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Ed and Hank
Part 3 of... Oh baby, baby it's a wild world...
Catch-up: When we last left Ed and Hank they had finished with the closing of Ed's pa's house. (As usual, nothing much happened.) This catches up with them the day after the closing...
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Part 1 is here: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/77229.html
Part 2 is here: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/77951.html
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD0L0nyM7OY
"...Yawn... Wha' the hell is that, Hank...?"
"Ya said ya wanted ta get an early start... 'n ya slept clear through the alarm... 'n then some... so's it's yer wake up call... thanks ta another one a Betty's cds..."
"Yer the happiest girl in the whole U.S.A., huh...?"
"After a night like that I sure as hell am."
"Yeah... Me too."
"Glad ta hear it."
"I'll be righ' back..."
"I got more water heatin' so's you can wash up then... I already did... 'N I got coffee ready... 'N I checked the truck over 'n 's all fine..."
"Did ya check the radiator...?"
"Sure did."
"'N the tires...?"
"Yep."
"I should sleep in more often."
"Yeah. Ya should."
A little while later...
"Wouldya throw me tha' towel, Hank..."
"Here ya go..."
"Thanks."
"So's... How 'bout we eat us some breakfast... 'n then point tha' rusty ol' truck towards Yellowstone...?"
"Sounds good... But..."
"But wha'...?"'
"It's just... I... uh... I been thinkin'... about how I was spendin' all my time worryin' about what other folks thought... ya know... like them nurses... about me not ever goin' ta see my pa 'n tha' nursin' home... But I never asked you how you felt about me not seein' him... 'N... well... sometimes it seemed like maybe you thought I should go..."
"Wha'...? Tha' sure weren't what I intended, Ed... Hell... I just asked ya about seein' him ta make sure it weren't somethin' you wanted... or needed... ta do fer yerself... not because I thought you should go see him..."
"Well... I don't wantcha thinkin' the reason I weren't goin' ta see him was on accounta I didn't wanna face him with you by my side... 'n because I was afraid ta tell him how it is with us... 'Cause it ain't. 'N I ain't."
"Jeez, Ed... I weren't thinkin' nothin' like tha'... But... I sure as hell appreciate you sayin' it..."
"So's yer okay with me not seein' him...?"
"'Course I'm okay with it... I woulda been okay with it whatever ya decided... 'N besides... it ain't like I ever came out 'n told my folks... 'n we all lived on the same place fer a good while... So's I wouldn' expect ya ta walk up to yer pa... who's a virtual stranger to ya... 'n tell him."
"Well... ya know damn well ya didn't need ta tell yer folks... 'cause they already knew... 'N it didn't matter none to yer ma... 'N yer pa... well... after a while it didn't seem ta matter much ta him neither... not so's ya'd notice anyways..."
"Yeah... But without us he wouldna been able ta stay on tha' ranch..."
"Yeah... Ya've said tha' before... but ya seem ta have forgotten what I've said before... Yer pa didn't hafta leave ya the ranch when he died... he coulda left it to yer cousin... 'n then we woulda been in one helluva bind..."
"True 'nough."
"Okay then..."
"But... I do gotta admit... if'n ya had decided ta see yer pa it woulda been real hard fer me ta go with ya... 'cause I woulda wanted ta throttle him fer treatin' you 'n Ruth the way he did when you were kids... 'N it wouldna looked real good... me beatin' up a ninety year old man..."
"I ain't sure you could take him."
"Dumbass."
"I'm just sayin'..."
"'Course you meetin' up with yer pa woulda been one helluva scene ta witness..."
"You mean write about."
"I weren't even thinkin' about writin' about it."
"You real sure about tha'...?"
"Well it mighta crost my mind once or twice..."
"Just once or twice, huh...?"
"...But I was doin' my best ta keep outta it 'cause I didn't wanna talk ya inta doin' somethin' ya didn't wanna do just so's I could write about it... leastwise not somethin' like that anyways..."
"So's yer still gonna try 'n talk me inta doin' other stuff just so's you can write about it...?"
"You bet I am."
"Figures."
"But... Hell... I coulda jus' seen ya meetin' up with him... 'Hello, pa... I ain't seen ya in about fifty years... 'n you were a right ol' ogre when I did know ya... no offense ta ogres intended... but I'm yer son... 'n by the way... I'm queer... 'n this here is the incredibly handsome fella I been with fer a helluva long time... 'n I ain't sure if'n he's queer or not... but I got my suspicions..."
"Yeah. That's exactly what I woulda said."
"'N then he prob'bly woulda throwed his bible at us..."
"'S okay... my reflexes are still purty damn good."
"But... yer sure you don't wanna see him, Ed...? Not fer me... not fer anyone else... but just fer yer own sake...?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"Okay then... let's eat us a quick breakfast 'n pack up 'n head on up ta Yellowstone."
"Somethin' quick sounds good ta me... 'n I know exactly what I want..."
"Ooomph...! Dammit, Ed... yer lucky I landed on tha' camp pad..."
"More like yer lucky ya landed on tha' camp pad."
"This mornin' too...? After last night...? What's the occasion...?"
"Why...? You complainin'...?"
"No way. I just don't wantcha bitchin' later about not gettin' that early start ya wanted ta get..."
"I figure Yellowstone'll still be there."
"Unless that whole caldera blows up... Ya know a big chunk a tha' place is one giant volcano... even though it don't look like it... They call it a supervolcano... 'N if'n tha' thing were ta blow up it'd..."
"Shut up, Hank."
"Make me."
"Don't mind if I do."
A couple of days later at Yellowstone National Park...
"Stop the truck, Hank... Them buffalo are all agitated-like... I think them folks were gettin' way too close... 'n there's no tellin' wha' they'll do..."
"I'm stoppin'... I'm stoppin'..."
"'N wha' that one buffalo is doin' is headin' straight at us at a real good clip..."
"They sure can move when they wanna."
"You wouldn't think it lookin' at 'em."
"Damn... He's a big one..."
"You can say that again... One swing of that enormous head a his 'n he could do some real damage ta this ol' truck..."
"Well least-wise he didn't take it out on us..."
"Hell... They got plenty a signs warnin' folks ta stay away from them buffalo..."
"Yeah... But a lotta folks don't seem ta pay them signs much mind..."
"As I recall... you don't exactly pay much mind to a lotta signs yerself."
"Leastwise I read 'em 'n mull 'em over some before I decide if'n I'm gonna pay attention to 'em or not... 'N I'm sure as hell gonna pay attention ta that one..."
A little while later...
"Damn... Wouldya lookit them folks, Ed..."
"Wha' the hell do they think this is...? Disney World 'n them are mechanical buffalo put here fer their amusement...? What a buncha dumbasses..."
