(no subject)
Ed and Hank
And the Oscar damn well better go to...
Note: Pretty short. (There should be a longer post sometime next week or the week after.) Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
And the Oscar damn well better go to...
"Hey, Ed... D'ya wanna beer...?"
"I sure do."
"Well... When ya get up ta get one fer yerself would ya bring one back fer me too...?"
"Wha' kind d'ya want, dumbass...?"
"Whatever ya grab is fine with me..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Dammit, Ed..."
"Wha'...?"
"Nothin'... I jus' figured I'm way behind on my 'Dammit, Eds' as compared ta yer 'Dammit, Hanks'... so's I thought I'd throw one out fer the helluva it..."
"Dumbass."
"So's... Wha' was tha' particular 'Dammit, Hank' in regards to...?"
"This milk... I been tryin' real hard ta ignore it... waitin' ta see exactly how long it'd take ya ta notice it 'n throw it out... but it's been weeks 'n it's still sittin' in here gettin' more 'n more disgustin' ev'ry day... I swear I could put it in the middle a the livin' room floor 'n you'd jus' keep steppin' right over it withou' even seein' it..."
"I've noticed tha' milk alrigh'..."
"Then why in the hell haven't ya thrown it out...?
'S like I gotta do ev'rythin' around here..."
"I was enjoyin' the diff'rent colors it was turnin'..."
"Dumbass."
"'N who knows... we could be makin' yogurt 'n not even know it..."
"How 'bout you go ahead 'n taste it 'n let me know."
"Tha's okay... I ain't really a big fan of home-made yogurt..."
"Then how 'bout I dump it out..."
"Jus' leave it be, Ed... I'll take care of it tomorrow..."
"Well... don't go spillin' it... 'S gonna stink ta high heaven... Remember tha' time ya tried makin' that Indian cheese 'n the milk boiled over 'n went everywheres...? Hell... even after we pulled the stove out 'n cleaned everythin' real good it still stank fer a while after that ev'ry time it got hot 'n humid..."
"Lucky fer us it don't get hot 'n humid here too often..."
"Lucky fer you ya mean."
"'N ya know... tha' cheese didn't turn out half bad... wha' was left of it anyways... Maybe we should try makin' it again sometime..."
"Tell me yer kiddin'..."
"I just shoulda used a taller pot... like tha' big ol' one my ma used ta use fer cannin'... tha's gotta be around somewheres... It's prob'bly in the cellar..."
"Yer ma... She was one helluva cook..."
"Yeah. She sure was."
"Well... how 'bout ya just start with tryin' ta dump out tha' milk withou' makin' a big ol' mess... 'N go on ta the cheesemakin' after tha'..."
"Who knows... maybe I'll spill some of tha' milk on myself 'n you'll come in ta find that I've been turned inta some kinda mutant super-villian on accounta bein exposed ta toxic sour milk..."
"'N they'll call ya Cheese Head no doubt..."
"I'd prefer ta be addressed as Mr. Cheese Head."
"Better make tha' Mr. Swiss Cheese Head... 'Cause I think ya got a a few more holes in it than yer s'posed ta..."
"'N you 'n Bill can be my henchmen...Mr. Curds 'n Mr. Whey..."
"Curds 'n Whey...? I don't think so."
"If'n you got a better idea I'm open ta suggestions... I ain't gonna be one a them hard-ass, dictatorial-type super villians... The names jus' gotta be dairy-related... 'N our secret lair will hafta be in Wisconsin... Maybe tha' place we stopped ta buy tha' Limburger cheese when we were drivin' from Madison ta Chicago with Iris..."
"Tha' limburger was good... real good... I liked it on tha' rye bread... with raw onions... But... Damn... tha' sure as hell stank ta an even higher heaven..."
"Yeah... 'n tha' smell... that'll be our secret weapon... it'll incapacitate most folks withou' killin' 'em... I wouldn' wanna hurt nobody..."
"Well... I hate ta spoil all yer evil plans fer takin' over the world 'n all... But no way am I movin' nowheres... So's unless yer willin' ta build yer secret lair right here... yer gonna hafta do it withou' me... Here's yer beer, dumbass..."
