Fanfiction // Go Not Gently (FF9) // Epicenter: Courting the Apocalypse
So what is Go Not Gently, exactly? (Yes, this is another Go Not Gently FST. Aren't you all lucky?)
I've always thought an adequate adjective would AWESOME. Go Not Gently is AWESOME. If you're not a fan of Eiko, or a fan of FF9, or even a fan of the Final Fantasy series in general, then this will make a fan out of you. FAIR WARNING: This story is not for children, pets, or people with congenital heart diseases. THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOU CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL AND CUT INTO YOUR SOUL FOREVER. Or if it doesn't, at least it will make you a fan of spiderflower, a.k.a. Guardian, the lovely lady behind this fourteen-chapter massacre of the heart epic. I've always been an Eiko fan, but even I can't stand to read how she's written in a majority of Final Fantasy 9 fics. Heck, I can't even stand how she's been written in the actual game! (And I still liked her. Don't that beat all.)
The best thing this fic does for the entire game, really, is that it takes the world of FF9 -- which I loved -- and brings out a lot of the darkness that was actually in the game, making you look at it all from a different perspective. People tend to be disinclined to take FF9 seriously because everyone is either an anthromorphized rat, a cartoonishly deformed tyrant, or a metal thong-wearing prettyboy. Final Fantasy's sprite-based games got better respect than FF9. But think about it. Final Fantasy 9 is a story about human greed, and searching to find just who you really are, and how, sometimes, all people want is a chance to live. I mean, really. It's amusing to see little super-deformed figures killing each other on the screen, but you can't forget that to all intents and purposes, FF9 was basically about war and death and rebirth.
...Which is also what Go Not Gently, in a broad sense, is about! I'm not actually talking about the fic, you know, so I apologize. But really, I loved FF9, so I suppose you'll have to forgive me for fangasming on and on and on about it.
In a nutshell, this fic will make you cry, it will make you laugh, it will make you die, only to revive you so that you can read it. Again. So go and read it already at FF.net or on the Go Not Gently website (I have a piece of old art on there, which I sent in while the story was still in progress! I'm 'Mana Angel'. 8D).
'Epicenter' incorporates song quotes, fic quotes (which should speak for the fic itself, really, so I shouldn't need to summarize it), and... three 'CDs', if you will, arbitrarily dubbed 'Eiko', 'Tango', and 'Rain', but mostly having very little to do with the character they're named for. Basically, Eiko is where I stuffed all female vocals into, Tango is where all the angry teenage punk songs went to (you have NO idea how hard it was not to go overboard on those), and Rain is where the atmospheric and background songs went into. The biggest problem was not doubling artists up; everything by Garbage seemed to fit Eiko, everything Blink 182 screamed Tango at me and then jumped up and down on my spine until I listened to it. As it is, I managed to avoid Blink-182, though 'Down' still screams at me from the little corner I punted it into. Aheh?
Factlet: This was composed during NaNoWriMo, so forgive it for being a little disjointed. The funny thing is, for all the J-Pop/J-Rock tracks? I swear, god's own truth: I didn't know what the lyrics meant until I looked them up, and I chose them purely based on sound. And then I found out they actually kind of fit, which was, er, a 'o noes, it's fate' moment. Serendipity, anyone?
Factlet 2: Counting bonus tracks, this FST has a total of ... eight languages, I think. Latin, English, Japanese, Filipino, Finnish, Spanish, Swedish, and whatever-it-is Sweet Lullaby is in. All the lyrics (that I could get) were translated into English.
Factlet 3: DON'T TRY TO FIND MEANING IN THIS FST, BECAUSE I TRIED AND THERE IS NONE, I TELL YOU, THERE IS NONE. The quotes are chosen because they made me laugh or they made me cry; if they happen to match up to a song, well, that's a happy coincidence, but er, in all honesty? I chose and matched them up randomly. I WIN.
Factlet 4: I tried to make this make sense, but I failed even at that. I'm so, so sorry.
Factlet 5: I giggled while making this FST. This should tell you much about my state of mind after NaNo.
Factlet 6: The word innocence and references to such crop up too much in the song lyrics, too much so for a three-syllable word! O well.
Also, another Go Not Gently FST can be found right here, by easilybored, and it's worth checking out, because I'm pretty sure it's more thought-out than mine was! This fic is hot enough to have not one, but two FSTs, oh yes indeed. Mine, er, makes a lot less sense, mostly (and also, ahaha. If we chose any quotes the same, it's because I am psychic and have always been great minds think alike, so there!)
Eiko:
Nagmamadali -- Bridge
Angels Fall First -- Nightwish
Minna Ga Iine -- Aki Maeda
Bleed Like Me -- Garbage
Sweet Lullaby -- Deep forest
Calypso -- Spiderbait
Cruel to be Kind -- Letters to Cleo
The air from TIFANA - Gensoumaden Saiyuki
Someone -- Sun Yan Zi
Kimi ga Ita Monogatari -- See-Saw
Up to the Roof -- Blue Man group
[[Download 'Eiko' -- 11 Tracks -- 43.6 MB]]
Tango:
Syunikiss -- Malice Mizer
Shut Me Up -- Mindless Self Indulgence
October -- U2
Innocence Again -- Switchfoot
3 Libras -- A Perfect Circle
Mies Del Dolor -- Blind Guardian
Garden of Eden -- Bridge
Your Winter -- Sister Hazel
Courage -- Alien ant Farm
Even Less -- Porcupine Tree
Above -- Blue Man Group
[[Download 'Tango' -- 11 Tracks -- 42.5 MB]]
Rain:
Lilium -- Kondo Yukio
The Cape of Storms -- Hyde
Epitaph -- Weiss Kreuz
Hitomi ni Utsuru Nono -- L'Arc~en~cCiel
Theme of Mana -- Legned of Mana
Ancient Dragon's Fort -- Yasunori Mitsuda
The Chase of Highway -- Nobuo Uematsu
Aeris' Theme (Piano) -- Nobuo Uematsu
Honeycomb Child -- Natalie Imbruglia
True Light -- Miyamoto Shuichi
Savior -- Red Hot Chili Peppers
[[Download 'Rain' -- 11 Tracks -- 47.6 MB]]
Fair Warning: Sort-Of-Spoilers Below.
Left to Right: Eiko, Tango, Rain. If any of you who've read the fic can actually tell why Tango's hair has red streaks, then I pulled that off better than I thought I did. Text-less version can be found on DA; before you ask, yes, I know Tango's outfit is not canon and makes him look like a vampire. XD It was referenceless, hush. I messed up tracks 4 and 5 too, on Eiko's tracklist, but there's no correcting it now. :<
... Female vocals, generally, with some pretty instrumental things. I uh. Honestly don't know what I'm doing, here.
