(no subject)
Ed and Hank
New Year's Day (morning, afternoon and night)...
Memory Jog: Ed and Hank have a New Year's Eve tradition of switching their two old shirts around in the closet at midnight and then exchanging new shirts... which they didn't do this year because they were too lazy to get up. Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
New Year's Day...
"Thanks, Ed… I like my shirt a whole lot."
"Me too, Hank... I thought fer sure this year ya’d buy me one a them gaudy ones... like you like so much…"
"Maybe next year… But this year I figured you deserved somethin’ dull 'n borin'... just how you like it…"
"'N don't think I don't appreciate it."
"'N I think congratulations are in order too..."
"Fer wha'...?"
"You made it a whole year with tha' ring on yer finger withou' gettin' yer finger ripped clean off even once... I didn't think you could manage it, Ed..."
"'N lookit here... I somehow managed not ta get this particular finger ripped clean off neither..."
"Flippin' me off ain't part of this tradition..."
"It is now."
"I guess tha' means the honeymoon's fin'lly over..."
"Then you'd be guessin' wrong as usual, dumbass."
"But... I gotta tell ya, Ed... I'm real glad ya changed yer mind... about wearin' a ring 'n all..."
"Me too, Hank."
"Wait a sec... I almost forgot... I got ya somethin' else too..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Here..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Ya know somethin', Ed...? I'm real tired of you bitchin' 'n moanin' ev'ry time I buy ya some little thing or another... 'N I'm tellin' ya here 'n now... Cut it the hell out..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"...'cause I'm done not buyin' ya stuff just because you throw a fit ev'ry time I do buy ya stuff..."
"I ain't ever thrown a fit in my life."
"Yeah ya have... They're just a lot quieter than most folks' fits... So... I'm hereby startin' a brand new tradition of randomly buyin' ya stuff whenever the hell I feel like it..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"'N here's whatcha do when I do... You lemme know if'n ya want me ta write it all down for ya fer future ref'rence... 1) ya open the damn bag... 2) pull out what's inside... 3) look at it... 4) say thank you if the spirit moves ya... or don't if it don't... and 5) know I don't expect nothin' in return. Ever. So... here's the damn bag... D'ya think you can manage all tha'...?"
"Shit."
"6) no swearin' neither. It ain't polite."
"I apologize if I've offended yer delicate sensibilities in any way whatsoever."
"Apology accepted. Now open the damn bag, dumbass..."
"How come you get ta swear...?"
"Open the damn bag, Ed..."
"I'm openin' it... I'm openin' it... But... Jeez..."
"Wha' now...?"
"Ya coulda wrapped it."
"'N folks think I'm the annoyin' one... Just open the bag already..."
"...Thanks, Hank... It's a real nice t-shirt... I like it a whole lot... Damn... It looks like tha' fella's headin' home after one helluva hard day's work... Tha' dog don't look wore out though... Tha' seems about righ'..."
"I thought ya migh' like it, Ed..."
"Only..."
"Only what...?"
"Only there should be two dogs... 'n two cowboys..."
"Ya think so, huh...?"
"Yeah... Bill 'n me 'n them two dogs are usually out workin' together..."
"You 'n Bill, huh...?"
"Yep. 'N there should be a little house off in the distance... where yer snoozin' the day away while we're out workin' our asses off..."
"So's how 'bout I get one a them indelible-like markers 'n draw a little house on tha' shirt for ya...?"
"Thanks but no thanks... It's fine just the way it is..."
"Wait a minute... I was jus' kiddin' about the marker... But... I bet I could take a picture of our house 'n then copy it onto one a them iron-on transfers 'n add it to tha' shirt fer ya... I bought some a them a while back... fer makin' myself a gay rights kinda t-shirt fer tha' rally... but I ran outta time 'n never got around ta doin' it..."
"I dunno, Hank... it prob'bly wouldn't end up lookin' right... Even if'n it was a black 'n white picture..."
"Well... I bet I could even mess with the picture some 'n make it look like it belongs on tha' t-shirt by usin' tha' photoshop program Iris sent me a couple of years ago... I'm better with it than I used ta be..."
"Can I okay it before ya do it...?"
"'Course ya can... It's yer shirt so's you got the final say... 'N I can do it all in tha' program before we try it on the shirt..."
"Well then... In tha' case I'm willin' ta let ya give it a try... But I don't want ya ruinin' my shirt..."
"I won't ruin yer shirt."
"Ya better not."
"I love yer gift-hatin' ass, Ed."
"'N I love yer gift-givin' ass, Hank."
"Happy new year, Ed."
"Same ta you, Hank... But... Damn... I cain't believe how fast this one went by... Seems like ev'ry one of 'em goes by twice as fast as the one before..."
"How 'bout we resolve to make this one last twice as long...?"
"'N how exactly do ya figure we can do that...?"
"I dunno... Time goes by slower when yer doin' somethin' ya don't like... So's how 'bout we spend a whole buncha time travelin' this year...? Tha' should slow things down fer ya real good..."
"Nice try, dumbass..."
"No sale, huh...?"
"Well... Maybe we could go campin' close by fer a few days here 'n there... 'n head ta Chicago ta see Iris fer a week if she cain't make it here... But before we do anythin' more we should wait 'n see if'n tha' lawsuit of Betty's gets settled soon... so's we can figure out the ranch stuff with her 'n Bill..."
