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Ed and Hank
Hello old friend… It’s really good to see you once again…
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all earlier posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
Hello old friend... it's really good to see you once again...
Slam
“Careful ya don’t slam one a them dog’s tails in tha’ door, dumbass.”
“Dammit...”
“Wha’s wrong now, Ed…?”
“I just got off the phone with Iris… She broke her leg…”
“Damn... Is she okay…? What happened…?”
“No she ain’t okay. She’s got a broken leg.”
“Ya know what I mean, dumbass… Is it a bad break…?”
“Well it sure as hell ain’t a good break… She ain’t in the hospital… But it’s bad enough tha’ she cain’t make it here fer Christmas… Dammit.”
“Maybe we should jus’ go there for Christmas… ya know… help her out ‘n all…”
“Nora beat us to it. She’s headin’ there now… A friend of Iris’ is stayin’ with her ‘til Nora gets there… Dammit.”
“I guess it’d be easier on her ta have her ma helpin’ her out with some things…”
“Yeah... I guess... Dammit... But it was s’posed ta be our Christmas with her… ‘N we missed our last one two years ago on accounta Bill ‘n me gettin’ sick… So’s Nora’s got ta see Iris three years ‘n a row at Christmas… Well we’re gettin’ next Christmas with her no ifs ands or buts…”
“Hey… Maybe we could go anyways…?”
“You ‘n Nora… ‘n the same vicinity…?”
“I think I could do it…”
“Fer a week or more…?”
“Or maybe we could go after Nora leaves… Or Iris could come here when her leg’s better…”
“Yeah...”
“Or… you could jus’ go by yerself, Ed… You ‘n Nora get along okay… gen’rally anyways…”
“Nah… Let’s jus' wait ‘n go together... Or hope Iris can come here after.”
“Tha’s fine by me. So’s… How’d it happen, Ed…? Iris breakin’ her leg…”
“’S all tha’ Daley fella’s fault.”
“The mayor of Chicago broke Iris’ leg…? You sure it weren’t the governor… Blagojevitch… or whatever the hell his name is…? Tha’d seem more likely…”
“Nope. It was the mayor. ‘N he didn’t break it personally… but he might as well have… It seems the city don’t have no money… Even with them sky-high property taxes Iris pays… so's the mayor cut way back on plowin' the streets... which ya wouldn’t think he’d do ‘cause years back Iris said not plowin’ was enough ta get another mayor booted out on his ass…”
“Yer kiddin’…? When was tha’…?”
“She said she thought tha’ was about eight or nine years before she moved there… But… this year Daley cut way back on it… ‘N Iris said she was drivin’… jus’ barely crawlin’ along ‘cause the street she was on was so bad from not ever bein’ plowed after the previous couple a snowstorms… ‘n she hit a patch of ice ‘n couldn’t stop ‘n the fella ahead a her did the same… ‘n he slid out inta the intersection ‘n got hit… but she managed ta hit a parked car instead…”
“Jeez…”
“She said she’s jus’ lucky she didn’t get hit from behind too… 'N she said the folks in the other accident were okay 'cause ev'rybody was goin' real slow… ‘n she didn’t get hurt hittin’ tha’ parked car neither… tha’ was justa fender bender… it was when she got out ta check on them other folks ‘n the damage ta her car ‘n ta the parked car tha’ she slipped on the ice ‘n fell ‘n broke her leg…”
“Jeez…”
“Luckily folks walkin’ by stopped ta help her right away ‘n called 911 when they saw she was hurt."
“Tha’s good.”
“I was really lookin’ forward ta seein’ her though… It's been months since she were last here...”
“Yeah, I was lookin' forward ta seein her too, Ed.”
“Dammit.”
“Hey… I put the tree up today… How ‘bout ya help me decorate it…?”
“I don’t feel like it.”
“C’mon, Ed…”
“I ain’t in the mood, Hank…”
“We can start a fire… ‘n put on some dumb Christmas music… ‘n have us a drink or two…”
“I dunno…”
“C’mon, Ed… I’m gonna do it anyways… so’s ya might as well lend a hand…”
“I guess. But I ain’t gonna enjoy it…”
“Yeah ya will.”
“Wait a minute… I just remembered somethin’…”
“Wha’…?”
