[ooc] essay on Near and Gant's relationship
Since it’s come up a few times now in different places I thought I would just essay on it.
The History:
When they first met Near didn’t like Gant, he’s not all that fond of cops in general, and Gant was overbearing and strange. But Gant was also patient and very assertive, even over Near who is generally very much in charge of himself and his surroundings. At times Gant even went so far as to touch Near (in a non-sexual way), which he was very much against. But after he got into a lot of trouble he started accepting physical affection from Gant and a couple of other people in order to take some comfort and regain control of himself. He had failed to solve a very serious mystery and was broken down and vulnerable. Connecting to other people was something he had never tried before, and, being human, seemed to actually help. Being in a losing situation is always going to be insanely difficult for Near.
Gant was also one of the first people to show actual concern over Near’s well being, going so far as to be upset with him when he wasn’t taking care of himself. I would assume for most of his life that people just did things for him rather than urging him to do things for himself. I’m sure Near is capable of dressing and feeding himself, but he’s very sheltered with what we see in canon. He requires help coming to Japan, and isn’t afraid to ask for it. But I would think outside of that he either doesn’t bother to or doesn’t know how to. Thus having someone push that on him is going to be a big deal whether he accepts it or not.
After a while, Near became more than a little curious about Gant and started keeping tabs on him. He had a sort of ownership vibe about certain people at that point. People like Rabi, Gant and Lithuania were all filling various roles that Near needed and therefore to his mind they “belonged” to him. Gant was easily the one he thought of as owning the most because Gant interacted with him the most.
Eventually, Near became obsessed with Gant. He stalked him around for a while and was clued into his interest in Dean. Which he immediately became jealous of. HIS person wanted someone else more than him… and so after some rather difficult conversations with both Dean and Gant, Near started to actively try to act more mature. Gant told him he was too young and that he didn’t want to hurt Near which became a challenge for Near to act his age. He started avoiding some of his normal gestures and habits deliberately in an effort to show he was more mature. This was something he ACTIVELY took upon himself.
Gant has become something of a father figure for Near, he’s dominant even over someone as stubborn and difficult to dominate as Near. A lot of that is physical, but some of it comes from Gant being far more emotionally mature than Near. That and the fact that Gant is very direct with him. I don’t think it’s going out on a limb to say that this is the first time in a long time, if ever, that someone has shown so much concern over him. It’s my interpretation that he would react very strangely but acceptingly of this. Because it’s not something we ever see in canon, it is up to interpretation. Frankly, I think it would be hard for me to play a character who isn’t going to form any sort of emotional attachments to anyone, especially when they become attached to him as well. He’s also 18 and despite being a very late bloomer not an entirely oblivious to sex. Unfortunately because he trusts almost no one, that has ALSO been focused onto Gant. Gant has told him it would be better directed at someone his age, but Near doesn’t like anyone his age, and his slowly developing trust for Gant makes him an unfortunately perfect candidate.
Is Near acting differently than he would right after being taken from canon? Yes. Does he have reason to do it? Also yes. Am I going to change how I play him because of this? Possibly. I intend to tone down some of the things I have been playing up. And even that will have to be slow, for my sake because it will be difficult for me to change something about a character I play so much so often. But I see no reason to scrap this relationship with Gant all together. It happens to be one of my favorites to play out, which is probably why we play it out so much more than would be strictly necessary.
As a small side note, I understand that the age difference between these two characters can be a squick for some, in which case I'm sorry to those offended. But it's something we do address and deal with and it's not done to hurt anyone else. I might also suggest not getting too deep into our threads after this if it really does bother you, because they're going remain together in whatever relationship, romantic or otherwise, they end up having within this context.
TL;DR Gant became a bizarre pseudo-father figure to Near when he showed that he was actually concerned about Near’s health and lifestyle and Near has misplaced a great deal of physical affection into it.
If you’re still concerned, confused or outraged, please let me know. I would be more than happy to talk this out.
The History:
When they first met Near didn’t like Gant, he’s not all that fond of cops in general, and Gant was overbearing and strange. But Gant was also patient and very assertive, even over Near who is generally very much in charge of himself and his surroundings. At times Gant even went so far as to touch Near (in a non-sexual way), which he was very much against. But after he got into a lot of trouble he started accepting physical affection from Gant and a couple of other people in order to take some comfort and regain control of himself. He had failed to solve a very serious mystery and was broken down and vulnerable. Connecting to other people was something he had never tried before, and, being human, seemed to actually help. Being in a losing situation is always going to be insanely difficult for Near.
Gant was also one of the first people to show actual concern over Near’s well being, going so far as to be upset with him when he wasn’t taking care of himself. I would assume for most of his life that people just did things for him rather than urging him to do things for himself. I’m sure Near is capable of dressing and feeding himself, but he’s very sheltered with what we see in canon. He requires help coming to Japan, and isn’t afraid to ask for it. But I would think outside of that he either doesn’t bother to or doesn’t know how to. Thus having someone push that on him is going to be a big deal whether he accepts it or not.
After a while, Near became more than a little curious about Gant and started keeping tabs on him. He had a sort of ownership vibe about certain people at that point. People like Rabi, Gant and Lithuania were all filling various roles that Near needed and therefore to his mind they “belonged” to him. Gant was easily the one he thought of as owning the most because Gant interacted with him the most.
Eventually, Near became obsessed with Gant. He stalked him around for a while and was clued into his interest in Dean. Which he immediately became jealous of. HIS person wanted someone else more than him… and so after some rather difficult conversations with both Dean and Gant, Near started to actively try to act more mature. Gant told him he was too young and that he didn’t want to hurt Near which became a challenge for Near to act his age. He started avoiding some of his normal gestures and habits deliberately in an effort to show he was more mature. This was something he ACTIVELY took upon himself.
Gant has become something of a father figure for Near, he’s dominant even over someone as stubborn and difficult to dominate as Near. A lot of that is physical, but some of it comes from Gant being far more emotionally mature than Near. That and the fact that Gant is very direct with him. I don’t think it’s going out on a limb to say that this is the first time in a long time, if ever, that someone has shown so much concern over him. It’s my interpretation that he would react very strangely but acceptingly of this. Because it’s not something we ever see in canon, it is up to interpretation. Frankly, I think it would be hard for me to play a character who isn’t going to form any sort of emotional attachments to anyone, especially when they become attached to him as well. He’s also 18 and despite being a very late bloomer not an entirely oblivious to sex. Unfortunately because he trusts almost no one, that has ALSO been focused onto Gant. Gant has told him it would be better directed at someone his age, but Near doesn’t like anyone his age, and his slowly developing trust for Gant makes him an unfortunately perfect candidate.
Is Near acting differently than he would right after being taken from canon? Yes. Does he have reason to do it? Also yes. Am I going to change how I play him because of this? Possibly. I intend to tone down some of the things I have been playing up. And even that will have to be slow, for my sake because it will be difficult for me to change something about a character I play so much so often. But I see no reason to scrap this relationship with Gant all together. It happens to be one of my favorites to play out, which is probably why we play it out so much more than would be strictly necessary.
As a small side note, I understand that the age difference between these two characters can be a squick for some, in which case I'm sorry to those offended. But it's something we do address and deal with and it's not done to hurt anyone else. I might also suggest not getting too deep into our threads after this if it really does bother you, because they're going remain together in whatever relationship, romantic or otherwise, they end up having within this context.
TL;DR Gant became a bizarre pseudo-father figure to Near when he showed that he was actually concerned about Near’s health and lifestyle and Near has misplaced a great deal of physical affection into it.
If you’re still concerned, confused or outraged, please let me know. I would be more than happy to talk this out.