How to Host a Play/Sex Party

[mzrowan]

I know that hosting TKOP is intimidating for some. You don't need a bunch of kinky furniture or a huge place -- I've been to great parties that consisted of a few air mattresses, one bedroom, and twenty fun people. In my view, it's not that different from hosting a regular party (but then, I've been doing this for a while

Comments

[comicbook_greek]

A scream test is very smart. I was at a party once and well, some very very awkward explanations had to be made. Thankfully I wasn't the host having to do the explaining :)

~Mike

[drwex]

You mention supplies of sheets and towels but do not mention safer sex rules or supplies. I think the host(s) should think about what they're comfortable with and make that clear to invitees. Having your own supplies so people can follow the rules is nice but not mandatory.

Trash bags, and a plan for changing them regularly.

Safe sharps disposal. BK and alcohol wipes. Hand and surface sanitizers.

First aid and safety supplies (of which safety scissors are the most obvious but not only).

[mzrowan]

I do actually mention safer sex supplies, right below the point about linens. ;-) But I realized after I posted this that I did leave out anything about rules, and I'm planning on adding that as soon as I have a moment this evening.

Excellent additions on trash bags, etc!

[drwex]

Can I say I hope you find the means/motive/opportunity to put these into practice soon?

[mzrowan]

Yes, us too.

[adrian_turtle]

I think it's a good idea to be especially clear about boundaries and expectations for this kind of party. I know it's a lot easier for me to relax and enjoy playing if I know people aren't going to intrude on my scene. Some people don't know if it's ok to reach over and join in what appears to be a free for all, especially if they haven't been to a playparty before. Or if they've played at parties where somebody who said she liked threesomes was ok with a stranger jumping in.

I've found it really helpful to put the ground rules in writing at the door, and I've heard of playparty hosts using the introductory circle to talk a little about consent as well as welcoming people. Or you could just put it in the invitations. Some parties are "absolutely no touching without asking," some are "everyone here is sexually available unless they tell you to stop," and different people will chose to come to one type or the other if they know what they're getting into.

[mzrowan]

Section on rules/expectations added!

[miss_chance]

A few months ago I went to an event in Baltimore, in a totally new context. It was fun to see what was similar and what was different. Mostly the group felt very much like my home group and I felt very comfortable socializing and playing there