"Yer drinkin' tha' kind, huh...?"
"I thought ya said ya didn't care..."
"Is there another one...?"
"Here... Jus' take mine... 'n give me yers..."
"Thanks, Ed..."
"Dumbass."
"But... speakin' a super-villians... Heath Ledger damn well better win tha' best supportin' actor Oscar fer bein' The Joker... He sure as hell deserves it..."
"He sure does... He stole ev'ry scene he was in... Hell... He stole the whole damn movie..."
"Yeah... 'N least-wise he's already won the Golden Globe fer it... 'n tha' SAG award... 'n them British 'n Australian awards..."
"He's won all them awards already...?"
"Yep. 'N prob'bly more that I don't know about... But it'll still be a crime if'n he don't win an Oscar fer it too... 'N it was a crime that he didn't win an Oscar fer Brokeback... 'Course it was hard ta choose 'cause him 'n Jake Gyllenhaal were both up fer it fer Brokeback Mountain... But... still... Nobody else coulda played Ennis but him... Hell... He was Ennis... Even though yer Ennis... Kinda anyways..."
"So's... are you sayin' he was better at bein' me than I was at bein' me...?"
"Ya know damn well that ain't what I meant... Well... maybe it was what I meant... But only yer you, dumbass... 'N like I said... he was better at bein' Ennis than anybody else woulda or coulda been... 'N Jake Gyllenhaal... all the same applies ta him too about Jack... 'N he was Jack too..."
"Even though yer Jack... Kinda anyways..."
"Yep... 'N ya know... them roles... Ennis 'n The Joker... they got some things in common..."
"Ennis... and The Joker...? I think ya've fin'lly lost yer mind, Hank... I guess it was bound ta happen sooner or later..."
"I just mean... tha' both them characters are wearin' masks... kinda anyways... even though wha's behind 'em couldn't be more diff'rent... 'n Heath Ledger... he let ya see wha' was goin' on behind them masks... not just with words 'cause the words don't come close ta sayin' it all... but by bein' the character... 'N that ain't easy ta do..."
"Well... I guess I did live behind a mask fer a whole lotta years... I tried damn hard to anyways... but I don't think I was real good at it whenever you were around..."
"'N thanks be fer tha'... 'N ya know... Heath Ledger had tha' same slow smile as Ennis tha' you had... 'N when ya did fin'lly smile at somethin'... 'n when Ennis did... damn... it was one helluva smile... 'N it still is... 'Course yer smile comes a lot more often these days... 'n a lot quicker too..."
"Cut it out, Hank..."
"'N yer eyes... I read somethin' someone... I cain't remember who... said about Heath Ledger... tha' when ya looked inta his eyes ya could see how strong he was... but ya could see he was kinda fragile-like at the same time... 'n both them things are wha' drew her to him... 'N I never knew how ta describe it before... but tha's part a wha' drew me ta you so long ago... 'n it still does... only you ain't so fragile-like as ya used ta be... but you still got a look tha's... Hell... I dunno..."
"Can we jus' talk about somethin' else, dumbass...?"
"That 'n the look a sheer pain on yer face whenever I say somethin' nice ta you... tha' drew me to ya too... 'n yer fine ass of course... 'n..."
"I got news fer ya... Callin' me 'fragile' ain't nice... I ain't fragile... Hell... Tha's the last thing I am..."
"She didn't mean fragile like physic'lly fragile... more like vulnerable-like... in a good way... not a bad way..."
"Well I ain't tha' neither... Jeez..."
"Okay... okay... ya ain't fragile... or vulnerable... 'n ya never were... 'n ya never will be... Does tha' make ya feel better...?"
"No. 'N ya know sometimes you talk too damn much... Jus' like Jack did too..."
"Well Jack sure as hell never said nothin' like that ta Ennis..."
"Prob'bly 'cause he knew he woulda gotten decked if'n he did."
"'N besides... ya'd think you'd be used ta it by now..."
"Ya'd think."
"'N... I don't got the words fer it... but alls I know is... whatever it is... lookin' inta yer eyes still makes my heart thump real fast 'n my damn knees go real weak 'n my..."
