H50 fic
Title: Passivity
Paring: Steve/Danny
Genre: Angst
Chapter Rating: R
Author's Note: Follows Grief and Denial
Summary: Danny's leaving Hawaii...again
Danny hobbles around at work with his cane for the next two days; Steve has to keep his brace on everywhere except in the shower for at least the next two weeks.
Their next case hits close to home with someone out murdering Navy SEALs. The weekend after they wrap it up is Danny’s weekend with Grace.
He makes a detour as he’s driving them home from work to pick her up from day camp on Friday, and at home Danny uses the lasagna recipe he called his mother for earlier in the week.
Steve had been out running since he couldn’t swim with his brace, and when he gets home Danny is setting the table.
“You’re just in time,” he says as he sets a third plate on the table before going to the livingroom to call Grace to come eat.
As Steve sits down and examines what’s on his plate. It’s heavy and has more cheese than can be healthy, but he has to admit it’s delicious.
He eats one bite after the other methodically. Telling himself that he isn’t thinking about the possibility it could be like this all the time. If Danny stayed, if he got custody...
“Grace, eat your lasagna,” Danny’s voice interrupts, “It’s Nonna’s recipe. Your favorite.”
Only then does Steve notice that Grace’s plate is virtually untouched.
“I’m not hungry,” she answers.
“Are you not feeling well?” he asks moving his hand to her forehead.
“Danno!” she abruptly pulls away, “Stop it! I’m not sick!”
He raises his eyebrows, “What is with you?”
“Nothing,” she grumbles.
“Then eat your dinner, and lose the attitude while you’re at it,” he instructs.
“I don’t want it!” she says defiantly.
Danny stares at her quietly for a second. Steve is surprised too. This is a definite change from Grace’s usually sweet demeanor.
“Fine, if you don’t want it don’t eat it,” Danny says, “But if you’re going to act like a five year old you can go to your room for a time-out like one.”
Grace’s fork clatters to her plate as she pushes away from the table and flees the kitchen.
Danny waits a moment before following his daughter’s example, except he retreats to the lanai. Steve sits alone for a moment. He shoves the last few bites of broccoli left on his plate into his mouth, and sets to work clearing the table as he chews them.
The remains of the lasagna on Grace and Danny’s plates go down the garbage disposal, and when Steve flips it off he hears Danny’s raised voice from the lanai.
“What I mean is why the hell didn’t you tell me she was like this? It’s obvious she’s depressed!...When did I become a psychologist?! For God’s sake, Rachel, you don’t need to be a doctor to see it…no I would definitely agree she isn’t coping well…What?...Are you kidding me?! That’s a joke right?”
Danny paces and practically growls into his phone, “I AM supporting you on this damn it! You have no idea what I’m doing to support you on this!...YES THAT IS WHAT YOU SAID!!!”
After his outburst Danny lowers the phone and paces back and forth once before raising it to his ear again.
“Look,” he says more calmly, “Have you thought about what I talked to you about last time?...Yes, that…Yes, I was serious!…No, I wouldn’t say we already decided…look, please, just give it some thought-“
Steve doesn’t hear the rest of what Danny is talking about because as he’s talking he steps off the lanai and walks down the beach until he’s out of an earshot.
When Steve turns his attention back to the dishes he’s startled to find that Grace is standing next to him. He isn’t sure if he should be disappointed in himself that he let her sneak up on him, he also isn’t sure if maybe he should send her back to her room. Mary’s room, actually, is the one she stays in on her weekends with her father, though Danny called it hers…
She saves him from having to decide by speaking, “I don’t want to move again, Uncle Steve.”
Steve reaches around and cups the back of her head gently. Her bottom lip quivers and she throws her arms around his waist sobbing into his shirt.
”Me neither, Baby,” he thinks, and, maybe, briefly he does let himself think about if Grace were their daughter…maybe just for a second.
****
The rest of the weekend is as much of a bust as Friday evening. Grace spends most of it watching tv silently
They drop her at day camp on Monday morning. Grace hugs Danny goodbye, though she is still noticeably subdued.
Danny gets back in the car and as he pulls away he says, “Listen, Steve, I’m going to drop you off at work but I need the morning.”
“For what?” Steve asks.
“I have to meet with Rachel about something.”
Steve wants to find out more, but Danny’s tone makes it clear he doesn’t want to share more, so he simply agrees without argument.
