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Ed and Hank, Part 25, A week ago last Tuesday night.
What’s a cowboy ta do?
Note: Kinda/sorta a final chapter, although chapters 22 and 24 could also have been kinda/sorta final chapters… Plus, there will definitely be more at some point, maybe just not as regular-like. (Not to imply that their story was ever posted very regular-like.)
Warning: Brief mention of Jack’s death.
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. $$: For Ed 'n Hank 'n me, it's been priceless. Comments: Always appreciated.
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
What’s a cowboy ta do?
“Wha’ the hell are ya doin’?”
“Waitin’.”
“Waitin’ fer wha’?”
“Run clean outta story… ‘m waitin’ fer ya ta do somethin’ so’s I can write ‘bout it.”
“So… yer jus’ gonna sit there ‘n stare at me ‘til I do somethin’?”
“Tha’s the idea.”
“Shit.”
“Well…?”
“Well… sorry ta disappoint ya. Jus’ plan on sittin’ here ‘n drinkin’ ma beer. Maybe read the paper. Watch some TV. Guess if’n yer lucky I migh’ go hog wild a l’il later ‘n open ‘nother beer.”
“Jeez… Ya sure ain’t done much fer me ta write ‘bout these past few weeks…”
“Did you a fair number a times.”
Hank grinned, “Sure did… But ya know well ‘nough I still cain’t write ‘bout tha’. Jus’ don’ never come out righ’. Ya know… like… ‘Hank’s monumental granite spire thrust towards the heavens as he beheld Ed’s giant redwood loomin'…’”
“Okay, okay… I get the idea well ‘nough… Why don’ ya jus’ write ‘bout wha’ we do day ta day ‘round here? Ya know durin’ them real rare times when we’re fully clothed ‘n all.”
“Ain’t like we do much a anythin’.”
“Speak fer yer self.”
“Yeah… as if tha’ ‘Hank-never-does-his-share-a-the-work joke’ ain’t gettin’ old too.”
“Gettin’ old? Cain’t say as I ever found it real amusin’.”
“‘Sides… don’ think people wanna read ‘bout tha’ kinda stuff. Now maybe if’n ya were doin’ Bill in the barn, behind ma back ‘n all...”
“Lemme get this straight… Ya wan’ me ta do Bill jus’ so’s ya got somethin’ ta write ‘bout? Think ya finally lost yer ever-lovin’ mind, dumbass.”
“Jus’ a suggestion… Maybe break up the monotony ‘round here.”
“Jus’ don’ you go thinkin’ ‘bout doin’ Bill… or I’ll break up more ‘n the monotony ‘round here.”
“Yer awful cute when yer jealous.”
“Ain’t cute. Speakin’ a Bill… did he mention anythin’ to ya ‘bout them shirts yet?”
“Nope. Maybe smiled at me a l’il odd. Maybe not. Hard ta tell with Bill sometimes. But he ain’t said a word.”
“Ain’t Bill seein’ Betty now? Maybe tha’s why he were smilin’?”
“Yeah… They been out a few times since his sister set ‘em up. Lucky they didn’ have ta wait fer us ta get ‘round ta doin’ it. Kept waitin’ fer Bill’s ‘okay’, but his sister were smart ‘n jus’ went ahead ‘n did it withou’ askin’ him. Jus’ told him where ‘n when ta show up.”
“Why don’ ya write ‘bout tha’?”
“Guess I feel like tha’s none a my business ta write ‘bout. Think I already mighta went too far tellin’ wha’ he told me ‘bout Molly ‘n all. ‘Sides… ain’t like I know wha’ goes on ‘tween them. Bill ain’t one ta kiss ‘n tell.”
“Hard ta believe ya cain’t think a nothin’ else ta write ‘bout the last twenty-odd years we been ta gether.”
“Lookin’ back… ain’t nothin’ happened seems interestin’ or dramatic ‘nough ta write ‘bout … Jus’… life… ya know? Strugglin’ ta get by sometimes. Sometimes not. Had our fair share a hard times… but even the very worst days never seemed so bad once I had ya here with me. Hell… think I wrote somethin’ like tha' a couple a chapters back. Jus’ startin’ ta repeat ma self.”
“Happens when ya get ta be yer age.”
“Same age as you, dumbass.”
“Know whatcha mean… But all them years… Gotta be somethin’ fer ya ta write ‘bout... Argued plenty… Could write ‘bout some a them big ol’ fights we had.”
“Yeah… but people already know we’re ta gether. Know we ain’t never split up. Ain’t never gonna split up. So repeatin’ them arguments ain’t gonna be very interestin’. ’Sides… writin’ ‘bout ‘em’s jus’ liable ta start some of ‘em up again.”
“Yeah… guess there migh’ be a few we ain’t never finished proper-like.”
“Ain’t never gonna neither.”
“Says you…”
“Now yer jus’ bein’ a smartass.”
“Nope. Jus’ tryin’ ta start somethin’ maybe ya could write ‘bout”
“Thanks. Rather not fight if’n it’s all the same ta you.”
“Know ya already wrote ‘bout meetin’ Annie…”
“Yep. Wrote ‘bout meetin’ Annie ‘n my folks passin’ ‘n folks startin’ ta talk ‘bout us ‘round town…” Hank frowned, “Feel kinda bad ‘bout what I wrote ‘bout my ma though... Didn’ quite tell the truth...”
“Whaddya mean?”
“Wrote tha’ my ma ‘n me managed ta say ‘I love ya’ ta each other ‘fore she died. But… it didn’ really happen tha’ way…. Wrote it tha’ way jus’ ‘cause… well… I don’ rightly know why. I guess I jus’ wanted it ta ha’ been tha’ way. Real bad. Thought I’d write it down temporary-like… jus’ ta see wha’ it looked like. Didn’ mean ta post it online with tha’ in it. Few days later, by the time I realized it were still there, it seemed too late ta change it.”
“Thought ya jus’ never told me tha’. Or tha’ I’d forgotten ‘bout ya tellin’ me tha’. Remembered ya tellin’ me the rest… ‘bout yer ma askin’ ya ta take care a yer pa ‘n all.”
“Yeah… rest of it were like I wrote. Ma did manage ta tell me ta take care a pa… ‘n you… but by the time I managed ta get out them words… well… she weren’t ‘wake no more. ‘N she didn’ never wake up again after tha’.”
“Ya know she did though… don’ ya? Love ya, I mean.”
“Yeah… I guess…”
“Said this ‘fore ‘n I’ll say it again… speak from ‘xperience when I say it’s righ’ hard fer a lotta people ta say them words. Hell… I don’ know if’n I ever woulda managed with Iris but fer Nora makin’ sure I said it from when Iris were little on. ‘N ya know how much I love tha’ girl.”
“Woman.”
“Huh?”
“Ya know how ticked off Iris gets when ya call her a ‘girl’.”
