5-0 First Dates Part 4
Title: 5-0 First Dates
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Warnings: AU
Summary: Short term memory loss makes falling in love with a loud mouthed Jersey boy all the more complicated for a former Navy SEAL
At first Steve thought he was on his cot in the barracks, but it quickly became obvious that wasn't the case because there was a body, a very warm, very naked, very male body, pressed up against his.
He opened his eyes and found himself looking into the face of a sleeping man. He tried to think but found he couldn't remember where he was, though he had a gut feeling it wasn't Afghanistan. Nor did he remember how he got there.
Not moving from his spot he did a quick scan of his surroundings.
He was on a pullout bed in a rather Spartan looking room, and for a moment Steve worried that it might be base housing. Surely he wouldn't have been that stupid though?
Steve turned his attention next to the person next to him. He looked to be about Steve's age. From the look of his arms and the feel of his body, it was obvious he was in pretty good shape. Overall, he was very good looking, but Steve did not recognize him.
Shifting himself so that he was sitting up more, he placed a hand on the man's arm and nudged him awake.
The other man cracked his eyes open, looked up at Steve, and gave him a lazy half-smile.
“Mornin'” he murmured, voice rough with sleep. Shifting he reached up and placed his hand around Steve's waist to pull closer to him.
He stiffened under the touch, and the man's eyes opened again. He studied Steve intently for a moment before pushing himself up and asking carefully, “You don't remember do you?”
“No,” Steve answered, “Did I have too much to drink?”
“No you didn't,” he answered.
“Then what happened? Where the hell am I? Why don't I remember how I got here?”
“I don't know for certain, though I think I'm starting to understand,” he sighed sitting up and throwing the covers back. Steve snapped alert at the sudden movement.
“Hey,” the man slowed and spoke to him in an calm even voice that made it obvious he's had training, “It's okay. I'm just getting up. I'm not going to jump you or anything.”
Steve somewhat resented the implication. Between the surroundings, and the way his ass and thighs were aching, it was obvious he hooked up with this guy. What bothered him is that he didn't remember how.
The other man slowly got out of bed and moved over to a closet where he took out some clothes and began getting dressed.
“Listen, I can't give you all the details,” he said, “Though I'll take you to someone who, I think, can.”
“Who?” Steve demanded.
“Your dad.”
Steve found that idea ridiculous, “My dad? I haven't seen my dad in 20 years and he lives in Hawaii!”
Surprise flashed through the man's eyes, followed quickly by sadness, “You are in Hawaii.”
“What?” he leaped off the bed and stalked over to the window to yank the blinds open. The view neither confirmed nor denied in the claim, as was only of the other side of an apartment complex and a parking lot.
He turned to the man, “You'd better explain.”
“I told you, I can't!” he insisted, “I don't know the details. You'll just have to trust me on this! Get dressed. You left your truck at work, so I'll take you there and you can drive yourself home. You seem to know where to go, I've seen you do it before.”
“My truck?” Steve questioned.
The other man looked at him for a minute before answering, “Yeah, I'll take you to it.”
Steve hesitated, though he also felt like a part of him that wanted to do as the man requested. It was a strange feeling since he was a complete stranger.
He didn't seem like a threat, though, and what he'd requested was basically what Steve wanted, so he set to picking his clothes up off the floor and putting them on.
While he dressed the other man went into the bathroom. When he emerged his wild blond hair that was sticking up when he woke had been tamed into a sleeked back style.
He gathered up his stuff and showed Steve out the door.
“What's your name?” Steve asked, getting his bearings enough to think to gather more information.
Sadness and not a small amount of annoyance crossed the other man's features as he turned to lock the door and answered, “Danny.”
“Danny,” Steve repeated, trying out the name. It didn't bring up any specific memory.
He followed Danny down the steps, but both men stopped simultaneously when his father's Saab pulled into the parking space nearest the staircase and the man in question climbed out.
Steve could practically feel Danny tense next to him. He also noted that his right hand instinctively twitched toward his hip, but then fell away when he realized what he'd done. Gun hand. Steve filed the observation away for later, since the extremely awkward situation in front of him demanded attention.
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, “Dad.”
“Steve,” Jack said, “You've been gone for a while. I was just concerned.”
The three regarded each other silently for a moment before Danny broke the silence with barely reigned in aggravation, “I have to get to work. You two can follow if you want to pick up your truck.”
With that he brushed past the two and climbed into a silver Camaro.
Jack and Steve regarded each other for a minute before silently agreeing. Both men climbed into Jack's Saab. Danny was about a quarter mile away already, so until they caught up to him both were silent.
“What the hell's going on, Dad?” Steve finally asked once they were on the Camaro's bumper.
“What do you remember?” Jack asked.
“I remember...I don't even know what I remember,” Steve said, “I was in Afghanistan, I think.”
His father looked at him, “Do you remember Pearl a few weeks ago?”
“What?”
Jack sighed, “You were in Afghanistan. A little over a year ago. You were injured by an IED and have had short term memory loss ever since.”
“Short term memory loss?” Steve asked.
“For about a year you would lose your memories every night, and recently...I'm not sure.”
“What do you mean you aren't sure?”
“You said you were remembering.”
“I was remembering? So what I lost it? I quit remembering today?” Steve asked.
“Maybe,” Jack said cryptically.
“What do you mean 'maybe'?!” he demanded.
“You said you were remembering, but I was never sure of that.”
“What do you mean?”
“A few weeks ago you found out about your condition,” he backtracked at the confused look on Steve's face, “For a while...I didn't tell you about the accident, I just said you were in town on leave.”
“What?!”
“I know....we argued about that and we haven't really been on the best of terms lately. You said you were remembering, but I found it a little hard to believe after all this time. You did sort of seemed to be, but I'm not sure how it was happening,” Jack explained, “I brought your stuff from the house. You keep all of your things packed in your rucksack for some reason.”
Steve glanced in the back and found the large bag across the seat. He undid his seatbelt and leaned back to dig through it. On top was a black notebook with a message written in a code he hadn't seen in years across the front.
At first he didn't believe what he was seeing, but he looked closer there was no doubt about what it was. He opened the book to find more of the same. It took him a while to remember the exact code so that he could read through the pages.
“Is that how you've been doing it?” Jack asked after about 15 minutes.
Steve thought for moment before answering honestly, “Yeah.”
“So you never remembered?” he asked.
“Apparently not,” Steve flipped to the last page angrily.
When Jack let out a sigh Steve snapped the book shut and demanded, “What is it? You're clearly disappointed so why don't you just say what you want to say?”
“Of course I'm disappointed. I know you want to remember, and, yes, I want you to remember too. It's not pleasant losing you every night.”
“You never seemed to care before,” Steve scoffed under his breath.
Jack turned to him, “Alright why don't you say what you want to say now?”
“I don't have anything to say to you, Dad.”
“I think you do! You've lived here for over a year and every time you find out about what happened to you I've noticed there's a theme to what bothers you. It bothers you that you can't remember and that you were discharged from the Navy, which is understandable, but you also seem pretty pissed off about the fact that you're living at home again and I'd like to know why. I know you're used to being your own man, and I understand that it's probably an adjustment but your pride is getting old! Especially since it isn't even about that, it's about the fact that I sent you away.”
“You think I care about that after all this time?”
“Yes, I do. Because I would. Look I made mistakes and because of them I had to send you and your sister away, and that's something I'll always regret! I've worked ever since then to make things right.”
Steve looked at him questioningly.
“I'll tell you the truth. All of it. At another time, it's too long a story to go into right now and we're almost to Maleko's.”
“You know about that?” Steve asked.
“Easy enough for a cop to find where someone works,” Jack said, though Steve wasn't certain if he meant him or this guy Danny.
Danny. He was in several entries in the notebook. It was obvious Steve had taken an interest in him some time ago. There was also something about his father threatening him, although nothing about how much Jack knew about their relationship...though he probably had a pretty good idea now if he hadn't before.
As they pulled into the parking lot of Big Maleko's Sport and Surplus he asked pointedly, “There anything else we need to talk about?”
He met his father's eyes and held them.
“Only if you want to,” Jack finally answered.
Steve opened the car door and pulled his rucksack out of the backseat. Danny had already shut the door to his Camaro and was standing awkwardly.
“Your truck is over there,” he said turning toward the store.
“Thank you,” Steve said automatically, though the moment still felt tense because he could feel his father watching.
“Mr. Williams,” Jack said was turning his key on the lock in the front door. The other man turned around to look straight at Jack, and in the back of his mind Steve respected that he wasn't cowed by the situation.
“I wanted to apologize for what happened that day on the side of the road,” he said. Both of the younger men were surprised, and Steve was even more so when his father went on, “If you'd let me I'd like to make it up to you. Perhaps with a few beers later tonight at our house.”
Danny raised his eyebrows. “Well I appreciate the offer, but I'm not certain that's a good idea.”
Jack shrugged, “Well if you change your mind my partner and his cousin are coming over to grill around 6. Steve, I'll see you later?”
“Yeah,” Steve nodded, still reeling a little bit from what he just witnessed. It was obvious what that was. His father was making an effort...a very blatant one.
Once he got back into his Saab and pulled out of the parking lot, Steve watched Danny unlock the store and walk inside.
After a moment Steve went inside after him. He felt like he should at least say something before leaving.
When he walked in Danny let out an audible snort, “I knew you'd follow me in.”