1 // Nagmamadali (Hurrying) -- Bridge
[[Unofficially stuck in my head as Eiko's Theme; it's a duet in Filipino.]
Our story's not over yet,
It's just been turned upside-down.
Our desires got ahead of us.
Let's start from the start.
This is a story about Vivi, and Vivi’s legacy, and Vivi’s children, and me, to a tiny extent.
2// Angels Fall First -- Nightwish
Needed elsewhere
To remind us of the shortness of our time
Tears laid for them
Tears of love tears of fear
Bury my dreams dig up my sorrows
Oh Lord why
The angels fall first?
No matter how little I wanted Vivi to suffer, that never stopped the angry floods of tears into my pillow, the fiery volcanic tantrum that left all of my precious moogles too frightened to come into my room to try and quell my sobs, or any of the maids when in final violent destruction my headbutting the wall tore a hole in it. Although we had been estranged for far too many years, I still couldn’t take this perceived betrayal of my childhood companion.
Ashes to ashes…
A world without Black Mages. No more little bobbing hats, no more lamplight eyes, Vivi gone for ever. I still remember my tears salty on Zidane’s shoulder, and his wet on my hair.
Dust to - mist to mist, Vivi, would that be more suitable?
3// Minna Ga Iine (All So Wonderful) -- Aki Maeda
The wind puffs up my shirt;
it's just like in a dream
There's so much I want to talk about...
We'll meet again tomorrow, right?
Will such a day like today come to an end someday?
Though I wish these days would continue on forever.
“Only grown-ups have kids.”
“They get them a different way, though.” Superior and supercilious. “It involves kissing. You were kind of more like a cicada. So what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“… a fireman?”
“VIVI!”
“I’d be a good fireman.”
“You don’t want to be a fireman!”
“Well, they’re awfully neat.”
Admittedly true. “You don’t want to be one, though.”
“I want to be… happy. Like Zidane and Garnet.”
Cherry pie devoured thoughtfully. “Happy’s easy.”
Surprisingly, “No, it’s not.”
4// Sweet Lullaby -- Deep Forest
Young brother, young brother you be quiet
Although you are crying to me
Your father has left us
He has gone to the place of the dead
Protect the head of the living, Protect the orphan child
They say you shouldn't touch another mage's wand or racquet or staff; it's polluting to the magic and the vibes. In reality, if everyone knew the purifying practises, you wouldn't want to touch them anyway - those things are spat on, sneezed on, bled on, wept on, and much worse. All the icky sanctifying magic cooties a wand could hope for go into a good one. Forget Ice Rods and Fire Rods - we're talking about universal Magic Rods Of Flu.
5// Bleed Like Me -- Garbage
Just try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
You should see my scars
"I'm okay." I delicately stopped licking the spoon and set it down in my bowl. "... I miss my home, though, Rain. Tango... I never can tell if he's going to kill me or not."
"He does, admittedly, have issues - "
I snorted at the winner of the Understatement Of The Year.
6// Calypso -- Spiderbait
Sunshine
On my window
Makes me happy
Like I should be
Outside
All around me
Really sleazy
Then it hits me
Don't tell me
You can't see
What it means to me.
Not even Mama had ever drawn herself up with such ice and dignity. "I still haven't forgiven you, and I don't think I ever will. So don't kiss me again, Black Tango, or I'll have your bloody kneecaps."
7// Cruel to be Kind-- Letters to Cleo
[[Why are there so many '10 Things I Hate About You' tracks on this FST? Because it's appropriate. >o>]]
I pick myself up off the ground
And have you knock me back down
Again and again
And when I ask you to explain
You say you gotta be
Cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you
Baby, you gotta be cruel to be kind
"It's no use holding the Master to ransom." He held the spoon up again, his voice soft and warm like ashes as usual. "He'll just... do things, Eiko, to make you eat."
"He couldn't do anything to make me do anything."
"He can hurt us in front of you." He bumped the tip of the spoon on my lips. "He can kill us in front of you. All of us. Just to make you eat."
Completely stunned, I stared at him. Tango wouldn't. He couldn't. But that was exactly the way he would think, wasn't it? Hurt others until I agreed to do his bidding. Like with Rain and the spanner. Like with everything.
8// the air from TIFANA -- Gensoumaden Saiyuki
"Work a bit," I said cagily, standing up. I'd found some ruched trousers in Kuja's closet - thank the Gods, though they seemed more thermal underthings than proper leg-covers - and I pulled them on, not bothering to change my shirt. In a house full of little boy-children Mages and the man who has not washed since puberty, my hygiene was getting more than mildly slovenly at times. Not that I had exactly been clean back in the days of being an engineer (so long ago: months are years now), but I tended to always wash and wear clean clothes. I wiped my mouth on a sleeve. "Is there anywhere I can work, Rain? A nice, big, empty room?"
<9// Someone -- Sun Yan Zi
Why does the world deceive?
Why do I make believe?
Took my heel and made Achilles out of me…
Still I would want to be
Someone who’d answer to me:
Someone who sees like a child, gives like a saint,
Feels like an angel - never mind the broken wings,
And speaks like a picture, cries like the rain, shines like a star,
As long as the fire remains.
The light was blasting through the stained-glass windows as I ran, colouring my skin ruby and topaz and emerald as I darted past. The halter top I'd stolen from the wardrobe tried to slip off my skin, too big, not meant for the cut of my body; I was far less powerfully built than the delicate-strong Kuja. I held it to myself, moving, past the gloomy corridors, past the windows where I could hear the whistle of the wind and the antlions calling, and into the end of the west wing.
When I reached the end, the simple little door in the darkness wasn't locked. I pushed it open, silently and easily.
Inside was a garden.
10// Kimi Ga Ita Monogatari (The Story Where You Were) -- See Saw
[[Eiko's Battle Music, Sort Of. I call it, in my head, 'The Music Eiko Runs To'. 8D]]
Please believe that as we are, the two of us,
Can go to the other side of the frozen sky
Because, closer than anyone, anywhere in the distance,
The dream where you are is already an inerasable memory.
"You're a fool, Eiko," he said quietly, the laughter stopping as suddenly as it had begun. "You're a fool and sometimes I hate you for playing out this pretense that you can do this."
Wand wedged at my hips, shedding white over everything as I pulled my glasses off the desk I had injured myself on. "How long does he have?"
11// Up to the Roof -- Blue Man Group feat. Tracy Bonham and Rob Swift
What I want you have not got.
Tried to use things you sold me, no matter what the cost
Tried to go the way you told me, but each time, I got lost
The stairs didn't lead me anywhere!
I'm taking the fire escape up to the roof.