"Ya know tha' thing could drag on fer a while yet... Damn... I still cain't believe that half-brother of hers showed up outta nowheres 'n challenged her pa's will..."
"Well ya might as well start believin' it 'cause he did."
"What a buncha bullshit... sayin' their pa promised him the lion's share of it... Hell... she woulda been willin' ta split it with him 50/50... once she knew fer sure he was really her half-brother anyways... 'n now instead they're in this big ol' fight over it..."
"Yeah... 'N the lawyers are gonna be the only real winners..."
"True 'nough. 'N that's why I still say we should just go ahead 'n figure out some way of dividin' up the ranch with them now... 'n not sit around waitin' fer tha' dumbass lawsuit ta be settled... Hell... it's been months... 'n it could be months more yet... maybe longer even..."
"Ya know damn well Betty 'n Bill said they don't wanna do nothin' 'til this is all took care of... 'N Betty thinks it migh' get settled purty soon now..."
"I know, I know... But..."
"Leave it be, Hank... They know we're willin'... 'n they'll let us know if'n they change their minds."
"Fine. I'll leave it be. Fer the time bein' anyways..."
"Good."
"But I still don't see why tha' should keep us from goin' anywheres... Hell... we went the summer before last no problem... 'Course I never even finished writin' about it yet... I guess I should resolve ta do tha'..."
"It'd jus' be easier ta plan somethin' once we got the ranch stuff all squared away..."
"Plan...? Who the hell needs ta plan...? We just gotta make sure we got the ranch covered 'n then get in the truck 'n point it in whatever direction we wanna go... We can save the kinda trip tha' needs plannin' fer next year..."
"I ain't even sure if we can afford the kinda trip tha' needs plannin'... But... let's just see if'n this thing with Betty's brother gets settled soon... 'Cause once it does we gotta figure ev'rythin' out 'n help 'em get a house built 'n a barn built 'n whatnot..."
"Okay... But if'n it starts lookin' like it ain't gonna be settled soon maybe we can try 'n go somewheres fer a l'il longer then..."
"But not too long."
"But long enough."
"Nothin''s ever long enough fer you."
"That ain't true... some things are plenty long enough fer me..."
"They are, huh...?"
"Yep. So's Ed...?"
"Yeah...?"
"Are ya ready fer the next part of our brand new New Year's Day-time tradition of celebratin' New Year's Eve...?"
"How 'bout you tell me what exactly comes next... 'n then I'll tell ya if'n I'm ready fer it..."
"You come next... 'N then me... Or vice versa... Or if we're real lucky... maybe even both of us at about the same time..."
"Now that's the kinda tradition I can really get behind..."
"You go right ahead 'n do that..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
Later...
"Try tha' 'sketch' thing again...
With just the charcoal this time..."
"Like this...?"
"Yeah... I think tha' looks best..."
"Me too, Ed..."
"Now make it a l'il darker...
You can do tha'... can't ya...?"
"Yep. How's tha'...?"
"It looks good, Hank... Hell...
I can't hardly believe tha' started out as a regular picture..."
"Yeah... It's a lotta fun ta mess around with this here program..."
"Now... Can ya make the house a l'il bigger...?"
"Size matters, huh...?"
"Jus' make the house a l'il bigger, dumbass..."
"I can make it bigger... Jus' give me a minute here...
I gotta redo all tha' lassoin' 'n pastin'...
There... How's tha'...?"
"I think that's about right...
It looks real good, Hank... Only..."
"Only wha'...?"
"You can put some color on it... can't ya...?"
"It depends whatcha want..."
"Can ya color in a couple a them windows with yellow...
So's it looks like there's a light on...?"
"I sure can... How's tha'...?"
"It looks real good, Hank...
Real good... Except..."
"Except wha'...?"
"Now the shirt's gonna end up lookin' kinda lopsided..."
"I guess it will at tha'..."
"So's... could ya maybe do the same ta a picture of the barn...
'n put it on the other side...?"
"I guess I can do tha'...
Jus' give me a few minutes ta find a picture of the barn...
'N if'n I cain't find one I'll jus' go outside
'n take a picture of it..."
Later yet...
"Whaddya think, Ed...?
I had ta cut part a the barn off so's it'll fit alrigh'
'cause I think there's gonna be less room on tha' side...
But I think it still looks okay..."
"It looks real nice, Hank... Real nice..."
"Thanks, Ed..."
"Only..."
"Only wha'...?"
"Well... I like that he's headin' straight ta the house... but... it just occurred ta me... if'n ya wanna get technical-like about it... he'd be headin' ta the barn first..."
"'N I bet ya wanna get technical-like about it...?"
"If'n ya don't mind."
"I don't mind... Let's get technical-like... Jus' give me a few minutes..."
"Tha' looks better... Only..."
"Only...?"
"Only now the house looks too big 'n the barn looks too small... So's maybe you could put the whole barn in this time... put back tha' side part ya cut out last time ta make it fit..."
"I guess I could try doin' tha'..."
"'N maybe make the house justa l'il smaller..."
"The house a l'il smaller...? I think I remember makin' it a l'il bigger not too long ago..."
"Yeah... But now 'cause we changed it it needs ta be smaller..."
"We changed it, huh...?"
"'N don't ferget ta put them lights in the windows again... I like them lights in the windows..."