Before Steve could respond Danny spoke again.
“Alright, I've tried respect your privacy and all. Let you have your mysterious crazy guy routine, but this...I can't take any more of this. Okay?” he ranted before stopping to wipe a hand over his face, “I've been jerked around for too long with this. I need to know what the hell is going on with you. All of it!”
“I thought you said you'd figured it out,” Steve answered after he finally stopped talking.
Danny looked at him before letting out a mirthless chuckle, “That you remember. Naturally. Alright, fine, I'm asking for total honestly, so I guess it's only fair I give the same. I think I have, but, frankly, I'd like to know if you're willing to tell me.”
As the words sunk in Steve suddenly understood just why he'd become so taken with this man that he wrote about him in near obsessive detail.
He twisted his lips into a smirk and answered, “Alright, but it's a long story...”
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It was about an hour after opening time when Steve finished his story.
“No shit?” Danny asked, “Amnesia? Really?”
“No shit,” Steve confirmed.
“So you've been 'remembering' or rather reminding yourself by writing everything that happens to you in a notebook that you read every morning?”
“Yep.”
“Shit! That's kind of...so simple it makes me feel stupid for not thinking of it sooner.”
“From what I wrote it seems you inspired me to do it.”
“That's...” Danny shook his head, “...I don't even know what to say to that!”
Steve sobered, “So what now?”
“What now?” he repeated.
“I'll understand if this is too weird for you...” he started but was cut off when Danny suddenly laughed.
“Christ, you were a SEAL? Really? No, I gotta call bullshit on that because you are the least subtle person on Earth!”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Steve asked feeling a little offended.
“If this were too weird for me I would have gotten a restraining order long ago,” Danny said, his tone lighter, “Evidently I seem to like you quite a lot.”
Steve smirked widely, “That so?”
Danny rolled his eyes and muttered, “More subtle by the minute.”
Steve laughed before Danny turned serious and said, “You know you aren't supposed to be here?”
He looked at him questioningly.
“You're off today,” Danny clarified.
“Oh.”
“Go home. Have a talk with your dad. I think you guys could use it,” he said and then added, “Give my excuses about the barbecue.”
“You aren't coming?” Steve asked.
“As I said, I don't think it's a good idea.”
“He isn't going to hurt you-”
“I know, but that doesn't mean he really wants me in his house.”
“He meant it,” Steve said, to which Danny gave him a doubtful look, “He's okay with this.”
“So he knew before that...?”
“No,” Steve answered, “but he's not going to say anything. Trust me.”
“Do you want me to be there?”
“This is weird for me too, but...yeah, I do.”
Danny thought for a moment before nodding, “Okay, I'll go.”
Steve couldn't help the smile that crept across his face.
Danny laughed, “Now go home you goof.”
“Goof?” Steve questioned.
“You are one,” Danny said, “If you leave your address I'll um, be there at six I guess.”
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He left Danny with the address of his childhood home which, he'd learned from the notebook, was where his father and, now he himself, were living.
Oh the drive back in the Silverado Danny pointed to him, he started pushing over in his mind what was going on.
He was out of the Navy. Suffering from short term memory loss. He'd sent the last couple hours telling his life story to and flirting with a guy. Oh and his father knew he liked men.
When he had been with Danny it hadn't seemed so weird, but now...everything was turned upside down.
By the time Steve went home he felt just as awkward as the moment he woke up. He parked beside the garage and went in through the back lanai. He stepped into the kitchen and almost ran into a young woman making lunch at the counter.
“Oh,” she said pulled her ear buds out, “Hey. Oh, I'm-”
“Kono,” Steve guessed, “Chin's cousin.”
“Right,” she smiled, “Jack told me about your notebook trick. Pretty cleaver, and I gotta say the past few weeks of waking up without your gun in my face have been nice.”
“I used to wake you up with a gun?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Sorry.”
“Don't sweat it, brah,” Kono shrugged.
“Can I ask you something?” Steve said.
“Sure,” she said around a mouthful of sandwich.
“Why do you live here?”
Kono looked up at him.
“Was it because of me? My dad needed help so you moved in?” he guessed.
She set down her plate and answered, “It wasn't just that. My career in surfing went down the drain after I messed up my knee. Chin got me some temporary work helping him and Jack with an investigation they were doing outside of HPD. They helped me out, helped me get into the academy...we're ohana.”
Steve wasn't sure how he felt about hearing someone call his father family when he hardly could himself, but there wasn't much point in dwelling on it now.
“I'm gonna go talk to my dad,” he said as he turned to leave.
“Hey!” She called him back, “Um, look I never said it, but I'm sorry for lying to you about the memory loss.”
“Thanks,” he answered awkwardly before going to find Jack.
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He and his father talked for most of the rest of the day. He even admitted that the reason he sent Steve and Mary away as kids was because he got caught up in some dirty police work involving a guy named Wo Fat. However, he said he and Chin and Kono managed work out the case over the course of the last year. Things were alright now.
The conversation was so emotionally draining that by the time the doorbell rang Steve had forgotten all about Danny coming over.
Before either McGarrett could get there Kono had already answered the door and was dragging him to the lanai where Chin and a pretty brunette, who turned out to be his fiancée Malia, were firing up the grill.
The introductions were uncomfortable until Danny stepped forward, shook Chin's hand firmly, and said “Nice to meet you without my face melding to the hood of my car.”
Chin smirked in response and shook his hand back.
As the food cooked and beers were passed around the conversation turned to how things were going for Kono at the police academy. Things flowed naturally from there since there were two cops, and, Steve learned, one ex-cop present.
He tried to keep Malia entertained as the only other outsider, but he was a bit too fascinated listening to Danny talking about working for the Newark PD on the mainland. Not that any of the stories were particularly fascinating in and of themselves, and yet they were because the tension of the day seemed to be chased away Danny's brusque Jersey attitude and flailing gesticulations. Even with as self-conscious as Steve was feeling about the fact that he was in the presence of four people, one of which was his father, who knew he was involved with a man Steve felt himself relaxing, and couldn't help but itch to write down every little tidbit he learned.
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After several beers everyone was more relaxed. While still on this side of pleasant buzz, Jack announced his intention to turn in.
“Hmm,” Malia muttered, blowing into her beer bottle like a flute, “I'm guessing we'll be staying here tonight.”
She dropped her bottle and giggled, prompting Chin to pull her close.
“Ah, no PDA!” Kono protested as she stumbled back inside for another beer.
“I'm going for a walk,” Steve stood.
Danny nodded, “Yeah I'll come with.”
As they hiked down the beach Steve let the breeze off the ocean clear his head. It was already dark, and the alcohol had lowered his inhibitions enough that Steve made a snap decision.
“So we had sex last night, right?” he asked.
Danny looked at him before answering simply, “Yeah.”
“Hmm.”
“What do you mean 'hm'? What the hell is that?!” the small man demanded loudly.
“I was just thinking it's pretty unfair,” he said, “You remember that and I don't.”
He came to a stop “Steven, are you asking me to have sex with you again?”
“Steven?” he questioned, “And, yes, I am.”
Danny rolled his eyes and swore under his breath, “I...what the hell am I going to do with you?”
“Can think of a few things.
“Original,” Danny's retort was muffled by Steve's lips.
He grunted and pulled away as Steve slid his arms around his back, “I'm still pretty sore from last night, babe.”
That information did nothing to quell Steve's enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, it inspired him to back Danny into a palm tree and sink to his knees.
“Steve! Don't...damnit, we're on your father's property-”
“Actually, I think my father's property ended 500 yards ago. This is the neighbor's,” he answered as he undid Danny's belt.
“What? Steven, this is indecent exposure!”
“Only if we're exposed, so you'd better be quiet,” Steve answered before laughing, “That is possible for you right?”
Danny opened his mouth to argue but Steve found a way to distract him, and, as it turned out, he did not stay quiet for long. The neighbors must have already been asleep, though, because they didn't get caught.
When they returned to the house Chin and Malia we're camped in the living-room on a makeshift bed they assembled from the couch cushions.
Steve and Danny slipped by them into the Silverado and Camaro respectively. His rucksack was still in the truck, so he simply carried it up with him when they got to Danny's apartment.
Danny insisted he write before they did anything else, not wanting a repeat of the morning. Steve agreed with that thought, so he set to work while Danny watched over his shoulder and then went on a 20 minute diatribe about the journal being encoded that seemed to boil down to 'I get the desire for privacy, but who does that?!'
As he got the last of the important information down he tossed the book aside and shut Danny up with his mouth. Something he'd noticed seemed to be very effective...and had made a note of.
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The next morning Steve woke up, thinking initially that he was on his cot in the barracks. He knew quickly that was not the case, though, and when he opened his eyes he found he was cuddled up on a pullout bed with a man.
After a brief moment of alarm that he'd done something as phenomenally stupid as hooking up in camp, he realized it was far more likely he wasn't in Afghanistan.
When he finally made a decision and shook the man awake, he opened one eye, rolled over with a groan, and tossed a book at Steve with a muffled, “Read. You wanna leave you can, but otherwise let me sleep and we'll deal with the awkwardness later.”
He wanted to demand answers, but the lettering on the front cover caught his eyes enough to convince him to open the journal.
After reading his own story he studied the man snoring beside him. Decided to honor his request to sleep a while longer, and busied himself making coffee.
