Ed and Hank
Ed and Hank
One Helluva Christmas Miracle...
Includin'... a new post... then a New Year's greetin'... then an update... then another update... then a postscript...
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
"ED...! ED...!!!! Where the hell are ya...?!?"
"I'm right here... Wha' the hell is wrong...?"
"Get yer ass in the house 'n put on yer best jeans 'n yer best shirt 'n yer best belt 'n boots..."
"Wha' the hell are you talkin' 'bout...?"
"Tha' federal judge... Shelby... weren't 'xpectin' his rulin' 'til January... fer tha' case where them three same-sex couples sued the state... But he ruled early... 'N he overturned Utah's ban on same-sex marriage... I cain't even believe I'm sayin' these words... But... At this very moment in time it's LEGAL fer us ta get married in this here state... in Utah...!!!"
"Ha. Ha. April Fool's Day ain't 'til April, dumbass."
"I. Ain't. Kiddin'!!! The dumbass state's attorneys didn't file no request fer a preemptive stay in case they lost... Guess they were jus' too damn arrogant 'n couldn' believe a judge wouldn't uphold their bigotry... So's the second tha' judge made his rulin'... same-sex marriage became legal. In Utah!!!"
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
"I told ya... I AIN'T KIDDIN'!!! ButwegottaHURRYIalreadycalledthecountymarriagelicenseplace'nthey'llgiveusalicenseButwegottafindourselvesajudge'Nwegottaget thereahalfhourbeforeclosin'at4:30..."
"We won't make it no more today... 'S already after 4:00."
"ButweGOTTABeforethestatefilesarequesttastaytha'judge'srulin'onMonday'nmaybegetsitallstoppedfernow..."
"We still ain't gonna make it in time. There's just no way."
"Not the way you drive anyways."
"Not the way you drive neither... Hell... not the way no one drives..."
"Dammit... 'Cain't believe I picked ta day of all days ta spend workin' outside with ya 'n missed seein' it the minute it were reported..."
"Hell... I cain't believe ya picked any day ta spend workin' outside with me."
"Dumbass."
"'S gonna be okay, Hank... Maybe we'll still be able ta do it on Monday..."
"Yeah. Maybe. Dammit."
That evening...
"Okay, Ed... Looks like fer sure we'll get a small window a time ta get hitched Monday mornin'... 'Fore tha' judge hears' the state's request ta stay his rulin' pendin' their appeal... So's... How 'bout this... We know fer a fact we can find someone to marry us in Salt Lake City... So's... How 'bout we head up there Sunday... Make sure Bill 'n Betty can watch the place... 'N tha' way we can get up 'fore the crack a dawn in be in line first thing on Monday mornin'...?"
"Always wondered what it would take..."
"What're ya talkin' about...?"
"What it would take ta get you up 'fore the crack a dawn."
"Dumbass. So's... How 'bout it, Ed...?"
"Yer fergettin' one real important thing..."
"Wha' migh' tha' be...?"
"Well... I... uh... I can't even imagine wha' my life woulda been like withou' ya..."
"Me neither, Ed... Hell... when I think a..."
"Hank... Wouldya shut up fer justa minute..."
"Okay, okay..."
"So's... I was wonderin'... uh... if'n ya'd do me the honor a marryin' me... all legal-like 'n all, Hank...?"
"........"
"Hank...?"
"Can I talk now...?"
"Yep."
"I sure as hell will!"
"C'mere, dumbass..."
Later that night...
"Hey, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"You don't want diff'rent rings than the ones we got... Do ya...?"
"No way in hell. I love our rings. But... do you want somethin' diff'rent, Ed...?"
"Nope."
"Good."
"'N... Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"You okay...? Gettin' married all quick like this...? Not bein' able ta plan nothin' or nothin'...?"
"I'm okay... 'Course I'd prefer ta be able ta plan somethin'... But we had tha' big s'prise party tha' Bill 'n Betty threw fer us fer our name-changin'... 'N tha' weren't too long ago... So's I'm lookin' at it like we're jus' doin' things a l'il backwards... 'Sides... we can throw us a big ol' party later on... ta celebrate... Like maybe fer our one year anniversary...? Or six months even... weather'd be a lot better in six months... if'n we wanna..."