"Okay... Lights in the windows... You want them lights in diff'rent windows...? All the windows...? Just the downstairs windows...? Just the upstairs windows...? Just one window...? 'N if so, which one...? Or maybe in three windows...? One upstairs window 'n two downstairs...? One downstairs in two up...? How 'bout the barn...? You want a light on in the barn...? You name it you got it, dumbass..."
"Not all the windows... Tha'd just look like we were wastin' electricity... I think the lights in them two bottom windows will do... 'N a light on in the barn migh' be kinda nice... maybe just in this top part here..."
"Two bottom windows 'n the top of the barn... Got it..."
"'Course tha'd be one helluva lit up barn... But it looks nice anyways..."
"So... we ain't gonna worry about bein' technical-like fer the barn light..."
"'N does it let ya flip pictures...? Maybe you could flip the picture of that house... so's it's facin' more towards me... righ' now it looks like it's facin' the wrong way 'cause ya put it on the other side..."
"I'm tempted ta say I cain't... but... yep... I can flip the house... Jus' give me a couple a minutes here ta flip it 'n re-lasso it 'n paste it..."
"Thanks, Hank..."
"I think you missed out on a lucrative career in the graphic arts, Ed... Or least-wise bossin' folks around who work with tha' kinda stuff anyways... Shit... I sure as hell hate ta point this out to ya... but yer bound ta notice it sooner or later... I think I sliced off a l'il corner of the house when I was lassoin' it ta paste it there... Ya want me ta redo it...?"
"Lemme see... Tha's okay... I think it looks kinda nice like tha'... In fact... I think tha' looks perfect, Hank... Jus' like tha'..."
"You sure...?"
"Yep. It looks just like home."
"It sure does."
"'N now we know tha' fella's headin' somewhere good."
"Yeah. He sure is."
That night...
"You asleep, Hank...?"
"Yep."
"About them lights... Ya know how the light comes through between some a them boards in the barn when I get behind on replacin' 'em...? D'ya s'pose you could make it look like that usin' tha' program...?"
"I can try... But I ain't tha' good with it, Ed... 'N besides... I thought ya said it was 'perfect' the way it is..."
"Tha' don't mean it couldn' be a l'il better... What about a porch light...? D'ya think maybe we should put in a porch light...? Or maybe it don't need it... It migh' be too much... But maybe since them bottom windows have lights in 'em the rest of 'em should be dark... that ain't hard ta do... Right...?"
"How 'bout I show ya how ta use it tomorrow...? Then you can go hog-wild with it... Hell... not only can you put in a porch light 'n black out them other windows you can put in a big ol' UFO landin' righ' next ta the house if'n ya wanna..."
"Only you'd wanna go 'n do somethin' like tha'...
'N besides... if'n ya were gonna do it it'd hafta be on the barn side..."
"G'night, dumbass...
Happy New Year's Day Night..."
"So's... Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"D'ya s'pose there's any kinda new New Year's Day Night-time traditions we jus' migh' be fergettin' about..?"
"You ain't too tired ta start somethin'...? After this mornin' 'n all...?"
"I ain't if you ain't..."
"Well... I thought I was but maybe that's 'cause I thought you were too so I guess I ain't if you ain't either..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
"Hold on a sec..."
"Jus' ferget the music tonight, Hank..."
"No way... I'm gonna start this here new year out right by playin' yer fav'rite song fer ya... Here ya go..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqrMd5y7QXQ
"That ain't my fav'rite song..."
"Yeah it is."
"Ya know damn well I like Johnny Cash... Or Hank Williams... Senior, that is..."
"Yeah, I know... but this is yer secret fav'rite song..."
"No it ain't."
"Yeah it is."
"No it ain't... 'S too sappy fer me..."
"Sappy or not... It's yer secret fav'rite song alrigh'."
"No it ain't."
"Okay. Have it yer way... It ain't yer secret fav'rite song... Ya want me ta turn it off...?"
"Well... Since it's playin' already... I guess ya might as well leave it be..."
"Okay. I'll leave it be."
"So's... Is it...?"
"Yeah, Ed... It's set ta repeat."
Later...
"Damn, Ed... I sure do love yer ass... 'n ev'ry other part of ya as well..."
"I'm purty fond of all yer parts too, dumbass..."
"'N... Ya know tha' song...?"
"Wha' song...?"
"The one I jus' turned off... The same one tha' was playin' over 'n over a whole buncha times..."
"I guess I was too preoccupied by some a them parts a yers ta notice..."
"Ya know ya turn it up ev'ry time it comes on that oldies country station ya listen to..."
"I turn up a lotta songs."
"Not so's many as ya'd think... 'n usually never the sappy ones... 'cept fer that one... 'n a couple other of yer super-secret fav'rite sappy songs..."
"So I guess now I know whatcha do with all yer time... ya spend it spyin' on me..."
"As much as I possibly can... 'N... d'ya remember the first time we heard it...? At the same time 'n place anyways..."
"Yeah. I remember... But I was kinda hopin' you didn't."