"Maybe I should yell at 'em ta get away from there... It's a purty short loop trail so's all them folks gotta do is go back 'n come around the way we did in order ta see wha' they wanna see..."
"Don't yell... ya know damn well tha' migh' jus' rile tha' buffalo... 'N it migh' be a small one... but they can still do a whole lotta damage..."
"Well we gotta do somethin'... I don't like the way tha' buffalo's lookin' at tha' kid... 'N like ya said before... once ya got their attention there's no tellin' wha' they're gonna do... 'N I sure don't wanna see no one get gored..."
"Me neither. Dammit..."
"Wait up, Ed..."
A few minutes later...
"Tha' was somethin', Ed..."
"It weren't nothin'."
"Yeah. It was. The way ya put yerself between tha' buffalo 'n tha' kid... 'n told them folks exactly wha' tha' buffalo could do to 'em if'n it got spooked ... all nice 'n calm-like while herdin' them folks back down the trail... Hell... You should be a ranger here..."
"No thanks. 'N I don't care wha' them adults wanna do ta theirselves... but they don't got no right puttin' their kids in harms way like tha'..."
"You tell 'em, Ed."
"I just did, dumbass."
"True 'nough."
Later...
"Damn... Wouldya lookit this..."
"Shit... Let's get outta here, Hank... It ain't worth it..."
"Ya know damn well it's a one way road... So's I cain't get outta here."
"Dammit."
"Just relax, Ed..."
"Easy fer you ta say... 'N I gotta tell ya, Hank... I appreciate you puttin' up with me these last couple a weeks 'n all..."
"Yeah... I know ya do..."
"'N yesterday... 'n this mornin'... I been tryin' real hard not ta let all this get ta me..."
"Well it sure is a whole lot busier than we expected..."
"Ya think...?"
"I've even had a whole lotta competition fer the best picture-takin' spots..."
"'N I thought this was s'posed ta be the off-season... Kinda anyways..."
"Yeah... well I thought so too... 'Course we ain't been here in a real long time... 'n the last couple a times we were here was in the fall... But tha' fella I was talkin' to... the one who works at the main lodge... he said it's been a whole lot busier a whole lot earlier than usual fer some reason this year..."
"Yeah... Well... I don't think I can take much more of it... Hell... we might as well be in the middle a some city..."
"Okay, Ed... There's some folks pullin' out... So after this lemme see if'n we can start doin' things a l'il diff'rent-like..."
"After this...?"
"Well... we did get a parkin' spot after all... Ya cain't hardly expect me ta pass it up..."
A minute later...
"Dammit, Hank... This is nuts... Ya gotta wait in line ta see the damn view..."
"It is kinda crazy, ain't it...? Hell... it's hard ta even get a picture without a piece a somebody else in it..."
"'N I swear tha' woman just took a picture of us..."
"Yeah. That happens ev'ry now 'n again... in Utah too... only you usually don't notice it..."
"Wha' the hell are you talkin' about...?"
"Well... when folks come acrost some real-life cowboys tha' they can tell actually work at it fer a livin' they cain't help but take a picture..."
"That explains why she's takin' a picture a me... But why the hell is she takin' a picture a you...?"
"Dumbass."
"Well... You stay here 'n pose fer her all ya like... I'm gonna go back 'n wait in the truck..."
"Wait a minute, Ed... Look down there... There's hardly anyone... so let's head down thataway..."
"'S worth a try anyways..."
"Lookit this, Ed... Just a few steps down from the top 'n it's a whole lot nicer already, ain't it...?"
"So far anyways..."
"Hell... Lookit all this elbow room we got..."
"'S kinda hard ta believe."
"It sure is purty, ain't it...?"
"Yep. 'N it's even purtier when ya got some room ta breathe."
"'Course we do gotta climb back up..."
"'S a small price ta pay."
"And also the main reason it ain't crowded down here."
"True 'nough."
A little while later...
"Ya know, Hank... that ended up okay... but I still ain't sure I can take much more a these crowds..."
"I know, Ed... So's..."
"So's... How 'bout we take some a them back country kinda trails... Not overnight or nothin'... we ain't prepared fer tha'... But we could just go out as far as we wanna 'n then come back the same day..."
"'Cause we don't come here fer the back country... we come here fer them hot pools 'n geysers 'n whatnot... But maybe..."
"Maybe we could just head somewheres else... 'n come back here later in the fall or somethin'..."
"Well... how 'bout we make a deal...?"
"Wha' kinda deal...?"
"First lemme put on some appropriate music..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpBEF0JYF0
"Dumbass."
"Wha'...? You don't think it's appropriate...?"
"You think yer funny, dontcha...?"
"Yep... Maaake the wooorld go awaaaay... Get it off... Get it off Ed's shoulders..."
"Dumbass."
"Okay now... my mission... should I choose ta accept it... 'n I do... is ta make the world go away fer Ed..."
"I'm bettin' tha' sure as hell's gonna be a 'Mission Impossible', Mr. Phelps..."
"Well... I won't be able ta make ev'ryone disappear... but I'll give it my best shot..."
"'N if'n ya cain't make enough folks disappear...?"
"Then we'll head somewheres else..."
"Okay. You got yerself a deal. But... ain't somethin' s'posed ta self-destruct right about now...?"
"Well I sure as hell hope it won't be this ol' truck."
Over the next few days...
"So's... we kinda been sleepin' in a l'il 'n takin' our time over breakfast... but from now on we're gonna start out real early in the day before most folks are up 'n about..."
"I think maybe this is a l'il too early, Hank."
"Don't worry, Ed... Ya know tha' fog'll burn off."
"Jus' don't hit no wildlife."
"I ain't gonna hit no wildlife."
A little later...
"It's startin' ta lift, Ed... You can even see some shadows now..."
"Yeah... But it still might take a while fer tha' sun ta come out..."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Never mind."
"'N now we practic'lly got this whole place to ourselves too..."
"I never woulda believed it."
"I gotta admit... I'm havin' a hard time believin' it myself."
"Just don't get carried away with all the elbow room 'n back up too far when yer takin' a picture 'n fall off the boardwalk..."
"Don't worry, Ed... This here's another sign I'm gonna pay real close attention to..."
"Good."
"This is real nice, aint' it...?"
"It sure is."
"'N real interestin'... 'N downright inspirin' too..."
"You don't need no more inspirin'... not along them lines anyways..."
"You complainin'...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
Later...
"So's... you about ready ta head out, Hank...?"
"Yep. 'N that's the beauty of it... when ev'ryone else is just gettin' here... we're ready ta go..."
