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Ed and Hank - Road Trippin' (21 part 2)
Part 2 of... On the road again...
(This time not exactly how Ed expected.)
Warning: Not much of anything happens (as usual) Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope. Comments: Always appreciated.
Part 1 of On the road again... is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/44157.html
Everything else is here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
Part 2 of... On the road again...
(This time not exactly how Ed expected.)
"Dammit... I knew I shoulda got ya goin' earlier, Hank...
Traffic's real bad already..."
"Cain't believe them dumbasses are passin' on a curve like tha'...
'S jus' stupid... 'n dangerous..."
"Damn right it is."
"Sure wish I coulda got tha' cow ta turn justa l'il bit more..."
"Cain't say as ya didn' try hard 'nough."
"Well, ya could... but it wouldn' be true."
"Hey... Why the hell are ya turnin' south, Hank?"
"Didn' you say where ta go was up ta me?"
"Yeah... but I didn't mean south...
East would be okay... or west some... or north a l'il maybe..."
"Ain't really headin' south anyways..."
"Well this here truck's pointed south 'n the wheels are turnin'...
Where the hell are we goin'...?"
"We're goin' where the sun keeps shining through the pourin' rain....
Goin' where the weather suits our clothes... bankin' off a the northeast winds...
sailin' on a summer breeze..."
"Wha' the hell are ya talkin' about, Hank...?"
"Jus' some song lyrics goin' through my head...
You know tha' song... dontcha...?"
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HL4WRp_Qk)
"So's... where the hell are ya goin'...?"
"We're goin' skippin' over the ocean like a stone..."
"The ocean...?
Shit. You gotta be kiddin' me..."
"Nope. Got the idea from tha' dumbass lighthouse in town...
Was writin' 'bout it before ya came in ta tell me we were goin' campin'..."
"How 'bout we jus' go where we went last year 'round this time...?
Thought maybe tha's where ya'd wanna head..."
"Nope. I checked the weather...
It's s'posed ta be snowin' 'n rainin' there...
'n that'll make them dirt roads undriveable fer a while...
So's we wouldn' be able ta get ta where we'd wanna go."
"But the ocean's way too far away..."
"I thought so too... 'n the way we went last summer it would be...
but I looked at a map 'n figured this way it ain't much more than 'bout 600 miles...
Shouldn' take us no more 'n a daylight's drive...
like ya wanted..."
"Shit... Ya ain't takin' me ta L.A. are ya...?
I ain't goin' to L.A. Or through L.A. Or even anywheres near L.A."
"Ain't takin' ya to or through or anywheres near L.A."
"Yeah. I bet..."
"We're jus' gonna head southwest fer a while...
then north fer a piece... then west fer a l'il while... then north again...
then west again 'til we run outta land 'n run smack inta a whole buncha water..."
"Shit. But... ain't it gonna be real busy...?"
"Prob'bly. But it was when we were up in Oregon last summer too
'n we still found campin' 'n managed ta get away from folks...
a lot a the time anyways..."
"But... ain't it gonna be cold 'n damp 'n rainy this time a year...?"
"Nope. I checked quick righ' 'fore we left...
Further north looks rainy... but where we're goin' is s'posed ta be real nice...
highs in the sixties 'n lows 'n the forties...
'n sunny all week."
"But..."
"No more 'buts', Ed...
We're goin' ta the damn ocean."
"Shit."
"Ya know damn well you'll be happy as a clam once we get there."
"'N ya know fer sure tha' clams are happy, huh...?"
"'S a well known fact tha' clams are the happiest of all the mollusks."
"Think maybe tha's just one a them old wives tales...
Fer all you know clams migh' not
be happy at all..."
"S' gonna be a long drive..."
"Tha's what I been tryin' ta tell ya, dumbass.
We can still turn 'round..."
"We ain't turnin' 'round."
"S' gonna be a long drive."
hours later...
"Jeez, Hank... Lookit this traffic..."
"It ain't tha' bad, Ed..."
"Knew it was gonna be a lot worse in California than back home...
but I never expected this kinda gridlock..."
"So's how 'bout we switch off drivin' now...?
Ya know I'd be more than willin' ta take over early fer ya..."
"It ain't tha' bad."
Later yet...
"Shit."
"Wha's wrong with ya now, Ed...?"
"Ya ain't makin' me go on some dumbass tour
a some dumbass rich fella's dumbass house... Are ya, dumbass...?"
