is sad and that I actually killed my bias? Yeah, I do too. But I was trying a different writing style and some depressing things have been happening while I was writing...so, I guess it resulted to this. Anyway, comments make me happy. Please tell me what you think.