"Yeah... well it worked fine fer early this mornin'... but whattabout the rest of the day...?"
"Well... it's bound ta be a whole lot busier now... so's our best bet is ta head off the beaten path a l'il bit..."
"I think all the paths are purty well beaten 'round here..."
"Most... but not all..."
"I fergot about this stuff..."
"Most folks do..."
"Hard ta believe these two trails are just on the other side a the road from all the craziness..."
"It sure is."
"'N these pools are real purty."
"They sure are."
"Damn... It's hard ta believe this one ain't on the beaten path..."
"Yeah... but I think it used ta be... in fact I think a road used ta go right by it..."
"Well I'm glad it don't no more."
"Me too. Jeez... I bet a picture ain't gonna do it justice."
"Don't see how it could."
"Yeah. Me neither."
"Well... apparently this here trail ain't off ev'ryone's beaten path..."
"Whaddya mean, Ed...? There ain't a soul around..."
"Yeah, there is... Look..."
"Maybe it's a dog paw-print..."
"That big...? 'N with them claws...? No way, Hank..."
"I guess tha' would be purty big fer a dog..."
"Ya think...?"
"Well least-wise it looks ta be a black bear 'n not a big ol' grizzly..."
"Tha' won't matter none if'n she's a she 'n we just happen ta be between her 'n her cubs..."
"Well let's hope we ain't... besides... that ain't a fresh print... Tha' fella I was talkin' to said it rained earlier ta day around here... So's it's least-wise from real early this mornin' or last night even..."
"Yeah. Well... tha' not bein' fresh don't mean she's long gone..."
"D'ya hear somethin' rustlin' in them trees, Ed...?"
"Don't go over there, dumbass..."
"I wouldn' wanna miss a picture..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Run, Ed!"
"Dumbass."
"I had ya goin' fer a l'il while there... didn't I...?"
"I think ya had yerself goin' too."
"True 'nough."
"Well... that ain't no rabbit paw-print... so's keep yer eyes open... 'N we'd better make some noise so's we don't s'prise her if'n she's still around... 'N if we do see her... whatever ya do... don't run..."
"Will do... Make tha' bear go away... Keep it off, keep it off Ed's shoulders..."
"Dumbass."
Later...
"So's... now what...? It's still prime time 'n there ain't nowheres else off the beaten path... not if'n we wanna see them pools 'n geysers 'n whatnot anyways..."
"We wait 'em out."
"Whaddya mean...?"
"I been noticin'... them crowds a folks come 'n go... 'n not just when there's a bus... So's... all we gotta do is wait 'em out... I bet this place clears out in hardly no time at all..."
"I ain't sure that's gonna work."
A few minutes later...
"You were sayin'...?"
"Yeah... well... maybe it ain't as purty a spot as some others so's maybe it ain't as popular..."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Well... then you were prob'bly just lucky."
"You sure about tha'...?"
"We'll see... once ain't no proof a nothin'... 'N this spot is still smaller than some a them others... "
"But... This is real nice... Ain't it, Ed...?"
"It sure is."
Later...
"Now we'll see if'n yer 'sit 'n wait 'em out' strategy really works... This here spot with them mud pots is a whole lot busier than some a them other spots..."
"Yeah... Well... fer this situation waitin' in the truck ain't gonna work... we gotta go 'n wait up by them mud pots..."
"I thought the idea was ta avoid the crowds."
"Don't worry... we will... We just gotta step outta the way 'n give it a l'il time... look... there's a free bench over there outta the thick a things..."
"How much time...?"
"I guess not too much at all..."
"Well... twice still ain't no proof a nothin'..."
"Dumbass."
And after that...
"Lookit this, Hank... there ain't no way we're gonna be able ta wait all these folks out..."
"Well... from the looks of it it's gonna be rainin' in a minute anyways... Tha' should clear most folks out..."
"I ain't walkin' around in the rain if'n I don't gotta... 'N besides... ya know damn well withou' the sun them pools don't look near so's good..."
"I don't mean we should go in the rain... but chances are it won't rain fer too long... them clouds have been movin' in 'n out purty fast all day... but most folks ain't payin' attention ta tha'... so's when it starts ta rain they'll most likely clear out 'n head ta the lodge or go ta get somethin' ta eat or somethin'..."
"So's ya wanna just sit here in the truck waitin' fer it ta start rainin'... 'N then fer it ta stop rainin'...?"
"Yep."
"'Ya know tha' could take a lot longer than we waited at them other places..."
"Yep."
"'N what exactly are we s'posed ta do while we wait...?"
"Well... once it does start rainin' 'n folks clear out we could put up tha' sun screen over the windshield 'n side windows 'n I betcha I could make the time pass real quick-like for ya..."
"No way, Hank... We're in the middle of a big ol' parkin' lot in the busiest national park in the whole country..."
"It ain't the busiest national park... I think I read that tha' Smoky Mountain National Park is the busiest..."
"Fine. The second busiest."
"I think it's more like the fourth busiest or somethin'... The Grand Canyon 'n Yosemite are busier too..."
"Well I don't care if'n it's the least busiest... the answer's still 'no way'..."
"Okay, okay..."
"But.."
"But wha'...?"
"Can I get a rain check...?"
"You sure can."
Not too long later...
"Wake up, Ed... it stopped rainin' 'n the sun just came out... kinda anyways... 'n there's no one around yet... so's let's make a break fer it..."
"I'm comin', I'm comin'..."
"I've said it before 'n I'll say it again... I bet I can make ya say tha' with a l'il more enthusiasm later on..."
"'N I wouldn't bet against it."
"Smart man."
"These boardwalks are still wet, Hank... so's don't slip 'n go fallin' off inta one a them pools that's hot enough ta kill ya..."
"I ain't gonna fall in, dumbass... Besides... the way they got these boardwalks set up ya'd really have ta work at fallin' in."
"Yeah... well I bet some folks still manage it ev'ry now 'n again...."
"See, Ed... it worked like a charm... There ain't hardly a soul around..."
"There sure ain't."
"So's... are ya beginnin' ta believe in my abilities...?"
"It's too early ta say."
"Dumbass."
"Damn... tha' sure is purty..."
"It sure is..."
"But... didn't it used ta look diff'rent...?"
"Yeah... It used ta look like that other one off the beaten path with all tha' white stuff around it... But tha' sign back there says it blew up real good one day 'n all tha' stuff blew up with it..."
"Jeez..."
"Wouldya lookit tha' though... some dumbass threw a cigarette butt in there..."
"Un-fuckin'-believable."
"Why wouldya bother ta come all this way ta see this stuff 'n then throw crap in it...?"
"My best guess is 'cause yer an idiot."
"I just wish I could reach it 'n get it outta there..."