"Hell... Here I am jus' tryin' ta mind my own business 'n enjoy a beer 'n relax a l'il after a hard day's work 'n you wanna start somethin' up before we've even had any dinner..."
"I weren't fixin' ta start somethin'... I was just sayin'..."
"Ya weren't...?"
"No. I weren't."
"You sure...?"
"Yep."
"Positive...?"
"Yep."
"Damn... I don't think this look a mine is workin' as well as it used ta... It must be on the fritz or somethin'..."
"Well ya keep the damn lights so damn low that I cain't hardly see ya from over here..."
"Well then maybe ya better come a l'il closer."
"Maybe I better."
"Ooomph... Dammit, Hank... Take it easy, wouldya..."
"Feelin' a l'il fragile, huh...?"
"Ya took a flyin' leap onta me, dumbass... 'N you could end up breakin' the damn couch... Again..."
"Hold on... I'll be righ' back..."
"Where the hell are ya goin'...?"
"Ya get three guesses 'n the first two don't count."
"Music."
"Yep... Here..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjOx5CCqMhk
"Roy Orbison, huh...?"
"Yep... 'Ev'ry time I look into yer lovin' eyes... I see a love tha' money jus' can't buy... One look... from you... I drift... awaay'... Well... maybe not drift away exactly... More like I get reeled in real good... But... like the song says... 'Anything you want... you got it'..."
"Anything I want, huh...?"
"Yep. You name it... Ya know I especially like it when ya name it..."
"I want wha's left of my beer back."
"No way, Mr. Whey."
"Figures."
"Nice try though... So's... anythin' else...? Within reason, I mean..."
"How 'bout ya just c'mon back over here, dumbass... a l'il more slow-like this time..."
"You got it."
"'N take off tha' t-shirt..."
"You got it."
"'N tha' belt... Take off tha' belt..."
"You got it."
"Now... yer socks... take off them socks..."
"You got it."
"'N take off them jeans..."
"You got it."
"'Goin' commando', huh...?"
"You got it."
"Laundry needs doin'...?"
"You got it."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
"You got it."
---
And the Oscar damn well better go to...
Note: Pretty short. (There should be a longer post sometime next week or the week after.) Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
And the Oscar damn well better go to...
"Hey, Ed... D'ya wanna beer...?"
"I sure do."
"Well... When ya get up ta get one fer yerself would ya bring one back fer me too...?"
"Wha' kind d'ya want, dumbass...?"
"Whatever ya grab is fine with me..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Dammit, Ed..."
"Wha'...?"
"Nothin'... I jus' figured I'm way behind on my 'Dammit, Eds' as compared ta yer 'Dammit, Hanks'... so's I thought I'd throw one out fer the helluva it..."
"Dumbass."
"So's... Wha' was tha' particular 'Dammit, Hank' in regards to...?"
"This milk... I been tryin' real hard ta ignore it... waitin' ta see exactly how long it'd take ya ta notice it 'n throw it out... but it's been weeks 'n it's still sittin' in here gettin' more 'n more disgustin' ev'ry day... I swear I could put it in the middle a the livin' room floor 'n you'd jus' keep steppin' right over it withou' even seein' it..."
"I've noticed tha' milk alrigh'..."
"Then why in the hell haven't ya thrown it out...?
'S like I gotta do ev'rythin' around here..."
"I was enjoyin' the diff'rent colors it was turnin'..."
"Dumbass."
"'N who knows... we could be makin' yogurt 'n not even know it..."
"How 'bout you go ahead 'n taste it 'n let me know."
"Tha's okay... I ain't really a big fan of home-made yogurt..."
"Then how 'bout I dump it out..."
"Jus' leave it be, Ed... I'll take care of it tomorrow..."
"Well... don't go spillin' it... 'S gonna stink ta high heaven... Remember tha' time ya tried makin' that Indian cheese 'n the milk boiled over 'n went everywheres...? Hell... even after we pulled the stove out 'n cleaned everythin' real good it still stank fer a while after that ev'ry time it got hot 'n humid..."
"Lucky fer us it don't get hot 'n humid here too often..."
"Lucky fer you ya mean."
