You spilled pop on those spandex pants, woman, like hell I'm taking them back.

Lady: Hey, bitches! This is Lady. Uh... we're drivin' back. We haven't even reached Seattle yet. We're kinda worried 'cause we think we're gonna hit Seattle traffic. We're going over the [something] River right now. Which isn't as good as the Humptitty [sp?] River. I bet you're all jealous because you have never been over the Nooksack river. Um. We had a wonderful time at the convention. I bought a cute little Snake action figure, like, as in Solid Snake, and I was gonna buy the Otacon, but thank God I ran out of money and I didn't. But I also have a Gai, and the dealer lied to me and said if we went to his shop that they would have little Lady action figures, but he thought I just meant "the lady" from Devil May Cry, not "Lady" from Devil May Cry. It got confusing when I was asking for a Gai and a Lady. But, um... yeah, that was a convention I didn't buy much porn. Umm... I did commission a picture of Lady which was full of pretty. Okay! Passing the phone around now.

Excel: Hello hello, this is Excel in the car, speaking in my official speaking voice. I bought some things at the con, but I'm poor like, like poorness, so. I got a Death Note, so if anybody, y'know, has any favors they need done, then I'm the person you need to call. I also went and got some Lee and Sakura magnets, which are socute, liek omigod, which are gonna go on my fridge, and maybe I'll chain Light to one of them. So (I have a Light magnet) I think Lee could stop Light from using the Death Note. He would, y'know, convert him to goodness with the energy of youth and there would be much sparkling and sunsets and and Light in spandex. That would be awesome. Now, on that note, I'm gonna pass you to Lee.

Lee: Hey, this is Lee. I got like no porn at the con, sadly. I did get a gaygay Yzak in a gaygay green suit, so... and a tiny Dearka, staring at his ass with a very happy, happy face. And a doujinshi called Crack, which is sadly not cracky. Um... oh, and I got a dying Eva for $5, which is kind of fantastic. So, um... yeah, I'm hoping I can buy more porn at Kumoricon this time. And with that, I'm passing the phone to Fletcher.