"Sounds good."
"You don't mean tha' fer a minute... I know fer a fact you hate parties."
"I'll make an exception fer a weddin' party... 'Least-wise if'n it's ours."
"Thanks, Ed."
"Yer welcome."
"I'm gonna put some music on... 'N... fer tonight.... I'm gonna pick us one helluva special-like song..."
"I dunno, Hank... Maybe we shouldn't oughta do tha'... Ya know... save it up now fer Monday night 'n all..."
"You serious...? Ya wanna save ourselves fer our wedddin' night...?"
"I dunno... Migh' be kinda fun... Ya know... ta wait 'til then... Be more special-like maybe..."
"Sorry, Ed... No way am I not jumpin' on ya the night a the day it became legal-like fer us ta get married..."
"Guess it were kinda a dumb idea..."
"It ain't dumb... How 'bout we do tha' tomorrow night 'n Sunday night...? Not do it, I mean..."
"Really...?"
"Yeah. Why the hell not...?"
A few minutes later...
"Wha' the hell is takin' so damn long, Hank...?"
"Well... I had me the singers picked out a loooong time ago fer this here occasion... But I never got around ta pickin' out the 'xact song on accounta I never 'xpected this so damn soon..."
"Jus' pick somethin', wouldya..."
"Well... I guess this one'll do righ' well... Damn ads... Here... Here we go..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4BWhvIlFVE
"Dumbass."
"What 'xactly could be more 'propriate than the folks who tried to keep us from gettin' the same civil rights they got serenadin' us on the night we get 'em...?"
"Ya really 'xpect me ta... uh... have at ya... ta them singin' a religious song...?"
"I sure do... Hell... That whole choir brandishin' pitchforks couldn't stop me..."
"Well... dontcha think yer celebratin' migh' be a l'il... uh... premature... Them folks are bound ta appeal... Ain't tha' why they wanna stay tha' judge's rulin'... 'Cause they think the next court'll overturn him...?"
"Yeah. 'Ceptin' tha' no fed'ral court has ever ruled ta take away constitutional rights once they been awarded... 'N withou' no stay ta day a whole buncha folks were already able ta put a claim on them rights by gettin' hitched legal-like... So's them bigots may win another battle or two... but from here on out... it's purty damn certain tha' they sure as hell ain't gonna win the war."
"It's just... I ain't sure I wanna listen ta them folks singin' when we should be celebratin'... Sticks in my craw some..."
"Okay, Ed... I'll change the music... Migh' take me a minute ta figure out somethin' else..."
"Jus' put on Johnny Cash 'n be done with it."
"No way. This here occasion calls fer somethin' real special-like... I think I got it... Lemme see if'n I can find it here..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7w3traHbTU
"Dumbass."
"Hey, hey, Edward... I wanna marry you...Hey, hey Edward, no one else could ever do... I've waited so long for them bigots ta lose... Edward, I can't wait no more for you... My love, my love..."
"Hey, hey, dumbass... I wanna marry you too."
"Glad ta hear it. Now, c'mon over here 'n show me 'xactly how much..."
"I dunno... You think you can handle tha' much...?"
"Try me."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
The next day...
"I just heard, Ed... Tha' Judge Shelby... He turned down an emergency request fer a stay the state attorney asked fer..."
"Does that mean we don't gotta be in such a hurry...?"
"It's a real good sign... But... accordin' ta the news... he's still gonna give 'em another chance at 9:00 on Monday mornin'..."
"So's... we should jus' keep ev'rythin' the way it's planned."
"Yep. But... Ya know somethin', Ed... I'm warnin' ya righ' now... If'n I ever meet tha' Judge Shelby I'm gonna plant one helluva kiss on him..."
"Think ya migh' wanna consider jus' shakin' his hand."
"We'll see... But... if'n it weren't fer him... A decent man with a whole lotta courage ta do the right thing... This never woulda happened."
"Cain't hardly believe this is all on accounta one man..."
