(no subject)
It had been a long day of Philanthropying, that was for sure. The Patriots had just whipped themselves up a fresh batch of super-weapons and it was up to one Solid Snake to stop them. Yes sir, he couldn't wait to get home to his hot boyfriend, male wife and Ex-Catholic Schoolgirl/Baby's Mama.
"I'm home!" he said in his gruff, badass, sexy voice.
"Hello, Snake. Would you like to save"?
-Save
-Continue
Otacon asked. Snake selected 'continue'. "All right Snake, take care!" he said, and went back to whatever he was doing on the computer. Which, if his intense look of concentration was anything to go by, was either hacking into the FBI's data-banks, or browsing /c/.
Lady was laying on the couch, enjoying a good book. You couldn't tell that she was nine months pregnant because the developement team was made up of cheap, lazy, misogynistic bastard who didn't bother to change her character model at all from the last game.
"Mhn." she said cheerfully, turning the page.
"Hhn..." he responded warmly. "Anything exciting happen back here?"
"Not really. Dante's still out hunting."
"That it?"
She considered the question for a moment, her gaze drifting to the ceiling.
"Oh right. I had the baby."
"Ah."
The sound of Otacon't brain exploding was audible from across the room. Especially if you were totally bad-ass and trained to hear things like brains exploding.
"...?" asked Lady, finally closing her book and looking over at where the hacker was currently spluttering with all of his might.
"You had the what!?" he finally managed to get out.
"Baby, Otacon." Snake said, "you know she was pregnant, right?"
"YES I KNOW SHE WAS-" he sprang up from his laptop and ran over to his aboptive sister, checking her over for- from what she could tell- was everything from bullet wounds to poison ivy. "WHEN DID YOU EVEN HAVE IT? YOU'VE BEEN HERE ALL DAY."
She simply blinked at this sudden intrution of her personal bubble. "Ah... about an hour ago. In the bathroom."
"But you were only in there for ten minutes."
"What do you think I would be doing in a bathroom for ten minutes, Otacon?" She asked reaching back for her book. "Putting on makeup?" Snake grinned. That's what he expected from his Baby Mama. Clean, efficient baby-making with no whining or hospital bills.
"Whu-where is the baby now, Lady?" Otacon asked, looking like he might die at any moment. She waved her hand over at a shoe-box on the shelf which he scrambled towards with a noise halfway between a long-suffering sigh and a whimper of pain. Sure enough, asleep in the shoe-box was the world's most bad-ass baby. "Lady." He said, picking up the baby and adjusting his glasses in a very disaproving manner. "You can't keep a baby in a shoe box."
"It's not a bad idea, actually" Snake said. "If our base were toe be infiltrated by the enimy, they probably walk right by, assuming that the contence of the box was nothing more than a pair of shoes. Assuming the kid doesn't get it wet, it'll keep him safe."
"That's right. I left some food in there too. Babies like carrots, right?"
"No Lady, babies don't like carrots."
"Huh."
"Have you even thought of a name for it- ahk... him?"
"Does it need a name?"
"He, Lady. He. And yes, he does." She gave him the look she gives to anyone when it is clear that she is failing utterly at having human emotions again. The 'Huh? Wazzat?' icon that doesn't look remotely confused or even all that interested. Mostly just expressionless. He used his 'Lemme think' icon on her, and responded "A child needs a name to help him creat an identity. Code names are well and good, but a child needs a name he can claim for his own."
"We shall name him," Snake said, his bandana BILLOWING DRAMATICALLY, "Little Boss."
"You can't name a kid 'Little Boss'" Otacon said, using that cute 'Metal Gear!?' icon beause he had used 'OMGWTFBBQ!!!111!' several times in this thread already. He decided to turn this into a double comment adding, with his animate 'a winner is you!' icon, "What do you think of the name Jake?"
"I'm home!" he said in his gruff, badass, sexy voice.
"Hello, Snake. Would you like to save"?
-Save
-Continue
Otacon asked. Snake selected 'continue'. "All right Snake, take care!" he said, and went back to whatever he was doing on the computer. Which, if his intense look of concentration was anything to go by, was either hacking into the FBI's data-banks, or browsing /c/.
Lady was laying on the couch, enjoying a good book. You couldn't tell that she was nine months pregnant because the developement team was made up of cheap, lazy, misogynistic bastard who didn't bother to change her character model at all from the last game.
"Mhn." she said cheerfully, turning the page.
"Hhn..." he responded warmly. "Anything exciting happen back here?"
"Not really. Dante's still out hunting."
"That it?"
She considered the question for a moment, her gaze drifting to the ceiling.
"Oh right. I had the baby."
"Ah."
The sound of Otacon't brain exploding was audible from across the room. Especially if you were totally bad-ass and trained to hear things like brains exploding.
"...?" asked Lady, finally closing her book and looking over at where the hacker was currently spluttering with all of his might.
"You had the what!?" he finally managed to get out.
"Baby, Otacon." Snake said, "you know she was pregnant, right?"
"YES I KNOW SHE WAS-" he sprang up from his laptop and ran over to his aboptive sister, checking her over for- from what she could tell- was everything from bullet wounds to poison ivy. "WHEN DID YOU EVEN HAVE IT? YOU'VE BEEN HERE ALL DAY."
She simply blinked at this sudden intrution of her personal bubble. "Ah... about an hour ago. In the bathroom."
"But you were only in there for ten minutes."
"What do you think I would be doing in a bathroom for ten minutes, Otacon?" She asked reaching back for her book. "Putting on makeup?" Snake grinned. That's what he expected from his Baby Mama. Clean, efficient baby-making with no whining or hospital bills.
"Whu-where is the baby now, Lady?" Otacon asked, looking like he might die at any moment. She waved her hand over at a shoe-box on the shelf which he scrambled towards with a noise halfway between a long-suffering sigh and a whimper of pain. Sure enough, asleep in the shoe-box was the world's most bad-ass baby. "Lady." He said, picking up the baby and adjusting his glasses in a very disaproving manner. "You can't keep a baby in a shoe box."
"It's not a bad idea, actually" Snake said. "If our base were toe be infiltrated by the enimy, they probably walk right by, assuming that the contence of the box was nothing more than a pair of shoes. Assuming the kid doesn't get it wet, it'll keep him safe."
"That's right. I left some food in there too. Babies like carrots, right?"
"No Lady, babies don't like carrots."
"Huh."
"Have you even thought of a name for it- ahk... him?"
"Does it need a name?"
"He, Lady. He. And yes, he does." She gave him the look she gives to anyone when it is clear that she is failing utterly at having human emotions again. The 'Huh? Wazzat?' icon that doesn't look remotely confused or even all that interested. Mostly just expressionless. He used his 'Lemme think' icon on her, and responded "A child needs a name to help him creat an identity. Code names are well and good, but a child needs a name he can claim for his own."
"We shall name him," Snake said, his bandana BILLOWING DRAMATICALLY, "Little Boss."
"You can't name a kid 'Little Boss'" Otacon said, using that cute 'Metal Gear!?' icon beause he had used 'OMGWTFBBQ!!!111!' several times in this thread already. He decided to turn this into a double comment adding, with his animate 'a winner is you!' icon, "What do you think of the name Jake?"