the world is beating you down
the world is beating you down
fandom: winner
pairings/characters: implied!seungyoon/jinwoo, ot5
rating: g
summary: Seungyoon wonders why the only thing he can do is watch as the world steals away Jinwoo’s smile.
disclaimer: THIS IS FANFICTION. Also, the title and the song that Seungyoon 'sings' is from this lovely song.
It was an observation that Seungyoon was confident the other members would agree to: everyone seemed to be happy when Jinwoo-hyung was; it was just the way things worked.
Among the five of them, Jinwoo is the one who laughs the easiest, the one who finds happiness in the littlest things. It doesn't take much to make their mathyung happy and for that, Seungyoon is thankful and relieved because this is one of the reasons that despite the unending practices and evaluations, despite cruel remarks and fears of being dropped from the trainee line up, their group's mood remain as good as it could get.
Perhaps as a consequence, it unfortunately doesn't take much for Jinwoo to be hurt as well.
When sajangnim announces the battle, Seungyoon isn’t too overwhelmed not to notice Jinwoo’s smile turn brittle.
Seungyoon continues to watch him every day, watches as Jinwoo’s eyes lose their brightness, watches as the confidence Jinwoo has starts being chipped off until almost nothing is left but a shell of the person Seungyoon liked to think he knows like the back of his hand.
He watches as Jinwoo pushes himself to dance and sing better, watches as Jinwoo wears himself thin after every criticism he receives, watches as Jinwoo forces himself to smile for the cameras that don’t leave them alone for even a moment.
He watches the heartbreak in Jinwoo’s eyes as he says, “If I sleep a lot, maybe four hours? It’s not as if you’ll die if you sleep a few hours. It’s just that if I make a mistake, I will be the one that destroys the lives of the other four members.”
Seungyoon wonders why the only thing he can do is watch as the world steals away Jinwoo’s smile.
--
The sobs are muffled but are in no way quiet and the four of them stand helplessly at the doorway, looking at each other and then glancing at the curled-up form of their eldest member.
Taehyun is fidgeting, Mino is quiet and Seunghoon looks like he is ready to punch someone. Seungyoon closes his eyes and ushers them from the room. Despite the need to comfort, he knows from experience that what Jinwoo needs the most right now is solitude.
Seungyoon talks to him the next day, studiously ignoring the redness of Jinwoo’s eyes.
“It’s okay, hyung,” he starts carefully. “Anyone could have made that mistake…everything will turn out to be fine, you’ll see.”
The others also try their best to lift Jinwoo’s spirits up. Seunghoon slings an arm around Jinwoo and tells him ridiculous pun after ridiculous pun, Mino makes funny faces like it's the end of the world, and Taehyun plugs earphones into Jinwoo's ears to let him listen to the latest song he has composed.
Jinwoo manages to laugh at the rapper line's antics and compliments the maknae lavishly.
But Seungyoon knows that despite their best efforts, it won't make any difference. At the end of the day, Jinwoo’s smile remains brittle and shaky, threatening to disappear any moment.
Seungyoon thinks that it’s difficult to build someone up when the ones doing so are so worn-down themselves.
--
“Sing for me.”
Seungyoon looks up from the lyrics he had scribbled on his notebook and sees Jinwoo smiling tiredly at him from his bed. He writes down 'Smile Again' and underlines it twice before closing the notebook and setting it aside.
“What song do you want?”
“Anything,” Jinwoo yawns and Seungyoon wishes that he would sleep easy today. “Sing me to sleep, Seungyoon, since you've been nagging for me to do so for the past few days.”
“Only because you need it badly, hyung. Do not argue with me,” Seungyoon says firmly as Jinwoo opens his mouth to speak.
The other laughs softly and then nods.
Seungyoon grabs his guitar and strums a few tunes mindlessly; trying to decide which song he should sing.
He looks at Jinwoo blinking at him sleepily, eyelids almost too heavy to lift, looks at the bags beneath his expressive eyes and thinks back to all the times he’s watched the other.
Seungyoon thinks back to everything they've been through together and makes a decision.
...How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful, too
The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood…
…‘Cause all of me, loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning…
Jinwoo is almost asleep when Seungyoon finishes the song.
“That was beautiful,” he murmurs, eyes closed.
Seungyoon smiles, “Thanks, hyung. Go to sleep now.”
“It was in English, though” Jinwoo continues, words slurring a bit, “…I didn’t understand a thing.”
“You can search for it tomo-“ Seungyoon stops as Jinwoo lets out a soft snore.
Shaking his head fondly, he stands and fixes Jinwoo’s blanket.
“You’ll understand when the time’s right,” he whispers.
--
Over time, they learn to fit one member's weakness against another's strength and vice versa. They learn to be a family instead of just a group and Seungyoon watches as Jinwoo learns to smile again, watches as Seunghoon, Mino, and Taehyun follow suit. Or maybe it is Jinwoo who follows suit.
Seungyoon doesn't know and doesn't really care.
Looking at their mathyung as his smile reaches his eyes, Seungyoon smiles too.