"Well... Don't ferget them couples tha' sued ta begin with... 'N tha' guy whose idea the whole thing was... Mark Lawrence is his name... Hell... Lotta folks shut him down... or put him off... told him it'd never work... 'N lookit it now..."
"'S purty damn amazin' alrigh'."
"'N... we cain't ferget them dumbass Utah state attorneys... we owe them a big ol' 'thank you' too... Ya know... fer bein' dumb enough ta not request tha' preemptive stay... which is gen'rally standard operatin' procedure in a case like this... Guess they never figured on losin' on accounta tha' teabagger Mike Lee 'n Orrin Hatch heartily approved of tha' Judge Shelby."
"Musta been a big ol' shock to 'em when he ruled ta uphold the U.S. Constitution instead a their religious bigotry."
"I sure as hell woulda loved ta be a fly on the wall of the room they were in when they heard the news."
"Their jaws musta hit the damn floor..."
"'Course... we owe all them religious bigots in this here state a big ol' 'thank you' too."
"How d'ya figure...?"
"Think about it... If'n them self-righteous bigots hadn't a needed so bad-like ta put their hate inta writin' in the state's Constitution... then there wouldna been nothin' ta sue as unconstitutional in federal court... 'N we'd jus' be livin' in limbo here while other states fought it out..."
"Maybe we should send all them bigots thank you notes."
"No way in hell."
"Yeah. The postage alone would cost a small fortune."
Later that same day...
"Hey, Ed...! I got even better news... I jus' talked ta Betty.. 'N she's got a friend who's a judge down south a here in Washington County... If'n we get down there 'n get tha' marriage license first thing Monday mornin' he'll be able ta marry us... So's we don't gotta head all tha' way up ta Salt Lake... 'N Bill 'n Betty can come with us... One a Bill's brothers will watch the place fer us."
"Sounds good, Hank"
"'N I sure am glad Bill 'n Betty can come..."
"Yeah. It's great ta have 'em back together."
"Yeah. Sure is. Hey... Maybe we could talk 'em inta a double ceremony...?"
"Dammit, Hank... Don't you go pushin' 'em ta do nothin' they don't wanna do."
"I won't... I won't..."
"But... all this... It don't hardly seem real."
"It sure as hell don't."
"Damn."
"'Course... Part a me'd rather we did head up ta Salt Lake... where there's bound ta be a whole lot more folks celebratin'..."
"This way'd be so much easier, Hank... 'N we'd know fer sure we could git 'er done... Up there who knows how long tha' line migh' be... 'N if'n we might end up bein' too late if'n they get tha' stay..."
"Yeah. Yer right, Ed..."
"Couldya repeat tha' fer me, Hank...? I always love hearin' ya say them words... 'S music ta m' ears."
"Dumbass."
Even later that same day...
"So's... we got ev'rythin' we need...? Driver's licenses... Social security cards just in case... Still worried 'bout the maiden name a my ma... How the hell should I know that... Wha' with my folks bein' so crazy 'n all... Sure hope Ruth calls me back... Hell... Sure hope she knows it... She migh' not..."
"Stop frettin' 'bout it, Ed... Ruth'll call ya back... 'N she'll know yer ma's maiden name... Women know them things... even if their folks are crazy."
"Sure hope they don't question us havin' the same names already..."
"We got all the paperwork... So's we can 'xplain that easy 'nough..."
"Yeah. Guess yer right."
"Could you repeat tha' fer me, Ed...? I just love hearin' ya say them words... 'S music ta my ears..."
"Dumbass."
That evening...
Beep... Beeeep...
"C'mon, Ed... Grab a jacket... 'S time ta go..."
"Wha' the hell are you talkin' about...?"
"S'prise...!!! It's time fer our bachelor's party...!!!"
"You gotta be kiddin' me..."
"Nope. That's Bill 'n his brother out there beepin' fer us... His brother's gonna be the designated driver... Couple a other friends are meetin' us there... We're gonna go tie one on ta celebrate our second ta last night bein' bachelor's."
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
"Nope. C'mon... They're waitin'..."
"Ya coulda least-wise told me before-hand."
"'N given ya a chance ta back out...? No way, Ed..."
"Dammit, Hank."