"Oh I remember alrigh'... It was way back when... 'n we were comin' back from one a them campin' trips... 'n we usually didn't eat out nowheres 'cause you never wanted to... but we ran through our food faster than usual tha' trip 'n we were both real hungry so we stopped at tha' diner... 'n tha' song came on midway through eatin' our lunch... 'N the red... I never seen nothin' like it... It started with yer ears... 'n then it crept up yer neck 'n spread acrost yer whole face... I'd say it was more like fire engine red than beet red... Or whatever the hell's redder than fire engine red... Hell... tha' was the reddest red I ever seen..."
"It weren't tha' bad..."
"Yeah it was... Damn... I thought maybe you were gonna spontaneously combust righ' then 'n there... 'N you were lookin' ev'rywhere... 'xcept at me... 'N at first I didn't even know what had ya so worked up 'cause I weren't payin' attention ta the song... but then... in spite a yerself... yer eyes lit on mine fer a second... 'n tha's when I knew what it was... 'cause when our eyes met that one particular part a the song was playin'... 'n all of a sudden it seemed real loud... 'n then I could see it there 'n yer eyes as plain as day... no matter how hard you were tryin' ta hide it... Hell... it was like some kinda real sappy scene from a real sappy movie..."
"Ya always did exaggerate, dumbass..."
"I ain't exaggeratin'... 'N then next thing I knew ya bolted up outta tha' booth 'n ya mumbled somethin' about not bein' as hungry as ya thought 'n ya threw some money down on the table 'n high-tailed it outta there... When I came out I weren't even sure if ya'd be waitin' ta say 'so long 'n see ya later' ta me..."
"Ya sure as hell took yer sweet time..."
"Alls I did was pay the bill 'n get yer food wrapped ta go in case you were still there... I knew ya'd get hungry again on tha' long drive home a yers..."
"Come ta think of it... I don't think I ever thanked ya fer tha'..."
"No ya didn't. Hell... Ya barely said two words ta me..."
"Thanks, Hank."
"Yer welcome, dumbass... 'N by the way ya overpaid yer bill by a good bit..."
"If'n ya tell me by exactly how much I'll figure out how much interest has accrued over the last forty years so's you can pay me back..."
"You'll have ta take it up with the waitress... Turns out you were a real big tipper tha' day..."
"'S okay... them waitresses work real hard fer a livin'..."
"They sure do."
"But... when tha' song came on... Shit... ev'ry time I heard tha' song... 'n they were playin' it all the time back then... alls I could think about was you... 'n then... hearin' it with you sittin' right acrost from me... with all them other folks around... Shit... I felt like ev'ryone musta known... 'n like you musta known... 'n I didn't want you or anybody else knowin'... Hell... I didn't even wanna know it myself... 'N I felt like... like... Hell... I dunno what else..."
"Like Mr. Campbell was killin' ya softly with his song...?"
"Wha'...?"
"Nevermind... 'S just another sappy song from back then..."
"You seem ta know 'em all."
"What I do know is that even though ya barely said good-bye ta me tha' day I drove home with one helluva big ol' grin on my face... 'n jus' thinkin' about it kept me goin' through some tough times... with ya 'n withou' ya..."
"Wha' made ya think of it tonight...?"
"I just heard tha' song on the radio this afternoon... fer the first time in a long time... 'N it's one a my secret fav'rite songs too..."
"Well that's easier fer you ta admit to... Considerin' yer gen'rally sappy taste in music..."
"Ya know tha' song may be sappy, but it's a classic... 'N ya know Johnny Cash sang it too... So's it must not a been too sappy fer him..."
"Yeah... I know... 'N I do gotta admit ta likin' that one particular line a whole lot..."
"'N exactly which line migh' tha' be...?"
"'I can hear ya when ya whine'."
"Ya know damn well it's 'I hear ya in the whine', dumbass... Like in the noise them telephone wires make..."
"You sure about tha'...?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"Well it works better fer me as 'when ya whine'..."
"I don't whine... I just bitch 'n moan when there's somethin' tha' needs bitchin' 'n moanin' about... there's a big diff'rence between that 'n whinin'..."
"Well... I cain't say as I care fer yer bitchin' too much... but I do gen'rally enjoy yer moanin'... Least-wise I was enjoyin' it a whole lot a few minutes ago..."
"I'm glad ta hear it... But ya know... you bitch just as much I as I do..."
"I do not."
"Yeah ya do. Maybe more even."
"No I don't."
"Yeah ya do. We even bitch about some of the same stuff."
"No way."
"I bitch tha' we don't travel enough 'n you bitch tha' we travel too much... I bitch that I gotta work too hard 'n you bitch that I don't work hard enough... I wanna retire sometime in this lifetime 'n you wanna put if off 'til the next... You seein' any kinda pattern here...? We don't hardly go nowheres... 'N we sure as hell ain't retired..."
"You sure...? I coulda sworn you were retired..."
"...So's as far as any whinin' about stuff goes... yer winnin' the war..."
"Well how 'bout we call a truce fer the night 'n get some sleep...?"
"Fine with me... But jus' fer the record... yer the one tha' started this particular skirmish..."
"No I didn't."
"Yeah. Ya did."
"Okay. Maybe I did."
"Yeah. Ya did."
"Go ta sleep, Hank..."
"G'night, Ed..."
...
......
"'N... I do, ya know..."
"Ya do wha'...?"
"Wha' them other lines a tha' song say... Ya know I still do... Dontcha...? Even more than I did back then..."
"Yeah... I know... 'N I do too, Ed..."
---
And I need you more than want you.
