Ed and Hank
Ed and Hank
No rants... No raves... Just Ed 'n Hank by the waves...
Note: This took place in mid-June.
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
.
.
"Hey, Hank... You were 'sposed ta turn righ' there... not left..."
"Yeah, well... We ain't goin' where we were goin'..."
"Wha' the hell...?"
"'Checked the weather... 'sposed ta be rainin' 'n snowin' up there...'N I ain't in the mood fer it..."
"Hope yer headed fer diff'rent mountains..."
"Yeah... Well... Sorry, Ed... I jus' feel like somthin' a l'il diff'rent..."
"'Xactly how diff'rent are we talkin' about...?"
"Here... I brought along this here Dean Brody cd ta give ya a hint... Put it in fer me, wouldya...?"
"Dumbass..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpfIITHa_JA
"...'Somethin' 'bout the ocean tha' makes me smile'..."
"Lemme guess... We're goin' ta Death Valley."
"Makes me wanna stop 'n stay a while... Jus' gimme a l'il beach tha' goes fer miles 'n miles... I've got sand in my soul... I love the mountains... I love the plains... lights a the cities 'n the open range... But after a while I’ve had all I can take... I got sand in my soul... It makes me happy... It makes me happy... You know I’m happy when I got... sand between my sheets... sand between my toes.. Give me a home where the sea breezes blow... I got sand in my soul'..."
"Plenty a sand righ' there..."
"Well... nice as that is... which it ain't... Think I'd still rather go ta the ocean..."
"'Don't much care fer them crazy busy campgrounds we been to on the coast before... Hell... Don't care fer campgrounds at all..."
"We're goin' somewheres diff'rent this time... Cape Blanco... Migh' not be so's crowded... Only town nearby is real small..."
"'N I don't like sand in our sheets... or our sleepin' bag neither..."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"It ain't gonna be too hot... Is it...?"
"Nope. Says it'll be in the low sixties... not s'posed ta rain though... not fer a while least-wise... 'n them ocean breezes should make it feel a good bit cooler than tha'..."
"You gonna be gettin' me up at the crack a dawn ta go look at them tide pools...?"
"Asks the man who's got up at the crack a dawn prit' near ev'ry day of his life..."
"Gotta admit... I kinda like them tide pools..."
"Well... Sorry, Ed... I don't wanna go ta no tide pools this trip... I never told ya before, but... a whole lotta them sea stars been dyin' off up 'n down the whole coast... 'n they don't know why... 'S happened before, but only in isolated areas, not so's widespread as now... I'm just hopin' they come back stronger than ever in a few years... 'n more resistant ta whatever the hell is doin' it..."
"Jeez... I sure hope they do too."
"So's... I were jus' plannin' on us sleepin' in when we wanna... 'n walkin' on them beaches when we wanna... 'n jumpin on each other when we wanna... 'n doin' nothin' at all when we wanna... 'n so on 'n so forth... So's... 'S okay with you, Ed...?"
"'S okay with me."
"Good."
Later that day...
"Didn't got no idea we were so close ta such a big ol' mountain... Trees hid tha' from view real good..."
"That's tha' Mount Shasta... 'N don't go gettin' tha' look in yer eye... We're jus' campin' near here fer the night..."
"Okay, okay..."
The next day...
"So's, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"You sure you know where yer goin'...?"
"Well... This here ain't a main road on the map... but it says it's paved 'n all... 'N it's the first road tha' looks like it goes through ta the coast direct-like... First one heads way back ta the south... 'n the next one north is purty far outta the way tha' way..."
"Keeps gettin' narrower..."
"'S the righ' road. I think. Jus' didn' expect it ta be quite this... uh... scenic..."
"...'n narrower..."
"Still paved anyways..."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Prob'ly just unpaved fer a l'il bit..."
"You sure 'bout tha'...?"
"Nope. I mean, yep. See... Told ya..."
"Dumbass."
A little while later...
"Pull over by them signs, Hank... Let's see wha' they got ta say..."
"See... like I said... this here road do go ta the coast... Eventual-like anyways..."
"Think they'd tell ya all that at the beginnin' of it... 'n not in the middle of it."
"Where's the fun in tha'...?"
"Dumbass."
A lot later than Hank ever expected...