“Well Iris ain’t no wheres ‘round so’s I can call her a ‘girl’ if’n I wanna. Anyways… more I said it ta her the easier it were ta say it. ‘N don’ think I ever woulda managed ta tell you tha’ first time ‘ceptin’ I never thought I were gonna lay my eyes… or anythin’ else fer tha’ matter… on ya again. Come ta think a it… you ‘n Iris are the only ones I ever said tha’ to. Them words never passed ‘tween Nora ‘n me.”
“Thanks Ed. Was always ‘fraid ta ask ya ‘bout tha’. Ya know yer the only one I ever said tha’ to too, dontcha? ”
“Know it now.”
“‘Sides my ma a course… ‘n I don’ think she could hear me no more. Shit. I shoulda been able ta tell her sooner… Shouldn’ oughta been waitin’ all them years fer her ta say it first.”
“Ya jus’ said ya knew yer ma loved ya, righ? She managed ta let ya know withou’ ever usin’ words, righ?”
“Yeah…”
“So ya can bet she knew tha’ you loved her too. .”
“Ya think so?”
“I know so. Words is all well ‘n good… but jus’ ‘cause ya can say it don’ mean ya mean it... 'n jus’ ‘cause ya cain’t say it don’ mean ya don’.”
“Think I know wha’ yer tryin’ ta say. Thanks, Ed. Feel better now. That is if’n the folks readin’ this ain’t ticked off at me ‘cause I lied ta ‘em.”
“Think they’ll forgive ya. Know ya jus’ wanted it ta be tha’ way. It’s more them 'monumental' 'n 'giant' lies ya told earlier tha’ I’d be worried ‘bout if’n I were you.”
“Tha’s called ‘poetic license’.”
“S'prised ain't no one revoked yers yet.”
“So… aside from insultin’ me… ya really ain’t gonna do nothin’, huh?”
“Weren’t plannin’ on it. Why don’ ya jus’ write ‘bout somethin’ else?”
“Nah. Writin’ ain’t in ma blood like with them other folks. Sides… only know our story ‘n ya know I ain’t good at makin’ stuff up. So… ‘lessen ya do somethin’…”
“We still migh’ be goin’ ta Chicago soon… ya could write ‘bout tha’, couldn’ ya?”
“Yeah… if’n we actually make it there this time 'n if'n anythin’ happens.”
“Ya never know… I migh’ jus’ s’prise ya ‘n do somethin’ while we're there.”
“Judgin’ by the only other time we went you’ll prob’bly end up goin’ down in history books as the cowboy tha’ ate Chicago.”
“Makin’ me sound like some kinda a monster. Didn’ eat tha’ much…”
“Can jus’ see ya climbin’ up the Sears Tower like King Kong, holdin’ a big ol’ Italian beef sandwich ‘n yer hand ‘stead a Fay Wray.”
“’Xplain ta me why I’d be eatin’ an Italian beef hangin’ from the Sears Tower when I could jus’ as easily keep both ma feet on the ground ‘n eat it jus’ the same?”
“Folks’d be after ya. Last Italian beef in the city… seein’ as ya already ate all the others.”
“Don’ rightly think tha’s possible. ‘Sides… Them are real good… but lotta other stuff ta eat too. Ain’t gonna limit ma self ta jus’ one food group.”
Still s’prised ya like all tha’ food.”
“What ain’t ta like? It’s food, ain’t it? Damn good food at tha’.”
“Sure is.”
“Shit…”
“Wha’?”
“Now ya got me thinkin’ ‘bout King Kong. Always felt real bad fer tha’ big ape.”
“Yeah, me too. Hey… speakin’ a movies… ya wanna watch one?”
“Wha’d ya have in mind?”
“I dunno…Think it migh’ be ‘bout time ya…?”
“Wait justa damn minute here… No way…”
“Why not?”
“Thought ya said ya didn’ wanna fight? Think there’s somethin’ serious-like wrong with ya… ‘m jus’ sittin’ here mindin’ m’ own business ‘n first yer talkin’ ‘bout me doin’ Bill…”
“Ya know damn well I were jus’ kiddin’ ‘bout Bill…”
“Yeah… but ya aren’t kiddin’ ‘bout this. Ya wanna make me do somethin’ ya know damn well I don’ wanna do jus’ so’s you can write ‘bout it.”
“Migh’ be part a it… but… think it’d be good fer ya ta watch it too.”
“’N jus’ why ‘xactly is tha’?
“…I… uh… I dunno… I jus’ don’ understand why ya don’ wanna watch it. Partly based on us ‘n all... Ain’t ya even a l’il curious?”
“Curious? Shit. Yeah… bein’ curious seems like a real good reason ta make ma self watch ya get killed on account a me bein’ too cowardly ta make a life with ya. I mean… Jack killed… I ain’t… I cain’t… Dammit… I jus’ don’ wanna watch tha’.”
“Folks don’ judge Ennis like tha’. They know damn well them tire irons got Ennis jus’ as surely as they got Jack. Man spent his life usin’ ‘em ta beat his self up jus’ like you did fer so damn long. ‘N they know damn well the world Ennis was livin’ in. Inside ‘n out. ‘N if’n you’d a ever seen wha’ Ennis saw when he were a boy… I don’ have no doubt tha’ we wouldn’ be ta gether now.”
“Dontcha think I know all tha’? Ya jus’ don’ get it. I jus’ cain’t watch tha’… I jus’ cain’t.”
“‘N folks jus’ want real bad fer Ennis ta get a second chance with Jack, knowin’ wha’ he knows at the end a tha’ movie. Wan’ ‘em ta get the life we got.”
“Hank…”
“‘N Ennis may be partly based on ya, but he ain’t you. ‘Cause somehow… ‘n I still don’ pretend ta know ‘xactly how ya managed it… ya went ‘gainst all tha’ religion tha’ were beat inta ya ‘n everythin’ ya ever been taught ‘n everythin’ ya ever believed… all in order ta be with me. Hell… who knows… maybe there’s some kinda special powers in tha’ old steerin’ wheel. I’ll go ‘n get it fer ya ta hold onta if’n ya wanna while…”
“Ya ain’t listenin’ ta me, Hank. I wantcha ta stop. Jus’ stop.”
“But…”
“Jus’ shut up ‘n listen ta me fer a minute here… ‘cause ‘m only gonna say this once. Remember when ya said ya felt bad ‘bout buggin’ me ‘bout showerin’ with ya? ‘N I said it didn’ bother me all them years ‘n I woulda told ya if’n it did?”
“Yeah…”
“Well… ’m tellin’ ya now… This bothers me. ‘N I wantcha ta stop. If’n I ever get the urge ta watch tha’ movie you’ll be the first ta know. But ‘til then… Please, jus’ stop askin’ me ta do tha’.”
“…Okay, Ed… ‘m sorry… I won’ bring it up again… ‘lessen you do.”
“Sometimes wish tha’ damn movie never been made.”
“You don’ mean tha’ do ya?”