“I’ll be righ’ back.”
A minute later…
“I wanna put this on the tree…”
“Where’d ya get that, Ed…?”
“My grandma… A whole lotta years ago now…”
“You ain’t ever talked about havin’ a grandma...”
“I didn’t see her but a few times… Least-wise that I remember… ‘n she died when I weren’t no more than five or six… But the times I did see her she was real nice ta me… She brought me ‘n Ruth cookies… ‘n pie… stuff we woudn’ get otherwise… ‘N she’d bring books ta read ta us ‘n she’d sing us songs… ‘N one time… the last time we saw her… it was Thanksgivin’ I think… we made a whole buncha these toy soldiers together outta clothespins… Well… she did most of it… but I did a little a the paintin’… ‘n I sprinkled tha’ sparkly stuff on ‘em after she put the glue on… ‘N then she ‘n Ruth made a bunch of ‘em tha’ looked like ballerinas with some kinda nettin’ fer their skirts…"
"Tha' sounds real nice..."
"It was... But… this fella ended up bein' the sole survivor…”
“Whaddya mean…?”
“My pa… Let’s jus’ say Jesus’ birthday weren’t a whole lotta fun around our place… Ya know we didn’t have no tree or no Christmas presents or nothin’ like that… But my grandma… I don’t know if she didn’t know that ‘n my folks jus’ never said nothin’ ta her about it… or if she jus’ didn’t pay no mind ta my pa ‘n all his crazy rules when she was there…”
“But ya had some toys… Didn’t ya…?”
“Ruth had one doll… ‘N I didn’t have much a anythin’… But I got ta be outside more than Ruth did… ‘N I loved bein’ outside… I’d hang out with the horses whenever I could… or wander as far as I figured wouldn’ get me inta too much trouble… Tha’ was enough fer me…”
“It still is.”
“Yeah… Except now I don’t mind comin’ inside so much…”
“Not so much, huh…?”
“Nope. I kinda look forward to it even.”
“Ya do, huh…?”
“Yep. I like ta eat… 'n watch a l'il TV maybe... 'course there ain't usually anythin' good on... ‘N sleep… I like ta sleep… 'N there's nothin' like comin' in fer a nice cold beer after a hard day's work... Or a shot or two a whiskey maybe... Dependin' on wha' kinda day it was..”
“'N that’s it…?”
“’N spendin' some quality time with them dogs ‘n tha’ cat… I look forward ta that... 'N a hot shower after a hard day's work out in the cold... Or a cold shower after a real hot day...”
“'N nothin’ else…?”
“Not tha’ comes ta mind right off the top a my head.”
“You be sure ‘n tell me if'n ya think of anythin’ else.”
“You’ll be the first ta know.”
“So’s… how’d this here soldier end up bein’ the sole survivor…?”
“Well… a couple a days after we made ‘em… right after my grandma left… my pa gathered all them soldiers ‘n ballerinas up ‘n took ‘em outside ‘n threw ‘em out... Burnt ‘em along with some garbage in a big ol’ drum…”
“Damn…”
“But this brave fella here… He made a darin’ escape… he jumped outta my pa’s hands ‘n onto the floor… ‘n I scooped him up real quick-like ‘n hid him good… wrapped him up tight in an old rag so’s he wouldn’ get dirty ‘n tucked him inta this big ol’ crack in the wall in my closet… I stuck him in between the lathe ‘n the plaster tha’ was comin’ away from it…”
“Jeez, Ed…”
“My folks never found him… ‘Course I’d only take him out real rare-like ta look at him… ‘n then I’d hide him back away… But it made me feel better jus’ knowin’ he was there… ‘N as I got older… Well… I guess I jus’ fergot about him… Until this past summer… When we were there… ‘n I was cleanin’ out my old room… I remembered him… ‘n I looked in tha’ closet… ‘n lo ‘n behold… he was still there… lookin’ no worse fer wear after sixty years a bein’ holed up in tha’ wall…”
“How come ya didn’t tell me when ya found him…?”