And I want you for all time.
---
New Year's Day (morning, afternoon and night)...
Memory Jog: Ed and Hank have a New Year's Eve tradition of switching their two old shirts around in the closet at midnight and then exchanging new shirts... which they didn't do this year because they were too lazy to get up. Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
New Year's Day...
"Thanks, Ed… I like my shirt a whole lot."
"Me too, Hank... I thought fer sure this year ya’d buy me one a them gaudy ones... like you like so much…"
"Maybe next year… But this year I figured you deserved somethin’ dull 'n borin'... just how you like it…"
"'N don't think I don't appreciate it."
"'N I think congratulations are in order too..."
"Fer wha'...?"
"You made it a whole year with tha' ring on yer finger withou' gettin' yer finger ripped clean off even once... I didn't think you could manage it, Ed..."
"'N lookit here... I somehow managed not ta get this particular finger ripped clean off neither..."
"Flippin' me off ain't part of this tradition..."
"It is now."
"I guess tha' means the honeymoon's fin'lly over..."
"Then you'd be guessin' wrong as usual, dumbass."
"But... I gotta tell ya, Ed... I'm real glad ya changed yer mind... about wearin' a ring 'n all..."
"Me too, Hank."
"Wait a sec... I almost forgot... I got ya somethin' else too..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Here..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Ya know somethin', Ed...? I'm real tired of you bitchin' 'n moanin' ev'ry time I buy ya some little thing or another... 'N I'm tellin' ya here 'n now... Cut it the hell out..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"...'cause I'm done not buyin' ya stuff just because you throw a fit ev'ry time I do buy ya stuff..."
"I ain't ever thrown a fit in my life."
"Yeah ya have... They're just a lot quieter than most folks' fits... So... I'm hereby startin' a brand new tradition of randomly buyin' ya stuff whenever the hell I feel like it..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"'N here's whatcha do when I do... You lemme know if'n ya want me ta write it all down for ya fer future ref'rence... 1) ya open the damn bag... 2) pull out what's inside... 3) look at it... 4) say thank you if the spirit moves ya... or don't if it don't... and 5) know I don't expect nothin' in return. Ever. So... here's the damn bag... D'ya think you can manage all tha'...?"
"Shit."
"6) no swearin' neither. It ain't polite."
"I apologize if I've offended yer delicate sensibilities in any way whatsoever."
"Apology accepted. Now open the damn bag, dumbass..."
"How come you get ta swear...?"
"Open the damn bag, Ed..."
"I'm openin' it... I'm openin' it... But... Jeez..."
"Wha' now...?"
"Ya coulda wrapped it."
"'N folks think I'm the annoyin' one... Just open the bag already..."
"...Thanks, Hank... It's a real nice t-shirt... I like it a whole lot... Damn... It looks like tha' fella's headin' home after one helluva hard day's work... Tha' dog don't look wore out though... Tha' seems about righ'..."
"I thought ya migh' like it, Ed..."
"Only..."
"Only what...?"
"Only there should be two dogs... 'n two cowboys..."
"Ya think so, huh...?"
"Yeah... Bill 'n me 'n them two dogs are usually out workin' together..."
"You 'n Bill, huh...?"
"Yep. 'N there should be a little house off in the distance... where yer snoozin' the day away while we're out workin' our asses off..."
"So's how 'bout I get one a them indelible-like markers 'n draw a little house on tha' shirt for ya...?"
"Thanks but no thanks... It's fine just the way it is..."
"Wait a minute... I was jus' kiddin' about the marker... But... I bet I could take a picture of our house 'n then copy it onto one a them iron-on transfers 'n add it to tha' shirt fer ya... I bought some a them a while back... fer makin' myself a gay rights kinda t-shirt fer tha' rally... but I ran outta time 'n never got around ta doin' it..."
"I dunno, Hank... it prob'bly wouldn't end up lookin' right... Even if'n it was a black 'n white picture..."
"Well... I bet I could even mess with the picture some 'n make it look like it belongs on tha' t-shirt by usin' tha' photoshop program Iris sent me a couple of years ago... I'm better with it than I used ta be..."
"Can I okay it before ya do it...?"
"'Course ya can... It's yer shirt so's you got the final say... 'N I can do it all in tha' program before we try it on the shirt..."
"Well then... In tha' case I'm willin' ta let ya give it a try... But I don't want ya ruinin' my shirt..."
"I won't ruin yer shirt."
"Ya better not."
"I love yer gift-hatin' ass, Ed."
"'N I love yer gift-givin' ass, Hank."
"Happy new year, Ed."
"Same ta you, Hank... But... Damn... I cain't believe how fast this one went by... Seems like ev'ry one of 'em goes by twice as fast as the one before..."
"How 'bout we resolve to make this one last twice as long...?"
"'N how exactly do ya figure we can do that...?"
"I dunno... Time goes by slower when yer doin' somethin' ya don't like... So's how 'bout we spend a whole buncha time travelin' this year...? Tha' should slow things down fer ya real good..."
"Nice try, dumbass..."
"No sale, huh...?"
"Well... Maybe we could go campin' close by fer a few days here 'n there... 'n head ta Chicago ta see Iris fer a week if she cain't make it here... But before we do anythin' more we should wait 'n see if'n tha' lawsuit of Betty's gets settled soon... so's we can figure out the ranch stuff with her 'n Bill..."