“Hell… I dunno… no… I guess not… Think I mighta said this ‘fore… but maybe it’ll do some good in this here mean world. ‘Cause it ain’t just a movie. It’s the life we lived… at least part ways. ‘N a life a lotta folks lived. Lotta folks still livin’. I don’ mean a lotta folks are gettin’ killed with them tire irons… but it does happen. ‘N there are lotta folks still gettin’ hurt one way or ‘nother…”
“Yeah… lotsa folks still turnin’ them tire irons on themselves too… doin’ way with themselves or spendin’ their lives beatin’ themselves up jus’ on account a who they love.”
“Hell… I oughta know… came damn close ta doin’ the one ‘n spent a lotta years ‘fore ‘n after tha’ doin’ the other… ‘N ain’t like I stopped outrigh’ jus’ ‘cause I managed ta move in with ya. But I did stop. ‘N maybe tha’ movie… or even one a them stories… will help someone else ta stop doin’ tha’ ta themselves too. But none a tha’ means tha’ I gotta watch tha’ movie.”
“No, Ed… ya don’ gotta watch tha’ movie. But… Shit… Seein’ as yer mad at me anyways…”
“Ain’t mad at ya. Yet. Gettin’ mighty close though.”
“Yeah… can see the tips a yer ears turnin’ red.”
“Jus’ leave ma damn ears outta this ‘n spit out whatever it is tha’ ya have ta say.”
“It’s jus’ tha’… ‘n this has been botherin’ me fer a while… Maybe more folks like us gotta let the world know we’re out here.”
“Most folks ‘round here already know ‘bout us.”
“Don’ mean jus’ the folks ‘round here. ‘N they don’ really know ‘bout us. Do ya… do ya ever wonder if’n maybe lots a folks knowin’ who we are ‘n knowin’ our story would do any good? Ya know, like ya jus’ said maybe folks seein’ tha’ movie migh’ do some good.”
“Shit...Hank… If’n I cain’t even watch the damn movie wha’ on this ol’ earth would make ya think I could do tha’? I ain’t tha’ brave. Dammit. ‘S like ya put down one stick ‘n then jus’ pick up another ‘n start pokin’ at me with tha’ one. Where the hell ya keepin’ them sticks? I’d like ta make kindlin’ outta ‘em.”
“If’n it’s any consolation fer ya… tha’ pile a sticks is gettin’ pretty small.”
“Hell, can see it now. Wakin’ up some mornin’ ta find Oprah knockin’ on our door. ‘N all them mornin’ shows callin’ ‘n wantin’ us ta go on TV… God, I hate them mornin’ shows… Shit…”
“Bet Oprah likes pancakes. If’n she were knockin’ on our door we could jus’ invite her in fer breakfast. Let you make ‘em though ‘cause yer pancakes always turn out better ‘n mine. Hell… maybe we’d get a free trip ta Chicago.”
“Ya ain’t serious ‘bout this are ya? ‘N I don’ mean makin’ pancakes fer Oprah.”
“I dunno… Maybe it migh’ help some a them folks tha’ are still livin’ tha’ life we did fer so long. ‘N help them tha’ migh’ be goin’ through wha’ you did… them tha’ migh’ be thinkin’ ‘bout doin’ way with themselves. Happens more ‘n ya migh’ think… ‘Specially in these here parts.”
“Don’ think I don’ feel real bad ‘bout wha’ other folks migh’ be goin’ through… but… barely managed ta save ma self… wouldn’ hardly know how ta go ‘bout savin’ other folks. ‘Sides… jus’ ain’t no reasonin’ with religion. If’n a fella’s stuck under tha’ rock he’s purty much gotta figure out how ta get out from under it on his own.”
“Dunno if’n tha’s true fer everyone. Some folks migh’ wanna helpin’ hand.”
“Maybe. But I know damn well if’n someone had tried ta tell me tha’ I weren’t gonna go ta hell back when I thought I were, I jus’ flat out wouldna believed ‘em. ‘Lessen maybe it came from some kinda preacher. ‘N I sure as hell ain’t no goddamn preacher.”
Hank laughed, “Can jus’ see ya as a preacher… can jus’ ‘magine the sermons ya’d come up with…”
“Yeah… only got one sermon. ‘N it includes the l’il-known eleventh commandment. Goes like this, ‘Thou shalt not listen ta dumbasses preachin’ hate. Now get the hell outta church ‘n go do some thinkin’ fer yer selves. Amen.’”
“Think that’d go over real well…”
“Yeah…? So jus’ think whatta good guest I’d make on tha' 'Wake the Fuck Up America' show.”
“Think ya mean 'Good Mornin' America'..."
"They should change the name. Like mine better."
"Tha's wha' 'm tryin' ta say... jus’ feels kinda like we should do more.”
“Ya wanna know who I think should do more? Them religions tha’ s’posedly don’ think bein’ gay is a sin. Think them folks need ta get ta gether ‘n speak out long ‘n loud in order ta let people know tha’ all this preachin’ ‘bout gay folks gettin’ an ‘xpress ticket ta hell ‘n whatnot is justa bunch a bullshit.”
“Yeah… them other religions should speak out, but tha’ don’ mean…”
“’N even if’n they do… ya know wha’? Tha’ still won’ make no difference ta a lotta folks ‘cause they been taught tha’ their religion is the only true one ‘n everyone else is dead-wrong ‘n goin’ ta hell too. Righ’ smart way fer them hate-spewing bastards ta keep folks under their thumbs.”
“Was gonna say… But tha’ don’ mean they’re gonna. ‘N maybe we should at least try ta do somethin’.”
Think maybe yer overestimatin’ our story. ‘N maybe tha’ movie… heartbreakin’ endin’ ‘n all… can do a better job a makin’ folks think ‘bout wha’s wrong with this here world than two ol' dumbass cowboys managin’ ta live happily-ever-after ta gether ever could.”
"Guess I did kinda say the same thing ta Bill a while back... but... I jus' don' know, Ed...”
“Ya know damn well I cain’t do wha’ ya wan’ me to, Hank. Maybe ‘m bein’ selfish… but I love our life jus’ the way it is. Every dull, borin’, unexcitin’ minute of it… livin’ here ‘n havin’ ya all ta ma self. Don’ wanna let the the world in. ‘N don’ wanna go out inta it. Is tha’ so wrong?”
“Cain’t blame ya fer feelin’ tha’ way. ‘N don’ think I don’ feel the same way. But… gotta tell ya Ed… way this country’s been goin’ has me real worried. Them crazy religious types got a lot more political power these days… Hell... they're runnin' the damn country... usin’ laws ‘n our own government as their tire irons. ‘N ain’t jus’ ‘gainst gays... Ain't jus' 'bout religion. Never thought I’d see the things we been seein’. ‘N they ain’t even the majority in this country… but they sure as hell been drivin' it off course for a long time now.”
“’N how ‘xactly da ya figure tha’ the world knowin’ tha’ Jack ‘n Ennis were partly based on us is gonna help change all tha’?"
"Guess it ain't..."
