The Sherlock math teacher, me as Watson, and the EXTREME Johnlockers. It was…mindblowing.
It was (C).
If you read my previous post about the Johnlockers at my college then that should make sense to you. If not, READ MY BLOG. *ahem* Not that you have to or anything. Things will just make more sense if you do.
So I was right. The girls staked out in the lounge (apparently they were there for three hours waiting for me. Three hours. Dear Lord, they were determined) and were quite ready to ambush me once I got out of class. Luckily for me though, I was prepared…sort of.
My teacher agreed to a scheme. Actually, she came up to me and said,
“Those girls from Monday are waiting for you in the lounge. Come on, let’s go have some fun, my dear Watson!”
I’m like *This could be interesting*
So I follow as she heads towards the lounge. She stops me before we go in and says, “Wait here for thirty-five seconds, then come in.” And then she plunges ahead, leaving me confused and standing awkwardly at the door. I wait for said thirty-five seconds and then head in.
My teacher is standing in front of the vending machine, staring intently at the drink choices, and the girls are all gathered in front of a computer. They swivel their chairs my direction and gave me what I could only call haughty looks.
“So there’s the non-believer. We’ve been waiting for you.”
Really?
“We have a few things here that we think might change your mind about Johnlock. Here, watch this.”
And they brought up a fanvid and tumblr.
Tumblr.
I just started laughing so hard.
And I preceded to tell them this,
“Let me stop you here if this is the best you’ve got. I’m on tumblr every day. Every. Single. Day. I practically swim through Johnlock material. 99.9% of the people I follow Johnlock. I have to filter through their posts with brother goggles. What’s brother goggles? They’re like your slash goggles but less disturbing. I have a Livejournal too, and pretty much all the newsletters and things on there are slash as well. And I don’t like fanvids. Well, I do but they have to be very well made. And I’m sure as heck not going to watch that fanvid if it’s Johnlock, which I’m guessing it is. If I go through that every day, what makes you think you can change my mind? Sooooo, now the question is, is this the best you’ve got?”
LOL, I made them RAGE. They were actually red in the face speechless for a moment before they exploded.
I’d rather not say what they said because it would entail a great deal of editing. I don’t use foul language, and if I do it’s for a pretty good darn reason. Pretty much the gist of it was them calling me a gay hater and that there was something wrong with me if I didn’t swing with the majority of the Sherlock fandom.
Now my teacher had come to stand just a little ways off and was watching us. She then decided to make her presence known.
“Watson?” She said casually as she unscrewed her coke bottle.
“Yes Mam?”
“I’ll handle it from here.” She actually pushed me aside a bit and started staring at one of the girls. And not just staring. As I was watching her I had the creepy feeling that she was seeing her, like Sherlock does.
And then this happened.
“You there, Hannah, I believe? I saw you outside with a cigarette.You’ve started smoking recently I believe, since you had some trouble with the drags, but you don’t want your parents to know about it, which is why you have an extra set of clothes in your pack. You bite your nails constantly, probably due to the nervousness of skipping your classes, you’re thinking about it now aren’t you? Yes, you shifted your eyes a bit there. You had a granola bar and some coffee for breakfast this morning, you were in a rush though. Need to be more careful with that coffee; stains easily. You haven’t been sleeping well, could be from staying up and studying, more likely you know that your boyfriend is thinking about leaving you. Can’t blame him since your personality is as warm as a badger with a blanket.”
At first, I was kind of like, This can't be real. She has to be making this up.
But then...
Hannah: How-how did you know all that?!
Me:
Girls:
And then me on the inside:
I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE THE FEELINGS. THESE GIFS ARE NOT ENOUGH.
I mean, I knew my teacher was a Sherlockian, but she freakin Sherlocked that girl up and down and was RIGHT about everything!!!!!!!!!!
My teacher then took a sip of her coke, looked at the girls sternly, and then turned to me.
“I think that about does it, Watson. Case closed and these girls shouldn’t be bothering you anymore. Anything else? Right then.”
She turned on her heel and left with a, “Laterz.”
My math teacher…WHY THE HECK ARE YOU MATH TEACHER!?!?! MOVE TO LONDON AND WORK WITH THE YARD!!!!!!!! ASDJKALJDSKALDSKAJDKSAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
I left right after that. I needed to go somewhere private and curl into a ball and fangirl quietly to myself, just until I could get a handle on things.
I still don’t quite know how to take it.
I’m sure Hannah doesn’t quite know how to take it.
I almost felt sorry for her.
….Almost.