"No... I ain't gonna make ya go on some dumbass tour
a some dumbass rich fella's dumbass house, dumbass..."
"I jus' bet..."
"Why the hell would I wanna go look at
some dumbass rich fella's dumbass house...?"
"How the hell should I know...?
You wanna do a whole buncha dumbass stuff I jus' don' get sometimes...
Like drivin' six hundred miles ta go campin' on the ocean
when we got perfectly good campin' back home."
"Well I sure as hell don' wanna go look at
some dumbass rich fella's dumbass house."
"Better not."
"Well I don't."
"Good. 'Cause I ain't."
"'Course...
I never even thought 'bout it before...
but ya know... now tha' ya've mentioned it...
it migh' be somethin' ta see..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Jus' kiddin', dumbass... I need ta see the ocean...
not some dumbass rich fella's
dumbass house..."
A few miles later...
"Damn...
Lookit tha' view, Hank..."
"Yeah... Them cattle are real purty, Ed...
But... why dontcha turn yer head this way instead...?"
"Jeez... I gotta admit...
I never even thought 'bout it before last summer...
but tha' there ocean really is somethin'..."
"Yeah. Sure is... Now...
How 'bout we find some campin'...
then see how these here dogs feel 'bout it...?
They ain't never seen more 'n a big puddle or two..."
"So's far as we know anyways..."
later....
"Shit."
"Uh oh."
"Think tha' bird is laughin' at us."
"He ain't laughin' at us, Ed."
and a little while after that...
"Don' worry, Ed... Tha' fella said that it's jus' some beaches tha' don' allow dogs...
not all of 'em... 'N this one prob'bly don't allow 'em on accounta
there's a lotta seals 'round these parts..."
"Seals, huh...?"
"Yeah... elephant seals...
He said one a the main beaches they're at is a few miles up the coast...
'S mostly the young'uns 'round this time a year though...
'n maybe justa few adult males..."
"Elephant seals...?"
"Yeah... Fella said they're called tha' 'cause them big ol' males got big ol' noses
tha' kinda look like an elephant's trunk..."
"How 'bout we go take a look..."
"Sounds good ta me."
"Ya sure them are young'uns...?
They look awful big ta me..."
"Yep. Accordin' ta this sign...
them adult males would be even bigger yet
'n have tha' big ol' nose..."
"Ya see any a them...?"
"There's one...
Sure wish he'd sit up or somethin'..."
later...
"'Xactly how long ya gonna wait fer him ta move, Hank...?"
"I dunno...
He flipped a flipper a l'il while ago...
'N he's bound ta really move sooner or later..."
"My watch stopped... Wha' time is it...?"
"Wha's it matter wha' time it is...?"
"Jus' wanna know is all..."
"Hold on... 'S 'bout..."
"Hey... he jus' moved, Hank...
Put his head up 'n waved 'n grinned at me...
Then he went righ' back ta sleep.
Too bad ya missed it..."
"Yeah... sure he did, dumbass..."
"How 'bout we get goin', Hank...?
He looks settled in fer a real long nap there..."
"Okay... But...
if'n we come back in winter...
there'd be a whole lot more of 'em around...
'n some of 'em might even
be awake..."
"We jus' got here
'n already yer talkin' 'bout comin' back...?"
"Yep."
"Shit."
A few days later...
"Jeez, Hank...
These past few days sure have been real nice..."
"Yeah. It's real purty here."
"Sure is."
"'N nice 'n relaxin'..."
"Even if'n we couldn' get down ta some a them beaches...
Like tha' one with the waterfall..."
"Think tha' one with the waterfall was on accounta it woulda been over-run
if'n they let folks down there..."
"Yeah... We sure had a whole lotta foks keepin' us company
while we were starin' down at it..."
Too bad some a them other beaches were posted private 'n fenced off...
That one sure looked real invitin'..."
"Yeah... it sure did..."
"But least-wise there were other beaches we could get ta...
'n them were real purty too..."
"Even though we had ta pay ta walk on some of 'em..."
"Yer such a cheap ol' bastard."
"I ain't old, Hank."
"Yer such a cheap bastard."
"Damn right I am."
"The heights ain't been botherin' ya too bad...
Have they, Ed...?"
"Only when yer drivin', dumbass..."
"I ain't tha' bad."
"Ya ain't tha' good."
"Ain't drove us off a cliff yet."
"Key word there would be 'yet'... But...
Drivin' this road's a lot easier than drivin' some a them mountain roads...
it's paved 'n it's got two whole lanes... 'n the whole idea is
yer s'posed ta stay in the right one..."