"Ya know tha' thing could drag on fer a while yet... Damn... I still cain't believe that half-brother of hers showed up outta nowheres 'n challenged her pa's will..."
"Well ya might as well start believin' it 'cause he did."
"What a buncha bullshit... sayin' their pa promised him the lion's share of it... Hell... she woulda been willin' ta split it with him 50/50... once she knew fer sure he was really her half-brother anyways... 'n now instead they're in this big ol' fight over it..."
"Yeah... 'N the lawyers are gonna be the only real winners..."
"True 'nough. 'N that's why I still say we should just go ahead 'n figure out some way of dividin' up the ranch with them now... 'n not sit around waitin' fer tha' dumbass lawsuit ta be settled... Hell... it's been months... 'n it could be months more yet... maybe longer even..."
"Ya know damn well Betty 'n Bill said they don't wanna do nothin' 'til this is all took care of... 'N Betty thinks it migh' get settled purty soon now..."
"I know, I know... But..."
"Leave it be, Hank... They know we're willin'... 'n they'll let us know if'n they change their minds."
"Fine. I'll leave it be. Fer the time bein' anyways..."
"Good."
"But I still don't see why tha' should keep us from goin' anywheres... Hell... we went the summer before last no problem... 'Course I never even finished writin' about it yet... I guess I should resolve ta do tha'..."
"It'd jus' be easier ta plan somethin' once we got the ranch stuff all squared away..."
"Plan...? Who the hell needs ta plan...? We just gotta make sure we got the ranch covered 'n then get in the truck 'n point it in whatever direction we wanna go... We can save the kinda trip tha' needs plannin' fer next year..."
"I ain't even sure if we can afford the kinda trip tha' needs plannin'... But... let's just see if'n this thing with Betty's brother gets settled soon... 'Cause once it does we gotta figure ev'rythin' out 'n help 'em get a house built 'n a barn built 'n whatnot..."
"Okay... But if'n it starts lookin' like it ain't gonna be settled soon maybe we can try 'n go somewheres fer a l'il longer then..."
"But not too long."
"But long enough."
"Nothin''s ever long enough fer you."
"That ain't true... some things are plenty long enough fer me..."
"They are, huh...?"
"Yep. So's Ed...?"
"Yeah...?"
"Are ya ready fer the next part of our brand new New Year's Day-time tradition of celebratin' New Year's Eve...?"
"How 'bout you tell me what exactly comes next... 'n then I'll tell ya if'n I'm ready fer it..."
"You come next... 'N then me... Or vice versa... Or if we're real lucky... maybe even both of us at about the same time..."
"Now that's the kinda tradition I can really get behind..."
"You go right ahead 'n do that..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
Later...
"Try tha' 'sketch' thing again...
With just the charcoal this time..."
"Like this...?"
"Yeah... I think tha' looks best..."
"Me too, Ed..."
"Now make it a l'il darker...
You can do tha'... can't ya...?"
"Yep. How's tha'...?"
"It looks good, Hank... Hell...
I can't hardly believe tha' started out as a regular picture..."
"Yeah... It's a lotta fun ta mess around with this here program..."
"Now... Can ya make the house a l'il bigger...?"
"Size matters, huh...?"
"Jus' make the house a l'il bigger, dumbass..."
"I can make it bigger... Jus' give me a minute here...
I gotta redo all tha' lassoin' 'n pastin'...
There... How's tha'...?"
"I think that's about right...
It looks real good, Hank... Only..."
"Only wha'...?"
"You can put some color on it... can't ya...?"
"It depends whatcha want..."
"Can ya color in a couple a them windows with yellow...
So's it looks like there's a light on...?"
"I sure can... How's tha'...?"
"It looks real good, Hank...
Real good... Except..."
"Except wha'...?"
"Now the shirt's gonna end up lookin' kinda lopsided..."
"I guess it will at tha'..."
"So's... could ya maybe do the same ta a picture of the barn...
'n put it on the other side...?"
"I guess I can do tha'...
Jus' give me a few minutes ta find a picture of the barn...
'N if'n I cain't find one I'll jus' go outside
'n take a picture of it..."
Later yet...
"Whaddya think, Ed...?
I had ta cut part a the barn off so's it'll fit alrigh'
'cause I think there's gonna be less room on tha' side...
But I think it still looks okay..."
"It looks real nice, Hank... Real nice..."
"Thanks, Ed..."
"Only..."
"Only wha'...?"
"Well... I like that he's headin' straight ta the house... but... it just occurred ta me... if'n ya wanna get technical-like about it... he'd be headin' ta the barn first..."
"'N I bet ya wanna get technical-like about it...?"
"If'n ya don't mind."
"I don't mind... Let's get technical-like... Jus' give me a few minutes..."
"Tha' looks better... Only..."
"Only...?"
"Only now the house looks too big 'n the barn looks too small... So's maybe you could put the whole barn in this time... put back tha' side part ya cut out last time ta make it fit..."
"I guess I could try doin' tha'..."
"'N maybe make the house justa l'il smaller..."
"The house a l'il smaller...? I think I remember makin' it a l'il bigger not too long ago..."
"Yeah... But now 'cause we changed it it needs ta be smaller..."
"We changed it, huh...?"
"'N don't ferget ta put them lights in the windows again... I like them lights in the windows..."
