I Suck At This
I am so sorry for my absence.
For my male readers, close your eyes or just scroll past this next page cut.
Literally, the week before my cycle is set to hit, I am pretty sure I am possessed by some sort of demonic spirit that takes over my mind and body. My therapist suggested I name this alternate person "Maleficent". Truthfully, that just sounds like too nice of a name to refer to this evil being.
It's really difficult trying to deal with anxiety and depression and trying to get past some of the hurdles I am working on when you have these kind of set-backs every month. I don't get "normal" PMS. The week before, I sink into a desperate hole of depression. I have no energy. I am angry, irritable, and quite frankly, I can't even stand myself. Once that week gets here, the only relief I get is the loss of some anger. The walk from the couch to the restroom or kitchen seems insurmountable. Every time I get excited about any sort of progression I make, it gets derailed. Every. Single. Month.
But the good news is, that we're past this week! So now it seems I just have an awful lot of catching up to do.
Have any of you ever struggled with finding your purpose or your passion in life? It's been so long since I had anything I felt truly passionate about. I am still in this awkward dance of trying to figure out and find things that make me happy. It's been so long since I have really felt happy or excited about much of anything. Except TV shows that I live through vicariously and of course irritate me with their poor writing choices at times.
I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue late last year - I have to say that after working with doctors that practice Western and Eastern styles of medicine, I have to say I like Eastern medication much better. It's a slow progression, but I suppose it is better than no progression.
It's difficult to be an adult and to really discover that you have no clue who you are. It's hard to be motivated when things that used to make you happy no longer do, and you aren't sure why.
Xo,
Me
For my male readers, close your eyes or just scroll past this next page cut.
Literally, the week before my cycle is set to hit, I am pretty sure I am possessed by some sort of demonic spirit that takes over my mind and body. My therapist suggested I name this alternate person "Maleficent". Truthfully, that just sounds like too nice of a name to refer to this evil being.
It's really difficult trying to deal with anxiety and depression and trying to get past some of the hurdles I am working on when you have these kind of set-backs every month. I don't get "normal" PMS. The week before, I sink into a desperate hole of depression. I have no energy. I am angry, irritable, and quite frankly, I can't even stand myself. Once that week gets here, the only relief I get is the loss of some anger. The walk from the couch to the restroom or kitchen seems insurmountable. Every time I get excited about any sort of progression I make, it gets derailed. Every. Single. Month.
But the good news is, that we're past this week! So now it seems I just have an awful lot of catching up to do.
Have any of you ever struggled with finding your purpose or your passion in life? It's been so long since I had anything I felt truly passionate about. I am still in this awkward dance of trying to figure out and find things that make me happy. It's been so long since I have really felt happy or excited about much of anything. Except TV shows that I live through vicariously and of course irritate me with their poor writing choices at times.
I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue late last year - I have to say that after working with doctors that practice Western and Eastern styles of medicine, I have to say I like Eastern medication much better. It's a slow progression, but I suppose it is better than no progression.
It's difficult to be an adult and to really discover that you have no clue who you are. It's hard to be motivated when things that used to make you happy no longer do, and you aren't sure why.
Xo,
Me