"Don't even try, dumbass... Ya know they got folks with the right equipment ta pull stuff out... We can just tell the next ranger we see..."
"Damn... Lookit this, Ed..."
"Tha' sure is somethin'... What's this one called...?"
"Grand Prismatic Pool."
"Well it sure is..."
"Yep. On both counts."
"Too bad... it's startin' ta cloud up purty bad again... 'n gettin' purty damn dark..."
"S'okay... the sun that still is out is lightin' this place up like it's sunset..."
"Yeah... That's lit up real good."
"Ya know... yer s'posed ta be able ta see this from above if'n ya take a trail that's back behind it... it leaves from another spot up the road a bit... then ya walk down the trail... not far... just about half a mile or so...'n then when yer acrost from this here pool ya scramble up one a them hills... there ain't no official trail goin' up there though... the official trail keeps goin' to a waterfall..."
"Lemme guess... some fella you were talkin' to told ya about it...?"
"Wouldya rather I spend a whole buncha money on guidebooks...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
"Well... how 'bout we head thataway 'n hope it clears up by the time we get there..."
"Sounds good ta me. 'N look... How's tha' fer timin'...? We're leavin' just as other folks are startin' ta trickle back... Too bad they missed tha' sunshine though..."
"Ya know... I migh' be beginnin' ta believe in yer abilities, Mr. Phelps."
"Glad ta hear it."
"I'm still gonna need a l'il more proof though."
"Dumbass."
A while later...
"Damn."
"Tha' sure is somethin'..."
"It sure is."
"I'm glad we got ta see it from a l'il ways above."
"Yeah. Me too."
"'N if'n you'll notice... there ain't many other folks around up here neither..."
"I gotta admit... you did a purty good job of keepin' the world away today..."
"Yer welcome."
"Now let's see if'n you can do it tomorrow too..."
"Ya wanna bet on it...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
Later...
"So's... how 'bout we head back ta camp 'n make us some dinner...?"
"Sounds good ta me."
"Wha' the hell is that, Ed...?"
"I dunno... There ain't no geyser basins up 'round here..."
"Looks like smoke from a big ol' fire... D'ya s'pose lightnin' started somethin'...?"
"With it rainin' like it has been along with it I wouldn' think so... but I guess it's possible..."
"Wait a minute..."
"Wha'...?"
"That's tha' Madison Campground... So's tha' must be the smoke from all them campfires..."
"Damn. I'm glad we moved up ta tha' Norris campground. It's still nuts... but not as nuts as down here..."
"It sure ain't."
The next morning...
"I think we're really too early ta day, Hank..."
"Nah... it'll be fine..."
"Fine, huh...? The only other folks out here are the ones as crazy as us..."
"It's gonna lift, Ed... 'N in the meantime it's real purty just like this..."
"Yeah. I guess it is. But I still don't think tha' fog's gonna lift anytime real soon."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Well... I'm used ta Utah weather... not Wyomin' weather."
"That's yer story, huh...?"
"Yep. 'N I'm stickin' to it."
"'N see... now we're out here before ev'rybody else... Just like ya ordered..."
"Well it sure is a whole lot better withou' no one around like this... instead a mobbed like it was the other day when we were here..."
"Yer welcome."
"Thanks, Hank."
"Fer wha'...?"
"Dumbass."
"So's... since more folks are startin' ta show up... how 'bout we go 'n get us somethin' ta eat...?"
"Sounds good ta me."
Later...
"Ya know, Hank... we been bein' purty frugal... eatin' our own food all the time... So's... how 'bout we splurge 'n get us some ice cream..."
"Splurge on ice cream...? Damn... It ain't even my birthday..."
"Dumbass."
"So's... How bad d'ya want it, Ed...?"
"Not that bad."
"You go ahead 'n sit down... Or wait outside if'n ya'd rather... I'll get it fer us..."
"Thanks, Hank."
After ice cream...
"Hey... Lookit tha' buffalo, Hank... He's huge..."
"'N I think he's ignorin' the speed limit."
"If you wanna try 'n pull him over 'n make a citizen's arrest you go right ahead."
"No thanks."
"'N now look... tha' lucky bastard jus' got the last parkin' spot..."
"'Course ya know where he usually parks..."
"Anywhere he wants to."
"Yep."
Late that night...
"You asleep, Hank...?"
"Not hardly."
"Remember when I said this campground weren't as nuts as tha' Madison Campground...?"
"Yep."
"I take it back."
"It is kinda noisy tonight, ain't it...?"
"Kind of...? That's puttin' it mildly... Hell... I'd go tell 'em ta hold it down a l'il... but it's seems ta be comin' from all directions... so's I wouldn' know where ta start..."
"Yeah. We seem ta be surrounded... My guess is some man-camp ran outta room 'n sent the over-flow over here..."
"Well... ya made all them folks go away yesterday 'n today... so's how about you do it tonight too so's we can get some sleep...?"
"I betcha I could do it..."
"I was just kiddin', Hank... I don't wantcha goin' out there with how drunk some a them seem..."
"I ain't gonna go out there... Hand me Betty's cds wouldya..."
"If ya cain't beat 'em, join 'em...?"
"Not exactly... I think I saw somethin' in here tha' should do the trick..."
"One a Betty's cds is annoyin' enough ta make all them folks hightail it outta here in the middle a the night...?"
"Not exactly..."
"'N what about any neighbors out there who ain't takin' part in the free-fer-all...? It'd be righ' rude of us ta contribute ta the din..."
"I'll put it on nice 'n quiet like..."
"I don't think that's gonna help..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1RlqiPnQX8
"C'mere, Ed... I gotta whisper in yer ear... 'There's a kind of hussshhhh all over the world tonight... All over the world you can hear the sounds of lovers in love... Ya know what I mean... just the two of usss and nobody elssse in sight... there's nobody elssse 'n I'm feelin' good just holdin' ya tight'..."
"Dammit... cut it out, Hank... tha' tickles..."
"Man-up, Ed... Don't make me hold ya down... 'So listen very carefully... come closer now 'n you will see what I mean... It isn't a dream... the only sound that you will hear is when I whisper in yer ear... I love you... forever 'n ever'... I love you, Ed... ferever 'n ever..."
"I love you too, Hank. But..."
"But wha'...?"
"Ya know... even after all these years... sometimes it still seems like it must be a dream..."
"Wouldya stop sayin' that, Ed... You say tha' way too often..."
"Okay, okay... I'll stop sayin' it..."
"Besides... I have it on good authority that it ain't a dream."
"Good ta know."
"'N now... I'm gonna make all them folks disappear fer ya..."
"Wha' folks...?"
"Exactly."