"'N ya know... tha' cheese didn't turn out half bad... wha' was left of it anyways... Maybe we should try makin' it again sometime..."
"Tell me yer kiddin'..."
"I just shoulda used a taller pot... like tha' big ol' one my ma used ta use fer cannin'... tha's gotta be around somewheres... It's prob'bly in the cellar..."
"Yer ma... She was one helluva cook..."
"Yeah. She sure was."
"Well... how 'bout ya just start with tryin' ta dump out tha' milk withou' makin' a big ol' mess... 'N go on ta the cheesemakin' after tha'..."
"Who knows... maybe I'll spill some of tha' milk on myself 'n you'll come in ta find that I've been turned inta some kinda mutant super-villian on accounta bein exposed ta toxic sour milk..."
"'N they'll call ya Cheese Head no doubt..."
"I'd prefer ta be addressed as Mr. Cheese Head."
"Better make tha' Mr. Swiss Cheese Head... 'Cause I think ya got a a few more holes in it than yer s'posed ta..."
"'N you 'n Bill can be my henchmen...Mr. Curds 'n Mr. Whey..."
"Curds 'n Whey...? I don't think so."
"If'n you got a better idea I'm open ta suggestions... I ain't gonna be one a them hard-ass, dictatorial-type super villians... The names jus' gotta be dairy-related... 'N our secret lair will hafta be in Wisconsin... Maybe tha' place we stopped ta buy tha' Limburger cheese when we were drivin' from Madison ta Chicago with Iris..."
"Tha' limburger was good... real good... I liked it on tha' rye bread... with raw onions... But... Damn... tha' sure as hell stank ta an even higher heaven..."
"Yeah... 'n tha' smell... that'll be our secret weapon... it'll incapacitate most folks withou' killin' 'em... I wouldn' wanna hurt nobody..."
"Well... I hate ta spoil all yer evil plans fer takin' over the world 'n all... But no way am I movin' nowheres... So's unless yer willin' ta build yer secret lair right here... yer gonna hafta do it withou' me... Here's yer beer, dumbass..."
"Yer drinkin' tha' kind, huh...?"
"I thought ya said ya didn't care..."
"Is there another one...?"
"Here... Jus' take mine... 'n give me yers..."
"Thanks, Ed..."
"Dumbass."
"But... speakin' a super-villians... Heath Ledger damn well better win tha' best supportin' actor Oscar fer bein' The Joker... He sure as hell deserves it..."
"He sure does... He stole ev'ry scene he was in... Hell... He stole the whole damn movie..."
"Yeah... 'N least-wise he's already won the Golden Globe fer it... 'n tha' SAG award... 'n them British 'n Australian awards..."
"He's won all them awards already...?"
"Yep. 'N prob'bly more that I don't know about... But it'll still be a crime if'n he don't win an Oscar fer it too... 'N it was a crime that he didn't win an Oscar fer Brokeback... 'Course it was hard ta choose 'cause him 'n Jake Gyllenhaal were both up fer it fer Brokeback Mountain... But... still... Nobody else coulda played Ennis but him... Hell... He was Ennis... Even though yer Ennis... Kinda anyways..."
"So's... are you sayin' he was better at bein' me than I was at bein' me...?"
"Ya know damn well that ain't what I meant... Well... maybe it was what I meant... But only yer you, dumbass... 'N like I said... he was better at bein' Ennis than anybody else woulda or coulda been... 'N Jake Gyllenhaal... all the same applies ta him too about Jack... 'N he was Jack too..."
"Even though yer Jack... Kinda anyways..."
"Yep... 'N ya know... them roles... Ennis 'n The Joker... they got some things in common..."
"Ennis... and The Joker...? I think ya've fin'lly lost yer mind, Hank... I guess it was bound ta happen sooner or later..."
"I just mean... tha' both them characters are wearin' masks... kinda anyways... even though wha's behind 'em couldn't be more diff'rent... 'n Heath Ledger... he let ya see wha' was goin' on behind them masks... not just with words 'cause the words don't come close ta sayin' it all... but by bein' the character... 'N that ain't easy ta do..."
