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Road Trippin' with Ed and Hank (13)
Siesta...
Btw: Ed and Hank are now back on the ranch, but Road Trippin' has always lagged behind real time, so Hank will continue writing about the highlights of the rest of their trip as he has been. Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. $$: Nope. Comments: Always appreciated.
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
Siesta...
"Why ya turnin' 'round, Hank...?"
"I wanna go back 'n take a picture a tha' motel sign..."
"Why...? Which one...?"
"Tha' one..."
"Ain't tha' the name a the motel in...?"
"Yep. Hey, Ed...
Remember tha' place we stayed at
after them years apart?"
"Ain't like I could ferget."
"Tha' were some night."
"Yeah... Damn...
We were lucky tha' place had cinder block walls.
Prob'bly woulda been strung up the next day otherwise
wha' with all them cowboys in town
fer tha' rodeo."
"Way all them cowboys drank? Doubt they woulda heard a thing.
Hell... Betcha anythin' some a 'em were prob'bly doin'
the same thing we were anyways."
"Yeah... righ'..."
"Ya don' believe me, huh? Tell ya...
Some a them tha' were the most vocal 'bout hatin folks like us
were the same ones whisperin' at my door
in the middle a the night...
...So ta speak..."
"Didya...?
...Uh... Nevermind..."
"No I didn'.
I stayed 'way from them types...
Sure... anyone who were queer then had ta hide it from folks...
Still do in a lotta places... But it seemed like them kind woulda been
the first ta put a big ol' noose 'round my neck
if'n the wrong ones had found
out 'bout me..."
"Shit..."
"Them fellas hated themselves
somethin' fierce. 'Sides... Jus' wanted ta find another you...
'n none a them kinda guys were nothin' like you.
Weren't no one like you."
"Not like me, huh...?
Ya real sure 'bout tha'?"
"Yeah. I am.
Know ya hated yer self.
You were full-up-ta-the-brim with it.
But them guys didn' just hate themselves.
They hated everyone else tha' was like us too.
You didn' never go spreadin' it 'round. Makin' it worse.
'N ya may have hated yer self fer lovin' me.
But ya never hated me fer it.
'N ya never blamed me
neither."
"Mighta cursed ya a few times...
Not ta yer face a course... Cursed tha' I ever laid eyes on ya...
Cursed myself fer ever layin' a hand on ya.
Cursed ya fer bein' so damn...
...I dunno..."
"Cursed me up 'n down, did ya?"
"Yep. Did a lotta cursin' back then.
'Course took most a it back...
by 'n by..."
"Most a it?"
"...Uh... Hank...?"
"Yeah, Ed?"
"Can I ask ya somethin'...?"
"'Ya know you can ask me anythin'..."
"How come...
How come it took ya three years...?
Ya started sendin' me all them postcards after tha' first year...
But ya never asked me ta meet ya nowheres...
I woulda ya know... I couldna
stayed 'way..."
"I dunno...
Hell... Tha' first year...
I didn' think ya wanted ta see me...
'N yer the one wouldn' talk ta me 'bout it none
tha' last week we spent ta gether on our mountain...
Shit... ev'rytime I opened my mouth ta talk
ya'd jus' come at me."
"Guess I did, didn' I?"
"Yeah. Ya did."
"But...
after ya drunk-called me...
'n after I said yer name... 'n ya still wouldn' open
yer dumbass mouth 'n talk ta me... Didn' ya even know then?
Tha's when ya started sendin' all them cards...
Drivin' me crazy..."
"I dunno...
Cain't really 'xplain it...
Think I wrote 'bout it before best I could...
Part a it were seein' yer name in the phonebook...
Mr. 'n Mrs. Respectablehusbandnwife... Part a it were tha'
I were 'fraid when it came righ' down ta it ya wouldn' wanna see me.
'N tha' really woulda been the end a it. Then I'd a know'd tha'
I had ta live withou' ya ferever... 'N I jus' weren't ready
ta know tha'... Hell... thought tha's wha' had
happened... The way ya bolted outta
tha' motel at first..."
"I did kinda bolt, didn' I?"
"Kinda?"
"Okay... More 'n kinda."
"'N... I guess...
I thought... I hoped... I'd get over ya in time.
If'n I jus' gave it more time. Couldn't 'magine tha' I wouldn'.