~~~
Part 3 of... Oh baby, baby it's a wild world...
Catch-up: When we last left Ed and Hank they had finished with the closing of Ed's pa's house. (As usual, nothing much happened.) This catches up with them the day after the closing...
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Part 1 is here: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/77229.html
Part 2 is here: http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/77951.html
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD0L0nyM7OY
"...Yawn... Wha' the hell is that, Hank...?"
"Ya said ya wanted ta get an early start... 'n ya slept clear through the alarm... 'n then some... so's it's yer wake up call... thanks ta another one a Betty's cds..."
"Yer the happiest girl in the whole U.S.A., huh...?"
"After a night like that I sure as hell am."
"Yeah... Me too."
"Glad ta hear it."
"I'll be righ' back..."
"I got more water heatin' so's you can wash up then... I already did... 'N I got coffee ready... 'N I checked the truck over 'n 's all fine..."
"Did ya check the radiator...?"
"Sure did."
"'N the tires...?"
"Yep."
"I should sleep in more often."
"Yeah. Ya should."
A little while later...
"Wouldya throw me tha' towel, Hank..."
"Here ya go..."
"Thanks."
"So's... How 'bout we eat us some breakfast... 'n then point tha' rusty ol' truck towards Yellowstone...?"
"Sounds good... But..."
"But wha'...?"'
"It's just... I... uh... I been thinkin'... about how I was spendin' all my time worryin' about what other folks thought... ya know... like them nurses... about me not ever goin' ta see my pa 'n tha' nursin' home... But I never asked you how you felt about me not seein' him... 'N... well... sometimes it seemed like maybe you thought I should go..."
"Wha'...? Tha' sure weren't what I intended, Ed... Hell... I just asked ya about seein' him ta make sure it weren't somethin' you wanted... or needed... ta do fer yerself... not because I thought you should go see him..."
"Well... I don't wantcha thinkin' the reason I weren't goin' ta see him was on accounta I didn't wanna face him with you by my side... 'n because I was afraid ta tell him how it is with us... 'Cause it ain't. 'N I ain't."
"Jeez, Ed... I weren't thinkin' nothin' like tha'... But... I sure as hell appreciate you sayin' it..."
"So's yer okay with me not seein' him...?"
"'Course I'm okay with it... I woulda been okay with it whatever ya decided... 'N besides... it ain't like I ever came out 'n told my folks... 'n we all lived on the same place fer a good while... So's I wouldn' expect ya ta walk up to yer pa... who's a virtual stranger to ya... 'n tell him."
"Well... ya know damn well ya didn't need ta tell yer folks... 'cause they already knew... 'N it didn't matter none to yer ma... 'N yer pa... well... after a while it didn't seem ta matter much ta him neither... not so's ya'd notice anyways..."
"Yeah... But without us he wouldna been able ta stay on tha' ranch..."
"Yeah... Ya've said tha' before... but ya seem ta have forgotten what I've said before... Yer pa didn't hafta leave ya the ranch when he died... he coulda left it to yer cousin... 'n then we woulda been in one helluva bind..."
"True 'nough."
"Okay then..."
"But... I do gotta admit... if'n ya had decided ta see yer pa it woulda been real hard fer me ta go with ya... 'cause I woulda wanted ta throttle him fer treatin' you 'n Ruth the way he did when you were kids... 'N it wouldna looked real good... me beatin' up a ninety year old man..."
"I ain't sure you could take him."
"Dumbass."
"I'm just sayin'..."
"'Course you meetin' up with yer pa woulda been one helluva scene ta witness..."
"You mean write about."
"I weren't even thinkin' about writin' about it."
"You real sure about tha'...?"
"Well it mighta crost my mind once or twice..."
"Just once or twice, huh...?"
"...But I was doin' my best ta keep outta it 'cause I didn't wanna talk ya inta doin' somethin' ya didn't wanna do just so's I could write about it... leastwise not somethin' like that anyways..."
"So's yer still gonna try 'n talk me inta doin' other stuff just so's you can write about it...?"
"You bet I am."
"Figures."
"But... Hell... I coulda jus' seen ya meetin' up with him... 'Hello, pa... I ain't seen ya in about fifty years... 'n you were a right ol' ogre when I did know ya... no offense ta ogres intended... but I'm yer son... 'n by the way... I'm queer... 'n this here is the incredibly handsome fella I been with fer a helluva long time... 'n I ain't sure if'n he's queer or not... but I got my suspicions..."
"Yeah. That's exactly what I woulda said."
"'N then he prob'bly woulda throwed his bible at us..."
"'S okay... my reflexes are still purty damn good."
"But... yer sure you don't wanna see him, Ed...? Not fer me... not fer anyone else... but just fer yer own sake...?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"Okay then... let's eat us a quick breakfast 'n pack up 'n head on up ta Yellowstone."
"Somethin' quick sounds good ta me... 'n I know exactly what I want..."
"Ooomph...! Dammit, Ed... yer lucky I landed on tha' camp pad..."
"More like yer lucky ya landed on tha' camp pad."
"This mornin' too...? After last night...? What's the occasion...?"
"Why...? You complainin'...?"
"No way. I just don't wantcha bitchin' later about not gettin' that early start ya wanted ta get..."
"I figure Yellowstone'll still be there."
"Unless that whole caldera blows up... Ya know a big chunk a tha' place is one giant volcano... even though it don't look like it... They call it a supervolcano... 'N if'n tha' thing were ta blow up it'd..."
"Shut up, Hank."
"Make me."
"Don't mind if I do."
A couple of days later at Yellowstone National Park...
"Stop the truck, Hank... Them buffalo are all agitated-like... I think them folks were gettin' way too close... 'n there's no tellin' wha' they'll do..."
"I'm stoppin'... I'm stoppin'..."
"'N wha' that one buffalo is doin' is headin' straight at us at a real good clip..."
"They sure can move when they wanna."
"You wouldn't think it lookin' at 'em."
"Damn... He's a big one..."
"You can say that again... One swing of that enormous head a his 'n he could do some real damage ta this ol' truck..."
"Well least-wise he didn't take it out on us..."
"Hell... They got plenty a signs warnin' folks ta stay away from them buffalo..."
"Yeah... But a lotta folks don't seem ta pay them signs much mind..."
"As I recall... you don't exactly pay much mind to a lotta signs yerself."
"Leastwise I read 'em 'n mull 'em over some before I decide if'n I'm gonna pay attention to 'em or not... 'N I'm sure as hell gonna pay attention ta that one..."
A little while later...
"Damn... Wouldya lookit them folks, Ed..."
"Wha' the hell do they think this is...? Disney World 'n them are mechanical buffalo put here fer their amusement...? What a buncha dumbasses..."