****
Steve rides out with Lori that day. Danny does not show up at work, so he has her drop him off at home that night. It’s late so Steve is surprised to find that Danny’s car isn’t in the driveway.
He isn’t inside either.
Steve prepares himself a meal, gets out his safe, and works on cleaning his guns at the table.
The front door clatters open noisily. Steve doesn’t think he dropped the pieces of the gun he was working on the moment he heard it, but he isn’t sure.
Danny tromps into the kitchen. He’s wearing sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt, both of which are soaked in sweat. He yanks open the fridge and takes out a beer.
“That was a long morning,” Steve comments.
He takes a swing of his beer and sighs, “Sorry, took longer than I thought.”
“What happened to you?” he asks.
“Went to the gym,” Danny answers tersely, “I’m going to take a shower. I reek.”
Danny takes what has to be the longest shower in history, and then remains behind the closed bathroom door for even longer. Steve is dozing off on the couch by the time he gets out.
“Hey,” he gets up checking his watch, “Man, it’s late.”
“Yeah,” Danny says sitting down and picking up the remote.
“You aren’t going to bed?” Steve asks, pleased that he remembered to say ‘going to bed’ instead of ‘coming to bed.’
“Nah, think I’ll see if I can catch a few old reruns.”
Steve is surprised by this. Danny is a night-owl, but he usually feels a sense of responsibility when they have to be at work the morning. This isn’t like him.
He goes off to bed, and Danny stays downstairs for the longest of time. Steve wakes up when he hears the door to the master bedroom creak closed behind him, and feels the bed shift as Danny gets in next to him. Steve glances at the digital letters on his alarm clock. 3 AM.
The next morning he wakes up with Danny’s mouth on him. Never before in his life has a blowjob been a bad omen, but he’s pretty sure it’s one now.
*****
“You ever done this before?” Danny asks one weekend while they’re lying in bed together after lazy mid-morning sex.
“Slept with a friend or slept with a guy?” he asks.
“Slept with a guy, smartass,” Danny answers, “I already know you’ve slept with a friend before, remember?”
“Sure,” Steve answers.
“How did that work?” he asks, “I mean I know how the military’s been about that until recently.”
“The repeal won’t be fully implemented until next month,” Steve informs him.
“My point exactly,” Danny says.
He thinks before answering, “I guess subtlety is what you’d call it. A lot, actually most of the time, things pretty much went unspoken. Don’t talk about it, not even with each other. Don’t even really think about it much.”
“So just deny everything? Always?”
“Pretty much,” he answers, “Actually, yeah, it has always been like that. Definitely since I started The Academy and even before…there was guy on my team in high school, we used to…well we never called it anything other than ‘helping each other out.’”
“I see,” Danny answers. Steve waits for him to go on, but he simply works his fingers through muscles on Steve’s thigh.
He sits up from where he’s resting against the footboard, “What no commentary?”
“Why? You were hoping for one?”
“I’m just confused since this’d be the first thing I’ve ever told you about myself you didn’t have an opinion on!”
Danny shrugs, “Well my history in that regard isn’t that much different. I actually had pretty much the exact same arrangement with one of my teammates in baseball.”
Steve smirks.
“Okay, I couldn’t officially be fired, but cops aren’t that much more opened minded than the Army-“
“Navy!” Steve corrects.
“It was just easy enough to forget certain things.”
“Like what?” Steve asks.
Danny sighs, “I don’t know lots of things! Like for a while I maybe did decide to rebel and unofficially was in a relationship with my roommate in college. Or like the time I jerked off most in high school might have coincided with seeing Mark Wahlberg’s Calvin Kline ad in my sister’s Cosmo, or maybe not, it’s not like there was any shortage of hot chicks around and when you’re 16 and horny all the time…”
That reasoning is all too familiar to Steve.
He thinks for a moment before busting into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Danny demands.
“You had thing for Marky-Mark?” Steve asks in between chuckles.
The only response he gets is Danny kicking him in the shin.
*****
Steve’s been out of his brace for 3 weeks and has fully recovered the strength in his arm when Danny tells him he’ll need some time off.
“When?” he asks as he maneuvers Danny’s car through afternoon traffic.
“In a few weeks,” Danny answers, “I um…I have an interview with the Greater Manchester PD.”
“So you’ll be out of town for a while?”
“Yeah, but not for some time yet,” he answers.
“Okay,” Steve answers.
The two and a half weeks in between when Danny brings it up and when his flight to England is scheduled for pass in the blink of an eye.