“Maybe we can jus’ try’ n’ do more ta figh’ them kinda folks withou’ spillin' our guts ta the world. Write more letters. Maybe see if’n we can afford ta give more money ta them groups tha’ are fightin’ ‘em. Hell… I dunno wha’ else ta do...”
“Me neither, Ed... Wait a minute… Think I do got an idea here… I could make ya tha’ protest sign ya mentioned a while back ‘n send ya inta town…Ya know the ‘Ed’s here, Ed’s…”
“Shit. Knew the minute tha’ came outta ma mouth it were gonna get me inta trouble. Think I got an idea too… ‘m real tired a talkin’ ‘bout all this. So why don’ ya jus’ back ‘way real slow from tha’ there pile a sticks ya been pokin’ me with ‘n put some music on.”
“Guess I could do tha’. Hey… Where ya goin’?”
“Ta get somethin’ fer you ta do… ‘fore I seriously start considerin’ doin’ Bill jus’ ta get ya off ma back fer a while..”
“Thought ya liked me on yer back…”
“Yeah… bet them kinda jokes are gettin’ a l’il old too.” Ed walked over to the coat closet, reaching up to pull a package down from the shelf.
“Wha’s tha’?”
“Ain’t much, but guess if’n ya open it you’ll find out righ’ quick ‘xactly wha’ it is.”
Hank tore the box open, “Thanks, Ed…” Hank meant it, but at the same time he was a little confused.
“Was gonna wait ‘til you were done ta give this to ya… but migh’ as well give it ta ya now since it sounds like yer writin’ migh’ be slowin’ down some.” Ed shrugged, “Justa binder kinda thing… Ya know… fer yer story. Couldn’ find nothin’ nice ‘round here. Jus’ them ugly things with them big ol’ rings in ‘em . Told Iris ya were doin’ some writin’ ‘n asked her ta pick out somethin’ real nice fer ya ta put it in. She sent it ta me when she knew we weren’t gonna make it ta Chicago fer Christmas.”
“Don’ know wha’ ta say, Ed… Never thought ya’d wan’ me ta print the whole thing out like tha'. Means an awful lot ta me tha’ ya do…”
“Jus’ fer us mind ya. Least-wise ‘til after we’re dead. Or… after ‘m dead… If’n I go first ‘n ya wanna tell the whole world all ‘bout us after ‘m gone… you go right ahead.”
“Ya ain’t goin’ first...”
“Ya wanna bet? Drivin’ me inta ‘n early grave pokin’ me with all them sticks a yers.”
“Nah…Them sticks are good fer ya… Keep ya on yer toes.”
“Well ma toes are plumb wore out.”
“Guess I’ll jus’ have ta give ya a break then.”
“Believe tha’ when I see it. Anyways… I were gonna print some a it out fer ya in put it in there… few pages we got lyin' 'round are so beat up... Iris were gonna try ‘n help me over the phone… But I were ‘fraid a doin’ somethin’ wrong ‘n losin’ it or somethin’…”
“S’okay… ain’t never read through the whole thing… should prob’bly do tha’ ‘n fix it up some ‘fore I print anythin’ out. Prob’bly find out then jus’ how much I been repeatin’ ma self.”
“Good. Sounds like tha’ should keep ya busy fer a while ‘n me off a ma damn toes.”
“’N I think fer a while there I were writin’ like I knew what ya were thinkin’…”
“Ain’t never read nothin’ you wrote ‘bout what I were thinkin’ tha’ weren’t what I were thinkin’. Woulda told ya if’n it were. Or weren’t… I mean… I think.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind… I were gonna have the title printed on it… But wasn’t sure what ya wanted. Iris gave me the address ta send it to when ya make up yer mind ‘n they’ll print whatever ya wan’ on it.”
“Jus’ wan’ it ta say ‘Ed and Hank’.”
“Think ya should make it ‘Hank ‘n Ed’… Give yer self top billin’ ‘n all.”
“No way, Ed. I wrote it, so’s I get ta decide who gets top billin’. ‘N tha’ would definitely be you.”
“Wouldn’ be no story at all ‘cept fer you.”
“Think ya got tha’ backwards there. Wouldn’ be no story at all ‘cept fer you.”
“Think maybe we’re both righ’ this time.”
“Guess there's a first time fer everythin'. Yer still gettin' top billin' though.”
“Hey… wha’s tha’ music playin’? Kinda a sappy song… but tha’ woman’s sure got a real purty voice. Sounds like one a them angels singin’.”
“’S Alison Krauss. Iris sent us the cd a while back. Is sappy. But I like this song a whole lot… makes me think a you.”
(If'n you'd like to listen along, please open this in a new window:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bNfay6HiUo
“It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothin’ at all...
”
“Shit. You gotta be kiddin’ me…”
“Why would I be kiddin’?”
“Ya mean… all tha’ talkin’ I done… ‘n I didn’ need ta do it?”
“Didn’ ‘xactly need ta. But I sure as hell liked hearin’ it all. ‘Cept a course fer them parts ‘bout wantin’ ta do yer self in ‘n some other stuff. Though ‘m real glad ya managed ta tell me all tha’… ‘N I wouldna been able ta tell the whole story if’n ya hadn’ talked so much. Hell… I didn’ even know I didn’ know the whole story.”
“Shit. Well I ain’t gonna talk no more. Tha’s fer damn sure.”
“’S okay… I stored ‘way every sweet thing ya said ta me fer safe keepin’. Each one’s like a present ya give me. Never knew ya had all them sweet words in ya. Turns out yer a whole lot better at it than I am.”
“Don’ think I ain’t noticed tha’. Think ya migh' owe me some sweet talkin’.”
“Sure do. ‘N ‘m gonna print it all out fer ya. ‘S called ‘Ed and Hank’… ‘n it’s jus’ a big ol’ sappy love letter ta ya, dumbass.”
“Shit.”
“Where ya goin’? C’mon back here.”
“Where’s tha’ button ya hit ta make a song play over ‘n over?”
“In the center… ‘s marked ‘repeat’.”
“Found it… I jus’ hit it once while the song is playin’?”
“Yeah… But…”
“Song’s put me in the mood ta do somethin’…”
“It has, huh?”
“Yep. ‘N I think you’ll do jus’ fine.”
“Dunno… Worried I migh’ be too dull ‘n borin’ ‘n unexcitin’…”
“S’okay… Tha’s jus’ the way I like ya. C'mere, Hank...”
"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all…
“Why ya stoppin', Hank?”
“Gotta admit… do like them live cds... All tha’ clappin's good fer the ol’ ego ‘n this one’s got real good clappin'… ‘Thank yew. Thankyewverymuch’.”
“Hey, Elvis?”
“Yeah, Priscilla?”
“It okay with you if’n I save m’ applause fer the end?”
“Sure… But… it ain’t never really gonna end… righ’?”
“Not so long as I got anythin’ ta say ‘bout it.”
“Thought ya weren’t talkin’ no more?”
“Jus’ shut the hell up ‘n kiss me, dumbass.”
"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all......
===
It's
Ed and Hank...