They discussed their situation over the coffee a little while later, and Steve found it surprisingly easy to talk to this Danny character whom he was apparently seeing.
Things went amazingly smoothly from there as if Steve hadn't just received shocking news about his mental state written in his own hand.
There was a small hiccup over ham and pineapple pizza (which Danny picked off) at Iolani's, when Danny insisted that Steve at least send his father a text so that he wouldn't come looking again.
At the end of the day, though, Steve found himself dozing off on the same pullout bed he'd woken up on.
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Steve's routine was a strange one, and it sometimes varied, but he found himself falling into one. So much so that he added a day planner as secondary to the journal.
On days he worked at Maleko's he'd go for two cups of Kona after his morning swim and then meet Danny at the store.
It was somewhat a point of contention that, as a part timer, he couldn't work more than 20 hours a week. Danny stretched it as much as he could by scheduling four 5 hour shifts a week, but that still left Steve with more free time than he knew what to do with.
So he started fixing up some of the various parts of the house that had fallen into disrepair. Those types of projects were easy enough to do. He'd simply write down that he was doing them, and the half-finished product was visible proof that was always waiting for him when he came back to it.
As time went on he also worked on other ways to plan ahead with the memory loss. Feeling like if he tried it he might get used to it.
He started with ordering something online. The delivery was coming from Maui, so it would only take one day to arrive.
Then by making reservations at a restaurant, thus committing himself to go through with taking Danny to it no matter how he was feeling about their relationship.
He knew he was at ease in the other man's presence, though, he gathered from the journal, that some days were easier than others.
The other man seemed very patient with it in a way that, even on bad days, made Steve feel embarrassingly warm and fuzzy inside.
He got to know his father's long term house guest, Kono Kalakaua, and found her to be very cool and driven young woman. He didn't doubt that she'd have a bright future with HPD.
Even his relationship with his father improved, though it suffered a set back when Jack finally told Steve the rest of the Wo Fat story...that his mother hadn't died in a traffic accident, she was murdered and that's why he sent Steve and Mary away.
They spent a tense week not speaking at all before Jack forced him to listen as he explained how he, Chin, and Kono had tracked down Wo Fat once and for all. His associates had been picked up by Interpol, and Wo Fat himself was shot trying to escape.
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Being with Danny was still strange in a way. Steve had figured out as a teenager that he was attracted to guys as much as he was girls, and, of course, hid that fact out of peer pressure. Then for 15 years in the Navy his very career depended on doing so. It still would if it hadn't been for his accident.
The weight of those 15 years made for some strange moments.
Sometimes Steve flinched and instinctively scanned the room for anyone he might know. when Danny called him 'babe' in public. Eventhough he also called Kono, various waitresses, bartenders, baristas, and even some his regular customers 'babe' too.
Then there were other times when he felt a surge of anger before deciding to just throw caution to the wind and grip Danny's hand as they walked down the street because, after 15 years of self-conscious repression, he fucking well could!
The fact that his father knew about their relationship was also strange for Steve, but after a while Jack and Chin seemed to actually bond with him over cop stuff and they even began talking about introducing him to various people in the department where there might be openings.
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“Get dressed,” Steve ordered as he tossed Danny a pair of jeans he found in his closet.
“What?” Danny blinked sitting up, “Did you read your notebook?”
“Yes, that's how I know Kono's threatened my life if I don't bring you to help them Christmas shop,” he answered.
“What?” Danny repeated.
“I don't know. I wrote that she said something about beating Black Friday crowds by shopping the day before Thanksgiving. I checked on my phone, that's today.”
“And you're just okay with this right away?”
“Hell no I'm not okay with it!” Steve argued, “Last thing I remember I was in the 'Stan, now I'm in Honolulu being ordered by a police cadet to bring a guy who is apparently my boyfriend Christmas shopping. Ultimately I decided if I have to go through this fucked up situation, I want someone else to as well.”
“I'm betting you can tell I'm with you for your charm,” he answered sarcastically.
“Why wouldn't you be?” Steve asked, “I'm very charming.”
Danny muttered something less than polite as he dragged himself out of bed.
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In spite of his freak out that morning Steve actually found himself enjoying the shopping trip. Mostly he enjoyed how grouchy it made Danny.
He was a little disgusted with himself at first when he realized that the other man's bitching made him feel gushy like lovesick teen, but, as the day went on, he couldn't help but relax. He'd woken up with Afghanistan as the last thing he remembered clearly, but somehow it felt incredibly far away in his mind. Like somehow he knew over a year had passed even as his memory told him it was only one day ago.
“What's going on with you?” he finally asked when he caught Danny looking wistfully at the pavilion where kids were lining up to meet Santa.
“I have Grace for Thanksgiving this year,” he said.
Grace. His daughter.
“That's bad?”
Danny sighed, “I have Grace for Thanksgiving this year because we trade off holidays. Meaning Rachel and Stan got her for Halloween and trick-or-treating, and will get her again for Christmas morning and presents under the tree. I, however, get the first Thanksgiving in Hawaii. Meaning she'll get turkey breast that I'll no doubt overcook, pre-made pie, and my crappy apartment with two people in it, whereas if she was back home she'd have my ma's pumpkin pie made from scratch, my aunt's chestnut dressing, and be surrounded by people who love her! Here, however, she just gets me.”
“You're her dad. You matter most.”
Danny grunted in response.
“I was talking with Chin and Kono. Dad and I have been invited, ordered even, to attend the Kelly/Kalakaua Thanksgiving Luau.”
“Thanksgiving Luau? That is just wrong! Totally wrong!” Danny said.
“I was going to suggest you bring Grace,” Steve said, slightly annoyed.
“Aw, shit I'm sorry,” he turned to him, “I appreciate it babe, I really do, but I'm not going to just crash someone else's party with my daughter.”
“Well if you didn't bitch about Hawaiian culture so much you might have learned that ohana means extended family. Therefore, there will be at least 50 people there, not all of them related to the Kelly's or the Kalakau's by blood. My dad and I for instance. You're friends of ours, of Chin's, of Kono's. You and Grace will be welcome.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course, I'm sure,” he answered.
Danny smiled sheepishly before finally saying, “Thanks.”
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It took Steve a while to adjust the next morning, but being around the chaotic yet familiar Kelly/Kalakaua super-family made things easier.
By the time Danny arrived at the beach with is daughter in tow, Steve had managed to accept to his new situation.
Grace was a beautiful girl with dark hair and eyes. The complete opposite of her father's, and yet somehow he could see Danny in her. Especially in the way that, like her father, she was inexplicably easy for Steve to talk to, and he'd been nervous about doing so because he wasn't good with kids.
In no time, however, he was teaming up with her to convince Danny to let her try surfing.
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“What's on your mind, Jack?” Kono's voice caught him by surprise.
“Nothing,” Jack answered, taking a sip of his beer.
She followed his gaze to the water where Steve was standing waist deep as he helped Grace catch the waves on her board.
“I never would have guessed he'd be so good with kids,” she remarked. Jack grunted in response, taking another generous swig of beer.
“You know, Jack, you've been really accepting of all of this, but I know it's mainly because you're afraid of losing him again,” she said, “I understand this is hard, but he's still the same Steve.”
Jack was silent before finally answering quietly, “No he isn't.”
“What?” she asked, “You seriously think being with Danny has changed him?”
“I don't know,” he answered, “That's the problem. I have no way of knowing do I?”
“Jack-” she started.
“When you told me you thought he had something going on with a guy I thought it was ridiculous. Why would my son like men?”
“It's normal to not expect-”
“But then I realized...why wouldn't he? I had about as much evidence for either thought. None! He's my son and I know nothing about him.”
Kono sighed sadly before saying, “You can get to know him now, though.”
“I can't though!” he snapped, “It's too late.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He had a head injury so severe he lost his short term memory. There's no way a trauma like that wouldn't change someone.”
“Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's too late!” she said, “You know what? I was wrong! Steve has changed. Think back to what the past year was like. It was miserable and I don't just mean the times he'd wake me up with a gun or pull a surprise interrogation on me in the shower...he never hurt me, don't worry about that! What I mean is there's a reason he'd agree to go off surfing and to the shooting rage. It was so he'd have an excuse to leave until the could, he thought, leave permanently. He didn't want to be here and it was obvious!”
She turned out to the water, “Look at him now. Now I'd say it looks like there's no where else he'd rather be. He learns about the memory loss every day, but doesn't spend it pissed liked he did when he first got here. He's found a way to cope with the condition. He's changed alright...for the better! The accident may have changed him, you're right, but that doesn't mean he isn't the real him anymore. It's not too late, Jack. Just make an effort.”
Jack didn't answer, but Kono hadn't really expected him to in the first place.
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That afternoon as the sun was setting Steve was sitting on a beach chair scribbling some notes in the mini-notebooks he'd taken to carrying along with him all the times so that he didn't forget anything when writing in the main notebook.
“What are you doing?” Grace asked, appearing beside him.
“I was just writing down some notes.”
“About what?”
“Just about what happened today. Meeting you. Getting to surf with you,” he gave her a smile.
She grinned back, clearly charmed by him, and asked, “What do you need that for?”
Steve looked over Grace's head to where Danny was listening to the conversation. He met Steve's eyes and gave him a nod.
“Well you see, Grace, I had an accident a little while ago, and now I have some trouble with my memories. When I go to sleep I forget what happened during the day.”