"Maybe I should yell at 'em ta get away from there... It's a purty short loop trail so's all them folks gotta do is go back 'n come around the way we did in order ta see wha' they wanna see..."
"Don't yell... ya know damn well tha' migh' jus' rile tha' buffalo... 'N it migh' be a small one... but they can still do a whole lotta damage..."
"Well we gotta do somethin'... I don't like the way tha' buffalo's lookin' at tha' kid... 'N like ya said before... once ya got their attention there's no tellin' wha' they're gonna do... 'N I sure don't wanna see no one get gored..."
"Me neither. Dammit..."
"Wait up, Ed..."
A few minutes later...
"Tha' was somethin', Ed..."
"It weren't nothin'."
"Yeah. It was. The way ya put yerself between tha' buffalo 'n tha' kid... 'n told them folks exactly wha' tha' buffalo could do to 'em if'n it got spooked ... all nice 'n calm-like while herdin' them folks back down the trail... Hell... You should be a ranger here..."
"No thanks. 'N I don't care wha' them adults wanna do ta theirselves... but they don't got no right puttin' their kids in harms way like tha'..."
"You tell 'em, Ed."
"I just did, dumbass."
"True 'nough."
Later...
"Damn... Wouldya lookit this..."
"Shit... Let's get outta here, Hank... It ain't worth it..."
"Ya know damn well it's a one way road... So's I cain't get outta here."
"Dammit."
"Just relax, Ed..."
"Easy fer you ta say... 'N I gotta tell ya, Hank... I appreciate you puttin' up with me these last couple a weeks 'n all..."
"Yeah... I know ya do..."
"'N yesterday... 'n this mornin'... I been tryin' real hard not ta let all this get ta me..."
"Well it sure is a whole lot busier than we expected..."
"Ya think...?"
"I've even had a whole lotta competition fer the best picture-takin' spots..."
"'N I thought this was s'posed ta be the off-season... Kinda anyways..."
"Yeah... well I thought so too... 'Course we ain't been here in a real long time... 'n the last couple a times we were here was in the fall... But tha' fella I was talkin' to... the one who works at the main lodge... he said it's been a whole lot busier a whole lot earlier than usual fer some reason this year..."
"Yeah... Well... I don't think I can take much more of it... Hell... we might as well be in the middle a some city..."
"Okay, Ed... There's some folks pullin' out... So after this lemme see if'n we can start doin' things a l'il diff'rent-like..."
"After this...?"
"Well... we did get a parkin' spot after all... Ya cain't hardly expect me ta pass it up..."
A minute later...
"Dammit, Hank... This is nuts... Ya gotta wait in line ta see the damn view..."
"It is kinda crazy, ain't it...? Hell... it's hard ta even get a picture without a piece a somebody else in it..."
"'N I swear tha' woman just took a picture of us..."
"Yeah. That happens ev'ry now 'n again... in Utah too... only you usually don't notice it..."
"Wha' the hell are you talkin' about...?"
"Well... when folks come acrost some real-life cowboys tha' they can tell actually work at it fer a livin' they cain't help but take a picture..."
"That explains why she's takin' a picture a me... But why the hell is she takin' a picture a you...?"
"Dumbass."
"Well... You stay here 'n pose fer her all ya like... I'm gonna go back 'n wait in the truck..."
"Wait a minute, Ed... Look down there... There's hardly anyone... so let's head down thataway..."
"'S worth a try anyways..."
"Lookit this, Ed... Just a few steps down from the top 'n it's a whole lot nicer already, ain't it...?"
"So far anyways..."
"Hell... Lookit all this elbow room we got..."
"'S kinda hard ta believe."
"It sure is purty, ain't it...?"
"Yep. 'N it's even purtier when ya got some room ta breathe."
"'Course we do gotta climb back up..."
"'S a small price ta pay."
"And also the main reason it ain't crowded down here."
"True 'nough."
A little while later...
"Ya know, Hank... that ended up okay... but I still ain't sure I can take much more a these crowds..."
"I know, Ed... So's..."
"So's... How 'bout we take some a them back country kinda trails... Not overnight or nothin'... we ain't prepared fer tha'... But we could just go out as far as we wanna 'n then come back the same day..."
"'Cause we don't come here fer the back country... we come here fer them hot pools 'n geysers 'n whatnot... But maybe..."
"Maybe we could just head somewheres else... 'n come back here later in the fall or somethin'..."
"Well... how 'bout we make a deal...?"
"Wha' kinda deal...?"
"First lemme put on some appropriate music..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIpBEF0JYF0
"Dumbass."
"Wha'...? You don't think it's appropriate...?"
"You think yer funny, dontcha...?"
"Yep... Maaake the wooorld go awaaaay... Get it off... Get it off Ed's shoulders..."
"Dumbass."
"Okay now... my mission... should I choose ta accept it... 'n I do... is ta make the world go away fer Ed..."
"I'm bettin' tha' sure as hell's gonna be a 'Mission Impossible', Mr. Phelps..."
"Well... I won't be able ta make ev'ryone disappear... but I'll give it my best shot..."
"'N if'n ya cain't make enough folks disappear...?"
"Then we'll head somewheres else..."
"Okay. You got yerself a deal. But... ain't somethin' s'posed ta self-destruct right about now...?"
"Well I sure as hell hope it won't be this ol' truck."
Over the next few days...
"So's... we kinda been sleepin' in a l'il 'n takin' our time over breakfast... but from now on we're gonna start out real early in the day before most folks are up 'n about..."
"I think maybe this is a l'il too early, Hank."
"Don't worry, Ed... Ya know tha' fog'll burn off."
"Jus' don't hit no wildlife."
"I ain't gonna hit no wildlife."
A little later...
"It's startin' ta lift, Ed... You can even see some shadows now..."
"Yeah... But it still might take a while fer tha' sun ta come out..."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Never mind."
"'N now we practic'lly got this whole place to ourselves too..."
"I never woulda believed it."
"I gotta admit... I'm havin' a hard time believin' it myself."
"Just don't get carried away with all the elbow room 'n back up too far when yer takin' a picture 'n fall off the boardwalk..."
"Don't worry, Ed... This here's another sign I'm gonna pay real close attention to..."
"Good."
"This is real nice, aint' it...?"
"It sure is."
"'N real interestin'... 'N downright inspirin' too..."
"You don't need no more inspirin'... not along them lines anyways..."
"You complainin'...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
Later...
"So's... you about ready ta head out, Hank...?"
"Yep. 'N that's the beauty of it... when ev'ryone else is just gettin' here... we're ready ta go..."
"Yeah... well it worked fine fer early this mornin'... but whattabout the rest of the day...?"
