colour wheel
Jacob and Leah fanfiction
Rating: PG
Summary: The colour of her eyes
Hazel. Brown. Black. Jacob couldn’t put a single name to the colour he saw as he gazed into her eyes. They were forever changing, glinting into some shade new. It suited her personality to perfection, she did have a way of keeping him on his toes.
Hazel.
“Do you like it?” He asked, brushing his hands along the seam of his jeans. Nervous for some reason he couldn’t explain. It was stupid and cheap and she’d probably throw it out soon but when he walked past the store window and saw the little table globe he instantly thought it’d be a fitting birthday gift. She was meant for bigger and better things. You couldn’t keep a bird from flying away and soaring to new heights.
She looked up, meeting his look dead on. She never was one to hide away. Slowly her lips turned upwards and he saw something that he hadn’t been privy to in years, not since they were kids and Sam had made her the happiest girl in the reservation. The light shone on her face leaving a halo around her and he almost scoffed at the thought. (Leah with a halo, yeah right.) But her eyes were bright and happy and he just couldn’t look away.
---
Brown.
He was there, sitting beside her, thighs and knees pressed together as if he could anchor her to him just through touch.
“Why me?” She asked, her voice breaking slightly and she dropped her head into her hands.
He raised her head leaving his hands on either side of her face. She hadn’t gone into detail but they never had much need for words. Her pain was as tangible to him as thought she were sitting under a thundercloud. All she needed to say was clinic, test results and he’d known exactly what she was getting at.
“I’d of been a horrible mother anyway.” She said trying to lighten the moment but ending up choking back a sob instead.
He had no words of comfort. They fought and they laughed but going into deep emotional heart to hearts was never his forte. What could he say to her when everyone around him had paired up and were making plans for the future. Emily had twins and Rachel was four months along already. It just wasn’t fair. Even when he’d promised she could depend on him…he’d gone and imprinted too.
What more could he do but look into her big brown eyes, so deep and exotic as they slowly filled with moisture. It wasn’t his to give but he did it anyway, he smoothed down the hair on her cheek and rested her head on his shoulder.
Sorry wasnt even minutely close to what he felt for her at that moment. But sorry would do no good. It just wasn’t enough.
---
Black
He supposed black was his favourite. Pupils were dilated and dark even in the light of the sunrise on his front porch. They sat up against the house staring as the sky turn from blue to pink. He turned his attention from the sun to her eyes, and like the former he knew he should but he just couldn’t turn away.
She stared right back at him.
Jacob leaned his head down towards her. Leah’s eyes widened slightly but she didn’t jump away in disgust which considering Leah could have been a possibility. This was no surprise to her though, it couldn’t of been this was weeks, months, hell even years in the making, leading up to this moment. It was inevitable at this point. He was inches away when she lowered her head and chuckled softly.
“What are we doing Jake?”
“ If you need to ask me, I really cant be doing it right.” He smirked but he wasn’t quite able to mask the disappointment he felt.
“I should go.” She said, grabbing her sweater that doubled as a makeshift pillow and her shoes in the same breath. Jacob glanced back at the sun now hiding behind the clouds and decided that enough was enough. He was tired of missing out on the light.
He quickly latched onto her wrist holding her before him in strong hands.
“No…you shouldn’t.”
“This isn’t fair Jake, you shouldn’t be doing this.” He had the decency to look down at that.
“I can’t help it, God help me I’ve tried. I can’t stay away from you. I can’t stop wanting you.”
Leah’s shoulders dropped, the tense line in her body abruptly gone and she suddenly looked very tired.
“Like you cant help wanting Nessie?” She asked him but there was no anger in her voice just quiet resignation.
“I never wanted this. I never wanted to be trapped into something I had no say in. When I’m away from her, I feel a pull deep in my gut, it screams that something is wrong and I need to go back. But its not because I want to be there its because its like there’s no other option than to be there.” He paused moving his hands up her wrist to grasp long fingers. “When I’m away from you, I feel something else, I feel this emptiness, this pull that tells me I should be around you, I need to come back to you, teasing you, comforting you. Me and you, we work because of us. Not because there’s some kind of mojo forcing us to work.”
Leah chewed on her upper lip and pulled her fingers away leaving them with a slight caress.
“We let this get to far Jacob, we knew what was happening and we just let it. I know you care about me.” She said looking at him with a soft smile, “ But I know that you won’t be happy unless you’re here and I can’t do this anymore, I can’t play the fill in until Renesme grows into the a beautiful Bella look alike.”
Jacob didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t tell her that it would never happen because when he was around Renesme and Bella it felt like he had no control whatsoever, it was almost like an out of body experience. But he knew one thing - he didn’t want it.
“That’s not what you are to me,” he stared hard “you’ve gotta know you mean more than that to me.”
“But it doesn’t really matter thought, does it?” She said, slowly backing away from him.
Jacob could feel the familiar pang in his stomach, the hollowness that he hated,
“Come with me then, pack a bag and lets just go.” He blurted.
Leah’s mouth opened and closed releasing no sound.
“You want to travel the world, you always have, so lets just leave here. I need to leave here.
Will you help me?”
He was in her personal space, breathing her air and warming her skin. He had her caged between his arms with her back against the wall of the house. Jacobs head had effortlessly found its way to the crook of her neck, breathing in the smell of the forest and something so undeniably her.
He rested his forehead against hers looked into her open eyes, he could feel her heartbeat racing beneath his fingers and her eyes had darkened, back to the shade he loved.
He wanted to see them all. He wanted them engrained in his memory so he could map out every emotion she needed to share.
She let out a deep sigh shaking her head. “There’s a good chance I’m gonna regret this but lets go.” She smirked “I choose where though we will NOT be staying at some sleezy motel.”
Hazel, brown and black, he’d learn them all eventually and he couldn’t wait.
.