I'm not sure what to say. I feel like I don't fit in. Even when I try to join the group discussion I just come across like that person that everyone wants to shoot. I hate the way I act. I always feel like the biggest loser when I am around other people. Why do I even try anymore to fit in? I am never going to. I need friends that like the way I am ( Read more... )

It seems lately all I feel like doing now is writing in this fucking piece of crap journal. I know I should see someone for my problems but I feel like I don't have enough time to go and see a counselor. In fact I shouldn't be even writing in this because I have no time. This year I am trying to use my time more to my advantage. All last year I was ( Read more... )

I'm not totally sure but I think the bird screaming, not churping outside my window, wants to kill me. It sounds so close that it is going to fly through my window screen and peck at my eyes ( Read more... )

Fuck you kiddies. I'm not sure why the hell I even start off each journal with "Guess what kiddies" who the fuck would be reading this journal any ways? I don't have any friends. I don't have anyone that cares enough to want to talk to me besides to use me for something else. My life right now seems to be off track. I hate it with every ounce of my ( Read more... )

Yup that's right kiddies I am down in the shitter again. What's new? It just seems like for ever min. I'm up I am down for another hour. It's fucked up. I am not totaly sure why I am like this but I am. I am such a pussy. If I ever saw a kid like me I would soooooo punch him in the head to straighten him up. I am just getting sick of life these ( Read more... )

Well this is the ending of last night’s journal that I was too tired to finish. I would like to clear up a few things I wrote last night though. I want to take back that statement about Jen not being the friend I thought she was. She is a much better friend then I thought she was. Hell if anyone is welling to take out the time out of their day to ( Read more... )

Well I was all depressed again today after the Dane Cook show because I felt like my friends just kicked me in my face. When I got to the show there wasn't any room for me to sit. I didn't want to sit in front of Jen's sign because I would block it. I couldn't let her sit in front of me because then she wouldn't be around her other friend. So I sat ( Read more... )

Well kiddies it's like 6 something in the morning and I just woke up from watching the Family Guy dvd's alone again, and it is soooooooooo fucking cold. I have to wear my blue blanket like a shawl. So now I look like a little old lady, but one sexy old lady. Yeah I have problems I guess you could say that. I've been way too depressed lately still ( Read more... )

Well kiddies guess what? Yeah I am down again. I know I should be over it by now but I'm just not. When ever I'm by myself it jumps out from within my head. I just can't get over how Grandma and Jr past away. I guess I am a little girl in a blue dress or something. I know men aren't suppose to cry and shit but it still hurts so much when thinking ( Read more... )

Well I am back to Vermont and I am still feeling down in the shitter. Every time that I am alone I get to thinking about Grandma and Jr. I just can't get it straight in my head how god would have made them suffer so. Or why God would have taken her when I only got to see her for 30 mins. It was like God wanted to tease me or something. I got to see ( Read more... )