A/N: thank you for reading! As this is my first foray into fanfiction for the winner fandom, I hope I did the boys justice. Kindly tell me what you think, constructive criticisms are very much welcome as are er, violent reactions
p.s the verb tense of the first line is deliberately different from the rest of the story. This is unbetaed so I hope I didn’t break too many grammar/spelling rules
fandom: winner
pairings/characters: implied!seungyoon/jinwoo, ot5
rating: g
summary: Seungyoon wonders why the only thing he can do is watch as the world steals away Jinwoo’s smile.
disclaimer: THIS IS FANFICTION. Also, the title and the song that Seungyoon 'sings' is from this lovely song.
It was an observation that Seungyoon was confident the other members would agree to: everyone seemed to be happy when Jinwoo-hyung was; it was just the way things worked.
Among the five of them, Jinwoo is the one who laughs the easiest, the one who finds happiness in the littlest things. It doesn't take much to make their mathyung happy and for that, Seungyoon is thankful and relieved because this is one of the reasons that despite the unending practices and evaluations, despite cruel remarks and fears of being dropped from the trainee line up, their group's mood remain as good as it could get.
Perhaps as a consequence, it unfortunately doesn't take much for Jinwoo to be hurt as well.
When sajangnim announces the battle, Seungyoon isn’t too overwhelmed not to notice Jinwoo’s smile turn brittle.
Seungyoon continues to watch him every day, watches as Jinwoo’s eyes lose their brightness, watches as the confidence Jinwoo has starts being chipped off until almost nothing is left but a shell of the person Seungyoon liked to think he knows like the back of his hand.
He watches as Jinwoo pushes himself to dance and sing better, watches as Jinwoo wears himself thin after every criticism he receives, watches as Jinwoo forces himself to smile for the cameras that don’t leave them alone for even a moment.
He watches the heartbreak in Jinwoo’s eyes as he says, “If I sleep a lot, maybe four hours? It’s not as if you’ll die if you sleep a few hours. It’s just that if I make a mistake, I will be the one that destroys the lives of the other four members.”
Seungyoon wonders why the only thing he can do is watch as the world steals away Jinwoo’s smile.
--
The sobs are muffled but are in no way quiet and the four of them stand helplessly at the doorway, looking at each other and then glancing at the curled-up form of their eldest member.
Taehyun is fidgeting, Mino is quiet and Seunghoon looks like he is ready to punch someone. Seungyoon closes his eyes and ushers them from the room. Despite the need to comfort, he knows from experience that what Jinwoo needs the most right now is solitude.
Seungyoon talks to him the next day, studiously ignoring the redness of Jinwoo’s eyes.
“It’s okay, hyung,” he starts carefully. “Anyone could have made that mistake…everything will turn out to be fine, you’ll see.”
The others also try their best to lift Jinwoo’s spirits up. Seunghoon slings an arm around Jinwoo and tells him ridiculous pun after ridiculous pun, Mino makes funny faces like it's the end of the world, and Taehyun plugs earphones into Jinwoo's ears to let him listen to the latest song he has composed.
Jinwoo manages to laugh at the rapper line's antics and compliments the maknae lavishly.
But Seungyoon knows that despite their best efforts, it won't make any difference. At the end of the day, Jinwoo’s smile remains brittle and shaky, threatening to disappear any moment.
Seungyoon thinks that it’s difficult to build someone up when the ones doing so are so worn-down themselves.
--
“Sing for me.”
Seungyoon looks up from the lyrics he had scribbled on his notebook and sees Jinwoo smiling tiredly at him from his bed. He writes down 'Smile Again' and underlines it twice before closing the notebook and setting it aside.
“What song do you want?”
“Anything,” Jinwoo yawns and Seungyoon wishes that he would sleep easy today. “Sing me to sleep, Seungyoon, since you've been nagging for me to do so for the past few days.”
“Only because you need it badly, hyung. Do not argue with me,” Seungyoon says firmly as Jinwoo opens his mouth to speak.
The other laughs softly and then nods.
Seungyoon grabs his guitar and strums a few tunes mindlessly; trying to decide which song he should sing.
He looks at Jinwoo blinking at him sleepily, eyelids almost too heavy to lift, looks at the bags beneath his expressive eyes and thinks back to all the times he’s watched the other.
Seungyoon thinks back to everything they've been through together and makes a decision.
...How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful, too
The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood…
…‘Cause all of me, loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning…
Jinwoo is almost asleep when Seungyoon finishes the song.
“That was beautiful,” he murmurs, eyes closed.
Seungyoon smiles, “Thanks, hyung. Go to sleep now.”
“It was in English, though” Jinwoo continues, words slurring a bit, “…I didn’t understand a thing.”
“You can search for it tomo-“ Seungyoon stops as Jinwoo lets out a soft snore.
Shaking his head fondly, he stands and fixes Jinwoo’s blanket.
“You’ll understand when the time’s right,” he whispers.
--
Over time, they learn to fit one member's weakness against another's strength and vice versa. They learn to be a family instead of just a group and Seungyoon watches as Jinwoo learns to smile again, watches as Seunghoon, Mino, and Taehyun follow suit. Or maybe it is Jinwoo who follows suit.
Seungyoon doesn't know and doesn't really care.
Looking at their mathyung as his smile reaches his eyes, Seungyoon smiles too.
A/N: thank you for reading! As this is my first foray into fanfiction for the winner fandom, I hope I did the boys justice. Kindly tell me what you think, constructive criticisms are very much welcome as are er, violent reactions
p.s the verb tense of the first line is deliberately different from the rest of the story. This is unbetaed so I hope I didn’t break too many grammar/spelling rules