Grace frowned, “So you're going to forget everything when you go to sleep?”
“Yes, that's why I'm writing it down. So that I'll remember.”
“Will you remember me?”
He thought about it but decided to answer truthfully, “I won't remember like you remember, but if I write it down I'll know who you are once I read it.”
She looked thoughtful for a second before sprinting off.
Steve looked up at Danny in alarm, “Did I upset her?”
“I don't know,” he turned to follow her, “Grace!”
Steve followed, “Grace!”
They searched through the crowd to Kelly's, Kalakau's and everyone in between before they found Grace accepting a Polaroid photo from Kamekona.
She ran back over to them and handed it to Steve, “Here. Now you'll know what I look like and won't have to write so much down.”
He looked down at the smiling photo of Grace before kneeling down to her level and thanking her for it.
She answered simply by giving him a hug. When he looked up over her shoulder he saw Danny turning away with a suspicious bat around his face. Steve understood, though. He himself was feeling a little tight in the chest.
“Okay Monkey, it's late, it's time for us to get going,” Danny said, “Did you say thank you to Mamo and Grandma Kelly for letting us spend Thanksgiving with them?”
“Yes Danno,” she answered.
“Danno?” Steve questioned.
“That's what I call Daddy,” Grace explained.
“Danno,” Steve repeated.
“Don't even think about it,” Danny warned, “Thank you for this. I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he left Danny with just a hug since they'd agreed not to tell Grace that they were a couple just yet.
And, as soon as, Danny and Grace were heading up the beach Steve took a spare pen out of the pocket of his cargos and wrote 'Danno' on the back of his hand.
000000000000
That night Steve stared at the word 'Danno' in his notebook. He snapped the book closed, and left his room to head downstairs.
He'd never gotten around to watching the 5 part documentary on Hawiian history that he'd ordered as an experiment in planning ahead, but now it would come in handy for another experiment.
000000000000
Steve waited until quarter till 4 next morning before driving over to Danny's place.
He pounded on the door and, after a few minutes, heard the lock click and the door was thrown open. Danny stepped outside.
“What the hell are you doing?” he hissed.
“I had to see you,” Steve said and pulled him into a kiss.
Danny paused a moment before shoving him away, “I don't care if you've adjusted to the news super early this morning! You do not just decide to come over here and see for yourself what you've written about hoping to get laid at the crack of dawn-”
“I haven't adjusted!” Steve said, “I wanted to see you because it's the first time I've ever seen you in the morning and remembered.”
“What?” Danny asked.
“I remember,” Steve repeated.
“But...how?”
“I didn't go to sleep last night.”
“What?!”
“I wanted to see. This proves it! It's only when I got to sleep that I lose the memory, it's not just after a certain period of time,” Steve explained.
Danny stared at him incredulously before answering, “Yeah, great, fascinating...but what do you mean you didn't go to sleep last night?”
“I stayed up all night, what's the big deal?”
“What's the big deal? Damnit! Steve, today is Black Friday. My alarm clock was actually set for ten minutes from now so that I could be in to open the store at 5:30! I need you at work today!”
“Who said I'm not coming to work?”
“I need you at work and awake!” he clarified.
“It's only one night of missed sleep, Danny, I'll be fine,” Steve said.
Danny looked at him before sighing heavily and said, “Alright. I'll go ahead and get dressed and we can arrive early.”
000000000000
Much to Danny's chagrin Steve did seem fine. As a matter of fact, he didn't even look as tired as Danny felt by the time they closed that night. They went back to Danny's place, where he took at nap before waking up to share pizza with Steve for dinner.
They both laid down on his pullout that night, but Danny fell asleep first.
The next morning when he woke up Steve was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, and sipping a cup of coffee.
“It's 7:30,” he said when he saw that Danny was awake, “You said a more decent hour. I waited for a more decent hour.”
Danny blinked tiredly at him before saying, “Please tell me you read that in your notebook.”
He was pretty certain he already knew the answer, though, because Steve actually looked quite a bit worse for wear by then.
He didn't answer, simply made up two breakfast plates and placed them on the bar.
With a sigh Danny got up and walked over to stand in front of him, “Babe, I understand where you're coming from here. I know you want to remember, but this isn't the way to go about it.”
“So far it's the only way to go about it,” Steve argued.
“This is an inherently flawed plan, Steve! You can't just stay awake forever. Even GI Joes need to sleep sometime!”
“GI stands for 'general infantry', I was special forces,” Steve corrected.
Danny gave him an unimpressed look and asked, “Really!?”
He set down his coffee cup, “Look, I know I can't keep this up forever, but I can for a while and it's the only way that works so far. So let me just have this. Okay, Danno?”
He sighed, “Alright fine. And don't call me 'Danno'. That's Grace's name for me.”
“Whatever you say Danno,” he smirked as he took another sip of coffee.
000000000000
Danny worked the closing shift that night, so Steve stayed at his own place. The next day he was off, so he spent a lazy morning doing some long overdue laundry before meeting Steve at their favorite sports bar.
When he got there Steve was waiting for him at a booth staring blankly into space.
“Damnit!” He growled, “You didn't sleep again last night, did you?”
“I slept,” he answered
He shook his head, “I'll ask again. How did you ever become a SEAL when you're that bad at lying? Did you drive here?”
Steve's expression was answer enough.
“Fuck, Steve! Driving sleep deprived is as dangerous as driving drunk, you could have hurt someone!”
“I'm fine,” he answered, though he felt very guilty.
“You're fine my ass!” Danny argued standing up, “Come on. I'm taking you home.”
“No!” Steve protested, “Danny, I thought you wanted to have lunch.”
Danny looked at him for a moment before saying, “You're right I do, but not here. I want to go somewhere else.”
“Okay,” Steve agreed, pulling himself up to follow Danny.
“I'm driving!” he said firmly.
Steve didn't argue. He kept his mind busy reading roadsigns as Danny drove them to a beach across town.
It turned out the place he wanted to go was a sushi stand owned by Chin's cousin Kamekona. The spicy shrimp he forced on them burned Steve's tongue, but at least it made him a little more alert.
He regretted it, however, when his stomach was churning as they drove back to his father's house via the scenic route.
Winding up Danny was something he normally did just for fun, this time though his noise would be a good distraction. The other man firmly refused to rise to the bait, however, so Steve was forced to turn, instead, to an old acupressure trick gripping the inside of his wrist that some guys in the Navy swore by for seasickness.
He made it through the drive without puking, so he counted that as a win.
“Your dad home?” Danny asked as they walked inside.
“No,” he answered.
“Good, lets get you up to bed.”
Steve forced himself to smirk and respond, “You think I'm that easy?”
“Easy?” Danny asked, “Please! I have serious doubts about whether you're even capable at the moment!”
In truth, Steve had some doubts too, but he wasn't about to back down from that challenge. He stepped forward and hooked his fingers into one of Danny's belt loops.
“No!” Danny batted his hand away, “You need to sleep, Steven.”
“Danny,” he argued, “I know my own limits, okay? I'm fine.”
“You're fine...you're,” he gritted his teeth and paced back and forth a few times, “Alright then if you're fine lets go for a run.”
“Huh?” Steve asked.
“Lets go for a run. You don't mind if I borrow some shorts, right?” Danny said.
“No, but since when do you want to go running? I have to bug you to exercise with me every time we've gone.”
“Yeah, but if I'm to have a chance at that job at HPD I have to get back into the habit of it,” he answered.
“You're right you should,” Steve answered, “But that's not why you're doing this. You're doing this to get me to admit I'm too tired. It's not going to work.”
“Oh no?” Danny asked.
“No!”
“Well if it's no problem go get your shoes then!”
And, just like that, he had Steve snared.
They made it an entire two miles, miraculously. Danny was sure to keep their path a circle around the house, and it was a good thing because at the end of the second mile, the world blurred and the next thing Steve knew he was pawing at the sand.
Danny swore and jogged back to him.
“Danno-” He muttered, swaying unsteadily as he tried to sit up.
“It's okay, hang on,” he said as he hooked his arms under Steve's shoulders and pulled him up.
“Damn, babe,” he commented as he lead Steve back to the house.
He supported him all the way up the stairs, and, once in Steve's room, he guided him down onto the bed.
He was just pulling Steve's shoes off when he shot up violently.
“Whoa, babe, take it easy.”
“I...I gotta get up,” he tried to stand.
“No you don't. You need to lie down.”
“No, no,” Steve protested, “Can't...can't go to sleep.”
“Steve,” Danny pulled him close, “Steve come on. It's okay, I've got you.”
“Don't let me go to sleep,” Steve said, his tone so close to pleading Danny's heart broke for him.
“Okay, babe, I won't,” he said softly as he pulled Steve down so that he was resting against his shoulder.
A hundred nights of walking the floor with Grace came in handy as he lulled Steve off, rubbing his back until the moment he felt his body slump into Danny's own. He waited a moment before he laid him down, supporting his back and head just like he had Grace. It was awkward since Steve was about 20 times bigger than his infant daughter, but he managed to get him settled onto the pillow and tucked in comfortably.
After watching for a few minutes to make sure he stayed out, Danny picked up the notebook on his bedside table, flipped to the last page and began writing.
TBC...
This sucker was getting long, and this was as best a stopping point as I could find. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I hope you enjoyed.
