Pain

[mysti77]

I lay in bed with my 7 week old son asleep in my arms and I cannot imagine the pain my mother is in. I myself grieve but just the thought of my baby being so hurt that he has to take his own life makes me feel physically ill. I think about I every day, what could I have done to help my little bother. Why didn't I try harder to help him. Why couldn'

Comments

[nanila]

Oh my. This is absolutely awful. I'm so so sorry to read it. Will you be able to travel home to see your family? I hope so. If there's anything I can do for you here, please let me know.

All my best to you and baby. I hope you aren't too stressed with all these demands on your strength.

[mysti77]

Hi, thanks for this message, I did see it ages ago on my email but never came on to livejournal to reply.

I was able to travel to see my family, but it was very very stressful. I'm doing ok now, keeping very busy with my son, he really is the hope and light in my distressed heart.

There is still so much healing to do, and I think having a son I feel hurt not only for myself but for my mother. I feel guilt for being too hard on him, regret for not trying harder to be there for him.

But as I said, keeping myself busy with 'normal' life is helping the healing.