Wow a year already?
Well I was thinking, and it's been about a year since I posted on here. And holy shit a lot has happened. A lot of things that I wish didn't happen. It's kinda weird how that stuff works though, how it changes you. You have to learn how to live and such. Well since I have an entire year to talk about I'll start where I left off.
My last post was about Emma, yes as stated on December 22nd, 2007 at around 10am we had her put to sleep. I cried, first time in a while I suppose. I handled it the best though, sadly that meant I had to carry her out to the car. It's a strange feeling carrying something that's dead, I've done it before but with rabbits and deer. It's different when it's a pet, something you cared about. It doesn't feel right, it hurts.
I went to Florida over our spring break which falls sooner than every other school. I went with the Fraternity to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity in New Smyrna Beach, Fl. Before we got to Florida we stopped at the Alpha Beta chapter in Atlanta, GA. It's a nice city I think, Georgia in general wasn't bad though. We stopped in a Waffle House on the way down, I think it was in Tennessee. It was my first time in a Waffle house, it sucked. The landscape of the area was really nice though.
The Habitat Chapter was very nice to us and treated us very well. The only down side was we had to sleep in the yoga room of the YMCA. Which sucks because the guys wanna hang out and stuff till like 2am and then we have to be up at 6am and out of the room by 7am. The place was very clean and the showers were nice, they had this body wash/shampoo that's in my mind awesome. One of our senior members wanted to go to Molly Browns in Daytona Beach, for those that don't know Molly's is a strip club. Well used to be, you see about two weeks before we got there they passed a city ordinance were women cannot get naked and such. So it's a club were ladies dance on a pole while being fully clothed, I'm not paying money for that.
Bike week was going on while we were there so we went and checked all that stuff out. Went to Cabbage Patch, was pretty wild. I was pissed because the senior member wanted to surprise use and didn't tell us we were going. So I didn't have any cash on me(I had debit)and therefore was not able to buy anything. Not to mention we ran out of gas on the way there. It was a good trip though and we built in four days what usually takes them like three weeks, so I think that counts as something.
I worked for the school district again over the summer. I worked at the High School this time. It was fun, a lot of work but fun. I worked with a lot of people I know, told a lot of jokes and had a few running jokes that made the day go by. As fun as it was it's not something I really enjoy doing. It's hot and things get jumbled up really fast, I think I'll try my hand at something else. (see later in post)
Well as you all know... Jul 14, 2008 RIP Terrence. It hurts, I wish it didn't happen but it did. Even now it hurts. I guess it's supposed to though, I'd be worried if it didn't. There isn't a day that goes by that I do something we used to do like the internet and video games were I want to go online and tell him about it and get his usual reply of how late I am and how he's known about it for years. But, that's not the case anymore. Thinking about it after the fact somethings make sense and I wonder why didn't I see it. The clues, the things people do when they decide to do this. But then I remember I'm looking at with the complete picture, with only part of it these things don't raise alarms. I remember him talking the last night I was with him, in the car driving him to his Aunt's. We were talking and making plans for the future, songs I'd have to send to him. Videos he had to watch. But I remember him asking why I don't go on livejournal anymore and that I should, I said I don't have anything to write about. Then the next day finding out that left his note on there it made sense, that even as we were talking about all that stuff he already decided.
Now to date I'm in my senior year of college, if everything goes right I only have one semester of electives to take. As of Dec 8th I turned 22, now I have three more years until my car insurance goes down. It's sad when that's something you get excited about. Oh and according to social norms I have five years until society expects me to be married for the first time. Senior project is kicking my ass, I have to program my test within a week because I didn't do it over break. I'm not the only one though, and as long as I work I'll get it done. I'd just really like to find time in this cluster of work to play COD4 without neglecting my work. It seems like it's one or the other. I can either devote time to busting my ass for the next four months risking an ulcer or play COD4 and have fun. As a procrastinator this isn't gonna end well. I pretty much hate everything right now, I'd love for things to change. In general really, like something exciting and different. Something that I'd enjoy or that would make things easier for me. I think I might have anxiety, but as a psych major I'm pretty sure I just think that because I know what it is. I'm relatively certain that it's all environmentally based and if I get out of this hell I'm in it'll stop.