Beeeeep...
"You comin'...?"
"Yeah. I'm comin'. Dumbass."
Sunday morning comin' down...
Groan...
"D'ya mind not groanin' quite so's loud, Ed."
"Great idea. Jus' great."
"Hey... You were havin' fun too... Admit it."
"I ain't admittin' nothin'. 'Cept that I migh' not live ta get hitched."
"Damn. Guess we ain't so's young as we used ta be."
Groan...
"Hey... Where ya goin'...?"
"Where d'ya think...? Animals ain't gonna wanna wait ta eat jus' 'cause I got a hangover."
"Bill's brother's takin' care a tha' ta day too... Bill arranged it all last nigh'... He thought we migh' not be up ta workin' this mornin'..."
"We...?"
"Jus' 'cause I don't usually get m'self up in the mornin' ta work don't mean I still ain't up ta it."
"Dumbass."
"Go back ta sleep, Ed..."
"Thanks be fer Bill's brother."
"You can say that again."
"Ain't so's sure I can."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Later that morning...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ
And a little later than that...
ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ
MONDAY...!!!
"You ready, Hank...?!?"
"I been ready fer prit near fifty years. Give 'r take a day or two."
"Well... Then get yer ass down here... We're gonna be late."
"We ain't gonna be late. Hey... Close yer eyes... We ain't s'posed ta see each other 'fore the weddin'."
"Tha'd be a neat trick... Seein' as we're drivin' down there together."
"Well... Since ya won't close yer eyes... Ta daaaaa...!"
"Ya look real nice, Hank."
"You too, Ed... Lucky we bought us some new jeans not too long ago."
"Yep. It were nice not ta hafta go shoppin' fer nothin'."
"Cain't hardly believe this is really happenin'..."
"Well... It ain't gonna if'n we don't get goin'."
Later...
"Nice a Bill 'n Betty ta go 'n get us coffee while we take care a gettin' the license."
"Sure is."
"This looks like the place..."
"Sure does."
"You ready, Ed...?"
"If'n I ain't ready now I won't never be."
"I'll take that as a 'yes'."
"Cain't believe they're chargin' us thirty dollars fer a piece a paper."
"Ain't I worth it, Ed...?"
"......"
"Well...?"
"I'm thinkin'..."
"I'll take that as, 'Yer damn righ' yer worth it, Hank - Hell - yer worth twice that'."
A few minutes later...
"Wha' the hell are ya doin', Hank...?"
"Takin' a picture of our marriage license... 'fore we fill it out... I know damn well ya won't want me ta put it online with our real names on it..."
"Dumbass."
"Is that any way ta talk ta yer fiance just a l'il while 'fore we tie tha' proverbial knot...?"
"D'ya gotta put it on the floor...?"
"Yep. We ain't near nothin' else."
***Sigh***
"You nervous, Ed...?"
"Nope."
"I'll take that as a 'Yep'. Ya know... There's still time ta back out."
"Okay."
"I'll take that as 'No way in hell, Hank'."
"But... Jus' don't seem right... gettin' hitched down here where there's palm trees growin'..."
"Coulda been at the North Pole fer all I care 'bout the where."
"Good point."
"'N least-wise this here's a whole lot closer than the North Pole... Or Salt Lake City fer tha' matter."
"True 'nough. 'Course... It's a l'il weird gettin' our marriage license in a buildin' on 'Tabernacle Street'."
"Gotta admit... I get a whole lotta sa-tis-fac-tion outta that."
"You would."
"I do."
"Too early fer tha'."
"Dumbass."
A few minutes later...
"Hey, Hank..."
"Yeah...?"
"Ya do realize yer here ta marry me... dontcha...? 'N not make friends with ev'ry one else in line..."
"Sorry, Ed... I jus' got carried away with the whole occasion 'n all..."
"Yeah. Guess it is a real amazin' occasion.. fer ev'ryone here."
"Here come Bill 'n Betty..."
"Lemme at tha' coffee."
"Me too. Wanna be wide awake fer ev'ry single second a this."
A while later...
"Damn, Ed... We're husband 'n husband... all legal-like... Can ya believe it...?"