Paring: Steve/Danny
Rating: R
Warnings: AU
Summary: Short term memory loss makes falling in love with a loud mouthed Jersey boy all the more complicated for a former Navy SEAL
At first Steve thought he was on his cot in the barracks, but it quickly became obvious that wasn't the case because there was a body, a very warm, very naked, very male body, pressed up against his.
He opened his eyes and found himself looking into the face of a sleeping man. He tried to think but found he couldn't remember where he was, though he had a gut feeling it wasn't Afghanistan. Nor did he remember how he got there.
Not moving from his spot he did a quick scan of his surroundings.
He was on a pullout bed in a rather Spartan looking room, and for a moment Steve worried that it might be base housing. Surely he wouldn't have been that stupid though?
Steve turned his attention next to the person next to him. He looked to be about Steve's age. From the look of his arms and the feel of his body, it was obvious he was in pretty good shape. Overall, he was very good looking, but Steve did not recognize him.
Shifting himself so that he was sitting up more, he placed a hand on the man's arm and nudged him awake.
The other man cracked his eyes open, looked up at Steve, and gave him a lazy half-smile.
“Mornin'” he murmured, voice rough with sleep. Shifting he reached up and placed his hand around Steve's waist to pull closer to him.
He stiffened under the touch, and the man's eyes opened again. He studied Steve intently for a moment before pushing himself up and asking carefully, “You don't remember do you?”
“No,” Steve answered, “Did I have too much to drink?”
“No you didn't,” he answered.
“Then what happened? Where the hell am I? Why don't I remember how I got here?”
“I don't know for certain, though I think I'm starting to understand,” he sighed sitting up and throwing the covers back. Steve snapped alert at the sudden movement.
“Hey,” the man slowed and spoke to him in an calm even voice that made it obvious he's had training, “It's okay. I'm just getting up. I'm not going to jump you or anything.”
Steve somewhat resented the implication. Between the surroundings, and the way his ass and thighs were aching, it was obvious he hooked up with this guy. What bothered him is that he didn't remember how.
The other man slowly got out of bed and moved over to a closet where he took out some clothes and began getting dressed.
“Listen, I can't give you all the details,” he said, “Though I'll take you to someone who, I think, can.”
“Who?” Steve demanded.
“Your dad.”
Steve found that idea ridiculous, “My dad? I haven't seen my dad in 20 years and he lives in Hawaii!”
Surprise flashed through the man's eyes, followed quickly by sadness, “You are in Hawaii.”
“What?” he leaped off the bed and stalked over to the window to yank the blinds open. The view neither confirmed nor denied in the claim, as was only of the other side of an apartment complex and a parking lot.
He turned to the man, “You'd better explain.”
“I told you, I can't!” he insisted, “I don't know the details. You'll just have to trust me on this! Get dressed. You left your truck at work, so I'll take you there and you can drive yourself home. You seem to know where to go, I've seen you do it before.”
“My truck?” Steve questioned.
The other man looked at him for a minute before answering, “Yeah, I'll take you to it.”
Steve hesitated, though he also felt like a part of him that wanted to do as the man requested. It was a strange feeling since he was a complete stranger.
He didn't seem like a threat, though, and what he'd requested was basically what Steve wanted, so he set to picking his clothes up off the floor and putting them on.
While he dressed the other man went into the bathroom. When he emerged his wild blond hair that was sticking up when he woke had been tamed into a sleeked back style.
He gathered up his stuff and showed Steve out the door.
“What's your name?” Steve asked, getting his bearings enough to think to gather more information.
Sadness and not a small amount of annoyance crossed the other man's features as he turned to lock the door and answered, “Danny.”
“Danny,” Steve repeated, trying out the name. It didn't bring up any specific memory.
He followed Danny down the steps, but both men stopped simultaneously when his father's Saab pulled into the parking space nearest the staircase and the man in question climbed out.
Steve could practically feel Danny tense next to him. He also noted that his right hand instinctively twitched toward his hip, but then fell away when he realized what he'd done. Gun hand. Steve filed the observation away for later, since the extremely awkward situation in front of him demanded attention.
Steve crossed his arms over his chest, “Dad.”
“Steve,” Jack said, “You've been gone for a while. I was just concerned.”
The three regarded each other silently for a moment before Danny broke the silence with barely reigned in aggravation, “I have to get to work. You two can follow if you want to pick up your truck.”
With that he brushed past the two and climbed into a silver Camaro.
Jack and Steve regarded each other for a minute before silently agreeing. Both men climbed into Jack's Saab. Danny was about a quarter mile away already, so until they caught up to him both were silent.
“What the hell's going on, Dad?” Steve finally asked once they were on the Camaro's bumper.
“What do you remember?” Jack asked.
“I remember...I don't even know what I remember,” Steve said, “I was in Afghanistan, I think.”
His father looked at him, “Do you remember Pearl a few weeks ago?”
“What?”
Jack sighed, “You were in Afghanistan. A little over a year ago. You were injured by an IED and have had short term memory loss ever since.”
“Short term memory loss?” Steve asked.
“For about a year you would lose your memories every night, and recently...I'm not sure.”
“What do you mean you aren't sure?”
“You said you were remembering.”
“I was remembering? So what I lost it? I quit remembering today?” Steve asked.
“Maybe,” Jack said cryptically.
“What do you mean 'maybe'?!” he demanded.
“You said you were remembering, but I was never sure of that.”
“What do you mean?”
“A few weeks ago you found out about your condition,” he backtracked at the confused look on Steve's face, “For a while...I didn't tell you about the accident, I just said you were in town on leave.”
“What?!”
“I know....we argued about that and we haven't really been on the best of terms lately. You said you were remembering, but I found it a little hard to believe after all this time. You did sort of seemed to be, but I'm not sure how it was happening,” Jack explained, “I brought your stuff from the house. You keep all of your things packed in your rucksack for some reason.”
Steve glanced in the back and found the large bag across the seat. He undid his seatbelt and leaned back to dig through it. On top was a black notebook with a message written in a code he hadn't seen in years across the front.
At first he didn't believe what he was seeing, but he looked closer there was no doubt about what it was. He opened the book to find more of the same. It took him a while to remember the exact code so that he could read through the pages.
“Is that how you've been doing it?” Jack asked after about 15 minutes.
Steve thought for moment before answering honestly, “Yeah.”
“So you never remembered?” he asked.
“Apparently not,” Steve flipped to the last page angrily.
When Jack let out a sigh Steve snapped the book shut and demanded, “What is it? You're clearly disappointed so why don't you just say what you want to say?”
“Of course I'm disappointed. I know you want to remember, and, yes, I want you to remember too. It's not pleasant losing you every night.”
“You never seemed to care before,” Steve scoffed under his breath.
Jack turned to him, “Alright why don't you say what you want to say now?”
“I don't have anything to say to you, Dad.”
“I think you do! You've lived here for over a year and every time you find out about what happened to you I've noticed there's a theme to what bothers you. It bothers you that you can't remember and that you were discharged from the Navy, which is understandable, but you also seem pretty pissed off about the fact that you're living at home again and I'd like to know why. I know you're used to being your own man, and I understand that it's probably an adjustment but your pride is getting old! Especially since it isn't even about that, it's about the fact that I sent you away.”
“You think I care about that after all this time?”
“Yes, I do. Because I would. Look I made mistakes and because of them I had to send you and your sister away, and that's something I'll always regret! I've worked ever since then to make things right.”
Steve looked at him questioningly.
“I'll tell you the truth. All of it. At another time, it's too long a story to go into right now and we're almost to Maleko's.”
“You know about that?” Steve asked.
“Easy enough for a cop to find where someone works,” Jack said, though Steve wasn't certain if he meant him or this guy Danny.
Danny. He was in several entries in the notebook. It was obvious Steve had taken an interest in him some time ago. There was also something about his father threatening him, although nothing about how much Jack knew about their relationship...though he probably had a pretty good idea now if he hadn't before.
As they pulled into the parking lot of Big Maleko's Sport and Surplus he asked pointedly, “There anything else we need to talk about?”
He met his father's eyes and held them.
“Only if you want to,” Jack finally answered.
Steve opened the car door and pulled his rucksack out of the backseat. Danny had already shut the door to his Camaro and was standing awkwardly.
“Your truck is over there,” he said turning toward the store.
“Thank you,” Steve said automatically, though the moment still felt tense because he could feel his father watching.
“Mr. Williams,” Jack said was turning his key on the lock in the front door. The other man turned around to look straight at Jack, and in the back of his mind Steve respected that he wasn't cowed by the situation.
“I wanted to apologize for what happened that day on the side of the road,” he said. Both of the younger men were surprised, and Steve was even more so when his father went on, “If you'd let me I'd like to make it up to you. Perhaps with a few beers later tonight at our house.”
Danny raised his eyebrows. “Well I appreciate the offer, but I'm not certain that's a good idea.”
Jack shrugged, “Well if you change your mind my partner and his cousin are coming over to grill around 6. Steve, I'll see you later?”
“Yeah,” Steve nodded, still reeling a little bit from what he just witnessed. It was obvious what that was. His father was making an effort...a very blatant one.
Once he got back into his Saab and pulled out of the parking lot, Steve watched Danny unlock the store and walk inside.
After a moment Steve went inside after him. He felt like he should at least say something before leaving.
When he walked in Danny let out an audible snort, “I knew you'd follow me in.”