"Hey, look, Ed... Next time we can bring the horses..."
"Too far. Drive'd be too hard on 'em..."
"Yeah... Guess so... Too bad, though... It'd be real nice ta ride on them beaches..."
"What happened ta wantin' sand 'tween them toes a yers...?"
"Hey... This here campground ain't as bad as them others..."
"Yeah... Some sites even got a l'il bit a space between 'em."
"Glad we got one of 'em."
"Me too."
"But... why the hell didya bring them ol' chairs...?"
"Don't worry... got the other ones too... Jus' puttin' these out ta let folks know someone's in the site... Don't wanna waste time puttin' up the tent... wanna get down ta tha' beach righ' now... 'N remember last time...? Our chairs got so wet we couldn' never sit in 'em even when it weren't rainin' 'cause they'd never dry out... 'N we needed ta keep 'em in the site ta hold it 'cause it were so rainy we slept in the back a the truck instead a puttin' up the tent... Ya know... I sure do like the sound a the rain on the roof a tha' truck... We don't hardly never get ta hear that in Utah 'cause it don't hardly never rain... So's... anyway... this time I brought two sets a chairs... two we could keep dry in the truck 'n sit in when we wanna... 'n two we could use ta hold the site if'n it were too rainy ta put up the tent... 'N yeah... I know it ain't s'posed ta rain... but ya never know here..."
"Remind me not ta ask next time."
"Will do. Don't ask next time."
"Thanks fer the reminder."
"Yer welcome. Now let's get our fine asses down ta tha' there beach..."
A few minutes later...
"Damn... Now this is the kinda wide open spaces I'm needin' right about now... Looks like this here beach goes from here ta eternity..."
"Or least-wise ta tha' point way the hell out there..."
"'N not another soul in sight..."
"So's... Is it 'nough sand fer tha' soul a yers...?"
"Well... It's a damn good start anyways."
The next day...
"C'mon, Ed... Let's check out tha' beach in town... tha' looked real purty when we drove past it yesterday..."
"Bet it's gonna be busy... in town... righ' by the main road... visitor center righ' there..."
"Now where have I heard that before...? Hmmmm.... lemme think... I know... Outta yer mouth anytime we go anywheres that ain't in the middle a nowheres..."
"Ya know... Some pancakes jus' might convince me ta give it a try..."
"Jeez... I never woulda thought a tha'..."
"C'mon, Hank... Let's go get us some pancakes..."
A little while later...
"You were sayin'...?"
"I weren't sayin' nothin'."
"That's yer story, huh...?"
"Yep. 'N I'm stickin' to it."
Later...
"Hey, Ed... Look... Them crowds you were worried 'bout are startin' ta fill up this here beach..."
"Ha. Ha."
"'N there's some other folks arrivin' too... Damn... Sure is gettin' real busy-like..."
"Them pelicans look downrigh' prehistoric."
"They sure do."
"This is real nice, Hank."
"Sure is."
The next day...
"Tha' must be it, Ed... The beach tha' fella said we shouldn' miss goin' to..."
"Looks a lot busier than anywheres else... All them cars parked there... 'N it's even more right off the road than that other one were..."
"Again...? Really...?"
"Think maybe I got a better chance a bein' righ' this time."
"Dumbass."
A few minutes later...
"Uh... You were sayin', Ed...?"
"Where the hell is ev'rybody...? That highway is righ' busy... There's cars at all them pullouts... The campground's prit near full... But there ain't hardly no one on the damn beaches... Wha' the hell do folks come here fer if not the beaches...?"
"I don't know. 'N I don't care. It's great havin' these beaches most-like to ourselves..."
"Sure is. Cain't hardly believe it."
"Uh oh... I mighta spoke too soon..."
"Dumbass."
"Not talkin' 'bout them birds this time... Watch out, Ed...! Big wet dog headin' righ' fer ya..."
"Oooomph."
"I'm so sorry... He's never done anything like that before... Are you okay...?"
"Yeah. I'm good. Nice dog. Yer a good dog, ain'tcha...? Yeah, ya are..."
"Thanks. His name's Harry. I just don't know why he did that. And he got you all wet and sandy. I'm so sorry."
