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Ed and Hank, 2nd update
It's a sign of the times... (Part 2)
Don't mean to yell, but..
THIS IS PART 2, PLEASE READ PART 1 FIRST.
PART 1 IS HERE:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/24896.html
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
It's a sign of the times... (Part 2)
"Mornin', Hank."
"Mornin', Ed."
"How'd ya sleep?"
"Good. Real good."
"How 'bout you?"
"Real good too."
"Ya wan' some coffee? Got some made here."
"Thanks. So... I were thinkin'... maybe it'd be a whole lot easier 'n save a whole lotta time if'n we jus' kept this site again tonight. Ya know, not havin' ta pack everythin' up 'n go lookin' fer one a them primitive sites."
"I dunno... Don' got much ta pack up."
"Ya gotta admit... it were purty quiet. 'N this site is 'bout as private as they come in a regular campground. 'N we're real close ta where we wanna be 'n all..."
"Okay... but let's jus' pay fer one night at a time. Tha' way if'n we change our minds tomorrow we ain't out no money."
"Sounds good. I'll go pay righ' now."
"Wait a minute, Hank... don' I even get a good mornin' 'n glad ta see yer still alive 'n kickin' kiss?"
"Daylight 'n all... didn' think ya'd wan' me to..."
"Don' seem ta be no one roamin' 'round yet... 'm willin' ta risk a quick one."
"Okay then... brace yer self."
...
......
"Tha' weren't 'xactly a quick one."
"Ya wanna file a complaint? Prob'bly ain't no police 'round, but I could go get a park ranger."
"Nah... Guess there weren't no laws broken."
"Sure 'bout tha'? Ya do remember wha' state we live in, dontcha?"
"Ain't like anyone here ever let's ya forget it."
^^^^^^^^^^^
“Shit. Didya see this, Hank?”
“Tha’s prob’bly jus’ leftover from last year. I remember readin' 'bout it then. They had the campground closed 'n everythin'. 'M sure they’d let us know if’n it were real dangerous.”
“Ya think the government wouldn’ never lie ta us, huh?”
"See yer point. But I sure as hell ain't gonna let a l'il bubonic plague stop us from enjoyin' our vacation. 'Sides... we can be real careful... if'n we see a chipmunk or a squirrel we can jus' scream real loud 'n run like hell."
"There ya go with the runnin' again. I ain't runnin'..."
"How 'bout a real fast saunter then?"
"Migh' be able ta manage tha'."
^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Shit. Ya wan’ me ta climb down inta tha' canyon, dontcha?”
“Yep. Ain't tha' far down. 'Sides... ya've climbed down inta lots a canyons before.”
“Sign says there’s three ladders ya gotta climb. Don’ know if’n I can, Hank. Don’ like ladders.”
“Seen ya up on ladders lots a times.”
“Jus' 'cause I didn' have no choice. Was work tha' had ta be done. Don' think I got no work ta do at the bottom a tha' canyon.”
“Jus’ give it a try. We can turn back if’n it bothers ya too much. Plenty a other stuff we can do instead.”
...
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.........
"Them ladders don' look too sturdy."
"'M sure they're fine. Lotta folks goin' up 'n down 'm every day. Jus' don' look down."
"How the hell do ya not look down when yer goin' down a ladder?"
...
......
.........
“Ya made it Ed. Tha' weren't so bad, was it?"
"Weren't so good neither."
"Now what’re ya doin’?”
“Lookin’ fer a nice place ta live down here. Ain’t no way ‘m goin’ back up tha’ trail.”
“Plenty a folks used ta live down here. Tha’s why I brought ya down here. I were talkin’ ta tha’ one fella from Colorado in the campground earlier when ya were takin' yer sweet time gettin' ready…”
“Ya always gotta be talkin' up other fellas, dontcha?”
"Jeez, Ed... jus’ chattin’. Ya know damn well park rangers don’ never tell ya nothin’… Ya gotta talk ta folks ta find out where the real interestin’ stuff is. Fella told me where there’s a ruin ‘n some rock art up tha’ canyon there. ‘N I know damn well ya like ruins ‘n rock art. Was gonna s’prise ya… but ya been bitchin’ so much…”
“’Xactly how far up tha’ canyon?”
“Not far. Fella said up maybe three or four bends… only ‘bout a thirty minute stroll. Be back in no time.”
"Yeah... kinda like them folks goin' out on tha' three-hour tour..."
"Guess tha'd make you Gilligan."
"Don' wanna be Gilligan. Think maybe yer more the Gilligan-type."
"Guess tha'd make you the Skipper then."
"Don' wanna be the Skipper neither. Think 'm more the Professor-type."
"Ya do, huh? Okay... 'm Gilligan 'n yer the Professor."
"Jus' don' lemme catch ya foolin' 'round with the Skipper."
"I got a better idea... How 'bout you jus' be Hank 'n I'll be Ed?"
"Guess that'll work. Ya ready?"
"Do I gotta choice?"
"Nope."
"Then 'm ready."
"Okay... let's go then."
...
......
.........
"On second thought... maybe 'm not ready."
"Don' pay no attention ta tha' sign."
"Don' pay no attention ta tha' sign... don' pay no attention ta tha' other sign... Next thing ya know we're wanderin' 'round in this maze a canyons hopelessly lost 'n sufferin' from bubonic plague..."
"It ain't the wrong way if'n ya know it's the wrong way. 'Sides... yer the one said ya didn' believe in signs a while back..."
"Not the kinda signs I meant."
"Got a good map, Ed. Look... I'll show ya... This is where we are. This is 'bout where we're goin'. Ain't far. Ain't no other side canyons comin' in fer a while tha' migh' confuse us like tha' one time. Got plenty a water 'n food in case we wanna go further."
"Further? First yer sayin' anythin' 'bout further."
"Jus' if'n we wanna. Fella said he followed tha' canyon fer an hour or more past tha' ruin 'n didn' see nothin' else. But don' mean nothin's there. Otherwise, if'n we jus' come back ta here 'n head in the other direction there's some rock art tha' way too. Buncha handprints. Know ya always like them handprints. Other stuff too..."
"Hour 'n a half up there. Hour 'n a half back. Soundin' more 'n more like tha' three-hour tour all the time."
"Well... you bein' the Professor-type 'n all... if'n we get lost you can jus' make us a radio outta twigs 'n rocks 'n we can call fer help."
"Think maybe ya watched too much TV in yer life."
"Yer the one brought it up ta begin with. Ain't like you don' know it too."
"Had Iris as 'n excuse."
"Yeah? Well it ain't like I had a lot else ta do waitin' all them years fer ya ta make up yer mind 'n move in. Choices were pretty much watchin' TV with my folks or goin' inta town 'n seein' a movie or goin' inta town 'n gettin' good 'n drunk. Or headin' up ta my room, or out ta tha' trailer, 'n listenin' ta the radio. But tha' jus' made things worse 'cause I'd end up thinkin' 'bout you. Tell ya... I watched a whole lotta TV, seen prit' near every movie tha' came ta town... some of 'em two or three times... 'n spent more 'n my fair share a time gettin' good 'n drunk..."
