this was the shittiest day of my life. i hope it doesnt repet tomorrow. :(

i am so fucking angry. i dont even have a reason to be. i just want everything to stop. all the noise all the pain all the frustration..all the cravings. MAKE IT ALL STOP. george thinks i should be put away for a while so i can get some help. answer some questions get some support. if he didnt mean so much. if i didnt care as much as i do. if if if ( Read more... )

i am so fucking sad. i feel like shit. i probly shouldnt have left georges. i did cuz i didnt want to be all sad over there. i feel like shit. o and i got ditched. but i dont really care about that. i just want this to all be over with. <3

well whats new... not much...ive been really down lately and i got my meds all switched around. they dont seem to be helping. i am doing pretty well with this i guess. i mean i havent cut. which is a good thing. george said yesterday that if i did he was going to dump me. which is a good reason NOT to. it wouldnt help anyway. i have a bitching ( Read more... )

i feel so bad. i just cant stand it. i am waiting for it to leave. i am trying really hard to make myself better but its just not working. i dont know hwat to do with myself anymore. this is to overwhelming and i feel like no one understand how bad this is cuz i cant even explain it all i wont tell. i cant. damn i need help. i wish i could hurt ( Read more... )

i am so depressed today and what i just read made me completely fall apart. with out you knowing or feeling my love, there is nothing left. i am so heartbroken.

i am so depressed and i have to wright this dumb ass report. i just want to sleep. i dont want to do a damn thing. i dont even want to breath thats too much work. i need to get better. i cant do this anymore. its so hard. i just want to give up. say i quite. and go away. i hate this. i need someone to hold me. well george to hold me. i hope he is ( Read more... )

well i know its 12:30 and not really the first anymore but i am still going to say it. today was me and georges 6 month anniversary. i love that kid. i have a shit load to think about!! i dont feel like sorting it all out right now so i am going to just ignore it all until i can no longer stand it. so my mother says to me today..." i dont think you ( Read more... )

okei so my mom has a boyfriend in N.Y. (boyfriend meaning best guy friend ever and the one and only guy that has ever made her happy.) and he just called. he loves me hes a pretty cool guy. so anyway she was talking about how he just turned 50 and how he cant get a boner and i just started laughing my ass off. it was great cuz my mom said it. <3

okei so life is tight right now. i am feeling pretty good. school is school so its ehh. but ill live i am doing good...mind you its only the second day but hey i dont care. i am doing good and i am proud. i love george. i miss him. i have to talk with him. STAT. as soon as i figuar out what the fuck i wanna say. i swear i wish that kid could read ( Read more... )