"Not yet I cain't... Jus' don't seem real."
"Talkin' 'bout things tha' don't seem real... Hell... I still cain't get over ya tryin' ta sneak gettin' me ta obey ya inta tha' ceremony..."
"Figured it were worth a try."
"You sure made tha' judge crack up."
"Think it helped me relax a l'il more when he did."
"'N I cain't believe it were you who started off with the water works... Thought fer sure I'd be the first ta let go..."
"Tha' were my allergies."
"That's yer story, huh...? In December...?"
"Yep. That's my story. 'N I'm stickin' to it."
"'S okay, Ed... There were wet eyes all 'round... Hell... Even tha' judge had ta wipe his eyes..."
"Didn't 'xpect Bill ta tear up like tha'."
"Prob'bly jealous of me."
"Dumbass."
"Jus' sorry Iris couldn' make it."
"Yeah. Me too. Hey... Slow down, Hank."
"Jus' goin' the speed limit, Mr. Edward Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-This-Time..."
"Stoppin' fer breakfast after were a real good idea."
"Prob'bly yer fav'rite part a the whole mornin', Mr. Edward Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-This-Time."
"Not much beats pancakes... But... I gotta admit... gettin' hitched legal-like were a real close second."
"I'll take what I can get."
"You got me."
"I sure as hell do. So's... You feel any diff'rent, Ed..?"
"I dunno... Guess I migh' feel a l'il lighter..."
"Whaddya mean...?"
"Always been worried we ain't got all our 'i's dotted 'n 't's crossed... Ya know... with all the legal stuff... 'n them health care power of attorneys 'n whatnot... 'N now... kinda feels like a weight's been lifted off a me... Don't gotta worry so's much tha' we missed somethin'.. Or 'bout the stuff we couldn' take care of tha' way..... How 'bout you, Hank... You feel any diff'rent...?"
"Guess I migh' feel a l'il heavier..."
"Wha' the hell are ya talkin' 'bout...?"
"Ya know... Wha' with tha' big' ol' ball 'n chain 'round my ankle now..."
"Be good fer ya... Draggin' that around'll build up yer calf muscles."
"I'll end up all lopsided... walkin' 'round in circles..."
"I'll switch 'em to yer other ankle ev'ry now 'n again."
"Good idea."
"Too bad Bill 'n Betty had ta head off ta her sister's fer the holidays right after breakfast..."
"Speak fer yerself, Mr. Edward Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-This-Time... This way we can get ourselves home 'n start in on tha' there honeymoon right off..."
"Thought once ya got hitched all the sex stopped...?"
"Not 'til after the honeymoon... So's I'm gonna make ev'ry single second count."
"'N 'xactly how long does this here honeymoon last...?"
"'Til the 12th of never."
"Tha' sounds 'bout righ', Mr. Henry Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-Like."
"Yep. I'll mark my calendar so's we don't miss it 'n keep goin'."
"You do tha'."
A little later...
"Hey... Ain't ya gonna carry me over the threshold, Mr. Edward-Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-This-Time...?
"Back's actin' up... So's yer gonna hafta carry me, Mr. Henry-Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-Like."
"Fireman's carry okay...?"
"Yep. Jus' watch m' head... I still remember what happened the last time..."
"Bet I can carry ya all the way up the stairs..."
"Don't try it, Hank... If'n ya drop me the honeymoon's like ta be over 'fore it even starts..."
"Okay... Okay..."
A little later than before...
"So's... Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"Uh... Jus' sayin' 'I love ya'... it don't seem like enough... fer ta day 'n all... But... I jus'... I jus' don't got the words fer it..."
"I know, Ed... Me neither... Hell... Don't think the words even exist..."
"Guess they don't... But... Ya know... I always kinda doubted we'd be 'round... ya know... ta see ta day here... 'N... even just a few years ago... ain't sure I coulda done it anyways..."
"I know, Ed... I never thought we'd really see the day either... 'N fer a helluva long time I never thought you'd be able ta do it neither."
"Sure am glad we did. 'N I did."
"Me too. Cain't even say how much..."
"Ya wanna put some music on...?"