"Guess maybe I jus' better shut up 'n we should jus' be headin' up tha' canyon now..."
"Guess maybe tha'd be a righ' good idea."
"'Sides... think maybe tha' there baby bunny is lookin' at me kinda funny-like."
"Sign didn' say nothin' 'bout no bunnies bein' a plague threat... jus' chipmunks 'n squirrels 'n other rodents, like mice 'n rats."
"'N ya s'pose tha' bunny read tha' sign?"
"'Course not, dumbass. He's justa baby bunny. His mama prob'bly had ta read it to him."
"Hey... tha' sign also said 'cats'... a cat ain't no rodent neither."
"Well... guess the only thing we can do then is get the hell 'way from him. Just in case..."
"Ya think we should run?"
"Thought ya didn' run? 'Sides... maybe it'd be better if'n we jus' backed 'way real slow-like."
"Okay. Don' look him in the eye."
"He followin' us?"
"Don' think so."
...
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.........
............
"Think I see tha' rock art."
"Yeah. Hard ta miss it. Almos' as big as one a them billboards."
"Fella said tha' one's s'posed ta be the profile of a bear's head."
"Don' look like no bear I ever seen. Looks more like one a them dinosaurs. A big ol' Tyrannosaurus."
"Ya gotta admit, Ed... tha' rock art 'n ruin were worth it... weren't it?"
"Yeah. Do ya think tha' rock art were real though? We seen a lot a rock art 'n ain't none never looked like tha' 'fore."
"Think it's real. Jus' prob'bly ain't as old as all the other stuff we seen over the years. I'll check them books Iris sent us when we get back home. Tell ya... withou' Iris bet we wouldn' have hardly no music or books in tha' house."
"Now ya got me missin' Iris again."
"Sorry, Ed. How's yer hand? Does it still hurt?"
"Throbbin' a l'il."
"Shoulda let me boost ya up there. Wouldna got tha' branch stuck in there like tha'."
"Prob'bly woulda slipped anyways 'cause tha' rock had some sand on it. Shoulda looked closer first. Grabbed fer them sharp branches ta keep from fallin'... Jus' got me in a bad spot is all... righ' 'tween ma fingers like tha'. Lucky fer you it's ma left hand."
"Think you'll live then?"
"Prob'bly. Mus' be a big disappointment ta them vultures tha' been circlin'."
"Nah... not 'nough meat on yer bones. 'Sides, meat ya do have is prob'bly too tough fer 'em."
"Ya think, huh?"
"Yeah... all tha' lean, hard... muscle..."
"Why ya stoppin', Hank?"
"Ed...?"
"Uh uh... No way, Hank. Not 'nough cover here. 'N someone could come 'round tha' corner any time. Ain't like there ain't no other footprints 'round."
"Not many... 'n we ain't seen no one."
"'S all we need is some church group from Podunk, Kansas 'roundin' tha' bend 'n seein' us havin' at it."
"Migh' be the highlight a their trip."
"Or some troop a girl scouts... like last summer."
"Okay, okay... ya don' have ta remind me 'bout them girl scouts. Hey... Wha' 'bout if'n we head back ta tha' rockfall where ya hurt yer hand? Plenty a cover there... 'mongst all them big boulders."
"Yeah... prob'bly plenty a plague-infected chipmunks 'n squirrels 'n bunnies too. Not ta mention scorpions 'n whatnot. Maybe even a rattlesnake or two."
"Yer jus' l'il ol' Mary Sunshine ta day, ain't ya?"
"Yep."
"Hold up, Ed... Think yer hand's bleedin' again. Lemme take a look at it."
"Don' worry 'bout it... jus' in a bad spot... band-aid won't hold."
"But all tha' blood migh' attract a mountain lion or somethin'... Maybe even a bear like in tha' paintin'... a big ol' grizzly on vacation from Montana. Or one a them rare but deadly desert land sharks... or even..."
"Technically speakin'... think tha'd be a semi-arid land shark. Not 'xactly a desert here..."
"C'mon, Ed... Lemme clean it out again. I'll put some more a tha' stuff on it. Think we got a clean bandana in the pack... I'll wrap tha' 'round it good... stop the bleedin'."
"Okay..."
"After all, wouldn' wan' ya ta get none a tha' flesh eatin' bacteria in there."
"Shit..."
"Then if'n yer feelin' better later... hold still, Ed... 's jus' water..."
"Still hurts..."
"Anyways... if'n yer feelin' better later on thought we migh' go lookin' fer a cave with a big ol' rat's nest full a droppin's 'n catch ourselves tha' hantavirus and the plague all in one fell swoop... save ourselves a whole lotta time tha' way..."
...
......
"Damn, Ed... Thought ya didn' wanna..."
"Justa kiss. Don' go gettin' yer self all riled up. Thought maybe it'd shut ya up fer a minute."
"Ain't gettin' ma self all riled up. Yer the one tha's gettin' me all riled up."
"Hey, Hank!"
"Huh...? Oh... Hey there!"
"Shit."
"Don' worry, Ed. Tha's jus' Paul 'n Nancy. Met 'em earlier in the campground. They were talkin' with tha' fella from Colorado too. They're real nice. From Eugene, Oregon. They won' mind a bit 'bout us."
"Hey Paul, Nancy... this here's my pardner, Ed."
"Hi Ed."
"Nice to meet you, Ed."
"Good ta meet you folks too."
"Y'all headed ta tha' ruin?"
"Yeah."
"Just up 'nother bend or two. Them pictographs stand out real good. Ya cain't miss it. Jus' be careful 'round tha' rockfall."
"Blah,blah,blah, other ruins, blah,blah,blah, other rock art sites, blah,blah,blah, politics, blah,blah,blah, other canyons, blah,blah,blah Oregon, blah,blah,blah, more politics, blah,blah,blah, the weather, blah,blah,blah..."
"Well... sure been nice talking, but we better get going. Unfortunately, we have to start heading towards home right after this hike."
"Nice talkin' ta you folks too. You have a safe trip, now."
"Thanks. You too."
...
......
"Fella said "hike". Knew ya had me hikin'."
"They migh' be hikin', but we ain't hikin'. Like I said... we're jus' meanderin' 'round a bit."
"Nice change from them neighbors a ours though. Them folks acted like there weren't nothin' wrong with us."
"Ain' nothin' wrong with us, Ed."
"I know... but... ya know wha' I mean."
"Yeah... I know wha' ya mean."
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.........
"Almos' back ta where we started, Ed. Ya wanna head in the other direction 'n find them handprints? Ain't far."
"Might as well... 's long as we're already down here..."
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"Tha's a mighty well-built cairn there. Gotta get me a picture of it."
"Now why don' tha' s'prise me none?"
