It's been a long time since I've posted. The webworld and I have a very strong love/hate relationship. Mostly hate, but in the way I hate Bright Eyes
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Haven't talked to you since summer when we planning on talking but never did. Sorry to hear about your ambivalence with the ladies. I know what you mean about feeling like you're artistically devoid without some sort of grecian goddess. Love is imperative for creation. Not to say romantic love, but hey, it helps! It often times open your eyes up to other things. Anyway, before I get too sentimental sounding, here's a slutty picture of me wishing you a happy break and merry christmas! haha. And now I'm off to write about a british anthropologist instead of having a real life. *sigh*
It's good to hear from you too. I still have your number. Maybe I'll call soon. I've been thinking about hitchiking to Tulsa in the spring. Maybe I'll drop you a line.
Could be a lot of things Andy. She could just be playing you for attention. I don't think that's too likely. She may be committment phobic, maybe she got hurt before and so wants to keep you at arms length (but no further) if that makes sense. People want to feel attractive, this feeling really only comes out through attraction and you seem to be showing signs of that. So, if she doesnt want a committment (for whatever reason), but still wants to feel good and attractive, then she seems to have found a solution to both. In any case, don't fret over it. You mentioned the power dynamic and that's important too. Powerlessness in any relationship, even a casual one, really doesnt lead to the relationship being healthy. I don't think you are a creep, atleast on balance. I can see that you might creep out some people, but those arent the people who would be talking to you for hours at a time. As for not caring, there's no need to adopt an apathy policy or a jaded policy here. How attached are you to this girl?
It's not that I'm seeking power in the relationship, but that fact that I can never talk to her when I want to makes me feel powerless. Not in the "I'm a big man" kind of way, but in the "I have no power to understand this" kind of way. It feels like she can be my friend if she wants to, but I can't even try to be hers even though it seems like she wants me to. I'm not too attached. I mean I am leaving on my mission sometime soon here, but I really would like some kind of closure, even if it's "I'm not really interested in even being your friend." At least I wouldn't be confused and I would know whether it was okay to call her or not. That's really what I want, no more confusion
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Haven't talked to you since summer when we planning on talking but never did. Sorry to hear about your ambivalence with the ladies. I know what you mean about feeling like you're artistically devoid without some sort of grecian goddess. Love is imperative for creation. Not to say romantic love, but hey, it helps! It often times open your eyes up to other things. Anyway, before I get too sentimental sounding, here's a slutty picture of me wishing you a happy break and merry christmas! haha. And now I'm off to write about a british anthropologist instead of having a real life. *sigh*
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I'm not too attached. I mean I am leaving on my mission sometime soon here, but I really would like some kind of closure, even if it's "I'm not really interested in even being your friend." At least I wouldn't be confused and I would know whether it was okay to call her or not. That's really what I want, no more confusion
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