Paring: Steve/Danny
Genre: Angst
Chapter Rating: R
Author's Note: Follows Grief and Denial
Summary: Danny's leaving Hawaii...again
Danny hobbles around at work with his cane for the next two days; Steve has to keep his brace on everywhere except in the shower for at least the next two weeks.
Their next case hits close to home with someone out murdering Navy SEALs. The weekend after they wrap it up is Danny’s weekend with Grace.
He makes a detour as he’s driving them home from work to pick her up from day camp on Friday, and at home Danny uses the lasagna recipe he called his mother for earlier in the week.
Steve had been out running since he couldn’t swim with his brace, and when he gets home Danny is setting the table.
“You’re just in time,” he says as he sets a third plate on the table before going to the livingroom to call Grace to come eat.
As Steve sits down and examines what’s on his plate. It’s heavy and has more cheese than can be healthy, but he has to admit it’s delicious.
He eats one bite after the other methodically. Telling himself that he isn’t thinking about the possibility it could be like this all the time. If Danny stayed, if he got custody...
“Grace, eat your lasagna,” Danny’s voice interrupts, “It’s Nonna’s recipe. Your favorite.”
Only then does Steve notice that Grace’s plate is virtually untouched.
“I’m not hungry,” she answers.
“Are you not feeling well?” he asks moving his hand to her forehead.
“Danno!” she abruptly pulls away, “Stop it! I’m not sick!”
He raises his eyebrows, “What is with you?”
“Nothing,” she grumbles.
“Then eat your dinner, and lose the attitude while you’re at it,” he instructs.
“I don’t want it!” she says defiantly.
Danny stares at her quietly for a second. Steve is surprised too. This is a definite change from Grace’s usually sweet demeanor.
“Fine, if you don’t want it don’t eat it,” Danny says, “But if you’re going to act like a five year old you can go to your room for a time-out like one.”
Grace’s fork clatters to her plate as she pushes away from the table and flees the kitchen.
Danny waits a moment before following his daughter’s example, except he retreats to the lanai. Steve sits alone for a moment. He shoves the last few bites of broccoli left on his plate into his mouth, and sets to work clearing the table as he chews them.
The remains of the lasagna on Grace and Danny’s plates go down the garbage disposal, and when Steve flips it off he hears Danny’s raised voice from the lanai.
“What I mean is why the hell didn’t you tell me she was like this? It’s obvious she’s depressed!...When did I become a psychologist?! For God’s sake, Rachel, you don’t need to be a doctor to see it…no I would definitely agree she isn’t coping well…What?...Are you kidding me?! That’s a joke right?”
Danny paces and practically growls into his phone, “I AM supporting you on this damn it! You have no idea what I’m doing to support you on this!...YES THAT IS WHAT YOU SAID!!!”
After his outburst Danny lowers the phone and paces back and forth once before raising it to his ear again.
“Look,” he says more calmly, “Have you thought about what I talked to you about last time?...Yes, that…Yes, I was serious!…No, I wouldn’t say we already decided…look, please, just give it some thought-“
Steve doesn’t hear the rest of what Danny is talking about because as he’s talking he steps off the lanai and walks down the beach until he’s out of an earshot.
When Steve turns his attention back to the dishes he’s startled to find that Grace is standing next to him. He isn’t sure if he should be disappointed in himself that he let her sneak up on him, he also isn’t sure if maybe he should send her back to her room. Mary’s room, actually, is the one she stays in on her weekends with her father, though Danny called it hers…
She saves him from having to decide by speaking, “I don’t want to move again, Uncle Steve.”
Steve reaches around and cups the back of her head gently. Her bottom lip quivers and she throws her arms around his waist sobbing into his shirt.
”Me neither, Baby,” he thinks, and, maybe, briefly he does let himself think about if Grace were their daughter…maybe just for a second.
****
The rest of the weekend is as much of a bust as Friday evening. Grace spends most of it watching tv silently
They drop her at day camp on Monday morning. Grace hugs Danny goodbye, though she is still noticeably subdued.
Danny gets back in the car and as he pulls away he says, “Listen, Steve, I’m going to drop you off at work but I need the morning.”
“For what?” Steve asks.
“I have to meet with Rachel about something.”
Steve wants to find out more, but Danny’s tone makes it clear he doesn’t want to share more, so he simply agrees without argument.