But I didn'. I tried. But I couldn'."
"Yeah... I tried too, Hank."
"Tha' were some night though, huh?"
"Sure was."
"But even then... I didn' have no idea...
I were so damn happy when I found out ya had the whole week off...
But I still didn' know if'n tha' would be the end a it...
If'n I'd hafta go righ' back ta never
seein' ya again."
"Couldna done tha'...
Not once I found ya again...
Not once I had m' arms 'round ya again..."
"Hey, Ed...
Ya wanna splurge 'n get a motel room tonigh'?
Maybe do wha' we did tha' nigh'...?
Ya know... one a them
re-enactments..."
"Ya know I ain't got no life insurance...
Ain't gonna be worth yer while
ta try 'n kill me..."
"How 'bout we jus' do some a wha' we did?"
"Ya gonna slam me 'gainst the door
like ya did tha' nigh'...?"
"Ya want me ta slam ya 'gainst the door?"
"I dunno...
Shoulder's hurtin' me a little...
Musta slept on it wrong last nigh' or somethin'.
But... guess it'd be okay if'n ya did it kinda gentle like..."
"Guess I could do tha'...
Jus' try it in slow-motion maybe..."
"Ya gonna rip my shirt again...?
I kinda like this shirt..."
"Prob'bly...
Don' hardly see no way 'round it...
Maybe you could change inta a shirt ya don' like as much
'fore we check in 'n all."
"Think maybe I could manage tha'."
"Ya wanna wait 'til later...? Wait 'til it's dark...?
Ya didn' come back 'til after dark
tha' nigh'..."
"We can if'n ya wanna... But...
We don' gotta wait 'til dark... We could jus' pretend it's dark...
Close the curtains 'n all... Seem ta remember tha'
we had the light on all nigh' anyways..."
"Okay...
'N I know it'd be kinda fittin' if'n
we checked in here...
But..."
"Does look a l'il worse fer wear, don' it?"
"Maybe we could look fer somewheres
a l'il nicer...?"
"Yeah...
'N maybe somewheres
with cinder block
walls..."
Later...
"Goddamn..."
"Think I saw Jesus..."
"You jus' sayin' tha'
'cause tha's wha' ya said tha' nigh'?"
"No way. Think... jus' fer a minute there...
think I died 'n went ta heaven
'n saw Jesus his self."
"Ya did, huh?"
"Yep. 'N Jesus said ta me... He said...
'Goddammit, Hank...wha' the hell are ya doin' up here
when yer lucky 'nough ta have Ed in yer bed down there?'
I had ta agree tha' he had a real valid point...
So's here I am... Back on earth...
With you."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
And a few minutes later...
"Hey, Ed...?"
"Yeah...?"
"You still awake...?"
"Nope..."
"Ya know...
Ya didn' hafta disappear on me again
like ya did tha' nigh'...
"Jus' wanted ta keep it authentic-like...
'N it seemed ta work purty well... Ya sure threw me up 'gainst
tha' there door like ya meant it."
"Did mean it.
Didn' hurt ya though, did I...?"
"Nope."
"Musta open 'n closed tha' door a hundred times
lookin' ta see if'n you were there...
wonderin' where the hell
ya went."
"Weren't gone tha' long."
"Where the hell didya go anyways?"
"Drove 'round some... like tha' nigh'...
Thinkin' 'bout ya...Then I veered from the script...
Thought 'bout the rest a tha' night... So's instead a buyin'
all tha' campin' equipment thought I better buy me some vitamins...
Figured I migh' be needin' 'em... 'N I bought a cheap shirt
tha' I didn' particularly care fer."
"Didn' even notice tha' yer shirt were new..."
"Ain't like I had it on too long."
"True 'nough."
"Hey, Hank?"
"Yeah, Ed?"
"I'm... ...uh...
I'm real glad I got ta spend so much
a my life with ya."
"Glad I got ta spend so much a mine
with you too, Ed... But..."
"But, wha...?"
"It ain't 'xactly over yet, dumbass."
"Okay... How 'bout...
Glad I got ta spend so much a my life with ya
up ta 'n includin' ta day anyways. 'N mos' likely includin' tomorrow too.
If'n 'm lucky 'nough ta survive
tonigh', that is..."
"Don' worry Ed...
I'll help ya make it through the night'."