"'N lookit this next one. Someone musta had some fun buildin' these."
"If'n I hadn' been with ya all day I woulda thought it were you."
"Looks like we're almos' there. Prob'bly why they got them cairns there. Bet they're under tha' big ol' overhang."
"Hmmm... Nice 'n shady. Water nearby. Good view. Walls already painted. This migh' be it."
"So... lemme guess... yer gonna live here 'stead a climbin' back outta this here canyon with me?"
"Yep. 'N in winter I'll move ta tha' sunnier spot. That'll be my winter home 'n this'll be my summer home. Feel free ta come 'n visit whenever ya want. 'N be sure ta bring pie."
"Hate ta break this to ya, professor, but I don' think tha' stream runs year 'round. Think it dries up soon as the snow stops meltin' from them higher elevations."
"Don' think yer righ'. Size a them trees down here. 'N all the other plants 'n stuff. Must run year 'round. Or least-wise most a the year."
"Maybe. Well... when ya go ta drink it jus' be sure ya watch out fer tha' there cryptosporidium, think tha's one a them there parasites, 'n then ya got tha' girardia 'n all them other bacteria.... Nice 'n muddy too... looks real tasty. 'Course ya can always boil it 'fore drinkin'. Nothin' better than some nice hot water on a nice hot day."
"Shit."
"Yeah... think cow shit's wha' ya get tha' giardia from."
"Yer just a barrel a interestin' information, ain't ya?"
"Ya do have one other option..."
"What's tha'?"
"Ya can walk 'bout six miles up tha' canyon thataway 'n you'll be able ta climb out real easy-like. No ladders. No drop-offs. Just a nice stroll out. Don' know wha' them six miles are like though. Ain't never done it 'cause it ain't tha' purty a canyon..."
"Six miles ain't tha' far..."
"Be glad ta meet ya with the truck. I'll prob'bly head back ta camp fer a while 'n take a nice, long nap first. Give ya plenty a time ta get there."
"A nap, huh?"
"Yeah... under a tree... in the shade... cool breeze blowin'. Maybe have ma self a nice, cold beer first..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Sorry, Hank... Dozed off fer a lot longer than I thought I would."
"Tha's okay, Ed... Tha's wha' vacations are for. 'Sides, jus' got back ma self. Since you were sleepin I went ta check 'n make sure tha' fella from Colorado got back safe 'n sound. He went off to a purty remote canyon by his self ta day."
"Didn' know he were here by his self."
"Yeah. His wife don' like this kinda stuff but he loves it. Man's a retired cop. Spends a month or more in this area every year 'xplorin' all them canyons 'n lookin' fer ruins 'n rock art. He don' never go nowhere's else. Didn' make it where he wanted ta go ta day... Well... made it ta the canyon, but he thought the route down didn' look safe 'nough ta do it by his self..."
"Hey, Hank!"
"Hi Mitch!"
"Just wanted to ask if you and...Ed, is it...? If you wanted to come over for a few beers later? Or wine. We got both."
"Thanks, Mitch. And yeah, this here's my pardner, Ed."
"Pleased to meet you, Ed."
"Good ta meet you too."
"Tha' be okay with you, Ed?"
"Sure, Hank."
"Thanks, Mitch. Wha' time ya want us over?"
"Jus' come over whenever ya feel like it."
"Sounds good. Yer in site four, righ'?"
"Yeah. See you guys later then."
"See ya."
...
.....
"Mitch?"
"Yeah... Mitch 'n Theresa... Met them on my way back to the site. Real nice folks. Funny too. Livin' in Spokane now, but they were in Wisconsin before. She's a speech somethin' or other... works mostly with folks who've had strokes 'n whatnot... 'n he trades milk futures or somethin' like tha' with fella's still livin' back in Wisconsin. Or Chicago. I think. They got three sons. One's a doctor, one's an engineer 'n one's still in school."
"You tellin' everyone ya meet 'm yer pardner?"
"Pretty much. Saw fer yer self... Paul 'n Nancy didn' bat an eyelash over it. Neither did Mitch or Theresa. Oh... and Mitch is even more 'fraid a heights than you are. Theresa couldn' get him down tha' trail we went down ta day. He waited for her up top."
"So's who else didya make friends with while I were nappin'?"
"Met a nice couple from England. Retired. Didn' catch their names. Fella's a photographer so he's in hog heaven in this here state. Got a son livin' in California... their only kid so they ain't too pleased 'bout it. But they're makin' the best a it. He flies 'em over once or twice a year 'n they use some a their time ta travel 'round. "
"Ya mention me?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"No eyelash battin' whatsoever."
"Tha' it?"
"Nope. Natalie... she's camped 'cross the way... travelin' by herself. Student. Wants ta be a park ranger. She's in a real hurry. Tryin' ta see as many national parks 'n monuments 'n whatnot as she can. Said she's up ta 'bout 100. Says there's 390 altogether. Cain't hardly believe tha'. Some a them mus' be pretty durn small. But guess she oughta know. This is her third park this trip 'n she wants ta get ta two more 'fore she has ta head back in a couple a days. Didn' have the heart ta tell her she missed a big ol' ruin when she were hikin' ta day."
"One we went to weren't big."
"Not tha' one. Diff'rent one. Lot bigger, but a lot easier ta miss if'n ya don' know where ta look. We can go tomorrow if'n ya want."
"Maybe ya should tell her. She could go back if'n she wants ta see it 'fore leavin'."
"Guess I should. Kinda shape she's in she could prob'bly run down there 'n back in no time at all 'fore she heads off tomorrow mornin'."
"Ya lookin' at women now? I got somethin' ta worry 'bout?"
"No I ain't lookin' at women. She jus' told me 'bout all the hikin' she's been doin. Only' got eyes fer you, dumbass."
"So ya told her 'bout us too?"
"Nope... couldn' hardly get a word in edgwise... Or I woulda. I'll try again when I go tell her 'bout tha' ruin. 'Course don' know if'n I wanna disappoint her 'n all..."
"'M sure she'll be crushed but she'll prob'bly manage ta get over it somehow."
"Hope so. Always feel bad fer them women tha' fall fer me."
"Ya tell tha' fella from Colorado?"
"Yep. Worked it inta the conversation by sayin' my pardner Ed is currently sacked out in the shade under a tree."
"And?"
"Gotta admit... did see his eyelashes bat some. Stiffened up some too. But seemed ta relax when he realized I weren't gonna make a play fer him. Stayed a lot friendlier than I 'xpected him to. Thought he migh' be one a them bible thumpers. Do ya remember tha' wrong turn in tha' one canyon we came close ta makin' a few years back?"
"Ain't likely ta ferget tha'. Weren't a good day all 'round. Didn' even find one ruin neither."
"Turns out he's been ta tha' same canyon. Found some a them ruins, but he didn' find 'em all. Ended up doin' the same thing we did. Only he went up the wrong canyon where we picked the righ' one. He walked clear up it 'til it dead-ended. Had him real worried fer a while.