Don't care if it's not the way you find the truth.
Time to make this right: to rise above.
Death was close now. Some organ within me called to him, owned him, was unsteady master of the untamed entity, the foolish caller ready to be summoned whole. Every so often I would curl and spasm in Tango's grip, bones and jellied flesh as some kind of fit of electricity ran through me, spiritual epilepsy as Necron silently howled both derision and victory. It was my memory that summoned him, and it was pulling me apart; I was already in pieces. Beneath my spine I could dimly feel the love-abandoned hands of my Eidolons as - like pallbearers - they carried me forward, they carried me to Death, they carried me and he carried me, it will live with me until I die.
[[Download 'Eiko' -- 11 Tracks -- 43.6 MB]]
... I'm sorry for reducing you to this pot of teenage angst, Tango, I'm so, so sorry. ...Actually, I'm not.
1// Syunikiss -- Malice Mizer
[[The lyrics are out-of-place until later on (or well, EVER on), but this is perfect intro music.]]
You gaze at the sky with lifeless eyes,
As if you know the place to which you must return.
Ah... to the lord dwelling in the sky that granted my prayers,
I make one more wish... "Return to her her heart."
Ah... to the lord dwelling in the sky that granted my prayers,
Grant my last wish... "Let her rest in peace."
With cold fingers I trace the tearstains on your cheek,
In a trembling voice, "Return to the sky" I repeat.
The figure - I called it he out of the simple subconscious need to place anything destructive with a masculine gender - stopped so quickly I shot past him, having to flip around so hard I saw red spots in front of my eyes and my palms were slick with sweat. The smoke from the fires was going to reach me soon, and I was going to choke; I didn’t care. All I could do was stare at him; those malevolent golden eyes, curved into crescents and utterly emotionless behind the smoke-dark mask. He turned to survey the city, overturned utterly into chaos, and then back at me, as if to say; Well? Did you like my handiwork?
2// Shut Me Up -- Mindless Self Indulgence
"Quite a feisty one, aren’t you, Princess?" A touch of - something - moved into his tone. "Coming along was your own stupid fault, little girl, because you are boneheaded and stupid and like all other humans on this earth and you see the situation like a glass sphere - you can’t see into it properly, just your distorted reflection."
Not a rant. I didn’t need his lunatic mutterings. So much for thinking him lucid for a moment. "Look. Go tell your excuses to the old stove in the corner, I couldn’t care less about your reasons. Who are you?"
A rustling. The candle was retrieved, but not lit; the touch in his voice grew, and the tone was of bitter irony. "Tango."
3// October -- U2
October
When the trees are stripped bare
of all they wear
What do I care?
October
When kingdoms rise
and kingdoms fall
But you go on.
For a man who would hit me across the room without a moment's notice, he was docile to my touch. I pulled him off the counter, hands firm on his wrists; with the mages watching us, utterly shocked, I dragged him over to the other side of the kitchen and the water-pump. "How long has it been since you washed your hair? All right, I bet you don't - how long has it been since it last rained on you? Oh, Gods, we're in a desert, I bet never - "
4// Innocence Again -- Switchfoot
Who are you gonna be?
When you're on your knees, who do you believe?
Fear is lonely man
You've been given innocence
You've given innocence again<
"Life gets old quickly, Eiko."
Petulant, petulant, and it was the first time he had used my name alone; salt and lemon juice, vindictive like spit. My head hurt again. I was only equipped for dealing with nice, calm, impersonal villains who probably wanted my money or were at least insane in a way I could understand and had a mustache they could twirl. Tango had no mustache, and whatever he was twirling, it was making me dizzy.
5// 3 Libras -- A Perfect Circle
Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection down among a million same
Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over
When I’ve looked right through to see you naked but oblivious
And you don’t see me
"Get away from me, Tango."
"You don't know. You never-knew. You had no idea. You have no idea. You sit in your little palaces and every year you go and put flowers but it doesn't matter, my people a dream and a theory in textbooks, and where was I, where was I, he said he'd always be there for me - "
"Get away from me."
His words ended in a long, shuddery cry. When he spoke again, his words were dry, the tone measured, unexpected sanity.
"I never meant to take you with me, Eiko Carol. The hell you entered is one of your own devising."
My voice was a broken rasp. "I wish you'd killed me. I wish you'd kill everyone."
"You'd give up the world," - and I already had - "just for the memory of one little boy?"
6// Mies Del Dolor (Harvest of Sorrow) -- Blind Guardian
At the dawn of our living time
Hope may cover all cries
Truth lurks hidden in the shadows
Dreams might be filled with lies
Soon there will be night
Pain remains inside
"Such sweet saccharine nonsense, linden-bloom. What we did together, was it so courageous? Zidane walked among us as an angel of death, down in the dark places, his heart a crippled worm of blackness worse than Kuja's. Worse than Garland. He danced the dance of death and everything he touched turned to dust, linden-bloom. We walked in Alexandria and it exploded. We walked in Lindblum and it exploded. We walked in Burmecia and it exploded. We walked in Cleyra and it exploded. We walked in Terra, the dead planet, and it died. Do you truly know the things Zidane did, down, down, in the dark, with his hands and feet and mouth?"
7 // Garden of Eden -- Bridge
[[Yeah, this is what I meant by doubling up artists. Oh lord, I'm so weak.]]
You shake your head
And mumble
A litany of regrets
About your golden childhood,
When you could do no wrong
Oh how the world
Stole your innocence.
I'd read the fairytales. The young man who disappears grows up to be the strong, wild, handsome prince; he is noble, and saves, and he's got rippling muscles and long black coalsilk hair which goes through your fingers like water when you comb them through it. He does not become a dirty, blood-soaked, filth-matted, wild-eyed abusive madman who alternately cries and sings in cracked off-key up in the rafters, some half-caught song about memories. If he does, he does not forget the lyrics and put in words halfway.
8// Your Winter -- Sister Hazel
You read my eyes just like your diary,
oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself,
And I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
Tango was a whimpering wreck a few metres away from me, tangled in himself, feathers on the floor and his hands working over himself as they desperately tried to brush off something long gone. I rose up, my feet dragging over the floor, and kicked him viciously in the side. The last rags of my shirt fell to the floor, my clothes a matching wreck for my body.
He just curled up harder. I kicked him again.
"How's it feel to be the one on the floor?"
"Don't," he croaked.
I kicked him again, harder, though I was swaying on my feet and ready to fall. "Why should I show mercy to you?"
