Comments | myxruina: .alert.

myxruina

.alert.

Apr 25, 2004 15:17

Monday at school, no one acted as though I was alive..it's like they all saw me as though I were dead. Only TWO people cared that I was still living--> Elora and Anthony.
That's it. No one else cared. No one else gave a damn.
And I got EXPELLED monday. im on 15 day suspension, then they arent taking me back and thinking about if they can get ( Read more... )

Comments 12

hum anonymous April 25 2004, 14:59:08 UTC

Judging on the fact you are are in "lock down" i have a feeling you will not read this.
But anyways, you really need to stop being so pessimistic. you think everyone and everything is against you when it's not.
i go on melo and i remember seeing something as to your guy not being allowed to talk to you, maybe that's why he hasn't contacted you.
I know people who know you, i've heard how you blame that chick for pretty much everything. Sarah her name is i think. But she hasn't done anything to you.
I jsut think you are jealous. You lost Rob because you drove him away, and straight to Sarah.
Rob did the smart thing in leaving. I think he didn't do it early enough though. Rob deserves someone better than you. I'm not meaning to make that sound bad, but he does.
You need to stop being so stupid though. There are always things to live for, whether you are too fucking stupid to see them or not.
You need help. Alot of it.
Bye

Re: hum myxruina April 26 2004, 14:00:18 UTC

all right, where to start with this one ( ... )

Re: hum myxruina April 26 2004, 14:11:48 UTC

--When I wrote that I was rushing and didnt get many feeling clarified and I was sloppy. And many of my actions have been sloppy.
<3 anyways

regurgitate_me April 25 2004, 20:16:47 UTC

I'm truely sorry for what's been happening with you lately. It seems as if no one cares about me..I go to school and I'm invisible despite my style that usually draws people's attention..if peope see me out of the corner of their eye they think they have black make-up in their eye or dust or something..no one notices..and I've stopped caring about it

I know what it feels like to want to die and to feel like you have nothing left to live for and while I'm sure our situations are different..I'm offering my codolences and I can empathize. I'm very sorry that you have to go through what you do. IM me sometime when you can get more internet time; AIM: Corset Victim

and you can also call me whenever too..I wouldn't mind giving out my number to you. It saddens me that you have to feel this way

take care..and please stay living
<3
- Joy

myxruina April 26 2004, 13:43:38 UTC

=hugs you=
You are just the sweetest ever, not to make the subject any less horrid feeling, but it was very kind, all the condolences you gave and the offerings of your number.
Sadly long distance isnt something I can afford, though I did add you to my AIM so that I could speak to you, as you had offered. Mine is: myxruina
Just my lj name.
And thank you for the sympathizing and being able to understand what it is like. It is crushing when you find that no one seems to care, and it feels like you are better off dead, even though there could be reason behind it.
It's still that initial feeling you get where you sense your presence is not slightly desired that is so haunting, or that your presence might not even make any difference in the world.
<333 forever

regurgitate_me April 26 2004, 16:46:50 UTC

I understand that long distance is hard to afford, i just thought that I would make the offer.

I hope that you are doing better..I hate to see people go through such things..it's horrible to have to go through somethign like that and to have to feel like that
*hugs*

I hope things get better..I'll add you to my AIM list as well
<3

my god anonymous April 26 2004, 13:16:09 UTC

why are you blameing all these people? people might not talk to you because there scared you going to snap on them or try to kill them or something. i know for a fact that people have been nice to you and tryed to help you but you just pushed them out of your life. so dont go around complaning that no one sees your or whatever because you push them away so they dont try they dont want to push you over the eage and its your own fault for being expelled you didnt have to yell at everyone. you may NOT know this but ur the talk of everyone and personaly i dont think anyone should talk.you have been though alot i get that but u made people see you but in a bad way the way i know you wouldnt want to be seen ur surtenly a nice girl u need need to grow up and hopefully your getting help. well thats all but stop blameing everyone one else for your faults its not robs fault he broke up with you its not sarahs its not ur moms its not your friends its not anyone but you. u just need help help to see what your really doing and to stop doing it. ( ... )

Re: my god myxruina April 26 2004, 13:34:54 UTC

well i know its not everyone else's fault. I needed a place to vent and you were very mature to give me a peice of your mind when I dont know who you are or anything or how you know anything about me.
But I will still take into mind what you are saying sweety, even though I think its a little cliche to sign someone's livejournal with no tell-a-tale sign on who you are. I really wish you hadn't gone ahead and done that because it seems just a little immature, if you dont mind me stating. But then again we are all a little immature arent we?

One thing you must keep in mind is that I am struggling with myself and I know so many things are my fault, which is why I tried to kill myself in the first place, I just didnt expect a whole load of blame and harassment the moment I got back from hospitalization ( ... )

Re: my god myxruina April 26 2004, 13:38:37 UTC

---and I know its hard on them ( ... )

... anonymous April 26 2004, 13:57:49 UTC

with yer second last paragraph, he did not manipulate you. sure he hurt you, but you hurt him too because YOU manipulated him. not the other way around. it was your fault. not his. or sarah's ( ... )

Sophie anonymous April 26 2004, 14:18:12 UTC

Dear Sophie. i have but one thing to say and weather you beleive it or not. here i go. i am Sorry for everything that has happend to you in the past and now. but your going to have to let it go and move on i know alot of people are going to try but alot of people are still talkuing like its not going to hurt anyone. i havve been listing to poeple talk about you at school yea i might agree with some of it but most of it are lies or a strech of the truth and it really does sickin me to hear it. and i agree with that anonymous person that weather or not Rob wants to admit it he misses you we can all see it in is eyes when people talk to him about what happend. and no i didnt write it. i dont even have an account on here. you still have friends even if there not there for you right now,i guess everyones a little scared or worried or they jsut dont know what to say. but Sophie. i am glad u are getting better thats all any of us wanted. was for you to live and feel wanted loved free. but anyways like i said believe me or not this all comes ( ... )

Re: Sophie myxruina April 26 2004, 14:27:04 UTC

thank you Sarah. I really do appreciate all that you have said, and I do feel bad for giving you the cold shoulder that one night of my return ( ... )