"'N it's got guardrails... 'Course...
They're purty much jus' there ta block the view...
A lot of 'em prob'bly wouldn' stop ya from goin' over the edge...
if'n ya happened ta be headed tha' way..."
"Do me a favor 'n don't head tha' way..."
"I'll do my best... Now...
It was the right side ya said I should stay on...?"
"If'n it ain't too much trouble."
"I'll let ya know if'n it gets ta be a burden."
"Thanks. I appreciate it."
"Ya know, Ed...
I sure have been enjoyin' all them rocks 'n waves...
Some of 'em have been real interestin'...
'n inspirin' too..."
"It don' 'xactly take a whole lot ta inspire you that way..."
"You complainin', Ed...?"
"Bout tha'...? Never."
"Didn' think so."
"'N seein' them dogs get acquainted with tha' there ocean...
Hell... I think that alone were worth the trip..."
"Tha' sure was a sight..."
"Think my side still hurts from laughin' so hard..."
"Didn' know Edthedog was such a coward..."
"He ain't no coward, Hank... he's jus' cautious is all.
'N tha's smarter than throwin' his self full-in 'n then panickin'
like Hankthedog did..."
"Hankthedog weren't panickin'... He were just... uh... he were...
Okay... I guess he were panickin'...
but only fer a minute..."
"Yeah... 'cause tha's how long it took ya
ta go in after him 'n pull him out."
"I weren't pullin' him out... We was jus' playin' some..."
"'N tha' look Edthedog gave ya when ya put tha' leash on him...
Tha' were priceless..."
"Kinda reminded me a the look you give me the first time I tied you up, Ed...
'Course you took to it real well after tha' first shock...
Edthedog still ain't real sure 'bout it."
"Ain't 'xactly the same thing, dumbass."
"Tell ya somethin' though...
the smell a them dogs sure ain't nothin' ta laugh at..."
"Yeah it is."
"Think we need ta look fer some doggie cologne fer 'em..."
"Ya know I cain't stand tha' cologne crap."
"Me neither, Ed...
But it couldn' be no worse than how they smell now."
"Yeah it could."
"Least-wise bein' on them beaches
perked Edthedog up a l'il..."
"Yeah... He didn' seem ta be pinin' quite so's bad fer...
wha' was her name again...?"
"Carmencita."
"All tha' howlin' 'n carryin' on...
Swear he fell heels over head at first sight...
One minute at a stoplight 'n the poor fella's done fer..."
"Kinda like me... ten minutes after meetin' you..."
"Took ya ten whole minutes, huh...?"
"Well... unlike Carmencita...
it took you tha' long ta raise yer head full up
'n look directly at me."
"Guess tha' woulda been right around the time I was done fer too..."
"Coulda fooled me."
"Well... ya migh' not a knowed right off when ya looked at me...
but I was howlin' 'n carryin' on on the inside."
"Hey... Lookit that, Ed... Ain't this where yer boyfriend lives...?
Think he were even the mayor fer a while...
How 'bout we go take a look...?"
"No thanks."
"Jus' be a l'il side trip... 'N maybe we'll spot Clint...
Jeez... them rich folks sure got themselves a real nice sandy beach here...
Bet they hate ta see all the riffraff like us
comin' in ta use it..."
"It's too crowded here, Hank... Let's go..."
"Bet it ain't so's crowded if'n we jus' go a l'il further...
'n get 'way from tha' main street..."
"Don't matter... Let's jus' go..."
"See... Told ya... Ain't near so many folks down here..."
"This just ain't my kinda place..."
"Thought ya liked the beach...?"
"Ain't what I meant, dumbass."
"Hey... look, Ed... There's Clint now..."
"That ain't Clint Eastwood."
"Well... he's gotta be 'round here somewheres...
Maybe that's him in his yard... If'n you wanna go say 'hello'... or somethin'...
You go right ahead... I'll wait right here... Maybe he'll give ya a tour...
of his house... or somethin'..."
"Cut it out, Hank."
"How 'bout tha' fella... Bet that's him..."
"C'mon, Hank...
We're jus' wastin' gas
'n it's gettin' late... we better find campin'...
Cain't imagine there's no kinda campin' 'round here...
Maybe we'd better think 'bout headin' back ta where we was...?
I liked tha' place enough... 'n campin' among them redwoods was real nice...