9// Courage -- Alien ant Farm
Contrary to the matter
Who you are, you are not
Come with me, I'll show you Saturn
Planets don't quite align
You should try not to be so courageous
I never said you were a mistake at all
You got it all wrong, you're misunderstanding
"I love you," I said, and he kissed me; he kissed me like a nine-year-old boy, he kissed me on my lips, he kissed me like Black Tango and it burned like holy fire on my mouth and teeth and tongue until my spit tasted like the windblown remnants of ashes. He kissed me goodbye.
10// Even Less -- Porcupine Tree
A body is washed up on a Norfolk beach
He was a friend that I could not reach
He thought I was cold but I understand
But for the grace of god goes another man
And I may just waste away from doing nothing
But I'm a martyr to even less
They took me back to Lindblum. I got a new pair of glasses. I was Eiko Fabool once more, with a new baby, and a husband, and Garnet had warned against the whole damn thing but I threw myself back into engineering and cut my hair until it was short again and some of the scars faded. Alun and I had seperate rooms - poor man, he had the most things thrown at him, I think - and I would sit in mine without even Vita, who had her own nanny, and I would look outside my window at the ballet of airships and my rebuilding city and want the dusty dryness of the Desert Palace. I wanted motheaten tapestries. I wanted the screams of antlions. I wanted Black Mages. It was all gone for ever.
11// Above -- Blue Man Group
"Vita," I whispered, "what have you brought us here for? You have ten seconds to tell me everything, and I don't want any of your lip, so make it good, you understand me?"
"Fulfilling a promise," she sighed, annoyed. "I should have done it years ago, but I didn't know how. Then I worked out if my body could do it, and it can; I haven't tried, but it can, I know it, I won't make a mistake."
"I don't know who you got your babbling from. Oh, wait. Yes, I do."
The trees were laden with their precious parcels, still strong and beautiful, flowers all around the feet as the roots drank greedily at the soil. Little Iifa trees. The air was thick with something like the promise of Mist; and there were lights, blue lights, and all Vita did was raise her hands. Her fingers were like conductor's batons; she waved them, as if bringing the first chord to earth, and there was song:
The souls of the Black Mages cracked.
[[Download 'Tango' -- 11 Tracks -- 42.5 MB]]
...this is mostly just setting/theme music. And okay, so I copped out and became lazy and didn't look up ALL the lyrics of this section; also, most of the instrumental tracks? I ran out of appropriate quotes. This IS just atmosphere, you know, sheesh...
1// Lilium -- Kondo Yukio
Blessed, the man who endures temptation,
For Once tried
He shall recieve the Crown of Life.
Oh Lord, Oh Holy Fire, have mercy.
Oh how sacred.
How serene.
How benevolent.
How lovely.
Oh Lily of Purity.
"This is what Black Mages are made out of, linden-bloom," he suddenly said. "Cloth and dust and souls." Leather finger ran down the front of the sphere, pretty as a jewel. "I never was able to make a flesh shell for them, precious. When you try that, you get the one-two-three, the Waltz, hideous and heinous and I pulp them in my fingers when they're born. No, Carol, these are my children's materials." He rocked it with his hand, and started to laugh. "The fruit of my loins."
2// The Cape of Storms [Piano Version] -- Hyde
My eyes adjusted to the area around me and for some reason it felt familiar. I was in a high-ceilinged room, the rafters dark and looming and the air thick with age. Thick, but dry; I’d tasted that dryness before. It was cool to the point of an uncomfortable, sunless chill - little moisture in the air, my mind thought clinically - possibly somewhere up in the snow, though wouldn’t the air temperature be colder still, somewhere above sea level -
Sod the climate, where the hell was I?
3// Epitaph -- Weiss Kreuz
Even if I protect the door of destiny (and)
Raise the offspring of grief,
The age of chaos is coming to maturity;
It seems as though no one alone has cause for pride.
4// Hitomi ni Utsuru Nono -- L'Arc~en~Ciel
5// Song of Mana -- Legend of Mana
6// Ancient Dragon's Fort -- Yasunori Mitsuda
[[I'm shamelessly stealing music from other Squaresoft games! I'm sorry, that's bad of me.]]
7// The Chase of Highway -- Nobuo Uematsu [FFVII: AC]
[[...and now, their movies too! WILL THE HUMILIATION NEVER END?]]
8// Aeris' Theme (Piano Version) -- Nobuo Uematsu [FFVII: AC]
[[... On a positive note, least I'm not using One Winged Angel for Tango.]]
9// Honeycomb Child -- Natalie Imbruglia
[[Oh, Vivi.]]
I painted your face
But I had to ask
Permission to go
But don't go too far.
And we like to watch
All the flickering stars
You don't like your face
But that's who you are.
10// True Light -- Miyamoto Shunichi
In the world where the wind blows like a blade
What is it I should protect?
In a journey where I know one painful thing after another
I get closer to the true me
The fake light is disappearing
The true light is born
In these hands...
11// Savior-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
A butterfly that flaps its wings
Affecting almost everything
The more I hear the orchestra
The more I have something to bring
And now I see you in a beautiful
And different light.
He exists only to die and something within him grasps her, wants to pull her apart, wants to feel her all over and cram her in his mouth. He didn't know if that was love, still doesn't. He doesn't know if he ever knew what love was. All he knows is that he is full of her, Eiko-tasting bile, both of them One Being; the Final Mysteries of virginity and sex and the blackmage-whitemage symbiote, both of them Tango, both of them dancing the last dance. He exists only to die, but, but, maybe he can still save c--
[[Download 'Rain' -- 11 Tracks -- 47.6 MB]]
Bonus Tracks:
Tango: Only Ashes --Something Corporate, The Loser -- Switchfoot
Eiko: Prinsessa Jaa (Princess Ice) -- Maija Vilkkumaa, Summer Rain -- Slinkee Minx
Rain: Duvet (Serial Experiments Lain Theme) - BoA, Techno Opera -- The Fifth Element
I wanted to put in Bon Jovi's 'Living on a Prayer' but thought that was in bad taste. 8D;
Links expire in 7 days, or, 25 downloads.
If you want a specific song put up individually, please just drop a comment, and I'll put it up. I'm also trying to put up a ZIP of all three 'CDs' (sans bonus tracks, it's 133 MB) but that will take a while. I'll keep you posted.
If any of the files go down, could the people who've dl'ed the zips already just, er, put it up on YSI or Megaupload or something? 8D; I'm on a school connection, and it's been hell enough trying to get this much of it up. Also, fair warning! Some of the files are in m4a format, but it shouldn't be a problem if you've got a recent version of iTunes, WinAmp, or whatever song player of your choice you might have. Please to enjoi, and TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF IT. :D Favorite songs? Questions about my sanity? Everything is entertained here.
Crossposted: fst.
Edit: Epicenter: A Go Not Gently FST, sans commentary, can also now be found at The Quiet World dot com. As the YSI's links expire (which they inevitably will), you can snag the tracks from there.