So you know it's never really
the end.
===
What’s a cowboy ta do?
Note: Kinda/sorta a final chapter, although chapters 22 and 24 could also have been kinda/sorta final chapters… Plus, there will definitely be more at some point, maybe just not as regular-like. (Not to imply that their story was ever posted very regular-like.)
Warning: Brief mention of Jack’s death.
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. $$: For Ed 'n Hank 'n me, it's been priceless. Comments: Always appreciated.
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
What’s a cowboy ta do?
“Wha’ the hell are ya doin’?”
“Waitin’.”
“Waitin’ fer wha’?”
“Run clean outta story… ‘m waitin’ fer ya ta do somethin’ so’s I can write ‘bout it.”
“So… yer jus’ gonna sit there ‘n stare at me ‘til I do somethin’?”
“Tha’s the idea.”
“Shit.”
“Well…?”
“Well… sorry ta disappoint ya. Jus’ plan on sittin’ here ‘n drinkin’ ma beer. Maybe read the paper. Watch some TV. Guess if’n yer lucky I migh’ go hog wild a l’il later ‘n open ‘nother beer.”
“Jeez… Ya sure ain’t done much fer me ta write ‘bout these past few weeks…”
“Did you a fair number a times.”
Hank grinned, “Sure did… But ya know well ‘nough I still cain’t write ‘bout tha’. Jus’ don’ never come out righ’. Ya know… like… ‘Hank’s monumental granite spire thrust towards the heavens as he beheld Ed’s giant redwood loomin'…’”
“Okay, okay… I get the idea well ‘nough… Why don’ ya jus’ write ‘bout wha’ we do day ta day ‘round here? Ya know durin’ them real rare times when we’re fully clothed ‘n all.”
“Ain’t like we do much a anythin’.”
“Speak fer yer self.”
“Yeah… as if tha’ ‘Hank-never-does-his-share-a-the-work joke’ ain’t gettin’ old too.”
“Gettin’ old? Cain’t say as I ever found it real amusin’.”
“‘Sides… don’ think people wanna read ‘bout tha’ kinda stuff. Now maybe if’n ya were doin’ Bill in the barn, behind ma back ‘n all...”
“Lemme get this straight… Ya wan’ me ta do Bill jus’ so’s ya got somethin’ ta write ‘bout? Think ya finally lost yer ever-lovin’ mind, dumbass.”
“Jus’ a suggestion… Maybe break up the monotony ‘round here.”
“Jus’ don’ you go thinkin’ ‘bout doin’ Bill… or I’ll break up more ‘n the monotony ‘round here.”
“Yer awful cute when yer jealous.”
“Ain’t cute. Speakin’ a Bill… did he mention anythin’ to ya ‘bout them shirts yet?”
“Nope. Maybe smiled at me a l’il odd. Maybe not. Hard ta tell with Bill sometimes. But he ain’t said a word.”
“Ain’t Bill seein’ Betty now? Maybe tha’s why he were smilin’?”
“Yeah… They been out a few times since his sister set ‘em up. Lucky they didn’ have ta wait fer us ta get ‘round ta doin’ it. Kept waitin’ fer Bill’s ‘okay’, but his sister were smart ‘n jus’ went ahead ‘n did it withou’ askin’ him. Jus’ told him where ‘n when ta show up.”
“Why don’ ya write ‘bout tha’?”
“Guess I feel like tha’s none a my business ta write ‘bout. Think I already mighta went too far tellin’ wha’ he told me ‘bout Molly ‘n all. ‘Sides… ain’t like I know wha’ goes on ‘tween them. Bill ain’t one ta kiss ‘n tell.”
“Hard ta believe ya cain’t think a nothin’ else ta write ‘bout the last twenty-odd years we been ta gether.”
“Lookin’ back… ain’t nothin’ happened seems interestin’ or dramatic ‘nough ta write ‘bout … Jus’… life… ya know? Strugglin’ ta get by sometimes. Sometimes not. Had our fair share a hard times… but even the very worst days never seemed so bad once I had ya here with me. Hell… think I wrote somethin’ like tha' a couple a chapters back. Jus’ startin’ ta repeat ma self.”
“Happens when ya get ta be yer age.”
“Same age as you, dumbass.”
“Know whatcha mean… But all them years… Gotta be somethin’ fer ya ta write ‘bout... Argued plenty… Could write ‘bout some a them big ol’ fights we had.”
“Yeah… but people already know we’re ta gether. Know we ain’t never split up. Ain’t never gonna split up. So repeatin’ them arguments ain’t gonna be very interestin’. ’Sides… writin’ ‘bout ‘em’s jus’ liable ta start some of ‘em up again.”
“Yeah… guess there migh’ be a few we ain’t never finished proper-like.”
“Ain’t never gonna neither.”
“Says you…”
“Now yer jus’ bein’ a smartass.”
“Nope. Jus’ tryin’ ta start somethin’ maybe ya could write ‘bout”
“Thanks. Rather not fight if’n it’s all the same ta you.”
“Know ya already wrote ‘bout meetin’ Annie…”
“Yep. Wrote ‘bout meetin’ Annie ‘n my folks passin’ ‘n folks startin’ ta talk ‘bout us ‘round town…” Hank frowned, “Feel kinda bad ‘bout what I wrote ‘bout my ma though... Didn’ quite tell the truth...”
“Whaddya mean?”
“Wrote tha’ my ma ‘n me managed ta say ‘I love ya’ ta each other ‘fore she died. But… it didn’ really happen tha’ way…. Wrote it tha’ way jus’ ‘cause… well… I don’ rightly know why. I guess I jus’ wanted it ta ha’ been tha’ way. Real bad. Thought I’d write it down temporary-like… jus’ ta see wha’ it looked like. Didn’ mean ta post it online with tha’ in it. Few days later, by the time I realized it were still there, it seemed too late ta change it.”
“Thought ya jus’ never told me tha’. Or tha’ I’d forgotten ‘bout ya tellin’ me tha’. Remembered ya tellin’ me the rest… ‘bout yer ma askin’ ya ta take care a yer pa ‘n all.”
“Yeah… rest of it were like I wrote. Ma did manage ta tell me ta take care a pa… ‘n you… but by the time I managed ta get out them words… well… she weren’t ‘wake no more. ‘N she didn’ never wake up again after tha’.”
“Ya know she did though… don’ ya? Love ya, I mean.”
“Yeah… I guess…”
“Said this ‘fore ‘n I’ll say it again… speak from ‘xperience when I say it’s righ’ hard fer a lotta people ta say them words. Hell… I don’ know if’n I ever woulda managed with Iris but fer Nora makin’ sure I said it from when Iris were little on. ‘N ya know how much I love tha’ girl.”
“Woman.”
“Huh?”
“Ya know how ticked off Iris gets when ya call her a ‘girl’.”
