Do you know or speak Chinese? The Chinese that appears on River's page is grammatically incorrect. You also used two different sets of characters, one here and one in a comment in the OOC community.
If you want to use Chinese, I suggest finding someone who can correctly translate that quote for you, or please don't use it at all.
I use a variant of Simplified and Traditional Chinese text as Firefly-verse uses both on different occasions. Both are correct for River in any circumstance, and all my translated sentences are accurately translated in BOTH traditional and Simplified Chinese, from direct English grammar. This is common in Firefly as Chinese and English have become a sort of bastardized combination, it is not uncommon for grammatical combination's to occur.
The mods inform me however that despite my efforts in this area it doesn't matter as no matter what language people speak in Luceti, it all ends up coming out understandable to the person they are communicating with. All languages are one, in other words. So the point is moot.
Also, I can only do my best, if I were to use Chinese I only request you bear with me. As I do not speak Chinese myself, I cannot help having some errors when I try, and in my opinion it's better to do your best then not try at all.
If language doesn't matter in your game, then why use a language you are unfamiliar with at all? It may be canon for her to know Chinese, but it is grammatically wrong and you as the player look wrong or ignorant too. Your 'science is creepy' translation was incorrect because the characters used for 'creepy' indicate a physical movement, not a feeling
( ... )
As I've said, I do the best I can. It's a part of River and something that should be included in the playing of her.
However as it is something that I wont be doing because all languages sound the same in Luceti... it's a MOOT point. I'm sorry you took such an irritated stance towards my few uses in Luceti, but I haven't used any of said 'wrong' Chinese in any of my actual posts. Any continued complaints about my use of Chinese in River's RP posts for the main Luceti community to respond, of which there are none, is pointless.
Again, I'm sorry this 'issue' bugs you so much, but it really isn't a relevant problem as it has not, and will not, be used in the future anyways.
I've got no problem at all with your River muse, man -- in fact, I really do admire you for picking up such a tough character. But while your first-person writing for her is shiny so far, there's an aspect of your third-person writing I wanted to touch on. Nothing too major, just something to keep in mind.
Well... I think you might need to watch out for purple prose. Your sentences tend to run on about twice as long as they should, and after a point, the reader's eye/mind/whatever starts to wander and it just becomes confusing. For example,
River is slowly treading along a snowbank just inside the village, feet seeming to glide across the snow as her jewel toned skirt flits about her in wraith-like tendrils every time a breeze passes her
After about feet seeming to glide across the snow, it gets hard to keep up. The more inconsequential details -- jewel-toned skirt and wraith-like tendrils probably shouldn't be included, or should be part of their own sentence. Try something like this:
Thanks I guess, it's weird getting grammatical sentence structure advice from anon's on LJ, but thanks xD
It's a constant struggle with my longer writing, I try and avoid long third person logs as is. I do my best, and I'll take it into account if you felt the need to notify me.
"Also, holy crap that was a really long post about something fairly trivial."
I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific if you want an actual response. Also, this post is specifically for things you want answered, or concerns you might have, as your statement is more an opinion about what you deem relevant and irrelevant... It's not really appropriate to put here.
If you can clarify your thoughts into more constructive criticism, I would appreciate it. If not, please don't complain about what you think is 'trivial' about my character until you can give me useful suggestions or thoughts about the subject you're complaining about.
diff anon
anonymous
December 21 2009, 16:33:18 UTC
"Any continued complaints about my use of Chinese in River's RP posts for the main Luceti community to respond, of which there are none, is pointless."
Mhmm, felt like it. I'm giving full translations to the person who I'm threading with, and will be putting translations for all those who feel like they've been left out :< Sorry for excluding you all from my threading.
And THANK YOU for caring enough to let me know about something that was taken care of between the parties concerned, it really helps. BUT since you are feeling so excluded I might feel inclined to put up translations for the REST of the people watching someone else' threads.
And yeah, because of the language barrier, it doesn't matter, however I'm providing translations to anyone I'm tagging with. I simply like using Chinese with my character who speaks Chinese as a second language. But again, because you're feeling SOOOoOOoOOOOooo troubled by this, I might throw you a bone.
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If you want to use Chinese, I suggest finding someone who can correctly translate that quote for you, or please don't use it at all.
Reply
The mods inform me however that despite my efforts in this area it doesn't matter as no matter what language people speak in Luceti, it all ends up coming out understandable to the person they are communicating with. All languages are one, in other words. So the point is moot.
Also, I can only do my best, if I were to use Chinese I only request you bear with me. As I do not speak Chinese myself, I cannot help having some errors when I try, and in my opinion it's better to do your best then not try at all.
Reply
Reply
However as it is something that I wont be doing because all languages sound the same in Luceti... it's a MOOT point. I'm sorry you took such an irritated stance towards my few uses in Luceti, but I haven't used any of said 'wrong' Chinese in any of my actual posts. Any continued complaints about my use of Chinese in River's RP posts for the main Luceti community to respond, of which there are none, is pointless.
Again, I'm sorry this 'issue' bugs you so much, but it really isn't a relevant problem as it has not, and will not, be used in the future anyways.
Reply
Well... I think you might need to watch out for purple prose. Your sentences tend to run on about twice as long as they should, and after a point, the reader's eye/mind/whatever starts to wander and it just becomes confusing. For example,
River is slowly treading along a snowbank just inside the village, feet seeming to glide across the snow as her jewel toned skirt flits about her in wraith-like tendrils every time a breeze passes her
After about feet seeming to glide across the snow, it gets hard to keep up. The more inconsequential details -- jewel-toned skirt and wraith-like tendrils probably shouldn't be included, or should be part of their own sentence. Try something like this:
River treads slowly along a snowbank just ( ... )
Reply
It's a constant struggle with my longer writing, I try and avoid long third person logs as is. I do my best, and I'll take it into account if you felt the need to notify me.
Reply
Reply
I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific if you want an actual response. Also, this post is specifically for things you want answered, or concerns you might have, as your statement is more an opinion about what you deem relevant and irrelevant... It's not really appropriate to put here.
If you can clarify your thoughts into more constructive criticism, I would appreciate it. If not, please don't complain about what you think is 'trivial' about my character until you can give me useful suggestions or thoughts about the subject you're complaining about.
Reply
http://i45.tinypic.com/15hkgi9.jpg
You used Chinese.
Reply
And THANK YOU for caring enough to let me know about something that was taken care of between the parties concerned, it really helps. BUT since you are feeling so excluded I might feel inclined to put up translations for the REST of the people watching someone else' threads.
And yeah, because of the language barrier, it doesn't matter, however I'm providing translations to anyone I'm tagging with. I simply like using Chinese with my character who speaks Chinese as a second language. But again, because you're feeling SOOOoOOoOOOOooo troubled by this, I might throw you a bone.
Thank you for your continued concern.
Reply
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