I've always thought an adequate adjective would AWESOME. Go Not Gently is AWESOME. If you're not a fan of Eiko, or a fan of FF9, or even a fan of the Final Fantasy series in general, then this will make a fan out of you. FAIR WARNING: This story is not for children, pets, or people with congenital heart diseases. THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOU CRY LIKE A LITTLE GIRL AND CUT INTO YOUR SOUL FOREVER. Or if it doesn't, at least it will make you a fan of spiderflower, a.k.a. Guardian, the lovely lady behind this fourteen-chapter massacre of the heart epic. I've always been an Eiko fan, but even I can't stand to read how she's written in a majority of Final Fantasy 9 fics. Heck, I can't even stand how she's been written in the actual game! (And I still liked her. Don't that beat all.)
The best thing this fic does for the entire game, really, is that it takes the world of FF9 -- which I loved -- and brings out a lot of the darkness that was actually in the game, making you look at it all from a different perspective. People tend to be disinclined to take FF9 seriously because everyone is either an anthromorphized rat, a cartoonishly deformed tyrant, or a metal thong-wearing prettyboy. Final Fantasy's sprite-based games got better respect than FF9. But think about it. Final Fantasy 9 is a story about human greed, and searching to find just who you really are, and how, sometimes, all people want is a chance to live. I mean, really. It's amusing to see little super-deformed figures killing each other on the screen, but you can't forget that to all intents and purposes, FF9 was basically about war and death and rebirth.
...Which is also what Go Not Gently, in a broad sense, is about! I'm not actually talking about the fic, you know, so I apologize. But really, I loved FF9, so I suppose you'll have to forgive me for fangasming on and on and on about it.
In a nutshell, this fic will make you cry, it will make you laugh, it will make you die, only to revive you so that you can read it. Again. So go and read it already at FF.net or on the Go Not Gently website (I have a piece of old art on there, which I sent in while the story was still in progress! I'm 'Mana Angel'. 8D).
'Epicenter' incorporates song quotes, fic quotes (which should speak for the fic itself, really, so I shouldn't need to summarize it), and... three 'CDs', if you will, arbitrarily dubbed 'Eiko', 'Tango', and 'Rain', but mostly having very little to do with the character they're named for. Basically, Eiko is where I stuffed all female vocals into, Tango is where all the angry teenage punk songs went to (you have NO idea how hard it was not to go overboard on those), and Rain is where the atmospheric and background songs went into. The biggest problem was not doubling artists up; everything by Garbage seemed to fit Eiko, everything Blink 182 screamed Tango at me and then jumped up and down on my spine until I listened to it. As it is, I managed to avoid Blink-182, though 'Down' still screams at me from the little corner I punted it into. Aheh?
Factlet: This was composed during NaNoWriMo, so forgive it for being a little disjointed. The funny thing is, for all the J-Pop/J-Rock tracks? I swear, god's own truth: I didn't know what the lyrics meant until I looked them up, and I chose them purely based on sound. And then I found out they actually kind of fit, which was, er, a 'o noes, it's fate' moment. Serendipity, anyone?
Factlet 2: Counting bonus tracks, this FST has a total of ... eight languages, I think. Latin, English, Japanese, Filipino, Finnish, Spanish, Swedish, and whatever-it-is Sweet Lullaby is in. All the lyrics (that I could get) were translated into English.
Factlet 3: DON'T TRY TO FIND MEANING IN THIS FST, BECAUSE I TRIED AND THERE IS NONE, I TELL YOU, THERE IS NONE. The quotes are chosen because they made me laugh or they made me cry; if they happen to match up to a song, well, that's a happy coincidence, but er, in all honesty? I chose and matched them up randomly. I WIN.
Factlet 4: I tried to make this make sense, but I failed even at that. I'm so, so sorry.
Factlet 5: I giggled while making this FST. This should tell you much about my state of mind after NaNo.
Factlet 6: The word innocence and references to such crop up too much in the song lyrics, too much so for a three-syllable word! O well.
Also, another Go Not Gently FST can be found right here, by easilybored, and it's worth checking out, because I'm pretty sure it's more thought-out than mine was! This fic is hot enough to have not one, but two FSTs, oh yes indeed. Mine, er, makes a lot less sense, mostly (and also, ahaha. If we chose any quotes the same, it's because I am psychic and have always been great minds think alike, so there!)
Eiko:
Nagmamadali -- Bridge
Angels Fall First -- Nightwish
Minna Ga Iine -- Aki Maeda
Bleed Like Me -- Garbage
Sweet Lullaby -- Deep forest
Calypso -- Spiderbait
Cruel to be Kind -- Letters to Cleo
The air from TIFANA - Gensoumaden Saiyuki
Someone -- Sun Yan Zi
Kimi ga Ita Monogatari -- See-Saw
Up to the Roof -- Blue Man group
[[Download 'Eiko' -- 11 Tracks -- 43.6 MB]]
Tango:
Syunikiss -- Malice Mizer
Shut Me Up -- Mindless Self Indulgence
October -- U2
Innocence Again -- Switchfoot
3 Libras -- A Perfect Circle
Mies Del Dolor -- Blind Guardian
Garden of Eden -- Bridge
Your Winter -- Sister Hazel
Courage -- Alien ant Farm
Even Less -- Porcupine Tree
Above -- Blue Man Group
[[Download 'Tango' -- 11 Tracks -- 42.5 MB]]
Rain:
Lilium -- Kondo Yukio
The Cape of Storms -- Hyde
Epitaph -- Weiss Kreuz
Hitomi ni Utsuru Nono -- L'Arc~en~cCiel
Theme of Mana -- Legned of Mana
Ancient Dragon's Fort -- Yasunori Mitsuda
The Chase of Highway -- Nobuo Uematsu
Aeris' Theme (Piano) -- Nobuo Uematsu
Honeycomb Child -- Natalie Imbruglia
True Light -- Miyamoto Shuichi
Savior -- Red Hot Chili Peppers
[[Download 'Rain' -- 11 Tracks -- 47.6 MB]]
Fair Warning: Sort-Of-Spoilers Below.
Left to Right: Eiko, Tango, Rain. If any of you who've read the fic can actually tell why Tango's hair has red streaks, then I pulled that off better than I thought I did. Text-less version can be found on DA; before you ask, yes, I know Tango's outfit is not canon and makes him look like a vampire. XD It was referenceless, hush. I messed up tracks 4 and 5 too, on Eiko's tracklist, but there's no correcting it now. :<
... Female vocals, generally, with some pretty instrumental things. I uh. Honestly don't know what I'm doing, here.
