(no subject)
I've been in a really bad mood lately, and frankly i don't know what the main cause of it is. Which pisses me off even more.
My boyfriend's getting on my nerves worse and worse, to the point i'm ready to just kick his ass out of my house and tell him to beg his way back to St.Pete so he can continue to get stoned off his ass and i could happily forget that he exists. My hunting for jobs is completely useless, i'm having no luck finding any, aside from a shitty little shoe store that if hired, i'm sure i'd lose my sanity from the complete and utter stupidity that the employees emitted when i walked in for 5 seconds to grab an application.
I'm out of school, out of money, and if i don't find a job soon, i'll be out of a home. (which this all combined, is what i BELIEVE to be the root of my depression, thus causing me to become a bitch that can't be lived with. Hell, i'd punch someone like me in the face just because they're being a complete fucktard.)
My friends IRL are completely useless, i've been trying to get them to my apartment while i have so i'd atleast cheer up slightly, but it's no avail. they all cancel last second, pushing my mood further into the abyss.
I'm seriously on my wits end here, and if something doesn't change, i'm going to murder the boyfriend, my roommates, or i'll just go out in a blaze of fire and pray someone i'm currently at ends with goes down with me. No, i'm not seriously considering suicide, but i don't know what i'd do in this situation, i've never been this stressed and down before, so anything could be possible.
I'm sure i'll bitch more, but atleast i feel slightly better now.