****
Steve rides out with Lori that day. Danny does not show up at work, so he has her drop him off at home that night. It’s late so Steve is surprised to find that Danny’s car isn’t in the driveway.
He isn’t inside either.
Steve prepares himself a meal, gets out his safe, and works on cleaning his guns at the table.
The front door clatters open noisily. Steve doesn’t think he dropped the pieces of the gun he was working on the moment he heard it, but he isn’t sure.
Danny tromps into the kitchen. He’s wearing sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt, both of which are soaked in sweat. He yanks open the fridge and takes out a beer.
“That was a long morning,” Steve comments.
He takes a swing of his beer and sighs, “Sorry, took longer than I thought.”
“What happened to you?” he asks.
“Went to the gym,” Danny answers tersely, “I’m going to take a shower. I reek.”
Danny takes what has to be the longest shower in history, and then remains behind the closed bathroom door for even longer. Steve is dozing off on the couch by the time he gets out.
“Hey,” he gets up checking his watch, “Man, it’s late.”
“Yeah,” Danny says sitting down and picking up the remote.
“You aren’t going to bed?” Steve asks, pleased that he remembered to say ‘going to bed’ instead of ‘coming to bed.’
“Nah, think I’ll see if I can catch a few old reruns.”
Steve is surprised by this. Danny is a night-owl, but he usually feels a sense of responsibility when they have to be at work the morning. This isn’t like him.
He goes off to bed, and Danny stays downstairs for the longest of time. Steve wakes up when he hears the door to the master bedroom creak closed behind him, and feels the bed shift as Danny gets in next to him. Steve glances at the digital letters on his alarm clock. 3 AM.
The next morning he wakes up with Danny’s mouth on him. Never before in his life has a blowjob been a bad omen, but he’s pretty sure it’s one now.
*****
“You ever done this before?” Danny asks one weekend while they’re lying in bed together after lazy mid-morning sex.
“Slept with a friend or slept with a guy?” he asks.
“Slept with a guy, smartass,” Danny answers, “I already know you’ve slept with a friend before, remember?”
“Sure,” Steve answers.
“How did that work?” he asks, “I mean I know how the military’s been about that until recently.”
“The repeal won’t be fully implemented until next month,” Steve informs him.
“My point exactly,” Danny says.
He thinks before answering, “I guess subtlety is what you’d call it. A lot, actually most of the time, things pretty much went unspoken. Don’t talk about it, not even with each other. Don’t even really think about it much.”
“So just deny everything? Always?”
“Pretty much,” he answers, “Actually, yeah, it has always been like that. Definitely since I started The Academy and even before…there was guy on my team in high school, we used to…well we never called it anything other than ‘helping each other out.’”
“I see,” Danny answers. Steve waits for him to go on, but he simply works his fingers through muscles on Steve’s thigh.
He sits up from where he’s resting against the footboard, “What no commentary?”
“Why? You were hoping for one?”
“I’m just confused since this’d be the first thing I’ve ever told you about myself you didn’t have an opinion on!”
Danny shrugs, “Well my history in that regard isn’t that much different. I actually had pretty much the exact same arrangement with one of my teammates in baseball.”
Steve smirks.
“Okay, I couldn’t officially be fired, but cops aren’t that much more opened minded than the Army-“
“Navy!” Steve corrects.
“It was just easy enough to forget certain things.”
“Like what?” Steve asks.
Danny sighs, “I don’t know lots of things! Like for a while I maybe did decide to rebel and unofficially was in a relationship with my roommate in college. Or like the time I jerked off most in high school might have coincided with seeing Mark Wahlberg’s Calvin Kline ad in my sister’s Cosmo, or maybe not, it’s not like there was any shortage of hot chicks around and when you’re 16 and horny all the time…”
That reasoning is all too familiar to Steve.
He thinks for a moment before busting into laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Danny demands.
“You had thing for Marky-Mark?” Steve asks in between chuckles.
The only response he gets is Danny kicking him in the shin.
*****
Steve’s been out of his brace for 3 weeks and has fully recovered the strength in his arm when Danny tells him he’ll need some time off.
“When?” he asks as he maneuvers Danny’s car through afternoon traffic.
“In a few weeks,” Danny answers, “I um…I have an interview with the Greater Manchester PD.”
“So you’ll be out of town for a while?”
“Yeah, but not for some time yet,” he answers.
“Okay,” Steve answers.
The two and a half weeks in between when Danny brings it up and when his flight to England is scheduled for pass in the blink of an eye.