1 // Nagmamadali (Hurrying) -- Bridge
[[Unofficially stuck in my head as Eiko's Theme; it's a duet in Filipino.]
Our story's not over yet,
It's just been turned upside-down.
Our desires got ahead of us.
Let's start from the start.
This is a story about Vivi, and Vivi’s legacy, and Vivi’s children, and me, to a tiny extent.
2// Angels Fall First -- Nightwish
Needed elsewhere
To remind us of the shortness of our time
Tears laid for them
Tears of love tears of fear
Bury my dreams dig up my sorrows
Oh Lord why
The angels fall first?
No matter how little I wanted Vivi to suffer, that never stopped the angry floods of tears into my pillow, the fiery volcanic tantrum that left all of my precious moogles too frightened to come into my room to try and quell my sobs, or any of the maids when in final violent destruction my headbutting the wall tore a hole in it. Although we had been estranged for far too many years, I still couldn’t take this perceived betrayal of my childhood companion.
Ashes to ashes…
A world without Black Mages. No more little bobbing hats, no more lamplight eyes, Vivi gone for ever. I still remember my tears salty on Zidane’s shoulder, and his wet on my hair.
Dust to - mist to mist, Vivi, would that be more suitable?
3// Minna Ga Iine (All So Wonderful) -- Aki Maeda
The wind puffs up my shirt;
it's just like in a dream
There's so much I want to talk about...
We'll meet again tomorrow, right?
Will such a day like today come to an end someday?
Though I wish these days would continue on forever.
“Only grown-ups have kids.”
“They get them a different way, though.” Superior and supercilious. “It involves kissing. You were kind of more like a cicada. So what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“… a fireman?”
“VIVI!”
“I’d be a good fireman.”
“You don’t want to be a fireman!”
“Well, they’re awfully neat.”
Admittedly true. “You don’t want to be one, though.”
“I want to be… happy. Like Zidane and Garnet.”
Cherry pie devoured thoughtfully. “Happy’s easy.”
Surprisingly, “No, it’s not.”
4// Sweet Lullaby -- Deep Forest
Young brother, young brother you be quiet
Although you are crying to me
Your father has left us
He has gone to the place of the dead
Protect the head of the living, Protect the orphan child
They say you shouldn't touch another mage's wand or racquet or staff; it's polluting to the magic and the vibes. In reality, if everyone knew the purifying practises, you wouldn't want to touch them anyway - those things are spat on, sneezed on, bled on, wept on, and much worse. All the icky sanctifying magic cooties a wand could hope for go into a good one. Forget Ice Rods and Fire Rods - we're talking about universal Magic Rods Of Flu.
5// Bleed Like Me -- Garbage
Just try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend
You should see my scars
"I'm okay." I delicately stopped licking the spoon and set it down in my bowl. "... I miss my home, though, Rain. Tango... I never can tell if he's going to kill me or not."
"He does, admittedly, have issues - "
I snorted at the winner of the Understatement Of The Year.
6// Calypso -- Spiderbait
Sunshine
On my window
Makes me happy
Like I should be
Outside
All around me
Really sleazy
Then it hits me
Don't tell me
You can't see
What it means to me.
Not even Mama had ever drawn herself up with such ice and dignity. "I still haven't forgiven you, and I don't think I ever will. So don't kiss me again, Black Tango, or I'll have your bloody kneecaps."
7// Cruel to be Kind-- Letters to Cleo
[[Why are there so many '10 Things I Hate About You' tracks on this FST? Because it's appropriate. >o>]]
I pick myself up off the ground
And have you knock me back down
Again and again
And when I ask you to explain
You say you gotta be
Cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you
Baby, you gotta be cruel to be kind
"It's no use holding the Master to ransom." He held the spoon up again, his voice soft and warm like ashes as usual. "He'll just... do things, Eiko, to make you eat."
"He couldn't do anything to make me do anything."
"He can hurt us in front of you." He bumped the tip of the spoon on my lips. "He can kill us in front of you. All of us. Just to make you eat."
Completely stunned, I stared at him. Tango wouldn't. He couldn't. But that was exactly the way he would think, wasn't it? Hurt others until I agreed to do his bidding. Like with Rain and the spanner. Like with everything.
8// the air from TIFANA -- Gensoumaden Saiyuki
"Work a bit," I said cagily, standing up. I'd found some ruched trousers in Kuja's closet - thank the Gods, though they seemed more thermal underthings than proper leg-covers - and I pulled them on, not bothering to change my shirt. In a house full of little boy-children Mages and the man who has not washed since puberty, my hygiene was getting more than mildly slovenly at times. Not that I had exactly been clean back in the days of being an engineer (so long ago: months are years now), but I tended to always wash and wear clean clothes. I wiped my mouth on a sleeve. "Is there anywhere I can work, Rain? A nice, big, empty room?"
<9// Someone -- Sun Yan Zi
Why does the world deceive?
Why do I make believe?
Took my heel and made Achilles out of me…
Still I would want to be
Someone who’d answer to me:
Someone who sees like a child, gives like a saint,
Feels like an angel - never mind the broken wings,
And speaks like a picture, cries like the rain, shines like a star,
As long as the fire remains.
The light was blasting through the stained-glass windows as I ran, colouring my skin ruby and topaz and emerald as I darted past. The halter top I'd stolen from the wardrobe tried to slip off my skin, too big, not meant for the cut of my body; I was far less powerfully built than the delicate-strong Kuja. I held it to myself, moving, past the gloomy corridors, past the windows where I could hear the whistle of the wind and the antlions calling, and into the end of the west wing.
When I reached the end, the simple little door in the darkness wasn't locked. I pushed it open, silently and easily.
Inside was a garden.
10// Kimi Ga Ita Monogatari (The Story Where You Were) -- See Saw
[[Eiko's Battle Music, Sort Of. I call it, in my head, 'The Music Eiko Runs To'. 8D]]
Please believe that as we are, the two of us,
Can go to the other side of the frozen sky
Because, closer than anyone, anywhere in the distance,
The dream where you are is already an inerasable memory.
"You're a fool, Eiko," he said quietly, the laughter stopping as suddenly as it had begun. "You're a fool and sometimes I hate you for playing out this pretense that you can do this."
Wand wedged at my hips, shedding white over everything as I pulled my glasses off the desk I had injured myself on. "How long does he have?"
11// Up to the Roof -- Blue Man Group feat. Tracy Bonham and Rob Swift
What I want you have not got.
Tried to use things you sold me, no matter what the cost
Tried to go the way you told me, but each time, I got lost
The stairs didn't lead me anywhere!
I'm taking the fire escape up to the roof.
Don't care if it's not the way you find the truth.
Time to make this right: to rise above.