"Well... I guess I did live behind a mask fer a whole lotta years... I tried damn hard to anyways... but I don't think I was real good at it whenever you were around..."
"'N thanks be fer tha'... 'N ya know... Heath Ledger had tha' same slow smile as Ennis tha' you had... 'N when ya did fin'lly smile at somethin'... 'n when Ennis did... damn... it was one helluva smile... 'N it still is... 'Course yer smile comes a lot more often these days... 'n a lot quicker too..."
"Cut it out, Hank..."
"'N yer eyes... I read somethin' someone... I cain't remember who... said about Heath Ledger... tha' when ya looked inta his eyes ya could see how strong he was... but ya could see he was kinda fragile-like at the same time... 'n both them things are wha' drew her to him... 'N I never knew how ta describe it before... but tha's part a wha' drew me ta you so long ago... 'n it still does... only you ain't so fragile-like as ya used ta be... but you still got a look tha's... Hell... I dunno..."
"Can we jus' talk about somethin' else, dumbass...?"
"That 'n the look a sheer pain on yer face whenever I say somethin' nice ta you... tha' drew me to ya too... 'n yer fine ass of course... 'n..."
"I got news fer ya... Callin' me 'fragile' ain't nice... I ain't fragile... Hell... Tha's the last thing I am..."
"She didn't mean fragile like physic'lly fragile... more like vulnerable-like... in a good way... not a bad way..."
"Well I ain't tha' neither... Jeez..."
"Okay... okay... ya ain't fragile... or vulnerable... 'n ya never were... 'n ya never will be... Does tha' make ya feel better...?"
"No. 'N ya know sometimes you talk too damn much... Jus' like Jack did too..."
"Well Jack sure as hell never said nothin' like that ta Ennis..."
"Prob'bly 'cause he knew he woulda gotten decked if'n he did."
"'N besides... ya'd think you'd be used ta it by now..."
"Ya'd think."
"'N... I don't got the words fer it... but alls I know is... whatever it is... lookin' inta yer eyes still makes my heart thump real fast 'n my damn knees go real weak 'n my..."
"Hell... Here I am jus' tryin' ta mind my own business 'n enjoy a beer 'n relax a l'il after a hard day's work 'n you wanna start somethin' up before we've even had any dinner..."
"I weren't fixin' ta start somethin'... I was just sayin'..."
"Ya weren't...?"
"No. I weren't."
"You sure...?"
"Yep."
"Positive...?"
"Yep."
"Damn... I don't think this look a mine is workin' as well as it used ta... It must be on the fritz or somethin'..."
"Well ya keep the damn lights so damn low that I cain't hardly see ya from over here..."
"Well then maybe ya better come a l'il closer."
"Maybe I better."
"Ooomph... Dammit, Hank... Take it easy, wouldya..."
"Feelin' a l'il fragile, huh...?"
"Ya took a flyin' leap onta me, dumbass... 'N you could end up breakin' the damn couch... Again..."
"Hold on... I'll be righ' back..."
"Where the hell are ya goin'...?"
"Ya get three guesses 'n the first two don't count."
"Music."
"Yep... Here..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjOx5CCqMhk
"Roy Orbison, huh...?"
"Yep... 'Ev'ry time I look into yer lovin' eyes... I see a love tha' money jus' can't buy... One look... from you... I drift... awaay'... Well... maybe not drift away exactly... More like I get reeled in real good... But... like the song says... 'Anything you want... you got it'..."
"Anything I want, huh...?"
"Yep. You name it... Ya know I especially like it when ya name it..."
"I want wha's left of my beer back."
"No way, Mr. Whey."
"Figures."
"Nice try though... So's... anythin' else...? Within reason, I mean..."
"How 'bout ya just c'mon back over here, dumbass... a l'il more slow-like this time..."
"You got it."
"'N take off tha' t-shirt..."
"You got it."
"'N tha' belt... Take off tha' belt..."
"You got it."
"Now... yer socks... take off them socks..."
"You got it."
"'N take off them jeans..."
"You got it."
"'Goin' commando', huh...?"
"You got it."
"Laundry needs doin'...?"
"You got it."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
"You got it."
---