“I guess it kinda choked me up some… findin’ him still there like tha’… ‘n it seemed kinda stupid that it did…”
“It ain’t stupid, Ed…”
“So’s I jus’ re-wrapped him in some paper ‘n took him ‘n put him in the glove compartment of the truck ‘n went back ta workin’… ‘N then I fergot all about him again… ‘til now… But… once I remembered he was in the truck… I thought he migh’ like ta come outta hidin’ ‘n stand guard over this here tree fer us…”
“Yeah. I bet he’d like tha’… Return the favor… wha’ with you safeguardin’ him all them years…”
“How ‘bout we put him right up near the top…?”
“Tha’s fine by me. How ‘bout you do the honors…?”
“Sure… There we go… He sure looks nice… fin’lly bein’ where he belongs ‘n all…”
“Yep… He sure does… After all them years a hidin’ out in tha’ closet…”
“Are you talkin’ about him or me, dumbass…?”
“Both… ‘Course I’m glad it didn’t take you quite so’s long ta get here.”
“Yeah. I am too.”
“But… I’m sorry about yer grandma, Ed… Tha’ she didn’t live longer…”
“Thanks, Hank… ‘N who knows… things weren’t all tha’ bad yet when she’d come ta visit… It was like the older Ruth ‘n me got the crazier my folks got… but… maybe if’n my grandma had lived longer she woulda noticed wha’ was goin’ on… ‘n helped us out somehow… maybe even got us outta there… if’n she coulda… I like ta think she woulda anyways…”
“Yeah… I bet she woulda… ‘N… I’m glad ya had her in yer life… If even fer justa l’il bit…”
“Yeah… Me too. So’s… how ‘bout ya put on some dumb Christmas music, dumbass…?”
“Sure… Hey… how ‘bout we put on tha’ Pee Wee Christmas special Iris sent us years ago…?"
“I guess it’s my own damn fault fer sayin’ ‘dumb’…”
“It ain’t dumb… Okay… it is dumb… But it’s got k.d. lang ‘n Grace Jones ‘n Charo ‘n the Del Rubio Triplets… Hell… Wha’ more could ya want in a Christmas show…?”
“I’d like a little less.”
“It’ll be fun.”
“Can I have tha’ drink now…?”
“Sure… I’ll even go 'n get it fer ya…”
“Bring the bottle.”
A few minutes later...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuvjQJ72xHU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BcV4a8Poz8
(Yep. That's Laurence Fishburne.)
And after that…
“Well… Tha' was somethin'… Although I ain't exactly sure what...”
“Dammit… I am such a dumbass sometimes…”
“Yer gonna hafta be more specific, dumbass...”
“Here yer tellin’ me about how bad ya had it as a kid… ‘n I go makin’ ya watch tha’ kinda Christmas show…”
“’S okay, Hank… Tha’ kinda stuff don’t make me think about me bein’ a kid… it makes me think about when Iris was little… Hell… Nora ‘n I spoiled tha’ girl as best we could… especially at Christmas… ‘N it makes me think of all the times you ‘n me ‘n Iris watched it together since she gave it to us… with you ‘n Iris carryin’ on like a couple a big ol’ kids…”
“We never could talk ya inta bein’ the third Del Rubio triplet.”
“N ya never will.”
“Never say never.”
“Damn…I sure wish Iris was gonna be here..."
“Yeah. I know, Ed... But… we’ll go see her as soon as we can… or vice versa… ‘n we can have Christmas fer her all over again… Hell… We don’t celebrate it religious-like anyways… so’s the date don’t matter none…”
“I guess there ain’t no reason we can’t celebrate Christmas with Iris whenever we see her…”
“’N… I know we don’t give each other gifts… other than them shirts on New Year’s… ‘cause yer a real nut-job about it… but… I got somethin’ fer ya, Ed…”
“Dammit, Hank…”
“’N it ain’t Christmas yet… so’s it ain’t really a Christmas gift… ‘N I was gonna save it fer New Year’s… but ya might as well open it now…”
“Dammit, Hank…”
“I’ll be righ’ back with it…”
“Dammit, Hank…”
A minute later…
“Dammit, Hank…”
“Just open it, dumbass…”
RIP…
“It’s real nice, Hank… I don’t know wha’ ta say…”
“Ya don’t gotta say nothin’, Ed… I know I never coulda topped whatcha did fer me last year… Cleanin’ out ‘n lightin’ up our old trailer fer us… But I wanted ta do somethin’… ‘n I been thinkin’ ‘n thinkin’ but I couldn’ think a what… ‘n then I remembered I took some pictures of tha’ trailer all lit up ‘cause I wanted ta post ‘em with our story last year, but you bitched too much about it ‘cause apparently they fell under tha’ ‘too close ta home’ clause a yers regardin’ picture postin’… ‘n so I went back ‘n looked through ‘em ‘n picked out the best of the lot ta blow-up real big ‘n then I put it in this ol' frame fer ya…”
“How the hell didya get tha’ camera a yers ta take such a good picture of it…? At night ‘n all…?”