Death was close now. Some organ within me called to him, owned him, was unsteady master of the untamed entity, the foolish caller ready to be summoned whole. Every so often I would curl and spasm in Tango's grip, bones and jellied flesh as some kind of fit of electricity ran through me, spiritual epilepsy as Necron silently howled both derision and victory. It was my memory that summoned him, and it was pulling me apart; I was already in pieces. Beneath my spine I could dimly feel the love-abandoned hands of my Eidolons as - like pallbearers - they carried me forward, they carried me to Death, they carried me and he carried me, it will live with me until I die.
[[Download 'Eiko' -- 11 Tracks -- 43.6 MB]]
... I'm sorry for reducing you to this pot of teenage angst, Tango, I'm so, so sorry. ...Actually, I'm not.
1// Syunikiss -- Malice Mizer
[[The lyrics are out-of-place until later on (or well, EVER on), but this is perfect intro music.]]
You gaze at the sky with lifeless eyes,
As if you know the place to which you must return.
Ah... to the lord dwelling in the sky that granted my prayers,
I make one more wish... "Return to her her heart."
Ah... to the lord dwelling in the sky that granted my prayers,
Grant my last wish... "Let her rest in peace."
With cold fingers I trace the tearstains on your cheek,
In a trembling voice, "Return to the sky" I repeat.
The figure - I called it he out of the simple subconscious need to place anything destructive with a masculine gender - stopped so quickly I shot past him, having to flip around so hard I saw red spots in front of my eyes and my palms were slick with sweat. The smoke from the fires was going to reach me soon, and I was going to choke; I didn’t care. All I could do was stare at him; those malevolent golden eyes, curved into crescents and utterly emotionless behind the smoke-dark mask. He turned to survey the city, overturned utterly into chaos, and then back at me, as if to say; Well? Did you like my handiwork?
2// Shut Me Up -- Mindless Self Indulgence
"Quite a feisty one, aren’t you, Princess?" A touch of - something - moved into his tone. "Coming along was your own stupid fault, little girl, because you are boneheaded and stupid and like all other humans on this earth and you see the situation like a glass sphere - you can’t see into it properly, just your distorted reflection."
Not a rant. I didn’t need his lunatic mutterings. So much for thinking him lucid for a moment. "Look. Go tell your excuses to the old stove in the corner, I couldn’t care less about your reasons. Who are you?"
A rustling. The candle was retrieved, but not lit; the touch in his voice grew, and the tone was of bitter irony. "Tango."
3// October -- U2
October
When the trees are stripped bare
of all they wear
What do I care?
October
When kingdoms rise
and kingdoms fall
But you go on.
For a man who would hit me across the room without a moment's notice, he was docile to my touch. I pulled him off the counter, hands firm on his wrists; with the mages watching us, utterly shocked, I dragged him over to the other side of the kitchen and the water-pump. "How long has it been since you washed your hair? All right, I bet you don't - how long has it been since it last rained on you? Oh, Gods, we're in a desert, I bet never - "
4// Innocence Again -- Switchfoot
Who are you gonna be?
When you're on your knees, who do you believe?
Fear is lonely man
You've been given innocence
You've given innocence again<
"Life gets old quickly, Eiko."
Petulant, petulant, and it was the first time he had used my name alone; salt and lemon juice, vindictive like spit. My head hurt again. I was only equipped for dealing with nice, calm, impersonal villains who probably wanted my money or were at least insane in a way I could understand and had a mustache they could twirl. Tango had no mustache, and whatever he was twirling, it was making me dizzy.
5// 3 Libras -- A Perfect Circle
Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection down among a million same
Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed and passed over
When I’ve looked right through to see you naked but oblivious
And you don’t see me
"Get away from me, Tango."
"You don't know. You never-knew. You had no idea. You have no idea. You sit in your little palaces and every year you go and put flowers but it doesn't matter, my people a dream and a theory in textbooks, and where was I, where was I, he said he'd always be there for me - "
"Get away from me."
His words ended in a long, shuddery cry. When he spoke again, his words were dry, the tone measured, unexpected sanity.
"I never meant to take you with me, Eiko Carol. The hell you entered is one of your own devising."
My voice was a broken rasp. "I wish you'd killed me. I wish you'd kill everyone."
"You'd give up the world," - and I already had - "just for the memory of one little boy?"
6// Mies Del Dolor (Harvest of Sorrow) -- Blind Guardian
At the dawn of our living time
Hope may cover all cries
Truth lurks hidden in the shadows
Dreams might be filled with lies
Soon there will be night
Pain remains inside
"Such sweet saccharine nonsense, linden-bloom. What we did together, was it so courageous? Zidane walked among us as an angel of death, down in the dark places, his heart a crippled worm of blackness worse than Kuja's. Worse than Garland. He danced the dance of death and everything he touched turned to dust, linden-bloom. We walked in Alexandria and it exploded. We walked in Lindblum and it exploded. We walked in Burmecia and it exploded. We walked in Cleyra and it exploded. We walked in Terra, the dead planet, and it died. Do you truly know the things Zidane did, down, down, in the dark, with his hands and feet and mouth?"
7 // Garden of Eden -- Bridge
[[Yeah, this is what I meant by doubling up artists. Oh lord, I'm so weak.]]
You shake your head
And mumble
A litany of regrets
About your golden childhood,
When you could do no wrong
Oh how the world
Stole your innocence.
I'd read the fairytales. The young man who disappears grows up to be the strong, wild, handsome prince; he is noble, and saves, and he's got rippling muscles and long black coalsilk hair which goes through your fingers like water when you comb them through it. He does not become a dirty, blood-soaked, filth-matted, wild-eyed abusive madman who alternately cries and sings in cracked off-key up in the rafters, some half-caught song about memories. If he does, he does not forget the lyrics and put in words halfway.
8// Your Winter -- Sister Hazel
You read my eyes just like your diary,
oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself,
And I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
Tango was a whimpering wreck a few metres away from me, tangled in himself, feathers on the floor and his hands working over himself as they desperately tried to brush off something long gone. I rose up, my feet dragging over the floor, and kicked him viciously in the side. The last rags of my shirt fell to the floor, my clothes a matching wreck for my body.
He just curled up harder. I kicked him again.
"How's it feel to be the one on the floor?"
"Don't," he croaked.
I kicked him again, harder, though I was swaying on my feet and ready to fall. "Why should I show mercy to you?"
9// Courage -- Alien ant Farm
Contrary to the matter
Who you are, you are not
Come with me, I'll show you Saturn
Planets don't quite align
You should try not to be so courageous
I never said you were a mistake at all
You got it all wrong, you're misunderstanding
"I love you," I said, and he kissed me; he kissed me like a nine-year-old boy, he kissed me on my lips, he kissed me like Black Tango and it burned like holy fire on my mouth and teeth and tongue until my spit tasted like the windblown remnants of ashes. He kissed me goodbye.