“Well Iris ain’t no wheres ‘round so’s I can call her a ‘girl’ if’n I wanna. Anyways… more I said it ta her the easier it were ta say it. ‘N don’ think I ever woulda managed ta tell you tha’ first time ‘ceptin’ I never thought I were gonna lay my eyes… or anythin’ else fer tha’ matter… on ya again. Come ta think a it… you ‘n Iris are the only ones I ever said tha’ to. Them words never passed ‘tween Nora ‘n me.”
“Thanks Ed. Was always ‘fraid ta ask ya ‘bout tha’. Ya know yer the only one I ever said tha’ to too, dontcha? ”
“Know it now.”
“‘Sides my ma a course… ‘n I don’ think she could hear me no more. Shit. I shoulda been able ta tell her sooner… Shouldn’ oughta been waitin’ all them years fer her ta say it first.”
“Ya jus’ said ya knew yer ma loved ya, righ? She managed ta let ya know withou’ ever usin’ words, righ?”
“Yeah…”
“So ya can bet she knew tha’ you loved her too. .”
“Ya think so?”
“I know so. Words is all well ‘n good… but jus’ ‘cause ya can say it don’ mean ya mean it... 'n jus’ ‘cause ya cain’t say it don’ mean ya don’.”
“Think I know wha’ yer tryin’ ta say. Thanks, Ed. Feel better now. That is if’n the folks readin’ this ain’t ticked off at me ‘cause I lied ta ‘em.”
“Think they’ll forgive ya. Know ya jus’ wanted it ta be tha’ way. It’s more them 'monumental' 'n 'giant' lies ya told earlier tha’ I’d be worried ‘bout if’n I were you.”
“Tha’s called ‘poetic license’.”
“S'prised ain't no one revoked yers yet.”
“So… aside from insultin’ me… ya really ain’t gonna do nothin’, huh?”
“Weren’t plannin’ on it. Why don’ ya jus’ write ‘bout somethin’ else?”
“Nah. Writin’ ain’t in ma blood like with them other folks. Sides… only know our story ‘n ya know I ain’t good at makin’ stuff up. So… ‘lessen ya do somethin’…”
“We still migh’ be goin’ ta Chicago soon… ya could write ‘bout tha’, couldn’ ya?”
“Yeah… if’n we actually make it there this time 'n if'n anythin’ happens.”
“Ya never know… I migh’ jus’ s’prise ya ‘n do somethin’ while we're there.”
“Judgin’ by the only other time we went you’ll prob’bly end up goin’ down in history books as the cowboy tha’ ate Chicago.”
“Makin’ me sound like some kinda a monster. Didn’ eat tha’ much…”
“Can jus’ see ya climbin’ up the Sears Tower like King Kong, holdin’ a big ol’ Italian beef sandwich ‘n yer hand ‘stead a Fay Wray.”
“’Xplain ta me why I’d be eatin’ an Italian beef hangin’ from the Sears Tower when I could jus’ as easily keep both ma feet on the ground ‘n eat it jus’ the same?”
“Folks’d be after ya. Last Italian beef in the city… seein’ as ya already ate all the others.”
“Don’ rightly think tha’s possible. ‘Sides… Them are real good… but lotta other stuff ta eat too. Ain’t gonna limit ma self ta jus’ one food group.”
Still s’prised ya like all tha’ food.”
“What ain’t ta like? It’s food, ain’t it? Damn good food at tha’.”
“Sure is.”
“Shit…”
“Wha’?”
“Now ya got me thinkin’ ‘bout King Kong. Always felt real bad fer tha’ big ape.”
“Yeah, me too. Hey… speakin’ a movies… ya wanna watch one?”
“Wha’d ya have in mind?”
“I dunno…Think it migh’ be ‘bout time ya…?”
“Wait justa damn minute here… No way…”
“Why not?”
“Thought ya said ya didn’ wanna fight? Think there’s somethin’ serious-like wrong with ya… ‘m jus’ sittin’ here mindin’ m’ own business ‘n first yer talkin’ ‘bout me doin’ Bill…”
“Ya know damn well I were jus’ kiddin’ ‘bout Bill…”
“Yeah… but ya aren’t kiddin’ ‘bout this. Ya wanna make me do somethin’ ya know damn well I don’ wanna do jus’ so’s you can write ‘bout it.”
“Migh’ be part a it… but… think it’d be good fer ya ta watch it too.”
“’N jus’ why ‘xactly is tha’?
“…I… uh… I dunno… I jus’ don’ understand why ya don’ wanna watch it. Partly based on us ‘n all... Ain’t ya even a l’il curious?”
“Curious? Shit. Yeah… bein’ curious seems like a real good reason ta make ma self watch ya get killed on account a me bein’ too cowardly ta make a life with ya. I mean… Jack killed… I ain’t… I cain’t… Dammit… I jus’ don’ wanna watch tha’.”
“Folks don’ judge Ennis like tha’. They know damn well them tire irons got Ennis jus’ as surely as they got Jack. Man spent his life usin’ ‘em ta beat his self up jus’ like you did fer so damn long. ‘N they know damn well the world Ennis was livin’ in. Inside ‘n out. ‘N if’n you’d a ever seen wha’ Ennis saw when he were a boy… I don’ have no doubt tha’ we wouldn’ be ta gether now.”
“Dontcha think I know all tha’? Ya jus’ don’ get it. I jus’ cain’t watch tha’… I jus’ cain’t.”
“‘N folks jus’ want real bad fer Ennis ta get a second chance with Jack, knowin’ wha’ he knows at the end a tha’ movie. Wan’ ‘em ta get the life we got.”
“Hank…”
“‘N Ennis may be partly based on ya, but he ain’t you. ‘Cause somehow… ‘n I still don’ pretend ta know ‘xactly how ya managed it… ya went ‘gainst all tha’ religion tha’ were beat inta ya ‘n everythin’ ya ever been taught ‘n everythin’ ya ever believed… all in order ta be with me. Hell… who knows… maybe there’s some kinda special powers in tha’ old steerin’ wheel. I’ll go ‘n get it fer ya ta hold onta if’n ya wanna while…”
“Ya ain’t listenin’ ta me, Hank. I wantcha ta stop. Jus’ stop.”
“But…”
“Jus’ shut up ‘n listen ta me fer a minute here… ‘cause ‘m only gonna say this once. Remember when ya said ya felt bad ‘bout buggin’ me ‘bout showerin’ with ya? ‘N I said it didn’ bother me all them years ‘n I woulda told ya if’n it did?”
“Yeah…”
“Well… ’m tellin’ ya now… This bothers me. ‘N I wantcha ta stop. If’n I ever get the urge ta watch tha’ movie you’ll be the first ta know. But ‘til then… Please, jus’ stop askin’ me ta do tha’.”
“…Okay, Ed… ‘m sorry… I won’ bring it up again… ‘lessen you do.”
“Sometimes wish tha’ damn movie never been made.”
“You don’ mean tha’ do ya?”