"He were lucky tha' wrong canyon dead-ended 'stead a splittin' off more. We shoulda built a cairn or arrow outta rocks ta point the way when we were there. Jus' figured it were only us bein' stupid."
"Yeah, but we weren't even sure we were headed in the righ' direction fer a while. Anyways... after he knew 'bout you bein' ma partner 'n all, he still told me tha' story 'n told me how ta find some a them ruins in tha' canyon tha' we missed. So I guess it didn' bother him too much."
"Shit. Think I woulda preferred tha' he took more of a dislike' ta ya."
"Now why wouldya say somethin' like tha'?"
"'Cause now you'll jus' be draggin' me back ta tha' canyon sometime, wontcha?"
"Prob'bly."
"So... is there anybody in this campground ya didn' make friends with?"
"Yeah... Them folks tha' are in RVs. 'Course tha' migh' be because they never seem ta come outside... 'lessen it's ta adjust their satellite dishes."
"How d'ya do it, Hank? How d' ya talk ta all them folks so easy-like?"
"Dunno... I guess I... Maybe I jus' got one a them faces tha' makes folks talk. Though it ain't like it ever had tha' effect on you. Least-wise not fer the first thirty-odd years. So's it mus' not be tha'."
"Maybe it jus' took a l'il longer ta work with me."
"'N jus'... the way we live... I don' get ta talk ta folks a lot. Not complainin', mind ya, but... I kinda look forward ta tha'... ta meetin' folks... when we go campin' 'n meanderin' 'round."
"Ya didn' never used ta tell folks we met 'bout us... Don' rightly know how I feel 'bout tha'..."
"Figured you outin' us ta them neighbors give me the green light ta go ahead 'n try it out with some other folks. 'N once I started, 'n it went okay, well... it got a l'il easier each time. 'N now... gotta tell ya... now I feel like I cain't stop. I wanna go up ta all them RVs 'n knock on the door 'n tell 'em 'm Hank 'n tha's Ed over yonder 'n we're ta gether. I wanna go ta the edge a tha' canyon in yell down inta it tha' this here is Ed 'n he's all mine. I wanna..."
"Think I created a monster..."
"Yep..."
"Well... d'ya think ya can hold off on your next outin'-us rampage 'til after dinner? 'M real hungry."
"Sure, Ed. Ya wanna cook it or clean it up?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Finished cleanin' up from supper. 'Ya 'bout ready ta head over ta their campsite?"
"Sure, Ed... Jus' lookin' at some a the pictures I took ta day."
"Lemme see."
"Jeez... Hank... I shoulda known... Ya really do got a one-track mind, dontcha?"
"Don' have no idea wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed"
"Ya don', huh?"
"Nope. Think maybe yer sufferin' from one a them over-active imaginations."
"Yeah? Think it's more like yer sufferin' from an over-active somethin' yer self."
"Maybe yer righ'. Maybe I should see someone 'bout it. Migh' be able ta cure me."
"Dontcha dare. Like ya jus' the way ya are."
A few days later....
"Well... Got everythin' packed up... Guess it's 'bout time we headed home. I sure had a good time. Did you, Ed?"
"Yeah, Hank. I had a real good time. Thanks fer makin' me take a vacation. If'n we'd stayed at home prob'bly jus' woulda been mopin' 'round 'cause I couldn' see Iris."
"Think we gotta do this more often."
"Yeah... think maybe we should too. Hey, Hank?"
"Yeah, Ed?"
"I... uh... I made ya somethin'..."
"Wha'?"
"'S over there..."
"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed."
"Look down... At the tent pad."
"Yer kiddin'? Ya did tha' fer me? Shit. Thanks, Ed. It's real nice."
"Woulda made it bigger, but the shadows were comin' fast. 'N were gonna use our real names... but since yers was from Hank ta Ed figured I'd use them names too. Mine's jus' a l'il late. More'n a l'il, I guess... Almos' six weeks late."
"More like thirty-odd years late... but who's countin'?"
"Guess you are."
"Don' know if'n I have the heart ta erase it though. No pun intended. Think yer gonna have ta do it."
"'Don' wanna erase it."
"Ya don'...? Thought ya wouldn' wanna leave it..."
"Think from now on, whenever we go campin', we should maybe leave somethin' like tha' behind. Know it won' last, 'specially bein' on the tent pad like tha'... guess I shoulda picked a diff'rent spot... but at least it'll be there fer a l'il while. Jus' kinda like leavin' our mark on the world... temporary-like."
"Like tha' idea Ed. Like it a whole lot."
Time to head home.
And this time home is into the sunset.
---
"Don' remember tha' sunset, Hank."
"Ain't from this trip. From last fall..."
"Ain't tha' cheatin'?"
"Maybe. But I missed gettin' a picture a the sunset on the way home
'cause ya got hungry 'n wanted ta stop 'n eat."
"Fella's gotta eat."
"Never said ya didn'. Just 'xplainin' why."
"Tha' place had good pie. Not real good. But good."
"Yep."
"Tha' sunset picture turned out real nice. But..."
"Wha'?"
"Ain't tha' lookin' north from...?"
"Yeah, it is."
"So... the picture weren't really taken headin' inta the sunset, like ya said."
"No... but we were headin' west when we came home from campin'."
"Not the whole way. Started out headin' northwest, then went north,
then headed west, then south fer a piece. I think."
"Sure we didn' never head east?"
"Don' think so. But with them roads... 's poss'ble, I guess...
Ya wan' me ta get the map?"
"Tha's okay. I'll take yer word fer it."
---
Happy trails, y'all.
(No matter what direction you're headed...)
---
later...
"Wha' the hell are ya doin', Hank?"
"Think 'm doin' the Swim righ' now. Was lookin' fer a song tha' went with all them signs in ma post. Came 'cross this video. Cain't seem ta watch it withou' dancin'."
"Yer jus' a big ol' kid, ain't ya?"
"Yep. You should try it sometime."
"Bet ya don' even think I can... Lemme get these boots off... they weigh a fella down..."
"Close yer mouth, Hank... bee's liable ta fly in 'n sting ya."
"Jus'... Didn' figure... Ain't 'xactly the kind a dancin'... I mean..."
"Tryin' ta spit somethin' out there, Hank?"
"How...?"
"Wha' kinda daddy would I a been if'n I didn' dance ta all the latest music with my l'il girl when she wanted ta? Now... Ya wanna talk? Or ya wanna dance with me?"
"...Dance with ya. Definitely dance with ya."
"Hey Ed?"
"Yeah, Hank?"
"Ya s'pose the folks readin' this would wanna dance too?"
"Dunno... Maybe..."
"I'll give 'em the link jus' in case they'd like ta join in. The more the merrier when it comes ta dancin'... least-wise like this."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzTcztL_yQk
"Think maybe yer bein' a l'il optimistic 'bout the number a folks readin' this?"
"Maybe."