10// Even Less -- Porcupine Tree
A body is washed up on a Norfolk beach
He was a friend that I could not reach
He thought I was cold but I understand
But for the grace of god goes another man
And I may just waste away from doing nothing
But I'm a martyr to even less
They took me back to Lindblum. I got a new pair of glasses. I was Eiko Fabool once more, with a new baby, and a husband, and Garnet had warned against the whole damn thing but I threw myself back into engineering and cut my hair until it was short again and some of the scars faded. Alun and I had seperate rooms - poor man, he had the most things thrown at him, I think - and I would sit in mine without even Vita, who had her own nanny, and I would look outside my window at the ballet of airships and my rebuilding city and want the dusty dryness of the Desert Palace. I wanted motheaten tapestries. I wanted the screams of antlions. I wanted Black Mages. It was all gone for ever.
11// Above -- Blue Man Group
"Vita," I whispered, "what have you brought us here for? You have ten seconds to tell me everything, and I don't want any of your lip, so make it good, you understand me?"
"Fulfilling a promise," she sighed, annoyed. "I should have done it years ago, but I didn't know how. Then I worked out if my body could do it, and it can; I haven't tried, but it can, I know it, I won't make a mistake."
"I don't know who you got your babbling from. Oh, wait. Yes, I do."
The trees were laden with their precious parcels, still strong and beautiful, flowers all around the feet as the roots drank greedily at the soil. Little Iifa trees. The air was thick with something like the promise of Mist; and there were lights, blue lights, and all Vita did was raise her hands. Her fingers were like conductor's batons; she waved them, as if bringing the first chord to earth, and there was song:
The souls of the Black Mages cracked.
[[Download 'Tango' -- 11 Tracks -- 42.5 MB]]
...this is mostly just setting/theme music. And okay, so I copped out and became lazy and didn't look up ALL the lyrics of this section; also, most of the instrumental tracks? I ran out of appropriate quotes. This IS just atmosphere, you know, sheesh...
1// Lilium -- Kondo Yukio
Blessed, the man who endures temptation,
For Once tried
He shall recieve the Crown of Life.
Oh Lord, Oh Holy Fire, have mercy.
Oh how sacred.
How serene.
How benevolent.
How lovely.
Oh Lily of Purity.
"This is what Black Mages are made out of, linden-bloom," he suddenly said. "Cloth and dust and souls." Leather finger ran down the front of the sphere, pretty as a jewel. "I never was able to make a flesh shell for them, precious. When you try that, you get the one-two-three, the Waltz, hideous and heinous and I pulp them in my fingers when they're born. No, Carol, these are my children's materials." He rocked it with his hand, and started to laugh. "The fruit of my loins."
2// The Cape of Storms [Piano Version] -- Hyde
My eyes adjusted to the area around me and for some reason it felt familiar. I was in a high-ceilinged room, the rafters dark and looming and the air thick with age. Thick, but dry; I’d tasted that dryness before. It was cool to the point of an uncomfortable, sunless chill - little moisture in the air, my mind thought clinically - possibly somewhere up in the snow, though wouldn’t the air temperature be colder still, somewhere above sea level -
Sod the climate, where the hell was I?
3// Epitaph -- Weiss Kreuz
Even if I protect the door of destiny (and)
Raise the offspring of grief,
The age of chaos is coming to maturity;
It seems as though no one alone has cause for pride.
4// Hitomi ni Utsuru Nono -- L'Arc~en~Ciel
5// Song of Mana -- Legend of Mana
6// Ancient Dragon's Fort -- Yasunori Mitsuda
[[I'm shamelessly stealing music from other Squaresoft games! I'm sorry, that's bad of me.]]
7// The Chase of Highway -- Nobuo Uematsu [FFVII: AC]
[[...and now, their movies too! WILL THE HUMILIATION NEVER END?]]
8// Aeris' Theme (Piano Version) -- Nobuo Uematsu [FFVII: AC]
[[... On a positive note, least I'm not using One Winged Angel for Tango.]]
9// Honeycomb Child -- Natalie Imbruglia
[[Oh, Vivi.]]
I painted your face
But I had to ask
Permission to go
But don't go too far.
And we like to watch
All the flickering stars
You don't like your face
But that's who you are.
10// True Light -- Miyamoto Shunichi
In the world where the wind blows like a blade
What is it I should protect?
In a journey where I know one painful thing after another
I get closer to the true me
The fake light is disappearing
The true light is born
In these hands...
11// Savior-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
A butterfly that flaps its wings
Affecting almost everything
The more I hear the orchestra
The more I have something to bring
And now I see you in a beautiful
And different light.
He exists only to die and something within him grasps her, wants to pull her apart, wants to feel her all over and cram her in his mouth. He didn't know if that was love, still doesn't. He doesn't know if he ever knew what love was. All he knows is that he is full of her, Eiko-tasting bile, both of them One Being; the Final Mysteries of virginity and sex and the blackmage-whitemage symbiote, both of them Tango, both of them dancing the last dance. He exists only to die, but, but, maybe he can still save c--
[[Download 'Rain' -- 11 Tracks -- 47.6 MB]]
Bonus Tracks:
Tango: Only Ashes --Something Corporate, The Loser -- Switchfoot
Eiko: Prinsessa Jaa (Princess Ice) -- Maija Vilkkumaa, Summer Rain -- Slinkee Minx
Rain: Duvet (Serial Experiments Lain Theme) - BoA, Techno Opera -- The Fifth Element
I wanted to put in Bon Jovi's 'Living on a Prayer' but thought that was in bad taste. 8D;
Links expire in 7 days, or, 25 downloads.
If you want a specific song put up individually, please just drop a comment, and I'll put it up. I'm also trying to put up a ZIP of all three 'CDs' (sans bonus tracks, it's 133 MB) but that will take a while. I'll keep you posted.
If any of the files go down, could the people who've dl'ed the zips already just, er, put it up on YSI or Megaupload or something? 8D; I'm on a school connection, and it's been hell enough trying to get this much of it up. Also, fair warning! Some of the files are in m4a format, but it shouldn't be a problem if you've got a recent version of iTunes, WinAmp, or whatever song player of your choice you might have. Please to enjoi, and TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF IT. :D Favorite songs? Questions about my sanity? Everything is entertained here.
Crossposted: fst.
Edit: Epicenter: A Go Not Gently FST, sans commentary, can also now be found at The Quiet World dot com. As the YSI's links expire (which they inevitably will), you can snag the tracks from there.