Before Steve could respond Danny spoke again.
“Alright, I've tried respect your privacy and all. Let you have your mysterious crazy guy routine, but this...I can't take any more of this. Okay?” he ranted before stopping to wipe a hand over his face, “I've been jerked around for too long with this. I need to know what the hell is going on with you. All of it!”
“I thought you said you'd figured it out,” Steve answered after he finally stopped talking.
Danny looked at him before letting out a mirthless chuckle, “That you remember. Naturally. Alright, fine, I'm asking for total honestly, so I guess it's only fair I give the same. I think I have, but, frankly, I'd like to know if you're willing to tell me.”
As the words sunk in Steve suddenly understood just why he'd become so taken with this man that he wrote about him in near obsessive detail.
He twisted his lips into a smirk and answered, “Alright, but it's a long story...”
000000000000
It was about an hour after opening time when Steve finished his story.
“No shit?” Danny asked, “Amnesia? Really?”
“No shit,” Steve confirmed.
“So you've been 'remembering' or rather reminding yourself by writing everything that happens to you in a notebook that you read every morning?”
“Yep.”
“Shit! That's kind of...so simple it makes me feel stupid for not thinking of it sooner.”
“From what I wrote it seems you inspired me to do it.”
“That's...” Danny shook his head, “...I don't even know what to say to that!”
Steve sobered, “So what now?”
“What now?” he repeated.
“I'll understand if this is too weird for you...” he started but was cut off when Danny suddenly laughed.
“Christ, you were a SEAL? Really? No, I gotta call bullshit on that because you are the least subtle person on Earth!”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Steve asked feeling a little offended.
“If this were too weird for me I would have gotten a restraining order long ago,” Danny said, his tone lighter, “Evidently I seem to like you quite a lot.”
Steve smirked widely, “That so?”
Danny rolled his eyes and muttered, “More subtle by the minute.”
Steve laughed before Danny turned serious and said, “You know you aren't supposed to be here?”
He looked at him questioningly.
“You're off today,” Danny clarified.
“Oh.”
“Go home. Have a talk with your dad. I think you guys could use it,” he said and then added, “Give my excuses about the barbecue.”
“You aren't coming?” Steve asked.
“As I said, I don't think it's a good idea.”
“He isn't going to hurt you-”
“I know, but that doesn't mean he really wants me in his house.”
“He meant it,” Steve said, to which Danny gave him a doubtful look, “He's okay with this.”
“So he knew before that...?”
“No,” Steve answered, “but he's not going to say anything. Trust me.”
“Do you want me to be there?”
“This is weird for me too, but...yeah, I do.”
Danny thought for a moment before nodding, “Okay, I'll go.”
Steve couldn't help the smile that crept across his face.
Danny laughed, “Now go home you goof.”
“Goof?” Steve questioned.
“You are one,” Danny said, “If you leave your address I'll um, be there at six I guess.”
000000000000
He left Danny with the address of his childhood home which, he'd learned from the notebook, was where his father and, now he himself, were living.
Oh the drive back in the Silverado Danny pointed to him, he started pushing over in his mind what was going on.
He was out of the Navy. Suffering from short term memory loss. He'd sent the last couple hours telling his life story to and flirting with a guy. Oh and his father knew he liked men.
When he had been with Danny it hadn't seemed so weird, but now...everything was turned upside down.
By the time Steve went home he felt just as awkward as the moment he woke up. He parked beside the garage and went in through the back lanai. He stepped into the kitchen and almost ran into a young woman making lunch at the counter.
“Oh,” she said pulled her ear buds out, “Hey. Oh, I'm-”
“Kono,” Steve guessed, “Chin's cousin.”
“Right,” she smiled, “Jack told me about your notebook trick. Pretty cleaver, and I gotta say the past few weeks of waking up without your gun in my face have been nice.”
“I used to wake you up with a gun?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Sorry.”
“Don't sweat it, brah,” Kono shrugged.
“Can I ask you something?” Steve said.
“Sure,” she said around a mouthful of sandwich.
“Why do you live here?”
Kono looked up at him.
“Was it because of me? My dad needed help so you moved in?” he guessed.
She set down her plate and answered, “It wasn't just that. My career in surfing went down the drain after I messed up my knee. Chin got me some temporary work helping him and Jack with an investigation they were doing outside of HPD. They helped me out, helped me get into the academy...we're ohana.”
Steve wasn't sure how he felt about hearing someone call his father family when he hardly could himself, but there wasn't much point in dwelling on it now.
“I'm gonna go talk to my dad,” he said as he turned to leave.
“Hey!” She called him back, “Um, look I never said it, but I'm sorry for lying to you about the memory loss.”
“Thanks,” he answered awkwardly before going to find Jack.
000000000000
He and his father talked for most of the rest of the day. He even admitted that the reason he sent Steve and Mary away as kids was because he got caught up in some dirty police work involving a guy named Wo Fat. However, he said he and Chin and Kono managed work out the case over the course of the last year. Things were alright now.
The conversation was so emotionally draining that by the time the doorbell rang Steve had forgotten all about Danny coming over.
Before either McGarrett could get there Kono had already answered the door and was dragging him to the lanai where Chin and a pretty brunette, who turned out to be his fiancée Malia, were firing up the grill.
The introductions were uncomfortable until Danny stepped forward, shook Chin's hand firmly, and said “Nice to meet you without my face melding to the hood of my car.”
Chin smirked in response and shook his hand back.
As the food cooked and beers were passed around the conversation turned to how things were going for Kono at the police academy. Things flowed naturally from there since there were two cops, and, Steve learned, one ex-cop present.
He tried to keep Malia entertained as the only other outsider, but he was a bit too fascinated listening to Danny talking about working for the Newark PD on the mainland. Not that any of the stories were particularly fascinating in and of themselves, and yet they were because the tension of the day seemed to be chased away Danny's brusque Jersey attitude and flailing gesticulations. Even with as self-conscious as Steve was feeling about the fact that he was in the presence of four people, one of which was his father, who knew he was involved with a man Steve felt himself relaxing, and couldn't help but itch to write down every little tidbit he learned.
000000000000
After several beers everyone was more relaxed. While still on this side of pleasant buzz, Jack announced his intention to turn in.
“Hmm,” Malia muttered, blowing into her beer bottle like a flute, “I'm guessing we'll be staying here tonight.”
She dropped her bottle and giggled, prompting Chin to pull her close.
“Ah, no PDA!” Kono protested as she stumbled back inside for another beer.
“I'm going for a walk,” Steve stood.
Danny nodded, “Yeah I'll come with.”
As they hiked down the beach Steve let the breeze off the ocean clear his head. It was already dark, and the alcohol had lowered his inhibitions enough that Steve made a snap decision.
“So we had sex last night, right?” he asked.
Danny looked at him before answering simply, “Yeah.”
“Hmm.”
“What do you mean 'hm'? What the hell is that?!” the small man demanded loudly.
“I was just thinking it's pretty unfair,” he said, “You remember that and I don't.”
He came to a stop “Steven, are you asking me to have sex with you again?”
“Steven?” he questioned, “And, yes, I am.”
Danny rolled his eyes and swore under his breath, “I...what the hell am I going to do with you?”
“Can think of a few things.
“Original,” Danny's retort was muffled by Steve's lips.
He grunted and pulled away as Steve slid his arms around his back, “I'm still pretty sore from last night, babe.”
That information did nothing to quell Steve's enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, it inspired him to back Danny into a palm tree and sink to his knees.
“Steve! Don't...damnit, we're on your father's property-”
“Actually, I think my father's property ended 500 yards ago. This is the neighbor's,” he answered as he undid Danny's belt.
“What? Steven, this is indecent exposure!”
“Only if we're exposed, so you'd better be quiet,” Steve answered before laughing, “That is possible for you right?”
Danny opened his mouth to argue but Steve found a way to distract him, and, as it turned out, he did not stay quiet for long. The neighbors must have already been asleep, though, because they didn't get caught.
When they returned to the house Chin and Malia we're camped in the living-room on a makeshift bed they assembled from the couch cushions.
Steve and Danny slipped by them into the Silverado and Camaro respectively. His rucksack was still in the truck, so he simply carried it up with him when they got to Danny's apartment.
Danny insisted he write before they did anything else, not wanting a repeat of the morning. Steve agreed with that thought, so he set to work while Danny watched over his shoulder and then went on a 20 minute diatribe about the journal being encoded that seemed to boil down to 'I get the desire for privacy, but who does that?!'
As he got the last of the important information down he tossed the book aside and shut Danny up with his mouth. Something he'd noticed seemed to be very effective...and had made a note of.
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The next morning Steve woke up, thinking initially that he was on his cot in the barracks. He knew quickly that was not the case, though, and when he opened his eyes he found he was cuddled up on a pullout bed with a man.
After a brief moment of alarm that he'd done something as phenomenally stupid as hooking up in camp, he realized it was far more likely he wasn't in Afghanistan.
When he finally made a decision and shook the man awake, he opened one eye, rolled over with a groan, and tossed a book at Steve with a muffled, “Read. You wanna leave you can, but otherwise let me sleep and we'll deal with the awkwardness later.”
He wanted to demand answers, but the lettering on the front cover caught his eyes enough to convince him to open the journal.
After reading his own story he studied the man snoring beside him. Decided to honor his request to sleep a while longer, and busied himself making coffee.