It's a sign of the times... (Part 2)
Don't mean to yell, but..
THIS IS PART 2, PLEASE READ PART 1 FIRST.
PART 1 IS HERE:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/24896.html
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
It's a sign of the times... (Part 2)
"Mornin', Hank."
"Mornin', Ed."
"How'd ya sleep?"
"Good. Real good."
"How 'bout you?"
"Real good too."
"Ya wan' some coffee? Got some made here."
"Thanks. So... I were thinkin'... maybe it'd be a whole lot easier 'n save a whole lotta time if'n we jus' kept this site again tonight. Ya know, not havin' ta pack everythin' up 'n go lookin' fer one a them primitive sites."
"I dunno... Don' got much ta pack up."
"Ya gotta admit... it were purty quiet. 'N this site is 'bout as private as they come in a regular campground. 'N we're real close ta where we wanna be 'n all..."
"Okay... but let's jus' pay fer one night at a time. Tha' way if'n we change our minds tomorrow we ain't out no money."
"Sounds good. I'll go pay righ' now."
"Wait a minute, Hank... don' I even get a good mornin' 'n glad ta see yer still alive 'n kickin' kiss?"
"Daylight 'n all... didn' think ya'd wan' me to..."
"Don' seem ta be no one roamin' 'round yet... 'm willin' ta risk a quick one."
"Okay then... brace yer self."
...
......
"Tha' weren't 'xactly a quick one."
"Ya wanna file a complaint? Prob'bly ain't no police 'round, but I could go get a park ranger."
"Nah... Guess there weren't no laws broken."
"Sure 'bout tha'? Ya do remember wha' state we live in, dontcha?"
"Ain't like anyone here ever let's ya forget it."
^^^^^^^^^^^
“Shit. Didya see this, Hank?”
“Tha’s prob’bly jus’ leftover from last year. I remember readin' 'bout it then. They had the campground closed 'n everythin'. 'M sure they’d let us know if’n it were real dangerous.”
“Ya think the government wouldn’ never lie ta us, huh?”
"See yer point. But I sure as hell ain't gonna let a l'il bubonic plague stop us from enjoyin' our vacation. 'Sides... we can be real careful... if'n we see a chipmunk or a squirrel we can jus' scream real loud 'n run like hell."
"There ya go with the runnin' again. I ain't runnin'..."
"How 'bout a real fast saunter then?"
"Migh' be able ta manage tha'."
^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Shit. Ya wan’ me ta climb down inta tha' canyon, dontcha?”
“Yep. Ain't tha' far down. 'Sides... ya've climbed down inta lots a canyons before.”
“Sign says there’s three ladders ya gotta climb. Don’ know if’n I can, Hank. Don’ like ladders.”
“Seen ya up on ladders lots a times.”
“Jus' 'cause I didn' have no choice. Was work tha' had ta be done. Don' think I got no work ta do at the bottom a tha' canyon.”
“Jus’ give it a try. We can turn back if’n it bothers ya too much. Plenty a other stuff we can do instead.”
...
......
.........
"Them ladders don' look too sturdy."
"'M sure they're fine. Lotta folks goin' up 'n down 'm every day. Jus' don' look down."
"How the hell do ya not look down when yer goin' down a ladder?"
...
......
.........
“Ya made it Ed. Tha' weren't so bad, was it?"
"Weren't so good neither."
"Now what’re ya doin’?”
“Lookin’ fer a nice place ta live down here. Ain’t no way ‘m goin’ back up tha’ trail.”
“Plenty a folks used ta live down here. Tha’s why I brought ya down here. I were talkin’ ta tha’ one fella from Colorado in the campground earlier when ya were takin' yer sweet time gettin' ready…”
“Ya always gotta be talkin' up other fellas, dontcha?”
"Jeez, Ed... jus’ chattin’. Ya know damn well park rangers don’ never tell ya nothin’… Ya gotta talk ta folks ta find out where the real interestin’ stuff is. Fella told me where there’s a ruin ‘n some rock art up tha’ canyon there. ‘N I know damn well ya like ruins ‘n rock art. Was gonna s’prise ya… but ya been bitchin’ so much…”
“’Xactly how far up tha’ canyon?”
“Not far. Fella said up maybe three or four bends… only ‘bout a thirty minute stroll. Be back in no time.”
"Yeah... kinda like them folks goin' out on tha' three-hour tour..."
"Guess tha'd make you Gilligan."
"Don' wanna be Gilligan. Think maybe yer more the Gilligan-type."
"Guess tha'd make you the Skipper then."
"Don' wanna be the Skipper neither. Think 'm more the Professor-type."
"Ya do, huh? Okay... 'm Gilligan 'n yer the Professor."
"Jus' don' lemme catch ya foolin' 'round with the Skipper."
"I got a better idea... How 'bout you jus' be Hank 'n I'll be Ed?"
"Guess that'll work. Ya ready?"
"Do I gotta choice?"
"Nope."
"Then 'm ready."
"Okay... let's go then."
...
......
.........
"On second thought... maybe 'm not ready."
"Don' pay no attention ta tha' sign."
"Don' pay no attention ta tha' sign... don' pay no attention ta tha' other sign... Next thing ya know we're wanderin' 'round in this maze a canyons hopelessly lost 'n sufferin' from bubonic plague..."
"It ain't the wrong way if'n ya know it's the wrong way. 'Sides... yer the one said ya didn' believe in signs a while back..."
"Not the kinda signs I meant."
"Got a good map, Ed. Look... I'll show ya... This is where we are. This is 'bout where we're goin'. Ain't far. Ain't no other side canyons comin' in fer a while tha' migh' confuse us like tha' one time. Got plenty a water 'n food in case we wanna go further."
"Further? First yer sayin' anythin' 'bout further."
"Jus' if'n we wanna. Fella said he followed tha' canyon fer an hour or more past tha' ruin 'n didn' see nothin' else. But don' mean nothin's there. Otherwise, if'n we jus' come back ta here 'n head in the other direction there's some rock art tha' way too. Buncha handprints. Know ya always like them handprints. Other stuff too..."
"Hour 'n a half up there. Hour 'n a half back. Soundin' more 'n more like tha' three-hour tour all the time."
"Well... you bein' the Professor-type 'n all... if'n we get lost you can jus' make us a radio outta twigs 'n rocks 'n we can call fer help."
"Think maybe ya watched too much TV in yer life."
"Yer the one brought it up ta begin with. Ain't like you don' know it too."
"Had Iris as 'n excuse."
"Yeah? Well it ain't like I had a lot else ta do waitin' all them years fer ya ta make up yer mind 'n move in. Choices were pretty much watchin' TV with my folks or goin' inta town 'n seein' a movie or goin' inta town 'n gettin' good 'n drunk. Or headin' up ta my room, or out ta tha' trailer, 'n listenin' ta the radio. But tha' jus' made things worse 'cause I'd end up thinkin' 'bout you. Tell ya... I watched a whole lotta TV, seen prit' near every movie tha' came ta town... some of 'em two or three times... 'n spent more 'n my fair share a time gettin' good 'n drunk..."
