Comments | mytay: Fic: Mad World, Chapter 8 (Second Half)

mytay

Fic: Mad World, Chapter 8 (Second Half)

Oct 27, 2011 16:23

( Blaine stared down at their interlocked fingers, smiling a little, )

mad world, character: mercedes jones, character: burt hummel, character: carole hudson, character: finn hudson, character: blaine anderson, glee fic, characters: whole glee club, character: kurt hummel, characters: the hudson-hummel family

Comments 14

caliena October 27 2011, 21:58:00 UTC

*is sobbing too hard for words*
Sorry, can't comment really...

mytay October 27 2011, 23:30:41 UTC

Oh honey . . . *hands over tissues, teddy bears, warm chocolate-chip cookies, and a glass of milk*

Does it help if I tell you that I think you're awesome for crying? Awkward sounding as it is, it is true - and I feel like I must thank you for it :)

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* I love you and your tears!

webeh October 28 2011, 06:48:24 UTC

I have to admit, I'm glad the school dished out punishments to all the kids that got involved in the brawl. Because, it sends a bad message if no one was punished for that fight. Even though Kurt was victimized, more students could have been seriously hurt when that fight broke out. Fighting was not a solution in that situation and a lot of kids made some bad decisions, which they should face consequences for.

I'm still really curious about what's going on with Rachel and her mysteriousness. I wonder if it'll somehow involve her parents and something political/legal.

It just occurred to me. Because Ida's not part of a group, she doesn't have the same support system at school the way Kurt does. I wonder if anyone is visiting her to make sure she's okay. Because she's new, I can see her being forgotten.

Blaine's eyes went huge at that random segue,And that was a pretty awesome segue. LOL!!! Mercedes, love you ( ... )

mytay October 29 2011, 03:01:28 UTC

Yay for consequences! :D I wouldn't have been able to write this without having the Glee kids and the jocks getting in trouble. What they did was serious - as you said, the potential for grave injury was pretty high - high enough that more than one kid had to go and get checked out at the hospital. I asked people who work in the school system where I live, and they told me that in all likelihood, suspension is the bare minimum they would get. More often than not, especially if it was a violent assault (Finn v. Karofsky, Azimio v. Kurt), expulsion would get put on the table, but if not, suspension and a call to the police for sure.

"I'm still really curious about what's going on with Rachel and her mysteriousness. I wonder if it'll somehow involve her parents and something political/legal." You are most definitely not wrong :)

"Because Ida's not part of a group, she doesn't have the same support system at school the way Kurt does. I wonder if anyone is visiting her to make sure she's okay. Because she's new, I can see her being ( ... )

morgan_d October 28 2011, 07:24:08 UTC

Oh dear, new chapter, and I hadn't even commented on the second half of chapter 7 yet ( ... )

mytay October 29 2011, 04:41:20 UTC

Oh kind and wonderful Morgan, I adore you :D First off - you do not need to comment on every part :) Believe me, it is a joy to see your name in my inbox, but I most definitely do not want you to feel like it's an obligation to me, or that you'll offend me if you don't - read and comment when and if you can, and only if you want to! *hugs* Secondly - I am in love with you criticisms. Really :D I see constructive criticism, or kindly-worded subjective criticism, and I get all giddy. Ridiculously so. I may have bounced in my chair several times while reading this glorious comment.

Okay, this bit of brilliancy first: " . . . So yeah, with Ida's return, I was a tiny bit worried that the story would suddenly become about her. But it didn't. I really love that she's so shy (like I was around that age), because her presence is important, but while she saved Kurt's life, she's not the narrative hero of the story." Your entire paragraph on the dangers and careful balancing act in writing an original character was so great, not only because ( ... )

morgan_d October 28 2011, 07:24:52 UTC

(Long comment is too long for LJ.)

One remark I do believe to be objective: At the end, when everyone leaves, Mercedes stays and witnesses that entire moment between Kurt and Burt. She's pretty much irrelevant in the scene. The conversation is between the two men only. Kurt's asked her to stay, but he doesn't draw comfort from her except for one brief moment of hand-holding (her initiative, not his). She has a lot of feelings and thoughts, but they're all voiced by Burt, not her. And I'm thankful for that. I mean, it's a beautiful, beautiful father/son moment, I was terrified that she'd ruin it by speaking out of turn or interfering in any way. (Irony of ironies: she spent the chapter trying to be THE ONE for Kurt, and when she finally has the chance to speak her mind, she lets someone else do it.) Mercedes felt wrong being there witnessing such a personal moment, and to be honest, I felt that wrongness too, very deeply. Except that she needed to be there for one very pragmatic (and artificial) reason: she held the pov ( ... )

mytay October 29 2011, 04:42:07 UTC

And here I go with more! :D

Mercedes' mother was, understandably I think, putting her daughter first; however much she feels awful for Kurt, Mercedes' pain is her priority, the same way Kurt's problems are Burt's. But I'm sure later on, behind-the-scenes, there's discussions on how much is too much for Kurt.

"But a sad lesson for her is that she can't make up for everything she didn't do before by being everything he needs now. She's not, she can't be, and she's going to smother him if she tries. (Apparently, thankfully, she's realized that by the end of the chapter.)" That's it. Exactly. God, that's so damn perfect. You've just figured out/summed up her motivations for me, and I am so giving you full credit :D

"I honestly feel that specific moment - given what is discussed, the dynamic between the characters, the feelings both of them are revealing -- would have worked so much better if told from Burt's pov. But for that you'd have to change pov mid-chapter, which would jar with the overall structure of the story. A writer's ( ... )

whosgotyou October 28 2011, 22:17:24 UTC

Not really much to say. I'm really curious as to what's going on with Rachel. Kurt break down was heart breaking to read. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

mytay October 29 2011, 04:53:25 UTC

Despite having not much to say, you make me smile :D Rachel's issues shall be revealed in the next chapter, and Kurt's breakdown was something I'd been wanting to write for a long time - thank you for finding it heartbreaking - I wanted it to be that, I hoped really damn hard it would be that :) *hugs*