They discussed their situation over the coffee a little while later, and Steve found it surprisingly easy to talk to this Danny character whom he was apparently seeing.
Things went amazingly smoothly from there as if Steve hadn't just received shocking news about his mental state written in his own hand.
There was a small hiccup over ham and pineapple pizza (which Danny picked off) at Iolani's, when Danny insisted that Steve at least send his father a text so that he wouldn't come looking again.
At the end of the day, though, Steve found himself dozing off on the same pullout bed he'd woken up on.
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Steve's routine was a strange one, and it sometimes varied, but he found himself falling into one. So much so that he added a day planner as secondary to the journal.
On days he worked at Maleko's he'd go for two cups of Kona after his morning swim and then meet Danny at the store.
It was somewhat a point of contention that, as a part timer, he couldn't work more than 20 hours a week. Danny stretched it as much as he could by scheduling four 5 hour shifts a week, but that still left Steve with more free time than he knew what to do with.
So he started fixing up some of the various parts of the house that had fallen into disrepair. Those types of projects were easy enough to do. He'd simply write down that he was doing them, and the half-finished product was visible proof that was always waiting for him when he came back to it.
As time went on he also worked on other ways to plan ahead with the memory loss. Feeling like if he tried it he might get used to it.
He started with ordering something online. The delivery was coming from Maui, so it would only take one day to arrive.
Then by making reservations at a restaurant, thus committing himself to go through with taking Danny to it no matter how he was feeling about their relationship.
He knew he was at ease in the other man's presence, though, he gathered from the journal, that some days were easier than others.
The other man seemed very patient with it in a way that, even on bad days, made Steve feel embarrassingly warm and fuzzy inside.
He got to know his father's long term house guest, Kono Kalakaua, and found her to be very cool and driven young woman. He didn't doubt that she'd have a bright future with HPD.
Even his relationship with his father improved, though it suffered a set back when Jack finally told Steve the rest of the Wo Fat story...that his mother hadn't died in a traffic accident, she was murdered and that's why he sent Steve and Mary away.
They spent a tense week not speaking at all before Jack forced him to listen as he explained how he, Chin, and Kono had tracked down Wo Fat once and for all. His associates had been picked up by Interpol, and Wo Fat himself was shot trying to escape.
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Being with Danny was still strange in a way. Steve had figured out as a teenager that he was attracted to guys as much as he was girls, and, of course, hid that fact out of peer pressure. Then for 15 years in the Navy his very career depended on doing so. It still would if it hadn't been for his accident.
The weight of those 15 years made for some strange moments.
Sometimes Steve flinched and instinctively scanned the room for anyone he might know. when Danny called him 'babe' in public. Eventhough he also called Kono, various waitresses, bartenders, baristas, and even some his regular customers 'babe' too.
Then there were other times when he felt a surge of anger before deciding to just throw caution to the wind and grip Danny's hand as they walked down the street because, after 15 years of self-conscious repression, he fucking well could!
The fact that his father knew about their relationship was also strange for Steve, but after a while Jack and Chin seemed to actually bond with him over cop stuff and they even began talking about introducing him to various people in the department where there might be openings.
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“Get dressed,” Steve ordered as he tossed Danny a pair of jeans he found in his closet.
“What?” Danny blinked sitting up, “Did you read your notebook?”
“Yes, that's how I know Kono's threatened my life if I don't bring you to help them Christmas shop,” he answered.
“What?” Danny repeated.
“I don't know. I wrote that she said something about beating Black Friday crowds by shopping the day before Thanksgiving. I checked on my phone, that's today.”
“And you're just okay with this right away?”
“Hell no I'm not okay with it!” Steve argued, “Last thing I remember I was in the 'Stan, now I'm in Honolulu being ordered by a police cadet to bring a guy who is apparently my boyfriend Christmas shopping. Ultimately I decided if I have to go through this fucked up situation, I want someone else to as well.”
“I'm betting you can tell I'm with you for your charm,” he answered sarcastically.
“Why wouldn't you be?” Steve asked, “I'm very charming.”
Danny muttered something less than polite as he dragged himself out of bed.
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In spite of his freak out that morning Steve actually found himself enjoying the shopping trip. Mostly he enjoyed how grouchy it made Danny.
He was a little disgusted with himself at first when he realized that the other man's bitching made him feel gushy like lovesick teen, but, as the day went on, he couldn't help but relax. He'd woken up with Afghanistan as the last thing he remembered clearly, but somehow it felt incredibly far away in his mind. Like somehow he knew over a year had passed even as his memory told him it was only one day ago.
“What's going on with you?” he finally asked when he caught Danny looking wistfully at the pavilion where kids were lining up to meet Santa.
“I have Grace for Thanksgiving this year,” he said.
Grace. His daughter.
“That's bad?”
Danny sighed, “I have Grace for Thanksgiving this year because we trade off holidays. Meaning Rachel and Stan got her for Halloween and trick-or-treating, and will get her again for Christmas morning and presents under the tree. I, however, get the first Thanksgiving in Hawaii. Meaning she'll get turkey breast that I'll no doubt overcook, pre-made pie, and my crappy apartment with two people in it, whereas if she was back home she'd have my ma's pumpkin pie made from scratch, my aunt's chestnut dressing, and be surrounded by people who love her! Here, however, she just gets me.”
“You're her dad. You matter most.”
Danny grunted in response.
“I was talking with Chin and Kono. Dad and I have been invited, ordered even, to attend the Kelly/Kalakaua Thanksgiving Luau.”
“Thanksgiving Luau? That is just wrong! Totally wrong!” Danny said.
“I was going to suggest you bring Grace,” Steve said, slightly annoyed.
“Aw, shit I'm sorry,” he turned to him, “I appreciate it babe, I really do, but I'm not going to just crash someone else's party with my daughter.”
“Well if you didn't bitch about Hawaiian culture so much you might have learned that ohana means extended family. Therefore, there will be at least 50 people there, not all of them related to the Kelly's or the Kalakau's by blood. My dad and I for instance. You're friends of ours, of Chin's, of Kono's. You and Grace will be welcome.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course, I'm sure,” he answered.
Danny smiled sheepishly before finally saying, “Thanks.”
000000000000
It took Steve a while to adjust the next morning, but being around the chaotic yet familiar Kelly/Kalakaua super-family made things easier.
By the time Danny arrived at the beach with is daughter in tow, Steve had managed to accept to his new situation.
Grace was a beautiful girl with dark hair and eyes. The complete opposite of her father's, and yet somehow he could see Danny in her. Especially in the way that, like her father, she was inexplicably easy for Steve to talk to, and he'd been nervous about doing so because he wasn't good with kids.
In no time, however, he was teaming up with her to convince Danny to let her try surfing.
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“What's on your mind, Jack?” Kono's voice caught him by surprise.
“Nothing,” Jack answered, taking a sip of his beer.
She followed his gaze to the water where Steve was standing waist deep as he helped Grace catch the waves on her board.
“I never would have guessed he'd be so good with kids,” she remarked. Jack grunted in response, taking another generous swig of beer.
“You know, Jack, you've been really accepting of all of this, but I know it's mainly because you're afraid of losing him again,” she said, “I understand this is hard, but he's still the same Steve.”
Jack was silent before finally answering quietly, “No he isn't.”
“What?” she asked, “You seriously think being with Danny has changed him?”
“I don't know,” he answered, “That's the problem. I have no way of knowing do I?”
“Jack-” she started.
“When you told me you thought he had something going on with a guy I thought it was ridiculous. Why would my son like men?”
“It's normal to not expect-”
“But then I realized...why wouldn't he? I had about as much evidence for either thought. None! He's my son and I know nothing about him.”
Kono sighed sadly before saying, “You can get to know him now, though.”
“I can't though!” he snapped, “It's too late.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He had a head injury so severe he lost his short term memory. There's no way a trauma like that wouldn't change someone.”
“Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's too late!” she said, “You know what? I was wrong! Steve has changed. Think back to what the past year was like. It was miserable and I don't just mean the times he'd wake me up with a gun or pull a surprise interrogation on me in the shower...he never hurt me, don't worry about that! What I mean is there's a reason he'd agree to go off surfing and to the shooting rage. It was so he'd have an excuse to leave until the could, he thought, leave permanently. He didn't want to be here and it was obvious!”
She turned out to the water, “Look at him now. Now I'd say it looks like there's no where else he'd rather be. He learns about the memory loss every day, but doesn't spend it pissed liked he did when he first got here. He's found a way to cope with the condition. He's changed alright...for the better! The accident may have changed him, you're right, but that doesn't mean he isn't the real him anymore. It's not too late, Jack. Just make an effort.”
Jack didn't answer, but Kono hadn't really expected him to in the first place.
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That afternoon as the sun was setting Steve was sitting on a beach chair scribbling some notes in the mini-notebooks he'd taken to carrying along with him all the times so that he didn't forget anything when writing in the main notebook.
“What are you doing?” Grace asked, appearing beside him.
“I was just writing down some notes.”
“About what?”
“Just about what happened today. Meeting you. Getting to surf with you,” he gave her a smile.
She grinned back, clearly charmed by him, and asked, “What do you need that for?”
Steve looked over Grace's head to where Danny was listening to the conversation. He met Steve's eyes and gave him a nod.
“Well you see, Grace, I had an accident a little while ago, and now I have some trouble with my memories. When I go to sleep I forget what happened during the day.”