"Ain't yer fault. Or the dog's fault neither. Ed's got a whole lotta tha' there animal magnetism."
"I can see that."
"I'm s'prised he don't got birds flyin' 'round his head singin' all the time... 'Course he's lucky he don't... wha' with all them big ol' pelicans 'n cormorants 'n whatnot flyin' around..."
"Cut it out, Hank."
"Thanks for being so nice about it. Um... I don't usually do this either, but, if you're not busy tonight, Ed... I'd really like to make it up to you for Harry's bad manners. I work at the first bar on the left in the next town up, if you'd like to stop by later tonight I'd love to buy you a drink or two."
"Well... uh... That's righ' nice of ya... But... uh..."
"Let me guess... You're married?"
"Yeah. I'm married."
"Yep. There it is. I didn't notice the wedding ring before. Well, you tell your wife Harry thinks she's a very lucky woman."
"Well... uh... 'S more like my husband... 'N you can tell him yerself... This is him... uh... Hank..."
"Well, Hank, you are a very lucky man. Harry says so."
"That Harry is a real smart dog."
"You two have a real good day."
"You have a real good day too."
"Thanks, Hank. Bye, Ed."
"Bye."
"Damn, Ed... Jus' damn..."
"Cut it out, Hank."
"Ya know... usual-like... I would tease the hell outta ya 'bout wha' just happened 'til ya turned a real lovely shade a chartreuse... 'N then I'd mope around all jealous-like fer a l'il while 'cause she went fer you 'n not me..."
"Dumbass."
"But... you don't even realize whatcha jus' did... Do ya...?"
"I didn' do nothin'."
"Yeah. Ya did. Ya just told a total stranger tha' you 'n I are married... 'N ya called me yer husband... Withou' havin' no idea how she'd react fer sure..."
"Weren't a big deal, Hank."
"Well... granted she weren't a 6'6" guy with swastika tattoos 'n armed ta the teeth... But still..."
"Dumbass."
"C'mon, Ed..."
"Hey... What's the hurry...?"
"There ain't no one nowheres down there... So's I am gonna take you behind tha' there big ol' rock 'n kiss the hell outta ya."
"Which one...? There's two big ol' rocks down there..."
"Yer choice. C'mon, dumbass."
later...
"Sure has been a nice day, Hank."
"Day ain't over yet."
"Then I'm lookin' forward ta the rest of it."
"You should be."
Later, back at camp...
"Hey, Ed..."
"Yeah...?"
"Ya maybe feel like goin' somewheres else with me...?"
"No way in hell, Hank... This is real nice here 'n I don't wanna go nowheres else... We got a half-way decent campsite... 'n real purty beaches with hardly no one on 'em... 'n there just ain't no reason ta leave... 'N besides... we paid up through the next few days already... So's we cain't go nowheres else..."
"'S' only $22 a day..."
"Only...? That adds up righ' fast... Hell... I ain't payin' fer this 'n then leavin' 'n payin' fer somewheres else too... Ain't like we're in Utah 'n campin' fer free..."
"Don't say 'no' right off... not before ya hear 'xactly what I'm thinkin' of..."
"Don't need ta hear nothin'."
"I think maybe ya do... 'N I think maybe Del Shannon can say it best... Here..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_Twsg9Hfmw
"Dumbass."
"Come with me myyyy love... to the sea... the sea of looove... I wanna tell you... hooow muuuuch I looove you... Do ya remember wheeen we met...? That's the day I knew you were my Ed... I wanna tell ya hooow much I love yooou... Cooome with meee, tooo the seeeea... ooof looove...' So's... You wanna come with me...? Or not...?"
"Is it gonna cost me anythin'...?"
"Nope."
"Then alls I can say is... All aboard who's comin' aboard..."
"Aye aye, Captain."
The next day...
"Dammit, Hank... Ya keep takin' me ta all these real crowded beaches..."
"Sorry, Ed... But it is summertime... So's we jus' gotta expect ta run inta them kinda crowds..."
"Let's least-wise try 'n get away from 'em..."
"This fella just ain't takin' the hint..."
"Hey, look, Hank... There's a sea star on this here rock..."
"Good ta see one... 'Specially when we ain't even lookin' fer 'em... Let's come back in a couple a years fer one a them real low-tides 'n hope we see a whole bunch of 'em..."