The Fraternity is in trouble, nothing legal or like that. We had a large fall out, and our debt is mounting. We have seven brothers and dues are crazy expensive because they base the current dues off what you had three years ago to encourage steady growth. Well we're basically as seven people paying dues for like 10 or 14 people. Also we got rid of the money leech aka the house, but there is a $900 heating bill that we got poked on. So I guess it's gonna cost me about $250 this semester after I already payed $400 in dues last semester which I thought would cover both semesters. Honestly I don't have the cash, I do but I don't wanna burn it on that. I don't have a job so I have no income and I'm using saved money. I hope this shit gets cleared up or we can get more guys, I can't do this. Getting people to join is like pulling teeth, you can't get these lazy ass freshman out of their dorms or off their 360's. Nor do they have the will or ability to commit to anything. We got one guy to join last semester out of four. He's a good guy and I'm glad but we need a lot more. Eric and I are graduating next semester and Miles might be going to Northern, so we need at least three guys to stay in our current situation. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have an ulcer by the time I'm 23.
I'm setting up an internship with the Sault School district for my counseling minor. I'll be assisting special needs kids with one on one help, things like school work and such. I actually have to go talk with the admin building and the EUIPA about me volunteering or as I say "not getting payed". It should be good and I need the experience. I need an accumulative of 120 hours for three credits. Which would at 9 hours a week take 13.333 weeks to complete, so I'm gonna try for 10 hours a week putting me at 12 weeks to complete.
Something is wrong with my computer, it has a virus. I've ran everything I have Malwarebyte, Avast, Ad-Aware, AVG and so far it's got nothing. But my internet browsers won't connect even though it shows that I have a good connection. If anyone can help, I need it a lot. I need my computer this semester more than ever. I also need a laptop, preferably cheap. It doesn't have to do anything special, i need it for internet and to run my tests.
I'm thinking about working at Mackinaw Island over the summer. I think it might be cool to do at least once. At least to say that yeah I did it and it was cool or not. The two options are pretty much a solider or a trade skill, I wanna try my hand at being a blacksmith. It's like $8 or $9 bucks an hour and you work six days a week that add up to 40 hours. Then housing is like $100 a month plus you have to buy food. So I think I do it. I'll at least apply and see what they offer.
Well that's all for now, I think I'll try and make a habit of this.
My last post was about Emma, yes as stated on December 22nd, 2007 at around 10am we had her put to sleep. I cried, first time in a while I suppose. I handled it the best though, sadly that meant I had to carry her out to the car. It's a strange feeling carrying something that's dead, I've done it before but with rabbits and deer. It's different when it's a pet, something you cared about. It doesn't feel right, it hurts.
I went to Florida over our spring break which falls sooner than every other school. I went with the Fraternity to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity in New Smyrna Beach, Fl. Before we got to Florida we stopped at the Alpha Beta chapter in Atlanta, GA. It's a nice city I think, Georgia in general wasn't bad though. We stopped in a Waffle House on the way down, I think it was in Tennessee. It was my first time in a Waffle house, it sucked. The landscape of the area was really nice though.
The Habitat Chapter was very nice to us and treated us very well. The only down side was we had to sleep in the yoga room of the YMCA. Which sucks because the guys wanna hang out and stuff till like 2am and then we have to be up at 6am and out of the room by 7am. The place was very clean and the showers were nice, they had this body wash/shampoo that's in my mind awesome. One of our senior members wanted to go to Molly Browns in Daytona Beach, for those that don't know Molly's is a strip club. Well used to be, you see about two weeks before we got there they passed a city ordinance were women cannot get naked and such. So it's a club were ladies dance on a pole while being fully clothed, I'm not paying money for that.
Bike week was going on while we were there so we went and checked all that stuff out. Went to Cabbage Patch, was pretty wild. I was pissed because the senior member wanted to surprise use and didn't tell us we were going. So I didn't have any cash on me(I had debit)and therefore was not able to buy anything. Not to mention we ran out of gas on the way there. It was a good trip though and we built in four days what usually takes them like three weeks, so I think that counts as something.
