Comments | mystiquefey: This one is for you C. B.

mystiquefey

This one is for you C. B.

Jan 16, 2006 23:35

I was recently in a relationship, which allowed me to learn a bit more about myself before failing miserably. But isn't that always the case? A twisted form of hindsight, me thinks. It allowed me to add to the list of what I should look for, and ultimately avoid. Or maybe that's unfair. He's a good guy, a very good guy. Everything one should ( Read more... )

Comments 4

anonymous January 17 2006, 21:25:34 UTC

This is pretty harsh, but fair enough. I feel as if I owe you a few things before we cut off all contact, though. First of all, you were not a quick lay, or a conquest. An option may be closest to the actual truth. The only reason I say that is because I never wanted to be in a relationship with someone 2 hours away. I did it because I thought you were worth it and I still don't regret it. I do, however, regret some things. You mentioned that it seemed as if there was no passion from me. That may be true and it's something that I am struggling with right now. Not only do I feel guilty for it, but I also worry that I will never be able to break that chain. The reason it seemed like I wasn't very passionate about us is because I wasn't. I was straddling the fence: too scared to be alone but too frightened of going "all in" with you. I pushed you to open up to me because my heart usually opens to those who open their hearts to me. When we were talking after we split up, you did begin opening up to me and that probably ( ... )

First of all... mystiquefey January 17 2006, 23:52:04 UTC

It was very much for you. I know what my issues are. I don't open up to people. Lease of all romantically, for fear of it being used to hurt me in the long run. I know that I push, and when I do, I push as hard as I can. Call it a test, call it a mind game, but I need to know that who I'm with potentially for the long haul, can handle how much I would inevitably need them. I wanted you to be that person, so that's regrettable ( ... )

Re: First of all... mystiquefey January 18 2006, 01:11:24 UTC

I don't want it to come down to us not ever talking again. Despite what you may think, I did develop some strong feelings for you. I still have those feelings. Maybe I let my immaturity force me into trying to hurt you after you told me a few things that let me know you were done with and over us. Maybe I forced myself to be more apathetic towards you than I really wanted to. Yet, I can't place all the blame on myself when you seemed to grow more and more cold to me as time went on. And I know we weren't on the best of terms before last night, but what happened to trigger all of this? I did not expect to get that company last night and I wasn't too happy to have it. It had nothing to do with me making you a priority. I would have gladly talked with you rather than the guest that arrived without invitation. But you didn't seem as if you had much to say, so I chose the easy way out ( ... )

mystiquefey January 18 2006, 03:32:33 UTC

If you want to keep in contact, it's on you. There are only so many times that I can call, or message you, what not. And as much as you say it, there were about as many times that you did call me back, as you didn't. You had moved on as well, so why couldn't I tell you those things? I know I asked you questions and pryed into that part of your life, but I would have rather known about them than made up the scenarios in my mind. And the reason I'm so disappointed and frustrated is that apathy. I went from someone that you couldn't wait to talk to, to someone that you would call if you just got bored..while you still remained someone I couldn't wait to talk to ( ... )