"It's a date."
"It sure is."
"Now this here's the kinda elbow room I like..."
"Me too... That is... so's long as I'm elbow ta elbow with you..."
"I love yer dumb ass, Hank."
"I love yers too, Ed."
And the day after that...
"C'mon, Ed..."
"Wha...? Why...? 'S real nice settin' right here..."
"Tha' fella I were jus' talkin' to said we're facin' the wrong way... There's whales out the other direction..."
"Ain't it the wrong time a year...?"
"Maybe they ain't got a calendar... C'mon, dumbass..."
"Jeez... Lookit tha'..."
"Next time we'll hafta not ferget the binoculars."
"Good idea."
"Damn, Ed... Look over there... There's one helluva huge whale surfacin'... Regular Moby Dick..."
"'N here come the dick jokes... 3... 2... 1..."
"I'm sp'rised at you, Ed... That you would think I would besmirch such a classic novel as 'Moby Dick' by tellin' crude dick jokes... I do believe I am downright insulted."
"Can't think of any, huh...?"
"Not right off the top a my head."
"Dumbass."
A few days later...
"Sure has been a nice campin' trip."
"Sure has."
"Beaches been great."
"Sure have. We should bring them dogs next time... Nice tha'cha can take 'em on most a these here beaches."
"Next time...?"
"Yeah. Wouldn' mind comin' ev'ry year even... 'N stayin' longer maybe..."
"You got it, Ed."
"Who knows... maybe we'll even manage not ta miss one a them lighthouse tours next time..."
"Well... if'n they expect us ta be able ta fit it in they gotta be open more 'n six days a week..."
"Yeah. Whatta buncha lazy-ass volunteers."
Later that night...
"So's, Ed... You up to another voyage on tha' 'sea of love' tonigh'...?"
"Well... You get all hands on deck 'n we'll see what happens..."
"You got it. Only... ya gotta tell me 'xactly where yer deck is..."
"Ya'd think ya'd know by now."
"Well... Guess I'm bound ta find it sooner or later... You let me know when I'm gettin' warm..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
----
-------
----
No rants... No raves... Just Ed 'n Hank by the waves...
Note: This took place in mid-June.
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
.
.
"Hey, Hank... You were 'sposed ta turn righ' there... not left..."
"Yeah, well... We ain't goin' where we were goin'..."
"Wha' the hell...?"
"'Checked the weather... 'sposed ta be rainin' 'n snowin' up there...'N I ain't in the mood fer it..."
"Hope yer headed fer diff'rent mountains..."
"Yeah... Well... Sorry, Ed... I jus' feel like somthin' a l'il diff'rent..."
"'Xactly how diff'rent are we talkin' about...?"
"Here... I brought along this here Dean Brody cd ta give ya a hint... Put it in fer me, wouldya...?"
"Dumbass..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpfIITHa_JA
"...'Somethin' 'bout the ocean tha' makes me smile'..."
"Lemme guess... We're goin' ta Death Valley."
"Makes me wanna stop 'n stay a while... Jus' gimme a l'il beach tha' goes fer miles 'n miles... I've got sand in my soul... I love the mountains... I love the plains... lights a the cities 'n the open range... But after a while I’ve had all I can take... I got sand in my soul... It makes me happy... It makes me happy... You know I’m happy when I got... sand between my sheets... sand between my toes.. Give me a home where the sea breezes blow... I got sand in my soul'..."
"Plenty a sand righ' there..."
"Well... nice as that is... which it ain't... Think I'd still rather go ta the ocean..."
"'Don't much care fer them crazy busy campgrounds we been to on the coast before... Hell... Don't care fer campgrounds at all..."
"We're goin' somewheres diff'rent this time... Cape Blanco... Migh' not be so's crowded... Only town nearby is real small..."
"'N I don't like sand in our sheets... or our sleepin' bag neither..."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"It ain't gonna be too hot... Is it...?"
"Nope. Says it'll be in the low sixties... not s'posed ta rain though... not fer a while least-wise... 'n them ocean breezes should make it feel a good bit cooler than tha'..."
"You gonna be gettin' me up at the crack a dawn ta go look at them tide pools...?"