"Guess maybe I jus' better shut up 'n we should jus' be headin' up tha' canyon now..."
"Guess maybe tha'd be a righ' good idea."
"'Sides... think maybe tha' there baby bunny is lookin' at me kinda funny-like."
"Sign didn' say nothin' 'bout no bunnies bein' a plague threat... jus' chipmunks 'n squirrels 'n other rodents, like mice 'n rats."
"'N ya s'pose tha' bunny read tha' sign?"
"'Course not, dumbass. He's justa baby bunny. His mama prob'bly had ta read it to him."
"Hey... tha' sign also said 'cats'... a cat ain't no rodent neither."
"Well... guess the only thing we can do then is get the hell 'way from him. Just in case..."
"Ya think we should run?"
"Thought ya didn' run? 'Sides... maybe it'd be better if'n we jus' backed 'way real slow-like."
"Okay. Don' look him in the eye."
"He followin' us?"
"Don' think so."
...
......
.........
............
"Think I see tha' rock art."
"Yeah. Hard ta miss it. Almos' as big as one a them billboards."
"Fella said tha' one's s'posed ta be the profile of a bear's head."
"Don' look like no bear I ever seen. Looks more like one a them dinosaurs. A big ol' Tyrannosaurus."
"Ya gotta admit, Ed... tha' rock art 'n ruin were worth it... weren't it?"
"Yeah. Do ya think tha' rock art were real though? We seen a lot a rock art 'n ain't none never looked like tha' 'fore."
"Think it's real. Jus' prob'bly ain't as old as all the other stuff we seen over the years. I'll check them books Iris sent us when we get back home. Tell ya... withou' Iris bet we wouldn' have hardly no music or books in tha' house."
"Now ya got me missin' Iris again."
"Sorry, Ed. How's yer hand? Does it still hurt?"
"Throbbin' a l'il."
"Shoulda let me boost ya up there. Wouldna got tha' branch stuck in there like tha'."
"Prob'bly woulda slipped anyways 'cause tha' rock had some sand on it. Shoulda looked closer first. Grabbed fer them sharp branches ta keep from fallin'... Jus' got me in a bad spot is all... righ' 'tween ma fingers like tha'. Lucky fer you it's ma left hand."
"Think you'll live then?"
"Prob'bly. Mus' be a big disappointment ta them vultures tha' been circlin'."
"Nah... not 'nough meat on yer bones. 'Sides, meat ya do have is prob'bly too tough fer 'em."
"Ya think, huh?"
"Yeah... all tha' lean, hard... muscle..."
"Why ya stoppin', Hank?"
"Ed...?"
"Uh uh... No way, Hank. Not 'nough cover here. 'N someone could come 'round tha' corner any time. Ain't like there ain't no other footprints 'round."
"Not many... 'n we ain't seen no one."
"'S all we need is some church group from Podunk, Kansas 'roundin' tha' bend 'n seein' us havin' at it."
"Migh' be the highlight a their trip."
"Or some troop a girl scouts... like last summer."
"Okay, okay... ya don' have ta remind me 'bout them girl scouts. Hey... Wha' 'bout if'n we head back ta tha' rockfall where ya hurt yer hand? Plenty a cover there... 'mongst all them big boulders."
"Yeah... prob'bly plenty a plague-infected chipmunks 'n squirrels 'n bunnies too. Not ta mention scorpions 'n whatnot. Maybe even a rattlesnake or two."
"Yer jus' l'il ol' Mary Sunshine ta day, ain't ya?"
"Yep."
"Hold up, Ed... Think yer hand's bleedin' again. Lemme take a look at it."
"Don' worry 'bout it... jus' in a bad spot... band-aid won't hold."
"But all tha' blood migh' attract a mountain lion or somethin'... Maybe even a bear like in tha' paintin'... a big ol' grizzly on vacation from Montana. Or one a them rare but deadly desert land sharks... or even..."
"Technically speakin'... think tha'd be a semi-arid land shark. Not 'xactly a desert here..."
"C'mon, Ed... Lemme clean it out again. I'll put some more a tha' stuff on it. Think we got a clean bandana in the pack... I'll wrap tha' 'round it good... stop the bleedin'."
"Okay..."
"After all, wouldn' wan' ya ta get none a tha' flesh eatin' bacteria in there."
"Shit..."
"Then if'n yer feelin' better later... hold still, Ed... 's jus' water..."
"Still hurts..."
"Anyways... if'n yer feelin' better later on thought we migh' go lookin' fer a cave with a big ol' rat's nest full a droppin's 'n catch ourselves tha' hantavirus and the plague all in one fell swoop... save ourselves a whole lotta time tha' way..."
...
......
"Damn, Ed... Thought ya didn' wanna..."
"Justa kiss. Don' go gettin' yer self all riled up. Thought maybe it'd shut ya up fer a minute."
"Ain't gettin' ma self all riled up. Yer the one tha's gettin' me all riled up."
"Hey, Hank!"
"Huh...? Oh... Hey there!"
"Shit."
"Don' worry, Ed. Tha's jus' Paul 'n Nancy. Met 'em earlier in the campground. They were talkin' with tha' fella from Colorado too. They're real nice. From Eugene, Oregon. They won' mind a bit 'bout us."
"Hey Paul, Nancy... this here's my pardner, Ed."
"Hi Ed."
"Nice to meet you, Ed."
"Good ta meet you folks too."
"Y'all headed ta tha' ruin?"
"Yeah."
"Just up 'nother bend or two. Them pictographs stand out real good. Ya cain't miss it. Jus' be careful 'round tha' rockfall."
"Blah,blah,blah, other ruins, blah,blah,blah, other rock art sites, blah,blah,blah, politics, blah,blah,blah, other canyons, blah,blah,blah Oregon, blah,blah,blah, more politics, blah,blah,blah, the weather, blah,blah,blah..."
"Well... sure been nice talking, but we better get going. Unfortunately, we have to start heading towards home right after this hike."
"Nice talkin' ta you folks too. You have a safe trip, now."
"Thanks. You too."
...
......
"Fella said "hike". Knew ya had me hikin'."
"They migh' be hikin', but we ain't hikin'. Like I said... we're jus' meanderin' 'round a bit."
"Nice change from them neighbors a ours though. Them folks acted like there weren't nothin' wrong with us."
"Ain' nothin' wrong with us, Ed."
"I know... but... ya know wha' I mean."
"Yeah... I know wha' ya mean."
...
......
.........
"Almos' back ta where we started, Ed. Ya wanna head in the other direction 'n find them handprints? Ain't far."
"Might as well... 's long as we're already down here..."
...
......
"Tha's a mighty well-built cairn there. Gotta get me a picture of it."
"Now why don' tha' s'prise me none?"
"'N lookit this next one. Someone musta had some fun buildin' these."