"Okay... Lights in the windows... You want them lights in diff'rent windows...? All the windows...? Just the downstairs windows...? Just the upstairs windows...? Just one window...? 'N if so, which one...? Or maybe in three windows...? One upstairs window 'n two downstairs...? One downstairs in two up...? How 'bout the barn...? You want a light on in the barn...? You name it you got it, dumbass..."
"Not all the windows... Tha'd just look like we were wastin' electricity... I think the lights in them two bottom windows will do... 'N a light on in the barn migh' be kinda nice... maybe just in this top part here..."
"Two bottom windows 'n the top of the barn... Got it..."
"'Course tha'd be one helluva lit up barn... But it looks nice anyways..."
"So... we ain't gonna worry about bein' technical-like fer the barn light..."
"'N does it let ya flip pictures...? Maybe you could flip the picture of that house... so's it's facin' more towards me... righ' now it looks like it's facin' the wrong way 'cause ya put it on the other side..."
"I'm tempted ta say I cain't... but... yep... I can flip the house... Jus' give me a couple a minutes here ta flip it 'n re-lasso it 'n paste it..."
"Thanks, Hank..."
"I think you missed out on a lucrative career in the graphic arts, Ed... Or least-wise bossin' folks around who work with tha' kinda stuff anyways... Shit... I sure as hell hate ta point this out to ya... but yer bound ta notice it sooner or later... I think I sliced off a l'il corner of the house when I was lassoin' it ta paste it there... Ya want me ta redo it...?"
"Lemme see... Tha's okay... I think it looks kinda nice like tha'... In fact... I think tha' looks perfect, Hank... Jus' like tha'..."
"You sure...?"
"Yep. It looks just like home."
"It sure does."
"'N now we know tha' fella's headin' somewhere good."
"Yeah. He sure is."
That night...
"You asleep, Hank...?"
"Yep."
"About them lights... Ya know how the light comes through between some a them boards in the barn when I get behind on replacin' 'em...? D'ya s'pose you could make it look like that usin' tha' program...?"
"I can try... But I ain't tha' good with it, Ed... 'N besides... I thought ya said it was 'perfect' the way it is..."
"Tha' don't mean it couldn' be a l'il better... What about a porch light...? D'ya think maybe we should put in a porch light...? Or maybe it don't need it... It migh' be too much... But maybe since them bottom windows have lights in 'em the rest of 'em should be dark... that ain't hard ta do... Right...?"
"How 'bout I show ya how ta use it tomorrow...? Then you can go hog-wild with it... Hell... not only can you put in a porch light 'n black out them other windows you can put in a big ol' UFO landin' righ' next ta the house if'n ya wanna..."
"Only you'd wanna go 'n do somethin' like tha'...
'N besides... if'n ya were gonna do it it'd hafta be on the barn side..."
"G'night, dumbass...
Happy New Year's Day Night..."
"So's... Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"D'ya s'pose there's any kinda new New Year's Day Night-time traditions we jus' migh' be fergettin' about..?"
"You ain't too tired ta start somethin'...? After this mornin' 'n all...?"
"I ain't if you ain't..."
"Well... I thought I was but maybe that's 'cause I thought you were too so I guess I ain't if you ain't either..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
"Hold on a sec..."
"Jus' ferget the music tonight, Hank..."
"No way... I'm gonna start this here new year out right by playin' yer fav'rite song fer ya... Here ya go..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqrMd5y7QXQ
"That ain't my fav'rite song..."
"Yeah it is."
"Ya know damn well I like Johnny Cash... Or Hank Williams... Senior, that is..."
"Yeah, I know... but this is yer secret fav'rite song..."
"No it ain't."
"Yeah it is."
"No it ain't... 'S too sappy fer me..."
"Sappy or not... It's yer secret fav'rite song alrigh'."
"No it ain't."
"Okay. Have it yer way... It ain't yer secret fav'rite song... Ya want me ta turn it off...?"
"Well... Since it's playin' already... I guess ya might as well leave it be..."
"Okay. I'll leave it be."
"So's... Is it...?"
"Yeah, Ed... It's set ta repeat."
Later...
"Damn, Ed... I sure do love yer ass... 'n ev'ry other part of ya as well..."
"I'm purty fond of all yer parts too, dumbass..."
"'N... Ya know tha' song...?"
"Wha' song...?"
"The one I jus' turned off... The same one tha' was playin' over 'n over a whole buncha times..."
"I guess I was too preoccupied by some a them parts a yers ta notice..."
"Ya know ya turn it up ev'ry time it comes on that oldies country station ya listen to..."
"I turn up a lotta songs."
"Not so's many as ya'd think... 'n usually never the sappy ones... 'cept fer that one... 'n a couple other of yer super-secret fav'rite sappy songs..."
"So I guess now I know whatcha do with all yer time... ya spend it spyin' on me..."
"As much as I possibly can... 'N... d'ya remember the first time we heard it...? At the same time 'n place anyways..."
"Yeah. I remember... But I was kinda hopin' you didn't."