“Hell… I dunno… no… I guess not… Think I mighta said this ‘fore… but maybe it’ll do some good in this here mean world. ‘Cause it ain’t just a movie. It’s the life we lived… at least part ways. ‘N a life a lotta folks lived. Lotta folks still livin’. I don’ mean a lotta folks are gettin’ killed with them tire irons… but it does happen. ‘N there are lotta folks still gettin’ hurt one way or ‘nother…”
“Yeah… lotsa folks still turnin’ them tire irons on themselves too… doin’ way with themselves or spendin’ their lives beatin’ themselves up jus’ on account a who they love.”
“Hell… I oughta know… came damn close ta doin’ the one ‘n spent a lotta years ‘fore ‘n after tha’ doin’ the other… ‘N ain’t like I stopped outrigh’ jus’ ‘cause I managed ta move in with ya. But I did stop. ‘N maybe tha’ movie… or even one a them stories… will help someone else ta stop doin’ tha’ ta themselves too. But none a tha’ means tha’ I gotta watch tha’ movie.”
“No, Ed… ya don’ gotta watch tha’ movie. But… Shit… Seein’ as yer mad at me anyways…”
“Ain’t mad at ya. Yet. Gettin’ mighty close though.”
“Yeah… can see the tips a yer ears turnin’ red.”
“Jus’ leave ma damn ears outta this ‘n spit out whatever it is tha’ ya have ta say.”
“It’s jus’ tha’… ‘n this has been botherin’ me fer a while… Maybe more folks like us gotta let the world know we’re out here.”
“Most folks ‘round here already know ‘bout us.”
“Don’ mean jus’ the folks ‘round here. ‘N they don’ really know ‘bout us. Do ya… do ya ever wonder if’n maybe lots a folks knowin’ who we are ‘n knowin’ our story would do any good? Ya know, like ya jus’ said maybe folks seein’ tha’ movie migh’ do some good.”
“Shit...Hank… If’n I cain’t even watch the damn movie wha’ on this ol’ earth would make ya think I could do tha’? I ain’t tha’ brave. Dammit. ‘S like ya put down one stick ‘n then jus’ pick up another ‘n start pokin’ at me with tha’ one. Where the hell ya keepin’ them sticks? I’d like ta make kindlin’ outta ‘em.”
“If’n it’s any consolation fer ya… tha’ pile a sticks is gettin’ pretty small.”
“Hell, can see it now. Wakin’ up some mornin’ ta find Oprah knockin’ on our door. ‘N all them mornin’ shows callin’ ‘n wantin’ us ta go on TV… God, I hate them mornin’ shows… Shit…”
“Bet Oprah likes pancakes. If’n she were knockin’ on our door we could jus’ invite her in fer breakfast. Let you make ‘em though ‘cause yer pancakes always turn out better ‘n mine. Hell… maybe we’d get a free trip ta Chicago.”
“Ya ain’t serious ‘bout this are ya? ‘N I don’ mean makin’ pancakes fer Oprah.”
“I dunno… Maybe it migh’ help some a them folks tha’ are still livin’ tha’ life we did fer so long. ‘N help them tha’ migh’ be goin’ through wha’ you did… them tha’ migh’ be thinkin’ ‘bout doin’ way with themselves. Happens more ‘n ya migh’ think… ‘Specially in these here parts.”
“Don’ think I don’ feel real bad ‘bout wha’ other folks migh’ be goin’ through… but… barely managed ta save ma self… wouldn’ hardly know how ta go ‘bout savin’ other folks. ‘Sides… jus’ ain’t no reasonin’ with religion. If’n a fella’s stuck under tha’ rock he’s purty much gotta figure out how ta get out from under it on his own.”
“Dunno if’n tha’s true fer everyone. Some folks migh’ wanna helpin’ hand.”
“Maybe. But I know damn well if’n someone had tried ta tell me tha’ I weren’t gonna go ta hell back when I thought I were, I jus’ flat out wouldna believed ‘em. ‘Lessen maybe it came from some kinda preacher. ‘N I sure as hell ain’t no goddamn preacher.”
Hank laughed, “Can jus’ see ya as a preacher… can jus’ ‘magine the sermons ya’d come up with…”
“Yeah… only got one sermon. ‘N it includes the l’il-known eleventh commandment. Goes like this, ‘Thou shalt not listen ta dumbasses preachin’ hate. Now get the hell outta church ‘n go do some thinkin’ fer yer selves. Amen.’”
“Think that’d go over real well…”
“Yeah…? So jus’ think whatta good guest I’d make on tha' 'Wake the Fuck Up America' show.”
“Think ya mean 'Good Mornin' America'..."
"They should change the name. Like mine better."
"Tha's wha' 'm tryin' ta say... jus’ feels kinda like we should do more.”
“Ya wanna know who I think should do more? Them religions tha’ s’posedly don’ think bein’ gay is a sin. Think them folks need ta get ta gether ‘n speak out long ‘n loud in order ta let people know tha’ all this preachin’ ‘bout gay folks gettin’ an ‘xpress ticket ta hell ‘n whatnot is justa bunch a bullshit.”
“Yeah… them other religions should speak out, but tha’ don’ mean…”
“’N even if’n they do… ya know wha’? Tha’ still won’ make no difference ta a lotta folks ‘cause they been taught tha’ their religion is the only true one ‘n everyone else is dead-wrong ‘n goin’ ta hell too. Righ’ smart way fer them hate-spewing bastards ta keep folks under their thumbs.”
“Was gonna say… But tha’ don’ mean they’re gonna. ‘N maybe we should at least try ta do somethin’.”
Think maybe yer overestimatin’ our story. ‘N maybe tha’ movie… heartbreakin’ endin’ ‘n all… can do a better job a makin’ folks think ‘bout wha’s wrong with this here world than two ol' dumbass cowboys managin’ ta live happily-ever-after ta gether ever could.”
"Guess I did kinda say the same thing ta Bill a while back... but... I jus' don' know, Ed...”
“Ya know damn well I cain’t do wha’ ya wan’ me to, Hank. Maybe ‘m bein’ selfish… but I love our life jus’ the way it is. Every dull, borin’, unexcitin’ minute of it… livin’ here ‘n havin’ ya all ta ma self. Don’ wanna let the the world in. ‘N don’ wanna go out inta it. Is tha’ so wrong?”
“Cain’t blame ya fer feelin’ tha’ way. ‘N don’ think I don’ feel the same way. But… gotta tell ya Ed… way this country’s been goin’ has me real worried. Them crazy religious types got a lot more political power these days… Hell... they're runnin' the damn country... usin’ laws ‘n our own government as their tire irons. ‘N ain’t jus’ ‘gainst gays... Ain't jus' 'bout religion. Never thought I’d see the things we been seein’. ‘N they ain’t even the majority in this country… but they sure as hell been drivin' it off course for a long time now.”
“’N how ‘xactly da ya figure tha’ the world knowin’ tha’ Jack ‘n Ennis were partly based on us is gonna help change all tha’?"
"Guess it ain't..."