Couldn' believe we got tha' site neither.... fair amount a elbow room...
even though tha' place were real busy."
"Yeah... we prob'bly got tha' site
'cause ya couldn' tell how nice it was from the road...
Hell... Ya couldn' even see the truck from where we pitched the tent
on accounta tha' one big ol' redwood..."
"I like them trees a whole lot."
"'N I think lots a folks like them sites that're more out in the sunshine...
even if'n they do end up campin' right on top a each other..."
"Seem ta recall you endin' up on top a me more than once..."
"That a problem for ya, Ed...?"
"Only if'n you were ta end up on top a someone else."
"Yer always my first choice."
"'Preciate it."
"I even wrote down tha' site number...
Just in case we ever find ourselves back there...
we could reserve it ahead a time..."
"Just in case we find ourselves back there...?
Ya mean like we migh' take a wrong turn sometime...
'n next thing ya know... we're back there... jus' by chance 'n all...
but lucky fer us you jus' happen to have made
reservations ahead a time...?"
"Somethin' like tha'...
"Ya know, Ed... I was thinkin'... fer tonight...
maybe we could stay in Monterey..."
"Monterey...? Hell... This is s'posed ta be a campin' trip...
'Sides... no way could we afford Monterey..."
"Think maybe we can...
Prob'bly ain't no way we'd get tha' site back anyways...
'N tha' woman I were talkin' to told me you can camp in a city park
smack dab in the middle a Monterey... on a big ol' hill...
fer $25 a night... only five dollars more
than them state parks charge...
'n with free showers..."
"You sure she weren't pullin' yer leg...?"
"How 'bout we go find out...?"
"How 'bout we don't."
After a few wrong turns...
"Think it's this way..."
"Didn' we already come 'round this way once...?"
"Hell if I know..."
"Would help if'n we had a better map..."
"Sure as hell wouldn' hurt..."
"Think tha' woman was definitely pullin' yer leg..."
"Nah... It's gotta be up here somewheres..."
"Maybe we better start headin' back
ta that other campground..."
"There... It mus' be thata way..."
"Guess she weren't pullin' yer leg after all..."
"Here it is..."
"Shit... This ain't gonna set ya off again... is it...?
We came ta get 'way from all tha'... fer a l'il while anyways..."
"I know... 'n I been doin' my best, Ed...
But there's a helluva lotta folks tha' cain't never get 'way from it...
'N it's awful hard not ta think 'bout all the folks tha' this here park is memorializin'
that it shouldn' have ta be... 'n all them other folks...
tha' won't never be memorialized..."
"Yeah... I know, Hank...
C'mon... How 'bout we find us a site...
'n then go find somewheres ta watch the sun set
'n then maybe after tha' go roam 'round town some...?"
"You... wanna roam 'round a town...?
Withou' me twistin' yer arm...?"
"We ain't eaten out once yet...
So's... How 'bout you find some folks tha' live here
'n ask 'em where there's some good, cheap food to be had."
"Ya wan' me ta find ya some good, cheap food...
in Monterey...?"
"Yep. 'Course... if'n ya don' think ya can..."
"Bet I can."
"Ya wanna bet the usual...?"
"Yep."
"'S a bet then."
"Hey, Ed... D'ya wanna make another bet as to
whether we'll ever find our way back up here in the dark...?"
"Nope."
Later...
"C'mere, Ed...
Gettin' the urge ta collect on tha' bet..."
"Sorry, Hank... Know ya won 'n all...
But I think 'm gonna hafta give ya a raincheck... Them tacos were real good...
But they're givin' me some real bad heartburn..."
"You take somethin' fer it...?"
"Yep... belch...
but it ain't workin' yet..."
"You take it easy, Ed...
I'll jus' take the dogs fer a walk 'round the campground
'n leave ya be fer a l'il while."
"Thanks, Hank."
The next morning...
"Mornin', Ed... Damn... tha' was the best shower I've had in a while...
No quarters needed 'n plenty a real hot water...
not jus' barely lukewarm..."
"So's... I guess you musta found yerself a friend last nigh'...
Wha' the hell time didya fin'lly get back, Hank...?"
"Not late... 'Bout twelve I think...
Came back a lot earlier ta invite ya ta join us...
but you were already sacked out 'n I didn' wanna wake ya up...
S'prised you could sleep so sound... bein' right above tha' Presidio...
this sure ain't the quietest campground we ever been ta...
Mus' be a lotta young folks with strong lungs 'n
lotsa energy real nearby..."
