TOWJWAGABI, Part 2

[myrna1_2_3]

This is more experimental than I usually am. Usually, I totally know where the story is going and even though I adore comments and feedback and suggestions from readers, I've already got the story mapped out in my head, so the suggestions don't really figure in to the rest of the story

Comments

[estella7]

*cries cause Brian is so fucked up*

You've written Dan so well, that I will be sad to see him hurt. Regardless of the outcome, someone will be crying in their beer (besides me). lol

Well done. I really love fics that draw in the whole QaF cast as backgroud players. It makes it very much like the show and that works for me.

Brilliant Saturday afternoon reading. Now, I must do chores--I've stalled long enough. :(

[myrna1_2_3]

Thanks for the feedback!

Yeah, it's a no-win situation for somebody, but who?!

The more I think about it, the more a never-ever-ever-ending saga sounds like the right way to go! :p

[gradiva]

Now that you've admitted you haven't got this planned out, I'm almost scared to keep reading. But beautiful as always. Just... uh, put B/J back together again soon, k? thx.

[myrna1_2_3]

Just... uh, put B/J back together again soon, k? thx.

I was slugging in front of the TV and kept hearing this line and chuckling to myself. I imagine sounding the way Brian did when he and Justin marched into that book store to confront that author and Brian saw Ted was like, all under his breath, "Oh, hey! Hi!"

Thanks for the comments!

[highd]

HMBGHOHKLH

OK now that this out of my system this has me flummoxed( is that spelled right?)

I love Dan I love him he made me cry. I love Justin too he made me laugh and I am so sad for Brian because I don't think this is going to be easy to fix because Justin might not not need anything fixed god I need a chant of "they are my OTP" or something here

[myrna1_2_3]

Hee!

It will only get muddier and muddier.

Probably.

I'm more or less sure.

Thanks for the feedback!

[asybarite]

Not liking this Brian. In fact, it's going to take a lot of convincing to get me to believe that Justin should leave delicious Dan for this manipulative, vindictive Brian.

Why should Brian get to decide, after he discarded Justin so cruelly, that he wants his toy back, despite the fact that Justin has found himself in love with a wonderful guy?

I want this fic to go on and on, but so far, I'm not sure that Brian deserves Justin back. But I'm LOVING Dan.

Months later, whenever Dan was crossing the kitchen to put something in the fridge, he'd remember and chuckle to himself. And sometimes that memory was so visceral, so vivid, it would suck the breath right out of him

[myrna1_2_3]

but so far, I'm not sure that Brian deserves Justin back. But I'm LOVING Dan.

Hee!

Of course, everyone seems fine when you first meet them, so I'm sure there's a few little Dan warts we'll get to see eventually!

Glad you're enjoying the story so far! Thanks for letting me know!

[fierydragonsky]

I don't feel one bit sorry for this Brian and I'm completely rooting for Dan. The only thing that could make me dislike Dan would be if he turned into a Dr. Dave. However, back to sense and reason. My reason for disliking this Brian: He's acting like a five-year old. "I don't want this anymore!" "Why?" "Just 'cause!" Tantrum ensues, five-year old throws precious toy away. Later decides he wants it back. Brian would need some serious character growth to make me want him to have Justin back.

My favorite line: And if every once in awhile he looked down and to the left, ready to share some sardonic comment or trade wiseass remarks, well...that was just habit.

The first sentence befuddled me because I didn't know who the very first "he" refered to. I also would have liked to be clear on the time/chronology right from the start of this section. My mind kept bouncing back and forth trying to decide if it was before or after their breakup.

::waves a Dan flag::

[myrna1_2_3]

Thanks for the feedback! I'll keep in mind the chronology issues. It's so clear what's going on when you're the writer, sometimes it's hard to see the parts that are too vague! (I know, I know, get a beta reader. But what's great about posting a WIP in LJ is that all of you are the beta readers!).

My reason for disliking this Brian: He's acting like a five-year old.

So true! And like a five-year old, he's utterly certain that if it was his once, it's always his, even if he tried to get rid of it once! :p

[fierydragonsky]

I would absolutely love to be your bitc-- BETA. I mean beta. XD