"Asks the man who's got up at the crack a dawn prit' near ev'ry day of his life..."
"Gotta admit... I kinda like them tide pools..."
"Well... Sorry, Ed... I don't wanna go ta no tide pools this trip... I never told ya before, but... a whole lotta them sea stars been dyin' off up 'n down the whole coast... 'n they don't know why... 'S happened before, but only in isolated areas, not so's widespread as now... I'm just hopin' they come back stronger than ever in a few years... 'n more resistant ta whatever the hell is doin' it..."
"Jeez... I sure hope they do too."
"So's... I were jus' plannin' on us sleepin' in when we wanna... 'n walkin' on them beaches when we wanna... 'n jumpin on each other when we wanna... 'n doin' nothin' at all when we wanna... 'n so on 'n so forth... So's... 'S okay with you, Ed...?"
"'S okay with me."
"Good."
Later that day...
"Didn't got no idea we were so close ta such a big ol' mountain... Trees hid tha' from view real good..."
"That's tha' Mount Shasta... 'N don't go gettin' tha' look in yer eye... We're jus' campin' near here fer the night..."
"Okay, okay..."
The next day...
"So's, Hank...?"
"Yeah...?"
"You sure you know where yer goin'...?"
"Well... This here ain't a main road on the map... but it says it's paved 'n all... 'N it's the first road tha' looks like it goes through ta the coast direct-like... First one heads way back ta the south... 'n the next one north is purty far outta the way tha' way..."
"Keeps gettin' narrower..."
"'S the righ' road. I think. Jus' didn' expect it ta be quite this... uh... scenic..."
"...'n narrower..."
"Still paved anyways..."
"You were sayin'...?"
"Prob'ly just unpaved fer a l'il bit..."
"You sure 'bout tha'...?"
"Nope. I mean, yep. See... Told ya..."
"Dumbass."
A little while later...
"Pull over by them signs, Hank... Let's see wha' they got ta say..."
"See... like I said... this here road do go ta the coast... Eventual-like anyways..."
"Think they'd tell ya all that at the beginnin' of it... 'n not in the middle of it."
"Where's the fun in tha'...?"
"Dumbass."
A lot later than Hank ever expected...
"Hey, look, Ed... Next time we can bring the horses..."
"Too far. Drive'd be too hard on 'em..."
"Yeah... Guess so... Too bad, though... It'd be real nice ta ride on them beaches..."
"What happened ta wantin' sand 'tween them toes a yers...?"
"Hey... This here campground ain't as bad as them others..."
"Yeah... Some sites even got a l'il bit a space between 'em."
"Glad we got one of 'em."
"Me too."
"But... why the hell didya bring them ol' chairs...?"
"Don't worry... got the other ones too... Jus' puttin' these out ta let folks know someone's in the site... Don't wanna waste time puttin' up the tent... wanna get down ta tha' beach righ' now... 'N remember last time...? Our chairs got so wet we couldn' never sit in 'em even when it weren't rainin' 'cause they'd never dry out... 'N we needed ta keep 'em in the site ta hold it 'cause it were so rainy we slept in the back a the truck instead a puttin' up the tent... Ya know... I sure do like the sound a the rain on the roof a tha' truck... We don't hardly never get ta hear that in Utah 'cause it don't hardly never rain... So's... anyway... this time I brought two sets a chairs... two we could keep dry in the truck 'n sit in when we wanna... 'n two we could use ta hold the site if'n it were too rainy ta put up the tent... 'N yeah... I know it ain't s'posed ta rain... but ya never know here..."
"Remind me not ta ask next time."
"Will do. Don't ask next time."
"Thanks fer the reminder."
"Yer welcome. Now let's get our fine asses down ta tha' there beach..."
A few minutes later...
"Damn... Now this is the kinda wide open spaces I'm needin' right about now... Looks like this here beach goes from here ta eternity..."
"Or least-wise ta tha' point way the hell out there..."
"'N not another soul in sight..."
"So's... Is it 'nough sand fer tha' soul a yers...?"
"Well... It's a damn good start anyways."
The next day...
"C'mon, Ed... Let's check out tha' beach in town... tha' looked real purty when we drove past it yesterday..."
"Bet it's gonna be busy... in town... righ' by the main road... visitor center righ' there..."