"Well... it's bound ta be a whole lot busier now... so's our best bet is ta head off the beaten path a l'il bit..."
"I think all the paths are purty well beaten 'round here..."
"Most... but not all..."
"I fergot about this stuff..."
"Most folks do..."
"Hard ta believe these two trails are just on the other side a the road from all the craziness..."
"It sure is."
"'N these pools are real purty."
"They sure are."
"Damn... It's hard ta believe this one ain't on the beaten path..."
"Yeah... but I think it used ta be... in fact I think a road used ta go right by it..."
"Well I'm glad it don't no more."
"Me too. Jeez... I bet a picture ain't gonna do it justice."
"Don't see how it could."
"Yeah. Me neither."
"Well... apparently this here trail ain't off ev'ryone's beaten path..."
"Whaddya mean, Ed...? There ain't a soul around..."
"Yeah, there is... Look..."
"Maybe it's a dog paw-print..."
"That big...? 'N with them claws...? No way, Hank..."
"I guess tha' would be purty big fer a dog..."
"Ya think...?"
"Well least-wise it looks ta be a black bear 'n not a big ol' grizzly..."
"Tha' won't matter none if'n she's a she 'n we just happen ta be between her 'n her cubs..."
"Well let's hope we ain't... besides... that ain't a fresh print... Tha' fella I was talkin' to said it rained earlier ta day around here... So's it's least-wise from real early this mornin' or last night even..."
"Yeah. Well... tha' not bein' fresh don't mean she's long gone..."
"D'ya hear somethin' rustlin' in them trees, Ed...?"
"Don't go over there, dumbass..."
"I wouldn' wanna miss a picture..."
"Dammit, Hank..."
"Run, Ed!"
"Dumbass."
"I had ya goin' fer a l'il while there... didn't I...?"
"I think ya had yerself goin' too."
"True 'nough."
"Well... that ain't no rabbit paw-print... so's keep yer eyes open... 'N we'd better make some noise so's we don't s'prise her if'n she's still around... 'N if we do see her... whatever ya do... don't run..."
"Will do... Make tha' bear go away... Keep it off, keep it off Ed's shoulders..."
"Dumbass."
Later...
"So's... now what...? It's still prime time 'n there ain't nowheres else off the beaten path... not if'n we wanna see them pools 'n geysers 'n whatnot anyways..."
"We wait 'em out."
"Whaddya mean...?"
"I been noticin'... them crowds a folks come 'n go... 'n not just when there's a bus... So's... all we gotta do is wait 'em out... I bet this place clears out in hardly no time at all..."
"I ain't sure that's gonna work."
A few minutes later...
"You were sayin'...?"
"Yeah... well... maybe it ain't as purty a spot as some others so's maybe it ain't as popular..."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Well... then you were prob'bly just lucky."
"You sure about tha'...?"
"We'll see... once ain't no proof a nothin'... 'N this spot is still smaller than some a them others... "
"But... This is real nice... Ain't it, Ed...?"
"It sure is."
Later...
"Now we'll see if'n yer 'sit 'n wait 'em out' strategy really works... This here spot with them mud pots is a whole lot busier than some a them other spots..."
"Yeah... Well... fer this situation waitin' in the truck ain't gonna work... we gotta go 'n wait up by them mud pots..."
"I thought the idea was ta avoid the crowds."
"Don't worry... we will... We just gotta step outta the way 'n give it a l'il time... look... there's a free bench over there outta the thick a things..."
"How much time...?"
"I guess not too much at all..."
"Well... twice still ain't no proof a nothin'..."
"Dumbass."
And after that...
"Lookit this, Hank... there ain't no way we're gonna be able ta wait all these folks out..."
"Well... from the looks of it it's gonna be rainin' in a minute anyways... Tha' should clear most folks out..."
"I ain't walkin' around in the rain if'n I don't gotta... 'N besides... ya know damn well withou' the sun them pools don't look near so's good..."
"I don't mean we should go in the rain... but chances are it won't rain fer too long... them clouds have been movin' in 'n out purty fast all day... but most folks ain't payin' attention ta tha'... so's when it starts ta rain they'll most likely clear out 'n head ta the lodge or go ta get somethin' ta eat or somethin'..."
"So's ya wanna just sit here in the truck waitin' fer it ta start rainin'... 'N then fer it ta stop rainin'...?"
"Yep."
"'Ya know tha' could take a lot longer than we waited at them other places..."
"Yep."
"'N what exactly are we s'posed ta do while we wait...?"
"Well... once it does start rainin' 'n folks clear out we could put up tha' sun screen over the windshield 'n side windows 'n I betcha I could make the time pass real quick-like for ya..."
"No way, Hank... We're in the middle of a big ol' parkin' lot in the busiest national park in the whole country..."
"It ain't the busiest national park... I think I read that tha' Smoky Mountain National Park is the busiest..."
"Fine. The second busiest."
"I think it's more like the fourth busiest or somethin'... The Grand Canyon 'n Yosemite are busier too..."
"Well I don't care if'n it's the least busiest... the answer's still 'no way'..."
"Okay, okay..."
"But.."
"But wha'...?"
"Can I get a rain check...?"
"You sure can."
Not too long later...
"Wake up, Ed... it stopped rainin' 'n the sun just came out... kinda anyways... 'n there's no one around yet... so's let's make a break fer it..."
"I'm comin', I'm comin'..."
"I've said it before 'n I'll say it again... I bet I can make ya say tha' with a l'il more enthusiasm later on..."
"'N I wouldn't bet against it."
"Smart man."
"These boardwalks are still wet, Hank... so's don't slip 'n go fallin' off inta one a them pools that's hot enough ta kill ya..."
"I ain't gonna fall in, dumbass... Besides... the way they got these boardwalks set up ya'd really have ta work at fallin' in."
"Yeah... well I bet some folks still manage it ev'ry now 'n again...."
"See, Ed... it worked like a charm... There ain't hardly a soul around..."
"There sure ain't."
"So's... are ya beginnin' ta believe in my abilities...?"
"It's too early ta say."
"Dumbass."
"Damn... tha' sure is purty..."
"It sure is..."
"But... didn't it used ta look diff'rent...?"
"Yeah... It used ta look like that other one off the beaten path with all tha' white stuff around it... But tha' sign back there says it blew up real good one day 'n all tha' stuff blew up with it..."
"Jeez..."
"Wouldya lookit tha' though... some dumbass threw a cigarette butt in there..."
"Un-fuckin'-believable."
"Why wouldya bother ta come all this way ta see this stuff 'n then throw crap in it...?"
"My best guess is 'cause yer an idiot."
"I just wish I could reach it 'n get it outta there..."
