Snowboarding and "Stuff"
Saturday was the second time I have gone snowboarding this season. Though still excited, my mood was not as elevated as last week. Whether it was solely because I had some things to contemplate or also because of other factors, I do not know for sure. Before I left I pulled an Osho Zen Tarot card to give me the day's subject upon which to contemplate. I told myself if I pull a "negative card" I am not going to try again. I pulled the card. It was "Sorrow". Negative at first glance. However, there are no negative cards or even emotions (that was the thought from my healer for me for the week). The description spoke of Ananda, Buddha's cousin and disciple:
"The image is of Ananda, the cousin and disciple of Gautam Buddha. He was at Buddha's side constantly, attending to his every need for forty-two years. When Buddha died, the story is told that Ananda was still at his side, weeping. The other disciples chastised him for his misunderstanding: Buddha had died absolutely fulfilled; he should be rejoicing. But Ananda said, "You misunderstand. I am weeping not for him but for myself, because for all these years I have been constantly at his side but I have still not attained." Ananda stayed awake for the whole night, meditating deeply and feeling his pain and sorrow. By the morning, it is said, he was enlightened. Times of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, and experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.
This pain is not to make you sad, remember. That's where people go on missing.... This pain is just to make you more alert - because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who cares? Who bothers to become alert? When a friend dies, there is a possibility. When your woman leaves you alone - those dark nights, you are lonely. You have loved that woman so much and you have staked it all, and then suddenly one day she is gone. Crying in your loneliness, those are the occasions when, if you use them, you can become aware. The arrow is hurting: it can be used. The pain is not to make you miserable, the pain is to make you more aware! And when you are aware, misery disappears."
I teared after the first paragraph. It resonated with the current inner child healing work I am doing. The rest also resonated with many of times I have experienced, the times which led me to becomre more alert!
I started out the day on the slopes a bit rusty. The snow was a bit slushy, but not terrible. The slushiness, though, was making my edges a bit more vulnerable. I caught an edge on the second run and tumbled. I became much more alert afterwards and adjusted my body to the conditions. I did not fall again for the rest of the day. I did however, feel like I was going to be airborne a few times. I was pushing my limits a bit and flying down the slopes. I got to the point where I went through the run without slowing down much. That required a bit of a fit, because there were a bunch of people in the way. There were a few close calls. On one I actually softly collided with another rider, but he was the one that ate it. I felt bad for him, but it happens. I was having problems with my boots and bindings, and I finally admitted to myself that I should invest in new boots and possibly new bindings. I am still debating about the Flow system I currently have. It may be that the traditional double strap bindings may be better at supporting the foot. Luckily, Burton demo is coming to Meadows in a few weeks, so I can actuall try out the boots and bindings I am thinking about getting. Now, that is really nice, for it rarely happens!
As the day progressed, I was having more fun, despite the gear problems. I do feel though, that my riding will improve as I get the proper gear. In fact, the boots and bindings are the heart of the gear, since that is how power transfers from the feet to the board.
My assignent from Elaine was to have a conversation with my 6-year old self and ride with him and a wolf spirit. I tried to remember, but it takes concentration to ride, so I kept spacing all else. Finally, I rememberd on the chair lift and summoned the spirit. Then I forgot again. I briefly remembered during a run to imagine them riding with me, but I decided to try this again another time. After four and a half hours, it started to get dark. My goggles are not for night riding, and I was getting tired, so I decided to stop. In fact, I decided to stop after I saw a huge line at the lift - all the folks who take advantage of the cheap Safeway Sat. $10 nigts had arrived. That was enough for me. I had a pretty fun last ride - a few close calls navigating through the slower riders (which, by all means, I can be one as well!) and I gained substantial speed on the last stretch. It was a good ending. I am definitely looking forward to getting better/proper gear and going back on the slopes! Did I mention I LOVE SNOWBOARDING?! I LOVE THE MOUNTAIN! Ok, well, now I did!