"If'n I hadn' been with ya all day I woulda thought it were you."
"Looks like we're almos' there. Prob'bly why they got them cairns there. Bet they're under tha' big ol' overhang."
"Hmmm... Nice 'n shady. Water nearby. Good view. Walls already painted. This migh' be it."
"So... lemme guess... yer gonna live here 'stead a climbin' back outta this here canyon with me?"
"Yep. 'N in winter I'll move ta tha' sunnier spot. That'll be my winter home 'n this'll be my summer home. Feel free ta come 'n visit whenever ya want. 'N be sure ta bring pie."
"Hate ta break this to ya, professor, but I don' think tha' stream runs year 'round. Think it dries up soon as the snow stops meltin' from them higher elevations."
"Don' think yer righ'. Size a them trees down here. 'N all the other plants 'n stuff. Must run year 'round. Or least-wise most a the year."
"Maybe. Well... when ya go ta drink it jus' be sure ya watch out fer tha' there cryptosporidium, think tha's one a them there parasites, 'n then ya got tha' girardia 'n all them other bacteria.... Nice 'n muddy too... looks real tasty. 'Course ya can always boil it 'fore drinkin'. Nothin' better than some nice hot water on a nice hot day."
"Shit."
"Yeah... think cow shit's wha' ya get tha' giardia from."
"Yer just a barrel a interestin' information, ain't ya?"
"Ya do have one other option..."
"What's tha'?"
"Ya can walk 'bout six miles up tha' canyon thataway 'n you'll be able ta climb out real easy-like. No ladders. No drop-offs. Just a nice stroll out. Don' know wha' them six miles are like though. Ain't never done it 'cause it ain't tha' purty a canyon..."
"Six miles ain't tha' far..."
"Be glad ta meet ya with the truck. I'll prob'bly head back ta camp fer a while 'n take a nice, long nap first. Give ya plenty a time ta get there."
"A nap, huh?"
"Yeah... under a tree... in the shade... cool breeze blowin'. Maybe have ma self a nice, cold beer first..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Sorry, Hank... Dozed off fer a lot longer than I thought I would."
"Tha's okay, Ed... Tha's wha' vacations are for. 'Sides, jus' got back ma self. Since you were sleepin I went ta check 'n make sure tha' fella from Colorado got back safe 'n sound. He went off to a purty remote canyon by his self ta day."
"Didn' know he were here by his self."
"Yeah. His wife don' like this kinda stuff but he loves it. Man's a retired cop. Spends a month or more in this area every year 'xplorin' all them canyons 'n lookin' fer ruins 'n rock art. He don' never go nowhere's else. Didn' make it where he wanted ta go ta day... Well... made it ta the canyon, but he thought the route down didn' look safe 'nough ta do it by his self..."
"Hey, Hank!"
"Hi Mitch!"
"Just wanted to ask if you and...Ed, is it...? If you wanted to come over for a few beers later? Or wine. We got both."
"Thanks, Mitch. And yeah, this here's my pardner, Ed."
"Pleased to meet you, Ed."
"Good ta meet you too."
"Tha' be okay with you, Ed?"
"Sure, Hank."
"Thanks, Mitch. Wha' time ya want us over?"
"Jus' come over whenever ya feel like it."
"Sounds good. Yer in site four, righ'?"
"Yeah. See you guys later then."
"See ya."
...
.....
"Mitch?"
"Yeah... Mitch 'n Theresa... Met them on my way back to the site. Real nice folks. Funny too. Livin' in Spokane now, but they were in Wisconsin before. She's a speech somethin' or other... works mostly with folks who've had strokes 'n whatnot... 'n he trades milk futures or somethin' like tha' with fella's still livin' back in Wisconsin. Or Chicago. I think. They got three sons. One's a doctor, one's an engineer 'n one's still in school."
"You tellin' everyone ya meet 'm yer pardner?"
"Pretty much. Saw fer yer self... Paul 'n Nancy didn' bat an eyelash over it. Neither did Mitch or Theresa. Oh... and Mitch is even more 'fraid a heights than you are. Theresa couldn' get him down tha' trail we went down ta day. He waited for her up top."
"So's who else didya make friends with while I were nappin'?"
"Met a nice couple from England. Retired. Didn' catch their names. Fella's a photographer so he's in hog heaven in this here state. Got a son livin' in California... their only kid so they ain't too pleased 'bout it. But they're makin' the best a it. He flies 'em over once or twice a year 'n they use some a their time ta travel 'round. "
"Ya mention me?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"No eyelash battin' whatsoever."
"Tha' it?"
"Nope. Natalie... she's camped 'cross the way... travelin' by herself. Student. Wants ta be a park ranger. She's in a real hurry. Tryin' ta see as many national parks 'n monuments 'n whatnot as she can. Said she's up ta 'bout 100. Says there's 390 altogether. Cain't hardly believe tha'. Some a them mus' be pretty durn small. But guess she oughta know. This is her third park this trip 'n she wants ta get ta two more 'fore she has ta head back in a couple a days. Didn' have the heart ta tell her she missed a big ol' ruin when she were hikin' ta day."
"One we went to weren't big."
"Not tha' one. Diff'rent one. Lot bigger, but a lot easier ta miss if'n ya don' know where ta look. We can go tomorrow if'n ya want."
"Maybe ya should tell her. She could go back if'n she wants ta see it 'fore leavin'."
"Guess I should. Kinda shape she's in she could prob'bly run down there 'n back in no time at all 'fore she heads off tomorrow mornin'."
"Ya lookin' at women now? I got somethin' ta worry 'bout?"
"No I ain't lookin' at women. She jus' told me 'bout all the hikin' she's been doin. Only' got eyes fer you, dumbass."
"So ya told her 'bout us too?"
"Nope... couldn' hardly get a word in edgwise... Or I woulda. I'll try again when I go tell her 'bout tha' ruin. 'Course don' know if'n I wanna disappoint her 'n all..."
"'M sure she'll be crushed but she'll prob'bly manage ta get over it somehow."
"Hope so. Always feel bad fer them women tha' fall fer me."
"Ya tell tha' fella from Colorado?"
"Yep. Worked it inta the conversation by sayin' my pardner Ed is currently sacked out in the shade under a tree."
"And?"
"Gotta admit... did see his eyelashes bat some. Stiffened up some too. But seemed ta relax when he realized I weren't gonna make a play fer him. Stayed a lot friendlier than I 'xpected him to. Thought he migh' be one a them bible thumpers. Do ya remember tha' wrong turn in tha' one canyon we came close ta makin' a few years back?"
"Ain't likely ta ferget tha'. Weren't a good day all 'round. Didn' even find one ruin neither."
"Turns out he's been ta tha' same canyon. Found some a them ruins, but he didn' find 'em all. Ended up doin' the same thing we did. Only he went up the wrong canyon where we picked the righ' one. He walked clear up it 'til it dead-ended. Had him real worried fer a while.