"Yer askin' me... ta put music on...?"
"I wouldn't got no idea wha' ta put on... Ya know... fer the occasion 'n all..."
"Ta tell ya the truth... I don't got no idea neither... I'd need the most perfect love song in the world... 'N I don't know which one that is... If'n it even exists yet..."
"You ain't gonna fall down on the job now... are ya...?"
"Wait a minute... By George... I think I've got it... Here..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTQfyY48HRs
"Who the hell is 'George'...?"
"'You don't own me... I'm not just one of yer many toys... You don't own me... don't say I cain't go with other boys'... Well... strike tha' last part..."
"Chafin' at the bit already, huh...?"
"Nope. Jus' settin' some ground rules... You tryin' ta sneak in that 'obey' stuff made me a l'il nervous-like... '"And don't tell me what to do... And don't tell me what to say... And please, when I go out with you... Don't put me on display'... I just hate it when ya put me on display..."
"So's, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"Do we got them divorce rights too...?"
"Yep. They're just as important as marriage rights."
"Good ta know."
"Why...? Ya thinkin' we rushed inta this...?"
"Maybe. 'S kinda hard ta be sure after just forty-some years together."
"Prit' near fifty."
"Not nearly if'n ya lay it all end ta end."
"Still been a helluva long time."
"Yeah. Guess ya' better strike tha' 'young' part from the song too."
"Nah... I'll leave that in... Figure 'young at heart' counts fer somethin'... Hell... sometimes I don't feel much older than nineteen."
"Ya don't act much older than tha' most a the time."
"You complainin'...?"
"Nope."
"I didn't think so."
"I love yer dumb ass, Hank."
"Love yers too, Ed."
"'N... I mean it literal-like... I love the way yer always actin' like a dumbass in order ta make me laugh... Ya've done it from the first... Hell... Don't think I ever laughed 'fore I met you... Seemed like I didn't even know how..."
"Ya didn't. 'N from the first I laid eyes on ya I considered it a personal challenge ta make ya laugh... 'N get yer clothes off while you were too busy laughin' ta notice."
"Good plan."
"Still works. Didya notice yer half-naked now...?"
"Damn. Yer good."
"I sure am."
"C'mere, Mr.Henry Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-Like..."
"Hey... You tellin' me wha' ta do...?"
"Yep."
Well... Okay then..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
----
--=====--
Happy New Year!!!
From Mr. & Mr. Smith-Jones-Fer-Real-Like-This-Time!
And Bill and Betty
And Edthedog and Hankthedog and Billthedog
and Iristhecat!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svj3MFWIt-c
"Don't 'xactly agree with tha' song yer playin', Hank... Maybe they had 'nough mountains 'n hillsides 'n meadows back then... But we sure as hell don't got 'nough of 'em now... least-wise unspoiled ones..."
"Gotta agree with ya, Ed... We need ta stop wreckin' 'em... 'Course we still need more a tha' 'love sweet love' too."
"Whatcha doin' anyways...?"
"Workin' on our gettin' hitched post... 'n our New Year's Greetin's..."
"Think I'm glad ya didn't have time ta plan nothin'... Considerin' wha' ya've done ta them statues of us... 'n ta them l'il trucks..."
"Glad ya gave me them three new ones ta go with yer yellow one... Had a lotta flowers ta haul."
"Dumbass."
"But... I got some bad news, Ed..."
"What's wrong, Hank...?"
"Just heard... The Supreme Court issued a stay on Judge Shelby's rulin'... No more same sex-couples can get married in this here state no more... Not 'til after the appeal anyways... If'n it goes our way..."
"That ain't no good."
"Yeah. I didn't 'xpect it... Wha' with tha' 10th circuit court denyin' tha' stay... two or three times even..."
"Don't affect us, does it...?
"Not so's far... Not unless the state wins that appeal... 'N I doubt they will... But.. then again... I doubted they'd get tha' stay... 'Course the state could try 'n go 'gainst fed'ral law 'n nullify all the same-sex marriage tha' took place... I wouldn' put it past 'em..."
"'Doubt the state would dare go 'gainst fed'ral law..."
"Ya do realize it's Utah were talkin' bout here...?"
