(no subject)
ummm if i did anyones layout its most likely fucked up right now. if you would like it fixed please post a comment or IM me. photobucket is a whore and deicided to stop hosting all of my pictures.
also, im tired of my everyday life. like this morning i was laying under my sheets and it was really silent and cold. it got me thinking alot. and somehow the idea of laying in a bodybag came into my head. it kinda scared the shit out of me. but it would actually be a nice thing, then i thought somemore, how could i be so selfish and do that? i hate when i start thinking like that. to me it seems like im living for nothing, i need something to live for and i'm tired of waiting for that special thing to come around. gah. and i've been having these crazy dreams. like in my dreams, im happy. its sickening. when was the last time i was happy? my fucking birthday i was, but that got blown by the end of the night. how about that "wonderful" vacation i went on in may? that got blown. ajdkajsdajdl i hate this.
i have a new plan. i have to deal with this fucked up society for 2 more years. after that i'll to college in north jersey. hopefully by the time i graduate college i would be in a really good relaionship but i doubt that would happen. and then we can run away to like conneticuit or some state up there thats small and live in a small town away from people and far from my memories in jersey. as of now it sounds pretty good, but i know something is gonna happen to fuck that all up.
love jess
*mwah*
also, im tired of my everyday life. like this morning i was laying under my sheets and it was really silent and cold. it got me thinking alot. and somehow the idea of laying in a bodybag came into my head. it kinda scared the shit out of me. but it would actually be a nice thing, then i thought somemore, how could i be so selfish and do that? i hate when i start thinking like that. to me it seems like im living for nothing, i need something to live for and i'm tired of waiting for that special thing to come around. gah. and i've been having these crazy dreams. like in my dreams, im happy. its sickening. when was the last time i was happy? my fucking birthday i was, but that got blown by the end of the night. how about that "wonderful" vacation i went on in may? that got blown. ajdkajsdajdl i hate this.
i have a new plan. i have to deal with this fucked up society for 2 more years. after that i'll to college in north jersey. hopefully by the time i graduate college i would be in a really good relaionship but i doubt that would happen. and then we can run away to like conneticuit or some state up there thats small and live in a small town away from people and far from my memories in jersey. as of now it sounds pretty good, but i know something is gonna happen to fuck that all up.
love jess
*mwah*