(no subject)
Ed and Hank
December 23, 2015 - Year 2...
Disclaimer: Hank told their story to Annie Proulx. Jack and Ennis are all hers. Ed and Hank belong only to each other. Rating: G $$: Nope.
Links to all previous posts are here:
http://myeyesaintblue.livejournal.com/10082.html
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"Hey, Ed... Grab yerself a cup a coffee 'n sit yerself down... I made us some Happy-fer-real-'n-fer-legal-like-second-Annivers'ry pancakes..."
"Wha' the hell are you doin' up so damn early...? I were jus' comin' in ta make you breakfast... 'S my turn this year..."
"Too bad. Beat ya to it."
"Dumbass."
"Think ya mean, 'Thanks, Hank'."
"Thanks, Hank."
"Yer welcome."
"But... ya know... I were gonna make ya French toast... yer fav'rite... 'N serve it to ya in bed... Hey... Where ya goin'...?"
"Back ta bed. I'll be waitin' fer my French toast..."
"How 'bout I make it fer ya tomorrow...?"
"You gonna wake me up at the crack a dawn...?"
"Nope."
"Deal. So's... here ya go..."
"Think maybe they mighta shrunk when ya were keepin' 'em warm in the oven..."
"They're s'posed ta be tha' way... Guess wha' country them are from..."
"I don't got no idea."
"Here's a clue... Technical-like we should be wearin' skirts when we eat 'em."
"Uh... Only thing I can think of is Scotland... With them kilts..."
"Yep... Scottish pancakes... AKA drop scones... 'N ya know wha' the dif'rence is 'tween skirts 'n kilts...?"
"Whatcha find when ya lift 'em up."
"Yep."
"Don't you go lettin' Bill hear ya callin' kilts 'skirts'... He's like ta punch ya in the face."
"Then he won't get no drop scones."
"Maybe he won't want 'em... Have ya tried 'em yet...?"
"Nope. Thought we'd do it together. They migh' not be 'xactly righ'... They're sp'osed ta be real high... 'N a couple of 'em got purty darn high... But most of 'em ain't as high as I thought they'd be... Batter was s'posed ta sit fer 15 minutes... 'N it did... But then Hal called from the ranch store ta double-check our last order... 'n we got ta talkin' some... So it sat fer justa l'il longer than tha'..."
"Justa l'il longer, huh...?"
"Well... maybe justa l'il longer than justa l'il longer... So's... you ready...?"
"As I'll ever be."
"Let's have at 'em then..."
A few seconds later...
"Well... whaddya think, Ed...?"
"I think they're good... Real good... Nice 'n light 'n airy-like... But... I think maybe I like them Norwegian ones a l'il better."
"Me too. But don't you go tellin' Bill that or he'll punch ya in the face."
"No he wouldn'."
"True 'nough. Man's got a big ol' man-crush on ya."
"Dumbass."
Later that night...
"Hey, Ed... I gotcha a present..."
"Dammit, Hank... Ya know we agreed no nothin' this year... 'Cept them shirts fer New Year's a course... But we really gotta tighten them belts a ours if'n we're fin'lly gonna get serious 'bout buyin' tha' trailer..."
"Yeah. Finally. But this didn' cost hardly nothin'... 'N I couldn' pass it up..."
"'N 'xactly how much is 'hardly nothin''...?"
"It's 'xactly none a yer bus'ness. Just open the damn present wouldya..."
"Okay, okay..."
"Well... Whaddya think of it...?"
"Think it's a l'il on the small-side... Even fer EdTheStatue..."
"Dumbass."
"'N a l'il loud-like... like usual."
"Wouldn' have it no other way."
"Thanks, Hank. Where the hell'd ya find it...?"
"Ranch store."
"I'll be damned."
"'N I were gonna wait 'til we gave each other shirts fer New Year's... But then I'd figure we'd wanna hang it on the tree maybe... Or we can jus' keep it hangin' on EdTheStatue... Looks good there too... But... Hold on... I'll be righ' back... I gotcha somethin' else too..."
"Dammit, Hank."
A little while later...
"Hank...! Wha' the hell is takin' so long...?"
"Almost ready, Ed..."
"So's... How much did this one cost...?"
"Nothin'. Ya wanna see it...?"
"Do I got a choice...?"
"Nope. You ready...?"
"I'm afraid ta ask fer wha'..."
"This...!"
"You are such a dumbass sometimes."
"Aintcha gonna open it...?"
"I ain't sure... I'm afraid it's gonna be hard ta act surpised 'cause I got a feelin' ya've given it to me before."
"Why dontcha give it yer best shot...?"
"Well... Seein' as it's our annivers'ry 'n all... Guess it'd be rude a me not ta try 'n act a l'il surprised-like..."
"Here ya go..."
***Snort*** Gotta admit... I didn' expect the l'il Santa hat on it... 'n the beard neither..."
"Well... Second anniversary gift's 'cotton'... So's I had to use it somewheres..."
"Dumbass."
"So's... You gonna try it out...?"
"Do it do anythin' new 'n excitin'...?"
"Ya never know..."
"True 'nough. Guess I could take it out fer a spin..."
"Mind if I come along...?"
"Wouldn' have it no other way."
"Good ta hear... Hold on a sec... I gotta put the 'propriate music on..."
"'N this time I bet I know 'xactly what it is."
"Yep. I bet ya do too."
"Jus' 'sprised it took ya so long... 'Xpected it years ago... 'N then ev'ry time we seen it since..."
"Here goes..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABrSYqiqvzc
"I still gotta say it though..."
"You go right ahead."
"Dumbass."
"Happy second Anniversary-fer-real-'n-fer-legal-like, Mr. Edward Smith-Jones."
"Righ' back atcha, Mr. Henry Smith-Jones-fer-real-'n-fer-legal-like. Now... I think I got m'self some more unwrappin' ta do..."
"You sure do... Ouch...! Careful, Ed..."
"Why the hell'd you attach it so damn good...?"
"Who's the one always sayin', 'If'n yer gonna do somethin' ya might as well do it righ''...?"
"You picked a fine time ta fin'lly listen ta somethin' I said... Hold still wouldya... There... I think I got it..."
"Whew... Thanks, Ed..."
"Least-wise ya didn' glue them cotton balls on..."
"Don't think it didn' occur ta me."
"C'mere, dumbass..."
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Best Wishes for a Happy New Year
From Ed and Hank!
And Bill and Betty and Iris
And Edthedog and Hankthedog
And Billthedog and Iris thecat!
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