"Still... Jus' sounds like they jus' won a l'il skirmish... We'll win the war... 'S jus' gonna take a l'il longer... fer other folks..."
"Yeah. I guess. But... 'S still hard... Us havin' them rights... fer now anyways... 'n knowin' tha' so many other folks don't... 'N knowin' ours could be taken away... 'N now it's gonna take least-wise another year... or even longer... if'n it makes it ta the Supreme Court anyways... I'm jus' so sick of the fight... 'N them damn bigots workin' 'gainst us fer no good reason at all... 'cept their god don't like us..."
"C'mon, Hank... It's gonna work out... 'N ya had ta know this weren't really gonna be the end of it."
"Yeah. Yer right, Ed... I knew that it'd still take a while... 'N it were a real s'prise tha' them state attorney's didn't ask fer... 'n get... tha' stay from the get go... 'n tha' we could get hitched legal-like at all... Tha' were damn amazin'..."
"Yer damn right it were. So's... Snap outta it!"
"Okay... Okay..."
"So's, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"Ya know what I need right about now...?"
"'Love sweet love'...?"
"Nope. Food. I'm hungry."
"It ain't the 12th of Never already, is it...?"
"Nope. It's lunch time."
"Well... How 'bout some a tha' 'love sweet love' fer dessert then...?"
"Cain't. Gotta get some work done this afternoon... 'Fore the weather changes fer the worse."
"Ya still need a break... So's how 'bout a mid-afternoon coffee break 'n some 'love sweet love'...?"
"I jus' cain' do it, Hank... I tell ya... this here honeymoon's gonna be the end a me."
"No it ain't... We only jus' begun..."
"Yer tryin' ta kill me, ain't ya...?"
"Yep. Fer yer money... So's... how 'bout afternoon tea 'n crumpets 'n justa l'il bit a 'love sweet love' on the side...?"
"Them crumpets do sound kinda good."
"Tea 'n... well we don't got no tea... So's... coffee 'n crumpets 'n 'love sweet love' it is..."
"Wha' the hell is a crumpet anyways...?"
"Damned if I know... But I got the whole afternoon ta figure it out."
"Dumbass."
Two days later...
"Dammit, Ed... They're doin' it... The dumbass governor 'n idiot attorney gen'ral are sayin' tha' they won't 'recognize' our marriage 'til the appeal's been settled..."
"Ain't that against fed'ral law...?"
"So's far as I know it is... No other state's ever had the nerve ta do it..."
"How're they even justifyin' it...?"
"By sayin' some kinda bullshit tha' we're still legally married 'til the appeal decides fer or against us... but the state ain't recognizin' tha' fact... So's we don't get none a the benefits a bein' married legal-like..."
"Tha' don't make a lick a sense."
"Bigots don't give a damn about makin' sense... Hell.. I've already called 'n given tha' governor a piece a my mind... 'N emailed him a couple a times too... Goddamn bigot don't got no righ' ta do what he did..."
"So's... should I be expectin' a S.W.A.T. team on our doorstep...?"
"I wouldn' put it outta the realm a possibility."
"Whaddya think's gonna happen now...? Aside from the police bustin' down our door...?"
"I ain't sure. The ACLU'll prob'ly sue... Hell... They'd better or I'll stop sendin' 'em money... 'N maybe some a them other married couple's'll file a class-action lawsuit 'gainst the state... 'N we could join 'em..."
"I dunno 'bout that, Hank..."
"We can't not fight fer our rights, Ed... 'N if'n I were on tha' Supreme Court 'n saw tha' Utah were disrepectin' us... Hell... I'd turn 'round 'n retract tha' stay..."
"Think they will...?"
"I doubt it... Tha' 10th Circuit Court's got a February deadline fer them briefs 'n then them oral arguments should be shortly after... Not sure how long after tha' 'til they make their rulin'... But tha' Supreme Court'll prob'bly just ignore the governor 'n let it all play out..."
"Then maybe that's wha' we should do too... Least-wise 'til tha' circuit court rules..."
