(no subject)
Ok, so I promised you another update, so if you want to read it, here it is.
Ok, so there's this kid, Mac (his real name's Michael), and lately, we've been hanging out a lot and talking to each other. He's so cute, and he's really nice and funny. He's also like, 5 foot. So he's way shorter than me, but he's still really cool. I love him to death. And Jillian thinks he's got a crush on me because he's always asking her, "Do you know where Crystal is?" and then she'll tell him what class I'm in, and he like, goes towards that class. Even though I only see him like, twice a day. Whatever. Apparently, it happens.
So anyway, today was Class Day, so allllll the freshmen were sitting together. Which means I'd be spending the whole day with all my friends, including Mac, which seemed really cool. But Mac is friends with nearly EVERYONE. And I'm not even joking. Like, almost every freshman and even some sophomores, juniors, and seniors. And he's such a pimp, it's so funny. And like, all day, if we were around other girls (Denise, Lyndi, Stephanie, Heather, Catherine, Ammy, Allexis, and this one other girl I didn't know) Mac wouldn't even give me the time of day. But as soon as there's no girls, he wants to talk to me and flirt with me. Even at lunch and during the carnival, he hardly even talked to me. He was too busy talking to Denise and Lyndi and Stephanie. They're like, the same height as him or shorter, instead of 5 inches taller, like me. But still, I hate it that he totally ignores me until no one's around.
So here's my dilemma. I always thought that me and Mac are just friends and we were just harmlessly flirting. But for some reason, I think I got jealous today because he wasn't paying me any attention. He was paying attention to these girls that are attention whores (excuse the language, but I can't think of any other way that describes them) with the exception of Denise. Denise is really nice, and she's one of my friends. She's actually friends with Mac. Compared to the other girls. Mac! Come sit by me! Come sit on my lap while I dance! I'm gonna tickle you! Mac! I love you Mac! OMG I'm lyk so totally gorgeous! Ugh. Fake x 320498234. I hate girls like that. I mean, he didn't ignore me all day, but he definitely wasn't acting like he wanted to be around me.
And I got jealous. Jealous, of those ugly, fake, attention whores. I've never once in my life been jealous of a girl like that. And I've always told myself that I'm better than girls like that and that I never want to act like that or look like that. Never. And then this happens. So I don't know what to do. And I don't know what to think of myself. I'm kinda disappointed that I would even think that. And I didn't think I liked Mac, but today, it occured to me that I'm acting like I do. It's weird. I didn't even know him two months ago. Ugh. I hate emotions. And boys. And stupid girls.
Ugh. Help?
Ok, so there's this kid, Mac (his real name's Michael), and lately, we've been hanging out a lot and talking to each other. He's so cute, and he's really nice and funny. He's also like, 5 foot. So he's way shorter than me, but he's still really cool. I love him to death. And Jillian thinks he's got a crush on me because he's always asking her, "Do you know where Crystal is?" and then she'll tell him what class I'm in, and he like, goes towards that class. Even though I only see him like, twice a day. Whatever. Apparently, it happens.
So anyway, today was Class Day, so allllll the freshmen were sitting together. Which means I'd be spending the whole day with all my friends, including Mac, which seemed really cool. But Mac is friends with nearly EVERYONE. And I'm not even joking. Like, almost every freshman and even some sophomores, juniors, and seniors. And he's such a pimp, it's so funny. And like, all day, if we were around other girls (Denise, Lyndi, Stephanie, Heather, Catherine, Ammy, Allexis, and this one other girl I didn't know) Mac wouldn't even give me the time of day. But as soon as there's no girls, he wants to talk to me and flirt with me. Even at lunch and during the carnival, he hardly even talked to me. He was too busy talking to Denise and Lyndi and Stephanie. They're like, the same height as him or shorter, instead of 5 inches taller, like me. But still, I hate it that he totally ignores me until no one's around.
So here's my dilemma. I always thought that me and Mac are just friends and we were just harmlessly flirting. But for some reason, I think I got jealous today because he wasn't paying me any attention. He was paying attention to these girls that are attention whores (excuse the language, but I can't think of any other way that describes them) with the exception of Denise. Denise is really nice, and she's one of my friends. She's actually friends with Mac. Compared to the other girls. Mac! Come sit by me! Come sit on my lap while I dance! I'm gonna tickle you! Mac! I love you Mac! OMG I'm lyk so totally gorgeous! Ugh. Fake x 320498234. I hate girls like that. I mean, he didn't ignore me all day, but he definitely wasn't acting like he wanted to be around me.
And I got jealous. Jealous, of those ugly, fake, attention whores. I've never once in my life been jealous of a girl like that. And I've always told myself that I'm better than girls like that and that I never want to act like that or look like that. Never. And then this happens. So I don't know what to do. And I don't know what to think of myself. I'm kinda disappointed that I would even think that. And I didn't think I liked Mac, but today, it occured to me that I'm acting like I do. It's weird. I didn't even know him two months ago. Ugh. I hate emotions. And boys. And stupid girls.
Ugh. Help?