Just because I *can* do the thing doesn't mean I *like* to do the thing

[mzrowan]

(Preface: this is not a sub-post aimed at anyone in particular, nor is it sparked by any recent incident. I've already talked about this with anyone who needed to hear about it personally from me

Comments

[dbang]

The problem with being good at a wide range of things is you're sure to dislike or even loathe some number of them...but still end up being dragooned into doing them!

In my case the thing is money management. In almost every group I've been a part of, I end up the bookkeeper, treasurer or some similar job, because everyone else gets a deer-in-the-headlights look whenever a number appears in their range of vision. And because I really want to see money stuff well taken care of, so I volunteer because I care. But do I LIKE it? Do I enjoy using QuickBooks and Excel and reconciling bank accounts? No, not especially...

[drwex]

There's not a good word for that thing I do, so I use "stage managering" as a shorthand. It's a combination of cat-herding, knowing how/where the right resources can be found, keeping people on track, on schedule, and at least vaguely following the agreed-upon process.

[blk]

Yeeeeeeeeess! Organizing people into social outings is one I deeply sympathize with. It feels like it comes up a lot when my closest friends tend to be introverted, slightly socially awkward types who get terribly stressed out by the idea of trying to organize a Thing. And managing my children's schedules tends to hit some of the same mental muscles for me, at least in terms of staying on top of homework, doctor visits, tutoring schedules, college applications, etc, so it's easy for me to get overwhelmed.

There have been times where J says something like "hey, want to invite some people over for dinner?" and I reply with "yes I would enjoy company but I absolutely cannot deal with managing other people right now, even just reaching out and seeing who is free for dinner." and he understand and sometimes he does it and sometimes we eat alone. Unfortunately, I pretty much can't opt out of parenting.

Adulting

[baronet]

Being the adult in the room. I like it when there is an adult in the room who keeps us from going wildly off track, worries that we're not being stupid, makes sure that we're ready for the other things we said we'd do, etc. I can be that adult, and I try not strain that person if it isn't me, but sometimes I really don't want to the only one doing that job.

Group trips

[taura_g]

We used to do a whitewater rafting and/or a camping trip every year for 4 years in a row. (2 summers in a row, we did both)

When I started asking for help in the planning, suddenly we couldn't get a quorum to take advantage of group pricing.

I tried once again, a few years after not doing anything...but no such luck.