"Now where have I heard that before...? Hmmmm.... lemme think... I know... Outta yer mouth anytime we go anywheres that ain't in the middle a nowheres..."
"Ya know... Some pancakes jus' might convince me ta give it a try..."
"Jeez... I never woulda thought a tha'..."
"C'mon, Hank... Let's go get us some pancakes..."
A little while later...
"You were sayin'...?"
"I weren't sayin' nothin'."
"That's yer story, huh...?"
"Yep. 'N I'm stickin' to it."
Later...
"Hey, Ed... Look... Them crowds you were worried 'bout are startin' ta fill up this here beach..."
"Ha. Ha."
"'N there's some other folks arrivin' too... Damn... Sure is gettin' real busy-like..."
"Them pelicans look downrigh' prehistoric."
"They sure do."
"This is real nice, Hank."
"Sure is."
The next day...
"Tha' must be it, Ed... The beach tha' fella said we shouldn' miss goin' to..."
"Looks a lot busier than anywheres else... All them cars parked there... 'N it's even more right off the road than that other one were..."
"Again...? Really...?"
"Think maybe I got a better chance a bein' righ' this time."
"Dumbass."
A few minutes later...
"Uh... You were sayin', Ed...?"
"Where the hell is ev'rybody...? That highway is righ' busy... There's cars at all them pullouts... The campground's prit near full... But there ain't hardly no one on the damn beaches... Wha' the hell do folks come here fer if not the beaches...?"
"I don't know. 'N I don't care. It's great havin' these beaches most-like to ourselves..."
"Sure is. Cain't hardly believe it."
"Uh oh... I mighta spoke too soon..."
"Dumbass."
"Not talkin' 'bout them birds this time... Watch out, Ed...! Big wet dog headin' righ' fer ya..."
"Oooomph."
"I'm so sorry... He's never done anything like that before... Are you okay...?"
"Yeah. I'm good. Nice dog. Yer a good dog, ain'tcha...? Yeah, ya are..."
"Thanks. His name's Harry. I just don't know why he did that. And he got you all wet and sandy. I'm so sorry."
"Ain't yer fault. Or the dog's fault neither. Ed's got a whole lotta tha' there animal magnetism."
"I can see that."
"I'm s'prised he don't got birds flyin' 'round his head singin' all the time... 'Course he's lucky he don't... wha' with all them big ol' pelicans 'n cormorants 'n whatnot flyin' around..."
"Cut it out, Hank."
"Thanks for being so nice about it. Um... I don't usually do this either, but, if you're not busy tonight, Ed... I'd really like to make it up to you for Harry's bad manners. I work at the first bar on the left in the next town up, if you'd like to stop by later tonight I'd love to buy you a drink or two."
"Well... uh... That's righ' nice of ya... But... uh..."
"Let me guess... You're married?"
"Yeah. I'm married."
"Yep. There it is. I didn't notice the wedding ring before. Well, you tell your wife Harry thinks she's a very lucky woman."
"Well... uh... 'S more like my husband... 'N you can tell him yerself... This is him... uh... Hank..."
"Well, Hank, you are a very lucky man. Harry says so."
"That Harry is a real smart dog."
"You two have a real good day."
"You have a real good day too."
"Thanks, Hank. Bye, Ed."
"Bye."
"Damn, Ed... Jus' damn..."
"Cut it out, Hank."
"Ya know... usual-like... I would tease the hell outta ya 'bout wha' just happened 'til ya turned a real lovely shade a chartreuse... 'N then I'd mope around all jealous-like fer a l'il while 'cause she went fer you 'n not me..."
"Dumbass."
"But... you don't even realize whatcha jus' did... Do ya...?"
"I didn' do nothin'."
"Yeah. Ya did. Ya just told a total stranger tha' you 'n I are married... 'N ya called me yer husband... Withou' havin' no idea how she'd react fer sure..."
"Weren't a big deal, Hank."
"Well... granted she weren't a 6'6" guy with swastika tattoos 'n armed ta the teeth... But still..."
"Dumbass."
"C'mon, Ed..."
"Hey... What's the hurry...?"
"There ain't no one nowheres down there... So's I am gonna take you behind tha' there big ol' rock 'n kiss the hell outta ya."