"I jus' bet ya will..."
"So... didya take some...?
Some a them there vitamins ya bought...?"
"Mighta took a couple..."
"Good. Now...
C'mon back here, dumbass, 'n let's see
if'n they're still workin'."
"Hold yer horses, Hank...
Weren't there a shower in between rounds...?"
"Tha's righ'... So's...
ya wanna break with the script again
'n join me?"
"Nah...
I wanna shower first like I did tha' nigh'.
'N I wanna be lyin' here waitin' fer ya when yer done...
'N I wanna watch ya standin' in tha' doorway jus' like ya did then...
Wanna watch ya standin' there lookin' at me...
like... like... I dunno..."
"Like I done found
tha' pot a gold at the end of the rainbow?"
"Nope...
Think tha' were me."
"Like I found my long-lost-one-true-love
'n I weren't never gonna let
him go again?"
"Coulda sworn tha' were me too."
"Like I wanted yer dumb ass so's bad
I couldn' hardly stand it even though we'd already
gone at it... twice?"
"Tha's it.
Think maybe ya can manage
ta look like that again?"
"Yeah...
I think I can. Only..."
"Only, wha'...?"
"'Fraid I cain't manage ta look
near as young as I were tha' nigh'."
"Tha's okay...
Tha' lamp's got a dimmer switch."
"Gee... Thanks..."
"Jus' kiddin', dumbass...
Dontcha dare go dimmin' tha' ligh'.
Wanna be able ta see ya...
real clear-like..."
Two separate showers later...
"Yer s'posed ta stop in the doorway, dumbass..."
"I will... Justa sec..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMW_blycWrc
"Got yer self a soundtrack, huh...?"
"Yep. Sure do...
While you were in the shower
I went out ta the truck 'n got tha' best-of cd Iris sent us.
Thought if'n I couldn' live up ta whatcha remember
this here song migh' help some..."
"Ya don' need no song, Hank... Damn...
Don' move... Stay jus' like tha'...
jus' fer a minute..."
......
"Ed...?"
"...Yeah...?"
"I think...
I think I need ta
come over there now."
"Yeah...
I think I need ya
ta come over here too."
---
"The look of love is in your eyes
The look your smile can't disguise...
The look of love is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard, well it takes my breath away
I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you now that I have found you
Youve got the look of love Its on your face
A look that time can't erase
Be mine tonight
Let this be just the start of so many nights like this
Lets take a lovers vow
and then seal it with a kiss
I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you now that I have found you
Don't ever go Don't ever go
I love you so"
---
And later yet...
"Hey, Ed..."
"Yeah...?"
"Tha' night...
If'n I had left already 'n missed ya...
Gone out ta get drunk 'n all... D'ya think ya woulda
waited fer me ta get back?"
"Yeah.
I woulda waited fer ya."
"...But...
I were purty down...
What if... what if I had brought
some other fella back with me... ya know..."
"Hell... I dunno...
Ya know I hate them 'what if' questions, Hank."
"C'mon, Ed...
Ain't asked ya one in a long time."
"Shit... I dunno, Hank...
Don' know if'n I coulda handled tha'...
Seein' ya with someone else... I prob'bly...
...I prob'bly woulda left..."
"Damn...
Guess tha' were kinda a close call.
Few minutes one way or the other 'n... Shit...
Tha' mighta been it... fer good.
Shit..."
"Ya know... On second thought...
If'n you had come back with some other guy... I think maybe
I woulda gotten outta my truck 'n marched right over ta you 'n him 'n said,
'Hey buddy, tha' there is my fella so's you best be on yer way
if'n ya know wha's good fer ya'."
"Ya don' say?"
"I do say.
'N if'n he wouldna gone on his way
real peacable-like 'n all...
I woulda punched him
'til he did."
"Ya don' say?"
"I do say.
'N then we coulda gone on ta
live happily ever after jus' like we did."
"Eventually."
"Yep. Eventually.
'Course if'n he'd a been better lookin' than you
I mighta punched you 'n lived
happily ever after
with him."
"Ya mighta, huh?"
"Maybe...
Weren't hardly like tha' woulda happened though...
Seein' as I ain't never seen no one
better lookin' than you."
"Is tha' so?"
"Yep... 'N I been lookin' fer
a helluva long time."
"C'mere, dumbass."
---