I worked for the school district again over the summer. I worked at the High School this time. It was fun, a lot of work but fun. I worked with a lot of people I know, told a lot of jokes and had a few running jokes that made the day go by. As fun as it was it's not something I really enjoy doing. It's hot and things get jumbled up really fast, I think I'll try my hand at something else. (see later in post)
Well as you all know... Jul 14, 2008 RIP Terrence. It hurts, I wish it didn't happen but it did. Even now it hurts. I guess it's supposed to though, I'd be worried if it didn't. There isn't a day that goes by that I do something we used to do like the internet and video games were I want to go online and tell him about it and get his usual reply of how late I am and how he's known about it for years. But, that's not the case anymore. Thinking about it after the fact somethings make sense and I wonder why didn't I see it. The clues, the things people do when they decide to do this. But then I remember I'm looking at with the complete picture, with only part of it these things don't raise alarms. I remember him talking the last night I was with him, in the car driving him to his Aunt's. We were talking and making plans for the future, songs I'd have to send to him. Videos he had to watch. But I remember him asking why I don't go on livejournal anymore and that I should, I said I don't have anything to write about. Then the next day finding out that left his note on there it made sense, that even as we were talking about all that stuff he already decided.
Now to date I'm in my senior year of college, if everything goes right I only have one semester of electives to take. As of Dec 8th I turned 22, now I have three more years until my car insurance goes down. It's sad when that's something you get excited about. Oh and according to social norms I have five years until society expects me to be married for the first time. Senior project is kicking my ass, I have to program my test within a week because I didn't do it over break. I'm not the only one though, and as long as I work I'll get it done. I'd just really like to find time in this cluster of work to play COD4 without neglecting my work. It seems like it's one or the other. I can either devote time to busting my ass for the next four months risking an ulcer or play COD4 and have fun. As a procrastinator this isn't gonna end well. I pretty much hate everything right now, I'd love for things to change. In general really, like something exciting and different. Something that I'd enjoy or that would make things easier for me. I think I might have anxiety, but as a psych major I'm pretty sure I just think that because I know what it is. I'm relatively certain that it's all environmentally based and if I get out of this hell I'm in it'll stop.
The Fraternity is in trouble, nothing legal or like that. We had a large fall out, and our debt is mounting. We have seven brothers and dues are crazy expensive because they base the current dues off what you had three years ago to encourage steady growth. Well we're basically as seven people paying dues for like 10 or 14 people. Also we got rid of the money leech aka the house, but there is a $900 heating bill that we got poked on. So I guess it's gonna cost me about $250 this semester after I already payed $400 in dues last semester which I thought would cover both semesters. Honestly I don't have the cash, I do but I don't wanna burn it on that. I don't have a job so I have no income and I'm using saved money. I hope this shit gets cleared up or we can get more guys, I can't do this. Getting people to join is like pulling teeth, you can't get these lazy ass freshman out of their dorms or off their 360's. Nor do they have the will or ability to commit to anything. We got one guy to join last semester out of four. He's a good guy and I'm glad but we need a lot more. Eric and I are graduating next semester and Miles might be going to Northern, so we need at least three guys to stay in our current situation. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have an ulcer by the time I'm 23.
I'm setting up an internship with the Sault School district for my counseling minor. I'll be assisting special needs kids with one on one help, things like school work and such. I actually have to go talk with the admin building and the EUIPA about me volunteering or as I say "not getting payed". It should be good and I need the experience. I need an accumulative of 120 hours for three credits. Which would at 9 hours a week take 13.333 weeks to complete, so I'm gonna try for 10 hours a week putting me at 12 weeks to complete.
Something is wrong with my computer, it has a virus. I've ran everything I have Malwarebyte, Avast, Ad-Aware, AVG and so far it's got nothing. But my internet browsers won't connect even though it shows that I have a good connection. If anyone can help, I need it a lot. I need my computer this semester more than ever. I also need a laptop, preferably cheap. It doesn't have to do anything special, i need it for internet and to run my tests.
I'm thinking about working at Mackinaw Island over the summer. I think it might be cool to do at least once. At least to say that yeah I did it and it was cool or not. The two options are pretty much a solider or a trade skill, I wanna try my hand at being a blacksmith. It's like $8 or $9 bucks an hour and you work six days a week that add up to 40 hours. Then housing is like $100 a month plus you have to buy food. So I think I do it. I'll at least apply and see what they offer.
Well that's all for now, I think I'll try and make a habit of this.