"Which one...? There's two big ol' rocks down there..."
"Yer choice. C'mon, dumbass."
later...
"Sure has been a nice day, Hank."
"Day ain't over yet."
"Then I'm lookin' forward ta the rest of it."
"You should be."
Later, back at camp...
"Hey, Ed..."
"Yeah...?"
"Ya maybe feel like goin' somewheres else with me...?"
"No way in hell, Hank... This is real nice here 'n I don't wanna go nowheres else... We got a half-way decent campsite... 'n real purty beaches with hardly no one on 'em... 'n there just ain't no reason ta leave... 'N besides... we paid up through the next few days already... So's we cain't go nowheres else..."
"'S' only $22 a day..."
"Only...? That adds up righ' fast... Hell... I ain't payin' fer this 'n then leavin' 'n payin' fer somewheres else too... Ain't like we're in Utah 'n campin' fer free..."
"Don't say 'no' right off... not before ya hear 'xactly what I'm thinkin' of..."
"Don't need ta hear nothin'."
"I think maybe ya do... 'N I think maybe Del Shannon can say it best... Here..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_Twsg9Hfmw
"Dumbass."
"Come with me myyyy love... to the sea... the sea of looove... I wanna tell you... hooow muuuuch I looove you... Do ya remember wheeen we met...? That's the day I knew you were my Ed... I wanna tell ya hooow much I love yooou... Cooome with meee, tooo the seeeea... ooof looove...' So's... You wanna come with me...? Or not...?"
"Is it gonna cost me anythin'...?"
"Nope."
"Then alls I can say is... All aboard who's comin' aboard..."
"Aye aye, Captain."
The next day...
"Dammit, Hank... Ya keep takin' me ta all these real crowded beaches..."
"Sorry, Ed... But it is summertime... So's we jus' gotta expect ta run inta them kinda crowds..."
"Let's least-wise try 'n get away from 'em..."
"This fella just ain't takin' the hint..."
"Hey, look, Hank... There's a sea star on this here rock..."
"Good ta see one... 'Specially when we ain't even lookin' fer 'em... Let's come back in a couple a years fer one a them real low-tides 'n hope we see a whole bunch of 'em..."
"It's a date."
"It sure is."
"Now this here's the kinda elbow room I like..."
"Me too... That is... so's long as I'm elbow ta elbow with you..."
"I love yer dumb ass, Hank."
"I love yers too, Ed."
And the day after that...
"C'mon, Ed..."
"Wha...? Why...? 'S real nice settin' right here..."
"Tha' fella I were jus' talkin' to said we're facin' the wrong way... There's whales out the other direction..."
"Ain't it the wrong time a year...?"
"Maybe they ain't got a calendar... C'mon, dumbass..."
"Jeez... Lookit tha'..."
"Next time we'll hafta not ferget the binoculars."
"Good idea."
"Damn, Ed... Look over there... There's one helluva huge whale surfacin'... Regular Moby Dick..."
"'N here come the dick jokes... 3... 2... 1..."
"I'm sp'rised at you, Ed... That you would think I would besmirch such a classic novel as 'Moby Dick' by tellin' crude dick jokes... I do believe I am downright insulted."
"Can't think of any, huh...?"
"Not right off the top a my head."
"Dumbass."
A few days later...
"Sure has been a nice campin' trip."
"Sure has."
"Beaches been great."
"Sure have. We should bring them dogs next time... Nice tha'cha can take 'em on most a these here beaches."
"Next time...?"
"Yeah. Wouldn' mind comin' ev'ry year even... 'N stayin' longer maybe..."
"You got it, Ed."
"Who knows... maybe we'll even manage not ta miss one a them lighthouse tours next time..."
"Well... if'n they expect us ta be able ta fit it in they gotta be open more 'n six days a week..."
"Yeah. Whatta buncha lazy-ass volunteers."
Later that night...
"So's, Ed... You up to another voyage on tha' 'sea of love' tonigh'...?"
"Well... You get all hands on deck 'n we'll see what happens..."
"You got it. Only... ya gotta tell me 'xactly where yer deck is..."
"Ya'd think ya'd know by now."
"Well... Guess I'm bound ta find it sooner or later... You let me know when I'm gettin' warm..."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
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