"Didn' bother me none.
Sure hope it didn' disturb you 'n yer friend..."
"C'mon, Ed...
Push tha' nose a yers back inta joint 'n go get yerself a shower...
We gotta get goin'..."
"Wha's the hurry, dumbass...?"
"Met this real nice couple last nigh'...
He's in the fire service 'n he's here in Monterey fer trainin'...
They been campin' here a few nights but now they're movin' to a vacation rental...
They're gonna watch Edthedog 'n Hankthedog fer us so's we can go ta Point Lobos...
Remember tha' place we stopped yesterday tha' didn' allow no dogs in...?
Kinda ironic... considerin' its name 'n all..."
"But..."
"Jim 'n Laura, tha's their names...
Said we shouldn' miss it... So's Laura offered ta look after Edthedog 'n Hankthedog
'cause she's lookin' after their dog anyways, 'Pete' his name is.
'N them dogs all hit it off real good ta gether...
'n their rental's got a fenced yard..."
"Hold up fer a minute, Hank...
We cain't jus' give Edthedog 'n Hankthedog over ta total strangers..."
"They ain't strangers...
I told ya... their names are Jim 'n Laura...
He's from Oregon 'n she's from California but they live near Reno now...
They met when they was both workin' fer the forest service...
They got one boy... from her first marriage...
he's in college now... 'n..."
"Bet you were talkin' politics... weren't ya...?"
"Politics... Shit... if only...
Think we need a whole diff'rent word fer it..."
"Ya were... weren't ya...?"
"Weren't my fault... I didn' bring it up... They did..."
"Still don' like the idea a leavin' them dogs with someone else...
Liable ta make 'em real nervous..."
"They'll be fine, Ed...
Hell... It might even be good fer 'em...
knowin' if'n we leave 'em we'll come back fer 'em...
'N they like Pete a whole lot..."
"I dunno..."
"Least-wise come 'n meet 'em, Ed...
Then if'n yer still not comfortable leavin' 'em we won' do it...
I'll leave it up ta you..."
"Do they...? Didya...? Didya tell 'em 'bout us...?"
"Yep. Told 'em all the gory details...
'N they told me that even though we'd be goin' ta hell 'n all...
they'd still watch them dogs fer us ta day..."
"Cut it out, Hank..."
"'Course I told 'em tha' yer my pardner, dumbass...
'N it turns out their son is gay... 'n he had a real hard time in high school...
but he's doin' a whole lot better now that he's in college...
'n they're real glad ta see him happier..."
"Guess it wouldn' hurt fer me ta meet 'em..."
"Prob'bly not too much anyways..."
Later...
"This is real purty, Hank...
I'm sure glad we didn' miss it..."
"Yeah... me too, Ed...
Tha' was righ' nice a Jim 'n Laura ta watch them dogs fer us
so's we could spend the day here..."
"Sure was nice a them... Tell ya...
I ain't never seen nothin' like all tha' orange stuff...
algae or whatever they call it... tha' was growin' on them trees..."
"Me neither... Tha' was somethin'...
'N I cain't believe we had tha' l'il beach
ta ourselves fer so long..."
"Guess it pays ta get up early...
Sure was a whole lotta folks comin' down to it
by the time we was leavin'..."
"If'n tha' tide hadna been so high
I woulda drug ya inta one a them alcoves
'n stolen a kiss or two..."
"'N I prob'bly woulda let ya."
"Jus' don't think my pictures are really gonna do this place justice..."
"Didya ask tha' fella if'n it were okay with him
ta take a picture a his picture...?"
"'Course I did... 'n he were real nice 'bout it...
'n I wouldna done it at all if'n he hadn' a been takin' a break...
Even told him I migh' post it with our story...
He said fine so's long as we didn't
make no money off a it..."
"Ain't no danger a tha' happenin'..."
"Tha's what I told him...
"Ya know, Ed... a lot a this park is under the ocean...
Be a whole lot more we could see if'n we'd learn ta scuba dive..."
"Shit. Yer gonna get us killed sooner or later... aintcha...?"
"I ain't gonna get us killed, Ed."
"Yeah... I'll be like... 'Hey there, God'...
'n he'll say 'Wha' the hell are you doin' up here so soon, Ed...?'
'n I'll say 'Damned if I know... last thing I remember
is Hank tellin' me that he weren't gonna
get me killed'..."
"'Up here', huh...?
Least-wise I know wha' direction
you think yer goin'..."