“I lucked out… it was a real bright night… Clear as a bell with a full moon ‘n lots a stars… ‘n then I used a fence-post as a makeshift tri-pod ta hold the camera real still… ‘N the fresh snowfall… well tha’ was jus' lucky too…”
“Thanks, Hank… I… uh… It’s real nice… Real nice… I like it a whole lot.”
“Where d’ya wanna hang it…?”
“I dunno… Either down here… Or up in our bedroom… so’s we can see it from bed… Maybe in here… ‘cause we got our eyes open more often when we’re down here… Or maybe upstairs would be better… Seein’ it first thing in the mornin’ ‘n last thing at night… But I’m usually getting’ up in the dark in the mornin’… Hell… I dunno…”
“Well… ya don’t gotta decide this minute…”
“But… Now I feel real bad… ‘cause I don’t got nothin’ fer you…”
“Wha’ you did fer me last year by fixin’ up tha’ trailer... well tha’ was gift enough fer a lifetime of Christmases… past, present ‘n future… ‘n goin’ ta tha’ protest with me… ‘n all the other stuff ya’ve done… Hell… Just you bein’ here… where ya belong… Tha’s gift enough fer me… Ya don’t gotta give me nothin’ more, Ed… Except…”
“I knew there had ta be a catch…”
“Hold on a sec… Here…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_D1AzlQUvw
"Who is tha'...?"
"Guess."
"She sounds real familiar..."
"Yeah. You should know her..."
“Is tha' Lee Ann Rimes…?”
“Yep.”
“Finally… Some country music fer a change…”
“Yep. Happy whatever it is we celebrate, Ed...”
“’N all you want fer Christmas is me, huh…?”
“Yep.”
“You always were a cheap date.”
“’N easy... Don’t ferget easy...”
"Cheap 'n easy, huh...?"
"Yep... Real easy..."
“Hey, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"I just thought of one more reason I look forward ta comin' inta the house..."
"'N wha' migh' tha' be...? Readin' yer fav'rite magazine...? Or listenin' ta the radio...? Or playin' Parcheesi...? Or..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
later…
“Tha’ fire could use a couple more logs.”
“It sure could.”
“Yep. It sure could.”
“Don’t look at me.”
“C’mon, Ed… I’m too comfortable ta move.”
“Me too.”
“Too bad them dogs or tha’ cat don’t have opposable thumbs.”
“They look too comfortable ta move too… Besides… Iristhecat is too little… ‘n them dumbass dogs would prob’bly just burn their paws…”
“True ‘nough.”
“I sure am glad Iristhecat fin’lly started comin’ inta the house…”
“Yeah. I am too.”
“I love yer lazy ass, Hank.”
“I love yer lazy ass too, Ed.”
“I ain’t gen’rally lazy…”
“Well then I love yer not-gen’rally-lazy-but-just-at-this-particular-moment-in-time-too-lazy-to-get-up-‘n-throw-another-log-on-the-fire ass, Ed…”
“If you got the energy ta say all tha’ you got the energy ta go ‘n put another log on the fire…”
“No I don’t.”
“Well neither do I.”
“Maybe I can pull tha’ chair over with my foot ‘n we can break it apart ‘n pitch it inta the fireplace from here…?”
“If you got the energy ta do all tha’ you got the energy ta get up ‘n put another log on the fire.”
“No I don’t.”
“Well I don’t neither.”
“Maybe I can get one a the dogs ta fetch me my phone ‘n then I’ll call the fire department ‘n tell ‘em we need ‘em ta rush out here ‘n re-start this here fire fer us…”
“Fine. I’ll do it…”
“You gave in purty quick this time…”
“Yeah… Well someday I won’t…”
“Ya wanna bet…?”
“Nope.”
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