"Oh I remember alrigh'... It was way back when... 'n we were comin' back from one a them campin' trips... 'n we usually didn't eat out nowheres 'cause you never wanted to... but we ran through our food faster than usual tha' trip 'n we were both real hungry so we stopped at tha' diner... 'n tha' song came on midway through eatin' our lunch... 'N the red... I never seen nothin' like it... It started with yer ears... 'n then it crept up yer neck 'n spread acrost yer whole face... I'd say it was more like fire engine red than beet red... Or whatever the hell's redder than fire engine red... Hell... tha' was the reddest red I ever seen..."
"It weren't tha' bad..."
"Yeah it was... Damn... I thought maybe you were gonna spontaneously combust righ' then 'n there... 'N you were lookin' ev'rywhere... 'xcept at me... 'N at first I didn't even know what had ya so worked up 'cause I weren't payin' attention ta the song... but then... in spite a yerself... yer eyes lit on mine fer a second... 'n tha's when I knew what it was... 'cause when our eyes met that one particular part a the song was playin'... 'n all of a sudden it seemed real loud... 'n then I could see it there 'n yer eyes as plain as day... no matter how hard you were tryin' ta hide it... Hell... it was like some kinda real sappy scene from a real sappy movie..."
"Ya always did exaggerate, dumbass..."
"I ain't exaggeratin'... 'N then next thing I knew ya bolted up outta tha' booth 'n ya mumbled somethin' about not bein' as hungry as ya thought 'n ya threw some money down on the table 'n high-tailed it outta there... When I came out I weren't even sure if ya'd be waitin' ta say 'so long 'n see ya later' ta me..."
"Ya sure as hell took yer sweet time..."
"Alls I did was pay the bill 'n get yer food wrapped ta go in case you were still there... I knew ya'd get hungry again on tha' long drive home a yers..."
"Come ta think of it... I don't think I ever thanked ya fer tha'..."
"No ya didn't. Hell... Ya barely said two words ta me..."
"Thanks, Hank."
"Yer welcome, dumbass... 'N by the way ya overpaid yer bill by a good bit..."
"If'n ya tell me by exactly how much I'll figure out how much interest has accrued over the last forty years so's you can pay me back..."
"You'll have ta take it up with the waitress... Turns out you were a real big tipper tha' day..."
"'S okay... them waitresses work real hard fer a livin'..."
"They sure do."
"But... when tha' song came on... Shit... ev'ry time I heard tha' song... 'n they were playin' it all the time back then... alls I could think about was you... 'n then... hearin' it with you sittin' right acrost from me... with all them other folks around... Shit... I felt like ev'ryone musta known... 'n like you musta known... 'n I didn't want you or anybody else knowin'... Hell... I didn't even wanna know it myself... 'N I felt like... like... Hell... I dunno what else..."
"Like Mr. Campbell was killin' ya softly with his song...?"
"Wha'...?"
"Nevermind... 'S just another sappy song from back then..."
"You seem ta know 'em all."
"What I do know is that even though ya barely said good-bye ta me tha' day I drove home with one helluva big ol' grin on my face... 'n jus' thinkin' about it kept me goin' through some tough times... with ya 'n withou' ya..."
"Wha' made ya think of it tonight...?"
"I just heard tha' song on the radio this afternoon... fer the first time in a long time... 'N it's one a my secret fav'rite songs too..."
"Well that's easier fer you ta admit to... Considerin' yer gen'rally sappy taste in music..."
"Ya know tha' song may be sappy, but it's a classic... 'N ya know Johnny Cash sang it too... So's it must not a been too sappy fer him..."
"Yeah... I know... 'N I do gotta admit ta likin' that one particular line a whole lot..."
"'N exactly which line migh' tha' be...?"
"'I can hear ya when ya whine'."
"Ya know damn well it's 'I hear ya in the whine', dumbass... Like in the noise them telephone wires make..."
"You sure about tha'...?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"Well it works better fer me as 'when ya whine'..."
"I don't whine... I just bitch 'n moan when there's somethin' tha' needs bitchin' 'n moanin' about... there's a big diff'rence between that 'n whinin'..."
"Well... I cain't say as I care fer yer bitchin' too much... but I do gen'rally enjoy yer moanin'... Least-wise I was enjoyin' it a whole lot a few minutes ago..."
"I'm glad ta hear it... But ya know... you bitch just as much I as I do..."
"I do not."
"Yeah ya do. Maybe more even."
"No I don't."
"Yeah ya do. We even bitch about some of the same stuff."
"No way."
"I bitch tha' we don't travel enough 'n you bitch tha' we travel too much... I bitch that I gotta work too hard 'n you bitch that I don't work hard enough... I wanna retire sometime in this lifetime 'n you wanna put if off 'til the next... You seein' any kinda pattern here...? We don't hardly go nowheres... 'N we sure as hell ain't retired..."
"You sure...? I coulda sworn you were retired..."
"...So's as far as any whinin' about stuff goes... yer winnin' the war..."
"Well how 'bout we call a truce fer the night 'n get some sleep...?"
"Fine with me... But jus' fer the record... yer the one tha' started this particular skirmish..."
"No I didn't."
"Yeah. Ya did."
"Okay. Maybe I did."
"Yeah. Ya did."
"Go ta sleep, Hank..."
"G'night, Ed..."
...
......
"'N... I do, ya know..."
"Ya do wha'...?"
"Wha' them other lines a tha' song say... Ya know I still do... Dontcha...? Even more than I did back then..."
"Yeah... I know... 'N I do too, Ed..."
---
And I need you more than want you.
And I want you for all time.
---