“Maybe we can jus’ try’ n’ do more ta figh’ them kinda folks withou’ spillin' our guts ta the world. Write more letters. Maybe see if’n we can afford ta give more money ta them groups tha’ are fightin’ ‘em. Hell… I dunno wha’ else ta do...”
“Me neither, Ed... Wait a minute… Think I do got an idea here… I could make ya tha’ protest sign ya mentioned a while back ‘n send ya inta town…Ya know the ‘Ed’s here, Ed’s…”
“Shit. Knew the minute tha’ came outta ma mouth it were gonna get me inta trouble. Think I got an idea too… ‘m real tired a talkin’ ‘bout all this. So why don’ ya jus’ back ‘way real slow from tha’ there pile a sticks ya been pokin’ me with ‘n put some music on.”
“Guess I could do tha’. Hey… Where ya goin’?”
“Ta get somethin’ fer you ta do… ‘fore I seriously start considerin’ doin’ Bill jus’ ta get ya off ma back fer a while..”
“Thought ya liked me on yer back…”
“Yeah… bet them kinda jokes are gettin’ a l’il old too.” Ed walked over to the coat closet, reaching up to pull a package down from the shelf.
“Wha’s tha’?”
“Ain’t much, but guess if’n ya open it you’ll find out righ’ quick ‘xactly wha’ it is.”
Hank tore the box open, “Thanks, Ed…” Hank meant it, but at the same time he was a little confused.
“Was gonna wait ‘til you were done ta give this to ya… but migh’ as well give it ta ya now since it sounds like yer writin’ migh’ be slowin’ down some.” Ed shrugged, “Justa binder kinda thing… Ya know… fer yer story. Couldn’ find nothin’ nice ‘round here. Jus’ them ugly things with them big ol’ rings in ‘em . Told Iris ya were doin’ some writin’ ‘n asked her ta pick out somethin’ real nice fer ya ta put it in. She sent it ta me when she knew we weren’t gonna make it ta Chicago fer Christmas.”
“Don’ know wha’ ta say, Ed… Never thought ya’d wan’ me ta print the whole thing out like tha'. Means an awful lot ta me tha’ ya do…”
“Jus’ fer us mind ya. Least-wise ‘til after we’re dead. Or… after ‘m dead… If’n I go first ‘n ya wanna tell the whole world all ‘bout us after ‘m gone… you go right ahead.”
“Ya ain’t goin’ first...”
“Ya wanna bet? Drivin’ me inta ‘n early grave pokin’ me with all them sticks a yers.”
“Nah…Them sticks are good fer ya… Keep ya on yer toes.”
“Well ma toes are plumb wore out.”
“Guess I’ll jus’ have ta give ya a break then.”
“Believe tha’ when I see it. Anyways… I were gonna print some a it out fer ya in put it in there… few pages we got lyin' 'round are so beat up... Iris were gonna try ‘n help me over the phone… But I were ‘fraid a doin’ somethin’ wrong ‘n losin’ it or somethin’…”
“S’okay… ain’t never read through the whole thing… should prob’bly do tha’ ‘n fix it up some ‘fore I print anythin’ out. Prob’bly find out then jus’ how much I been repeatin’ ma self.”
“Good. Sounds like tha’ should keep ya busy fer a while ‘n me off a ma damn toes.”
“’N I think fer a while there I were writin’ like I knew what ya were thinkin’…”
“Ain’t never read nothin’ you wrote ‘bout what I were thinkin’ tha’ weren’t what I were thinkin’. Woulda told ya if’n it were. Or weren’t… I mean… I think.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind… I were gonna have the title printed on it… But wasn’t sure what ya wanted. Iris gave me the address ta send it to when ya make up yer mind ‘n they’ll print whatever ya wan’ on it.”
“Jus’ wan’ it ta say ‘Ed and Hank’.”
“Think ya should make it ‘Hank ‘n Ed’… Give yer self top billin’ ‘n all.”
“No way, Ed. I wrote it, so’s I get ta decide who gets top billin’. ‘N tha’ would definitely be you.”
“Wouldn’ be no story at all ‘cept fer you.”
“Think ya got tha’ backwards there. Wouldn’ be no story at all ‘cept fer you.”
“Think maybe we’re both righ’ this time.”
“Guess there's a first time fer everythin'. Yer still gettin' top billin' though.”
“Hey… wha’s tha’ music playin’? Kinda a sappy song… but tha’ woman’s sure got a real purty voice. Sounds like one a them angels singin’.”
“’S Alison Krauss. Iris sent us the cd a while back. Is sappy. But I like this song a whole lot… makes me think a you.”
(If'n you'd like to listen along, please open this in a new window:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bNfay6HiUo
“It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothin’ at all...
”
“Shit. You gotta be kiddin’ me…”
“Why would I be kiddin’?”
“Ya mean… all tha’ talkin’ I done… ‘n I didn’ need ta do it?”
“Didn’ ‘xactly need ta. But I sure as hell liked hearin’ it all. ‘Cept a course fer them parts ‘bout wantin’ ta do yer self in ‘n some other stuff. Though ‘m real glad ya managed ta tell me all tha’… ‘N I wouldna been able ta tell the whole story if’n ya hadn’ talked so much. Hell… I didn’ even know I didn’ know the whole story.”
“Shit. Well I ain’t gonna talk no more. Tha’s fer damn sure.”
“’S okay… I stored ‘way every sweet thing ya said ta me fer safe keepin’. Each one’s like a present ya give me. Never knew ya had all them sweet words in ya. Turns out yer a whole lot better at it than I am.”
“Don’ think I ain’t noticed tha’. Think ya migh' owe me some sweet talkin’.”
“Sure do. ‘N ‘m gonna print it all out fer ya. ‘S called ‘Ed and Hank’… ‘n it’s jus’ a big ol’ sappy love letter ta ya, dumbass.”
“Shit.”
“Where ya goin’? C’mon back here.”
“Where’s tha’ button ya hit ta make a song play over ‘n over?”
“In the center… ‘s marked ‘repeat’.”
“Found it… I jus’ hit it once while the song is playin’?”
“Yeah… But…”
“Song’s put me in the mood ta do somethin’…”
“It has, huh?”
“Yep. ‘N I think you’ll do jus’ fine.”
“Dunno… Worried I migh’ be too dull ‘n borin’ ‘n unexcitin’…”
“S’okay… Tha’s jus’ the way I like ya. C'mere, Hank...”
"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all…
“Why ya stoppin', Hank?”
“Gotta admit… do like them live cds... All tha’ clappin's good fer the ol’ ego ‘n this one’s got real good clappin'… ‘Thank yew. Thankyewverymuch’.”
“Hey, Elvis?”
“Yeah, Priscilla?”
“It okay with you if’n I save m’ applause fer the end?”
“Sure… But… it ain’t never really gonna end… righ’?”
“Not so long as I got anythin’ ta say ‘bout it.”
“Thought ya weren’t talkin’ no more?”
“Jus’ shut the hell up ‘n kiss me, dumbass.”
"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all......
===
It's
Ed and Hank...
So you know it's never really
the end.
===