Grace frowned, “So you're going to forget everything when you go to sleep?”
“Yes, that's why I'm writing it down. So that I'll remember.”
“Will you remember me?”
He thought about it but decided to answer truthfully, “I won't remember like you remember, but if I write it down I'll know who you are once I read it.”
She looked thoughtful for a second before sprinting off.
Steve looked up at Danny in alarm, “Did I upset her?”
“I don't know,” he turned to follow her, “Grace!”
Steve followed, “Grace!”
They searched through the crowd to Kelly's, Kalakau's and everyone in between before they found Grace accepting a Polaroid photo from Kamekona.
She ran back over to them and handed it to Steve, “Here. Now you'll know what I look like and won't have to write so much down.”
He looked down at the smiling photo of Grace before kneeling down to her level and thanking her for it.
She answered simply by giving him a hug. When he looked up over her shoulder he saw Danny turning away with a suspicious bat around his face. Steve understood, though. He himself was feeling a little tight in the chest.
“Okay Monkey, it's late, it's time for us to get going,” Danny said, “Did you say thank you to Mamo and Grandma Kelly for letting us spend Thanksgiving with them?”
“Yes Danno,” she answered.
“Danno?” Steve questioned.
“That's what I call Daddy,” Grace explained.
“Danno,” Steve repeated.
“Don't even think about it,” Danny warned, “Thank you for this. I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he left Danny with just a hug since they'd agreed not to tell Grace that they were a couple just yet.
And, as soon as, Danny and Grace were heading up the beach Steve took a spare pen out of the pocket of his cargos and wrote 'Danno' on the back of his hand.
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That night Steve stared at the word 'Danno' in his notebook. He snapped the book closed, and left his room to head downstairs.
He'd never gotten around to watching the 5 part documentary on Hawiian history that he'd ordered as an experiment in planning ahead, but now it would come in handy for another experiment.
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Steve waited until quarter till 4 next morning before driving over to Danny's place.
He pounded on the door and, after a few minutes, heard the lock click and the door was thrown open. Danny stepped outside.
“What the hell are you doing?” he hissed.
“I had to see you,” Steve said and pulled him into a kiss.
Danny paused a moment before shoving him away, “I don't care if you've adjusted to the news super early this morning! You do not just decide to come over here and see for yourself what you've written about hoping to get laid at the crack of dawn-”
“I haven't adjusted!” Steve said, “I wanted to see you because it's the first time I've ever seen you in the morning and remembered.”
“What?” Danny asked.
“I remember,” Steve repeated.
“But...how?”
“I didn't go to sleep last night.”
“What?!”
“I wanted to see. This proves it! It's only when I got to sleep that I lose the memory, it's not just after a certain period of time,” Steve explained.
Danny stared at him incredulously before answering, “Yeah, great, fascinating...but what do you mean you didn't go to sleep last night?”
“I stayed up all night, what's the big deal?”
“What's the big deal? Damnit! Steve, today is Black Friday. My alarm clock was actually set for ten minutes from now so that I could be in to open the store at 5:30! I need you at work today!”
“Who said I'm not coming to work?”
“I need you at work and awake!” he clarified.
“It's only one night of missed sleep, Danny, I'll be fine,” Steve said.
Danny looked at him before sighing heavily and said, “Alright. I'll go ahead and get dressed and we can arrive early.”
000000000000
Much to Danny's chagrin Steve did seem fine. As a matter of fact, he didn't even look as tired as Danny felt by the time they closed that night. They went back to Danny's place, where he took at nap before waking up to share pizza with Steve for dinner.
They both laid down on his pullout that night, but Danny fell asleep first.
The next morning when he woke up Steve was in the kitchen cooking breakfast, and sipping a cup of coffee.
“It's 7:30,” he said when he saw that Danny was awake, “You said a more decent hour. I waited for a more decent hour.”
Danny blinked tiredly at him before saying, “Please tell me you read that in your notebook.”
He was pretty certain he already knew the answer, though, because Steve actually looked quite a bit worse for wear by then.
He didn't answer, simply made up two breakfast plates and placed them on the bar.
With a sigh Danny got up and walked over to stand in front of him, “Babe, I understand where you're coming from here. I know you want to remember, but this isn't the way to go about it.”
“So far it's the only way to go about it,” Steve argued.
“This is an inherently flawed plan, Steve! You can't just stay awake forever. Even GI Joes need to sleep sometime!”
“GI stands for 'general infantry', I was special forces,” Steve corrected.
Danny gave him an unimpressed look and asked, “Really!?”
He set down his coffee cup, “Look, I know I can't keep this up forever, but I can for a while and it's the only way that works so far. So let me just have this. Okay, Danno?”
He sighed, “Alright fine. And don't call me 'Danno'. That's Grace's name for me.”
“Whatever you say Danno,” he smirked as he took another sip of coffee.
000000000000
Danny worked the closing shift that night, so Steve stayed at his own place. The next day he was off, so he spent a lazy morning doing some long overdue laundry before meeting Steve at their favorite sports bar.
When he got there Steve was waiting for him at a booth staring blankly into space.
“Damnit!” He growled, “You didn't sleep again last night, did you?”
“I slept,” he answered
He shook his head, “I'll ask again. How did you ever become a SEAL when you're that bad at lying? Did you drive here?”
Steve's expression was answer enough.
“Fuck, Steve! Driving sleep deprived is as dangerous as driving drunk, you could have hurt someone!”
“I'm fine,” he answered, though he felt very guilty.
“You're fine my ass!” Danny argued standing up, “Come on. I'm taking you home.”
“No!” Steve protested, “Danny, I thought you wanted to have lunch.”
Danny looked at him for a moment before saying, “You're right I do, but not here. I want to go somewhere else.”
“Okay,” Steve agreed, pulling himself up to follow Danny.
“I'm driving!” he said firmly.
Steve didn't argue. He kept his mind busy reading roadsigns as Danny drove them to a beach across town.
It turned out the place he wanted to go was a sushi stand owned by Chin's cousin Kamekona. The spicy shrimp he forced on them burned Steve's tongue, but at least it made him a little more alert.
He regretted it, however, when his stomach was churning as they drove back to his father's house via the scenic route.
Winding up Danny was something he normally did just for fun, this time though his noise would be a good distraction. The other man firmly refused to rise to the bait, however, so Steve was forced to turn, instead, to an old acupressure trick gripping the inside of his wrist that some guys in the Navy swore by for seasickness.
He made it through the drive without puking, so he counted that as a win.
“Your dad home?” Danny asked as they walked inside.
“No,” he answered.
“Good, lets get you up to bed.”
Steve forced himself to smirk and respond, “You think I'm that easy?”
“Easy?” Danny asked, “Please! I have serious doubts about whether you're even capable at the moment!”
In truth, Steve had some doubts too, but he wasn't about to back down from that challenge. He stepped forward and hooked his fingers into one of Danny's belt loops.
“No!” Danny batted his hand away, “You need to sleep, Steven.”
“Danny,” he argued, “I know my own limits, okay? I'm fine.”
“You're fine...you're,” he gritted his teeth and paced back and forth a few times, “Alright then if you're fine lets go for a run.”
“Huh?” Steve asked.
“Lets go for a run. You don't mind if I borrow some shorts, right?” Danny said.
“No, but since when do you want to go running? I have to bug you to exercise with me every time we've gone.”
“Yeah, but if I'm to have a chance at that job at HPD I have to get back into the habit of it,” he answered.
“You're right you should,” Steve answered, “But that's not why you're doing this. You're doing this to get me to admit I'm too tired. It's not going to work.”
“Oh no?” Danny asked.
“No!”
“Well if it's no problem go get your shoes then!”
And, just like that, he had Steve snared.
They made it an entire two miles, miraculously. Danny was sure to keep their path a circle around the house, and it was a good thing because at the end of the second mile, the world blurred and the next thing Steve knew he was pawing at the sand.
Danny swore and jogged back to him.
“Danno-” He muttered, swaying unsteadily as he tried to sit up.
“It's okay, hang on,” he said as he hooked his arms under Steve's shoulders and pulled him up.
“Damn, babe,” he commented as he lead Steve back to the house.
He supported him all the way up the stairs, and, once in Steve's room, he guided him down onto the bed.
He was just pulling Steve's shoes off when he shot up violently.
“Whoa, babe, take it easy.”
“I...I gotta get up,” he tried to stand.
“No you don't. You need to lie down.”
“No, no,” Steve protested, “Can't...can't go to sleep.”
“Steve,” Danny pulled him close, “Steve come on. It's okay, I've got you.”
“Don't let me go to sleep,” Steve said, his tone so close to pleading Danny's heart broke for him.
“Okay, babe, I won't,” he said softly as he pulled Steve down so that he was resting against his shoulder.
A hundred nights of walking the floor with Grace came in handy as he lulled Steve off, rubbing his back until the moment he felt his body slump into Danny's own. He waited a moment before he laid him down, supporting his back and head just like he had Grace. It was awkward since Steve was about 20 times bigger than his infant daughter, but he managed to get him settled onto the pillow and tucked in comfortably.
After watching for a few minutes to make sure he stayed out, Danny picked up the notebook on his bedside table, flipped to the last page and began writing.
TBC...
This sucker was getting long, and this was as best a stopping point as I could find. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I hope you enjoyed.