au revoir paris, among other things
Ever since this past Saturday, things have been going downhill
and I really hope this hill has a bottom, because I don't know if I can take this much longer.
My laptop, for some odd reason stopped being able to be "wireless" so in order for me to get on the internet I have to be about three feet away from our router, which is conveniently located right by the television. I sent my laptop to our on campus computer tech guys and they weren't able to solve the problem....So later today I bought one of those "wireless adapters" and the problem appears to be solved, despite leaving a fourty dollar hole in my wallet.
Also somewhat laptop related: I was sitting in my art lecture today, taking notes and completely unaware that the idiot behind me had dropped their rockstar energy drink on the floor. For the next hour and fifteen minutes I remained completely oblivious to the fact that my backpack was being soaked by some awful tasting energy drink. At the end of lecture, I had a what the fuck moment, and started complaining and the person behind me didn't even do anything. I would've at least said sorry if the situation was reversed, and maybe said hey let me help you with that and grabbed some paper towels. But no, nothing happened. Apparently it's completely fine to ruin someones backpack (and textbooks). The one good thing is that I had already dropped my laptop off at home, so it didn't get damaged by the rockstar flooding. ALSO, I'm borrowing a friend's backpack at the moment, and when I was transferring everything out...I noticed this three inch by three inch piece of black plastic in the bottom of my bag, which turned out to be the protective cover for the microchips on the back of my laptop. I almost threw that out!!
Probably worst of all is finding out that the Study Abroad program that I was accepted into, is now being cancelled due to a 15% budget cut for EAP at UCSB. All the deadlines for other abroad programs have passed, so whereas before they welcomed me with open arms into the Paris program, now they are telling me that I have to beg other advisors to consider letting me fill out ALL the information again, and maybe getting me in. I feel awful. (I can't apply for spring semester because that means missing two quarters, and as a double major...I wouldn't make it out in four years) I can't remember ever wanting anything more than to study abroad. Three months ago when I was accepted into the program, I felt such hope and like things would finally be falling into place. They took away something I needed, without any warning at all. I've been going back and forth between crying and yelling. I'm trying my best to work out other deals with the advisors, but it just seems pretty impossible at the moment. I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry if this was annoying to read. But it's been so much bad news in such a concentrated amount of time. I have no idea what I did to deserve this kind of karma. I want to drown my liver in tequila, and smoke until I can't breathe, and pop the blade out of my razor, but I know that would just lead to more hysterics.
I'm going to keep my chin up. Even if nothing good does happen, I need to trick myself into thinking that some good will come, so that I can keep going.
I want to believe that everything happens for a reason.
I need to believe.
and I really hope this hill has a bottom, because I don't know if I can take this much longer.
My laptop, for some odd reason stopped being able to be "wireless" so in order for me to get on the internet I have to be about three feet away from our router, which is conveniently located right by the television. I sent my laptop to our on campus computer tech guys and they weren't able to solve the problem....So later today I bought one of those "wireless adapters" and the problem appears to be solved, despite leaving a fourty dollar hole in my wallet.
Also somewhat laptop related: I was sitting in my art lecture today, taking notes and completely unaware that the idiot behind me had dropped their rockstar energy drink on the floor. For the next hour and fifteen minutes I remained completely oblivious to the fact that my backpack was being soaked by some awful tasting energy drink. At the end of lecture, I had a what the fuck moment, and started complaining and the person behind me didn't even do anything. I would've at least said sorry if the situation was reversed, and maybe said hey let me help you with that and grabbed some paper towels. But no, nothing happened. Apparently it's completely fine to ruin someones backpack (and textbooks). The one good thing is that I had already dropped my laptop off at home, so it didn't get damaged by the rockstar flooding. ALSO, I'm borrowing a friend's backpack at the moment, and when I was transferring everything out...I noticed this three inch by three inch piece of black plastic in the bottom of my bag, which turned out to be the protective cover for the microchips on the back of my laptop. I almost threw that out!!
Probably worst of all is finding out that the Study Abroad program that I was accepted into, is now being cancelled due to a 15% budget cut for EAP at UCSB. All the deadlines for other abroad programs have passed, so whereas before they welcomed me with open arms into the Paris program, now they are telling me that I have to beg other advisors to consider letting me fill out ALL the information again, and maybe getting me in. I feel awful. (I can't apply for spring semester because that means missing two quarters, and as a double major...I wouldn't make it out in four years) I can't remember ever wanting anything more than to study abroad. Three months ago when I was accepted into the program, I felt such hope and like things would finally be falling into place. They took away something I needed, without any warning at all. I've been going back and forth between crying and yelling. I'm trying my best to work out other deals with the advisors, but it just seems pretty impossible at the moment. I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry if this was annoying to read. But it's been so much bad news in such a concentrated amount of time. I have no idea what I did to deserve this kind of karma. I want to drown my liver in tequila, and smoke until I can't breathe, and pop the blade out of my razor, but I know that would just lead to more hysterics.
I'm going to keep my chin up. Even if nothing good does happen, I need to trick myself into thinking that some good will come, so that I can keep going.
I want to believe that everything happens for a reason.
I need to believe.