"Yeah... sure is gonna be awful quiet
withou' you around."
"Betcha anythin' ya get bored 'n join me in hell
after a week or two..."
"Shit... I'll prob'bly be the first dumbass ever
ta put in fer a transfer..."
Later that night...
"Jim sure is a real good cook..."
"Still thought we shoulda took him 'n Laura out ta dinner...
fer watchin' them dogs 'n all..."
"Ya tried ta talk 'em inta it, Hank..."
"We'll hafta send 'em somethin' ta thank 'em...
'N maybe they'll make it ta our neck a the woods next fall...
like they said they were gonna... 'n we can watch Pete fer a few days
while they go ta them national parks near us...
If'n they ain't drillin fer oil in 'em
by then..."
"Them dogs would all like tha'."
"Now if'n only we could get Carmencita ta visit fer Edthedog's sake..."
"'Fraid Edthedog ain't ever gonna see her again..."
"Least-wise I had 'nough time ta find out her name...
'N it was real nice a tha' fella who was with her
ta let me take tha' picture..."
"Sure is a big ol' name fer a l'il bitty dog..."
"So's... do ya think it's true... wha' they say...
That it's better to have loved 'n lost than never ta have loved at all...?"
"'Course it's true, dumbass.
If'n I'd a never seen you again after tha' first summer... Hell...
I woulda been mis'rable... a lot more mis'rable than if'n I'd a never met ya...
but I wouldn' never have wished tha' summer away...
No how... No way..."
"Me neither, Ed... Not fer nothin'.
Even though... I gotta admit... After tha' summer...
when I thought I'd lost ya... I sure tried my best ta ferget ya..."
"Yeah... I guess I tried real hard ta ferget you too, Hank...
'Course... tha' weren't 'xactly possible once ya started sendin' me
all them dumbass postcards from ev'rywheres ya went..."
"Can see how tha' wouldna helped."
"Not that I woulda been able ta anyways..."
"Me neither, Ed."
"Sure am glad I found ya again though..."
"Yeah... 'Cept I think it were me tha' found you..."
"Sure as hell took yer sweet time 'bout it, dumbass."
"Hey... Yer the one who went 'n got his self hitched, dumbass..."
"Ya know damn well that I had ta...
Wha' with Nora bein' pregnant... Things were real diff'rent back then...
'Sides... I sure as hell don't regret Iris..."
"I do know damn well tha' ya had ta...
'n I know things were diff'rent back then... I was jus' kiddin' around, Ed...
'n I sure didn' mean ta run yer train off the tracks..."
"'S okay, Hank."
"Ya know I love Iris too, dontcha...?"
"Yeah. I know."
"Still cain't help feelin' bad fer Edthedog..."
"Yeah... he never even got properly introduced ta Carmencita
'fore tha' light changed 'n she was gone..."
"Don't think it really woulda worked out too good anyways...
Technic'lly speakin'... I mean..."
"They'd prob'bly a managed ta work somethin' out..."
"Guess they woulda... Hey, Ed...?"
"Yeah...?"
"I been meanin' ta thank ya..."
"Fer wha'...?"
"I know this weren't 'xactly whatcha had in mind...
fer our campin' trip... Comin' this far 'n all..."
"'S okay, Hank... Much as I hate ta admit it...
I been havin' a real good time..."
"Glad yer havin' a good time."
"In fact... Ya might even say
that I'm as happy as one a them clams."
"'N ya know fer certain tha' clams are happy, huh...?"
"Cain't speak fer all clams a course... Tha' jus' wouldn' be righ'...
But... the particular clam I'm as happy as
is gen'rally purty damn happy..."
"Gen'rally, huh...?"
"Yep. 'Course...
a fella could always be a l'il happier..."
"You got somethin' in mind...?
It kinda sounds like ya got somethin' in mind..."
"'S more like... wha' do you got in mind...
'cause yer the one that won tha' bet yesterday... So's...
whaddya want, Hank...?"
"I jus' want you, Ed... Ev'ry which way I can."
"Tha' migh' take a while..."
"You got some kinda pressin' engagement...?"
"Hold on a sec...
Lemme check m' social calender...
Looks like I got a hot date with Clint Eastwood later...
But I think maybe I got 'nough time ta fit ya in...
if'n ya don't dawdle..."
"Dammit...
dawdlin's my fav'rite part..."
"Well... Guess you could do a l'il dawdlin..."
"Thanks, Ed...
I'll try 'n be quick about it."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
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