"Okay... We'll wait 'til then 'n see what happens... But... maybe the governor thumbin' his nose at 'em will inspire tha' circuit court not ta extend tha' stay... if'n they rule 'gainst the state... which they're gonna."
"Yeah. Maybe."
"Ya know what, Ed... The more I think about it... the more this seems like it migh' jus' be a real good sign..."
"How d'ya mean...?"
"It jus' goes ta show how scared the governor 'n attorney gen'ral are... This state MARRIED us... LEGAL-LIKE... 'N that's wha' they're tryin' ta pretend they didn't do... 'N no matter wha' they say or do now they can't change tha'... 'N the only reason they're tryin' ta backpedal is on accounta they know no fed'ral court's ever taken away rights once they been awarded... 'N they think they can get around tha' by not givin' us the rights tha' go with bein' married..."
"Think the feds'll go fer tha'...?"
"No way in hell. In fact, the federal government should be givin' us fed'ral marriage rights on accounta Utah legally married us..."
"Ya really think they will.. Them feds... give us fed'ral rights 'fore the hearin's...?"
"They gotta... Wha' with even the dumbass governor admittin' we're married legal-like... 'N no one can change tha'... Well... the feds could... but they won't."
"Too bad. I were thinkin' maybe I had a way out..."
"Nope. Yer stuck with me."
"But... This here state... they can still jus' drag it all out fer a helluva long time... They can appeal again if'n they lose, cain't they...?"
"When they lose not 'if'... 'N yeah... they can try 'n appeal ta the Supreme Court... But I ain't sure they will... on accounta if'n they do... 'n lose... which they would... then that'd mean UTAH' would be the state that'll cause all them other bigoted states ta fall... 'N same-sex marriage'll be legal 'crost the whole damn country... 'N I ain't sure Utah would relish tha' reputation... But I sure as hell would."
"Tha'd be somethin' alrigh'."
"Ya know... I think I'm gonna email tha' dumbass bigoted governor one more time... It won't change nothin'... But I'll sure as hell enjoy doin' it..."
"Uh oh... I'll go man the barricades. D'ya think I got time fer some lunch first 'fore tha' S.W.A.T. team gets here...?"
"Prob'bly."
"Good."
"But first... We gotta do somethin'..."
"Ya wore me out last night... So's don't get no ideas this early in the day..."
"Not tha'... Dance..."
"Wha' the hell are ya talkin' about...?"
"This is what I'm gonna email ta the dumbass governor... The link 'n the lyrics... jus' changed a l'il... ta this here song..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e17OD5pcASg
http://governor.utah.gov/goca/form_comment.html
"Dumbass"
"'N so's long as it's playin'... We might as well dance to it... C'mon, Ed..."
"You tellin' me wha' ta do...?"
"I sure as hell am."
"Well... Okay, then."
"Love yer dumb ass, Ed."
"Love yers too, Hank."
----
--======--
Dear Governor Herbert:
Sooner or later, love is gonna get ya, sooner or later, Gov you got to give in. Sooner or later, love is gonna get ya, sooner or later, love is gonna win! Its just a matter of time before you make up your mind to give all that love that you've been hiding. Its just a question of when, I've told you time and again, I'll get all the love you've been denying.
Sooner or later, love is gonna get ya, sooner or later, Gov you got to give in. Sooner or later, love is gonna let ya, sSooner or later, love is gonna win! You say Ed'll never be mine, but gov'nor they'll come a time, I'll taste all that love that you've been hiding. Its just a question of time before you make up your mind and give us all that love you've been denying.
You've been looking for love in all the wrong places. You've been looking for love In all the wrong faces. Gotta get ya Gov off this illusion, gotta save ya Gov from all this confusion. Sooner or later, love is gonna get ya, sooner or later, Gov you got to give in. Sooner or later, love is gonna let ya, sooner or later, love is gonna win,
love is gonna win!
Sincerely,
Mr. Henry Smith-Jones
.
-=====-
Postscript: A couple of days after this, the federal government announced that they were recognizing the already-performed same-sex marriages in Utah and giving those couples federal marriage rights, which, after the previous bad news, is very good news, indeed! And also a very good sign for a good outcome in the next hearing.
----