I Need Your Help!
I have no Beta, so I have no one to throw my writing ideas off of. I'm hoping maybe someone here can help me. Basically, I need to stylistically distinguish between what is occurring in "real life" and what is happening in a video. I'm having trouble figuring out how to do it.
I have two characters are watching a video. The video is being described to the audience in detail as if they were watching it. While watching the video, the characters are responding to the video physically (growing anxious, reassuring hand holding, etc.) as well as communicating with one another. I'm trying to figure out how to sandwich these interactions between the video descriptions.
The kicker is that the characters are communicating telepathically, and this is denoted by the use of italics. So I can’t just stick the video in italics and call it a day. I need to do something else to keep it separate. I'm not quite sure what.
I initially wrote the video footage in present tense without realizing it, and the tense change could in theory set it apart. But would that be weird? And would people even notice the tense change for that to separate it enough? Do you have a better idea how to do this? Maybe changes in spacing? Or indentations? Or...???
I would be so appreciative of any general input anyone can give me. Or if anyone wants to read through the passage and offer specific input, I would be totally down for that too.
I have two characters are watching a video. The video is being described to the audience in detail as if they were watching it. While watching the video, the characters are responding to the video physically (growing anxious, reassuring hand holding, etc.) as well as communicating with one another. I'm trying to figure out how to sandwich these interactions between the video descriptions.
The kicker is that the characters are communicating telepathically, and this is denoted by the use of italics. So I can’t just stick the video in italics and call it a day. I need to do something else to keep it separate. I'm not quite sure what.
I initially wrote the video footage in present tense without realizing it, and the tense change could in theory set it apart. But would that be weird? And would people even notice the tense change for that to separate it enough? Do you have a better idea how to do this? Maybe changes in spacing? Or indentations? Or...???
I would be so appreciative of any general input anyone can give me. Or if anyone wants to read through the passage and offer specific input, I would be totally down for that too.