"Don't even try, dumbass... Ya know they got folks with the right equipment ta pull stuff out... We can just tell the next ranger we see..."
"Damn... Lookit this, Ed..."
"Tha' sure is somethin'... What's this one called...?"
"Grand Prismatic Pool."
"Well it sure is..."
"Yep. On both counts."
"Too bad... it's startin' ta cloud up purty bad again... 'n gettin' purty damn dark..."
"S'okay... the sun that still is out is lightin' this place up like it's sunset..."
"Yeah... That's lit up real good."
"Ya know... yer s'posed ta be able ta see this from above if'n ya take a trail that's back behind it... it leaves from another spot up the road a bit... then ya walk down the trail... not far... just about half a mile or so...'n then when yer acrost from this here pool ya scramble up one a them hills... there ain't no official trail goin' up there though... the official trail keeps goin' to a waterfall..."
"Lemme guess... some fella you were talkin' to told ya about it...?"
"Wouldya rather I spend a whole buncha money on guidebooks...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
"Well... how 'bout we head thataway 'n hope it clears up by the time we get there..."
"Sounds good ta me. 'N look... How's tha' fer timin'...? We're leavin' just as other folks are startin' ta trickle back... Too bad they missed tha' sunshine though..."
"Ya know... I migh' be beginnin' ta believe in yer abilities, Mr. Phelps."
"Glad ta hear it."
"I'm still gonna need a l'il more proof though."
"Dumbass."
A while later...
"Damn."
"Tha' sure is somethin'..."
"It sure is."
"I'm glad we got ta see it from a l'il ways above."
"Yeah. Me too."
"'N if'n you'll notice... there ain't many other folks around up here neither..."
"I gotta admit... you did a purty good job of keepin' the world away today..."
"Yer welcome."
"Now let's see if'n you can do it tomorrow too..."
"Ya wanna bet on it...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
Later...
"So's... how 'bout we head back ta camp 'n make us some dinner...?"
"Sounds good ta me."
"Wha' the hell is that, Ed...?"
"I dunno... There ain't no geyser basins up 'round here..."
"Looks like smoke from a big ol' fire... D'ya s'pose lightnin' started somethin'...?"
"With it rainin' like it has been along with it I wouldn' think so... but I guess it's possible..."
"Wait a minute..."
"Wha'...?"
"That's tha' Madison Campground... So's tha' must be the smoke from all them campfires..."
"Damn. I'm glad we moved up ta tha' Norris campground. It's still nuts... but not as nuts as down here..."
"It sure ain't."
The next morning...
"I think we're really too early ta day, Hank..."
"Nah... it'll be fine..."
"Fine, huh...? The only other folks out here are the ones as crazy as us..."
"It's gonna lift, Ed... 'N in the meantime it's real purty just like this..."
"Yeah. I guess it is. But I still don't think tha' fog's gonna lift anytime real soon."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Well... I'm used ta Utah weather... not Wyomin' weather."
"That's yer story, huh...?"
"Yep. 'N I'm stickin' to it."
"'N see... now we're out here before ev'rybody else... Just like ya ordered..."
"Well it sure is a whole lot better withou' no one around like this... instead a mobbed like it was the other day when we were here..."
"Yer welcome."
"Thanks, Hank."
"Fer wha'...?"
"Dumbass."
"So's... since more folks are startin' ta show up... how 'bout we go 'n get us somethin' ta eat...?"
"Sounds good ta me."
Later...
"Ya know, Hank... we been bein' purty frugal... eatin' our own food all the time... So's... how 'bout we splurge 'n get us some ice cream..."
"Splurge on ice cream...? Damn... It ain't even my birthday..."
"Dumbass."
"So's... How bad d'ya want it, Ed...?"
"Not that bad."
"You go ahead 'n sit down... Or wait outside if'n ya'd rather... I'll get it fer us..."
"Thanks, Hank."
After ice cream...
"Hey... Lookit tha' buffalo, Hank... He's huge..."
"'N I think he's ignorin' the speed limit."
"If you wanna try 'n pull him over 'n make a citizen's arrest you go right ahead."
"No thanks."
"'N now look... tha' lucky bastard jus' got the last parkin' spot..."
"'Course ya know where he usually parks..."
"Anywhere he wants to."
"Yep."
Late that night...
"You asleep, Hank...?"
"Not hardly."
"Remember when I said this campground weren't as nuts as tha' Madison Campground...?"
"Yep."
"I take it back."
"It is kinda noisy tonight, ain't it...?"
"Kind of...? That's puttin' it mildly... Hell... I'd go tell 'em ta hold it down a l'il... but it's seems ta be comin' from all directions... so's I wouldn' know where ta start..."
"Yeah. We seem ta be surrounded... My guess is some man-camp ran outta room 'n sent the over-flow over here..."
"Well... ya made all them folks go away yesterday 'n today... so's how about you do it tonight too so's we can get some sleep...?"
"I betcha I could do it..."
"I was just kiddin', Hank... I don't wantcha goin' out there with how drunk some a them seem..."
"I ain't gonna go out there... Hand me Betty's cds wouldya..."
"If ya cain't beat 'em, join 'em...?"
"Not exactly... I think I saw somethin' in here tha' should do the trick..."
"One a Betty's cds is annoyin' enough ta make all them folks hightail it outta here in the middle a the night...?"
"Not exactly..."
"'N what about any neighbors out there who ain't takin' part in the free-fer-all...? It'd be righ' rude of us ta contribute ta the din..."
"I'll put it on nice 'n quiet like..."
"I don't think that's gonna help..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1RlqiPnQX8
"C'mere, Ed... I gotta whisper in yer ear... 'There's a kind of hussshhhh all over the world tonight... All over the world you can hear the sounds of lovers in love... Ya know what I mean... just the two of usss and nobody elssse in sight... there's nobody elssse 'n I'm feelin' good just holdin' ya tight'..."
"Dammit... cut it out, Hank... tha' tickles..."
"Man-up, Ed... Don't make me hold ya down... 'So listen very carefully... come closer now 'n you will see what I mean... It isn't a dream... the only sound that you will hear is when I whisper in yer ear... I love you... forever 'n ever'... I love you, Ed... ferever 'n ever..."
"I love you too, Hank. But..."
"But wha'...?"
"Ya know... even after all these years... sometimes it still seems like it must be a dream..."
"Wouldya stop sayin' that, Ed... You say tha' way too often..."
"Okay, okay... I'll stop sayin' it..."
"Besides... I have it on good authority that it ain't a dream."
"Good ta know."
"'N now... I'm gonna make all them folks disappear fer ya..."
"Wha' folks...?"
"Exactly."
~~~