"He were lucky tha' wrong canyon dead-ended 'stead a splittin' off more. We shoulda built a cairn or arrow outta rocks ta point the way when we were there. Jus' figured it were only us bein' stupid."
"Yeah, but we weren't even sure we were headed in the righ' direction fer a while. Anyways... after he knew 'bout you bein' ma partner 'n all, he still told me tha' story 'n told me how ta find some a them ruins in tha' canyon tha' we missed. So I guess it didn' bother him too much."
"Shit. Think I woulda preferred tha' he took more of a dislike' ta ya."
"Now why wouldya say somethin' like tha'?"
"'Cause now you'll jus' be draggin' me back ta tha' canyon sometime, wontcha?"
"Prob'bly."
"So... is there anybody in this campground ya didn' make friends with?"
"Yeah... Them folks tha' are in RVs. 'Course tha' migh' be because they never seem ta come outside... 'lessen it's ta adjust their satellite dishes."
"How d'ya do it, Hank? How d' ya talk ta all them folks so easy-like?"
"Dunno... I guess I... Maybe I jus' got one a them faces tha' makes folks talk. Though it ain't like it ever had tha' effect on you. Least-wise not fer the first thirty-odd years. So's it mus' not be tha'."
"Maybe it jus' took a l'il longer ta work with me."
"'N jus'... the way we live... I don' get ta talk ta folks a lot. Not complainin', mind ya, but... I kinda look forward ta tha'... ta meetin' folks... when we go campin' 'n meanderin' 'round."
"Ya didn' never used ta tell folks we met 'bout us... Don' rightly know how I feel 'bout tha'..."
"Figured you outin' us ta them neighbors give me the green light ta go ahead 'n try it out with some other folks. 'N once I started, 'n it went okay, well... it got a l'il easier each time. 'N now... gotta tell ya... now I feel like I cain't stop. I wanna go up ta all them RVs 'n knock on the door 'n tell 'em 'm Hank 'n tha's Ed over yonder 'n we're ta gether. I wanna go ta the edge a tha' canyon in yell down inta it tha' this here is Ed 'n he's all mine. I wanna..."
"Think I created a monster..."
"Yep..."
"Well... d'ya think ya can hold off on your next outin'-us rampage 'til after dinner? 'M real hungry."
"Sure, Ed. Ya wanna cook it or clean it up?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Finished cleanin' up from supper. 'Ya 'bout ready ta head over ta their campsite?"
"Sure, Ed... Jus' lookin' at some a the pictures I took ta day."
"Lemme see."
"Jeez... Hank... I shoulda known... Ya really do got a one-track mind, dontcha?"
"Don' have no idea wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed"
"Ya don', huh?"
"Nope. Think maybe yer sufferin' from one a them over-active imaginations."
"Yeah? Think it's more like yer sufferin' from an over-active somethin' yer self."
"Maybe yer righ'. Maybe I should see someone 'bout it. Migh' be able ta cure me."
"Dontcha dare. Like ya jus' the way ya are."
A few days later....
"Well... Got everythin' packed up... Guess it's 'bout time we headed home. I sure had a good time. Did you, Ed?"
"Yeah, Hank. I had a real good time. Thanks fer makin' me take a vacation. If'n we'd stayed at home prob'bly jus' woulda been mopin' 'round 'cause I couldn' see Iris."
"Think we gotta do this more often."
"Yeah... think maybe we should too. Hey, Hank?"
"Yeah, Ed?"
"I... uh... I made ya somethin'..."
"Wha'?"
"'S over there..."
"Don' know wha' yer talkin' 'bout, Ed."
"Look down... At the tent pad."
"Yer kiddin'? Ya did tha' fer me? Shit. Thanks, Ed. It's real nice."
"Woulda made it bigger, but the shadows were comin' fast. 'N were gonna use our real names... but since yers was from Hank ta Ed figured I'd use them names too. Mine's jus' a l'il late. More'n a l'il, I guess... Almos' six weeks late."
"More like thirty-odd years late... but who's countin'?"
"Guess you are."
"Don' know if'n I have the heart ta erase it though. No pun intended. Think yer gonna have ta do it."
"'Don' wanna erase it."
"Ya don'...? Thought ya wouldn' wanna leave it..."
"Think from now on, whenever we go campin', we should maybe leave somethin' like tha' behind. Know it won' last, 'specially bein' on the tent pad like tha'... guess I shoulda picked a diff'rent spot... but at least it'll be there fer a l'il while. Jus' kinda like leavin' our mark on the world... temporary-like."
"Like tha' idea Ed. Like it a whole lot."
Time to head home.
And this time home is into the sunset.
---
"Don' remember tha' sunset, Hank."
"Ain't from this trip. From last fall..."
"Ain't tha' cheatin'?"
"Maybe. But I missed gettin' a picture a the sunset on the way home
'cause ya got hungry 'n wanted ta stop 'n eat."
"Fella's gotta eat."
"Never said ya didn'. Just 'xplainin' why."
"Tha' place had good pie. Not real good. But good."
"Yep."
"Tha' sunset picture turned out real nice. But..."
"Wha'?"
"Ain't tha' lookin' north from...?"
"Yeah, it is."
"So... the picture weren't really taken headin' inta the sunset, like ya said."
"No... but we were headin' west when we came home from campin'."
"Not the whole way. Started out headin' northwest, then went north,
then headed west, then south fer a piece. I think."
"Sure we didn' never head east?"
"Don' think so. But with them roads... 's poss'ble, I guess...
Ya wan' me ta get the map?"
"Tha's okay. I'll take yer word fer it."
---
Happy trails, y'all.
(No matter what direction you're headed...)
---
later...
"Wha' the hell are ya doin', Hank?"
"Think 'm doin' the Swim righ' now. Was lookin' fer a song tha' went with all them signs in ma post. Came 'cross this video. Cain't seem ta watch it withou' dancin'."
"Yer jus' a big ol' kid, ain't ya?"
"Yep. You should try it sometime."
"Bet ya don' even think I can... Lemme get these boots off... they weigh a fella down..."
"Close yer mouth, Hank... bee's liable ta fly in 'n sting ya."
"Jus'... Didn' figure... Ain't 'xactly the kind a dancin'... I mean..."
"Tryin' ta spit somethin' out there, Hank?"
"How...?"
"Wha' kinda daddy would I a been if'n I didn' dance ta all the latest music with my l'il girl when she wanted ta? Now... Ya wanna talk? Or ya wanna dance with me?"
"...Dance with ya. Definitely dance with ya."
"Hey Ed?"
"Yeah, Hank?"
"Ya s'pose the folks readin' this would wanna dance too?"
"Dunno... Maybe..."
"I'll give 'em the link jus' in case they'd like ta join in. The more the merrier when it comes ta dancin'... least-wise like this."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzTcztL_yQk
"Think maybe yer bein' a l'il optimistic 'bout the number a folks readin' this?"
"Maybe."