(no subject)
I can't believe it took me so long to come to the realization, but i've been putting up with something, well. rather, a part of the whole that i should have noticed sooner, rather than when i did.
My relationship has only been keeping me where i am because i've had some small hope things would be different after talking, the entire year i've been with him, i've believed that even though the first talk didn't yeild the wanted results, maybe the second, or third, or fourth would.
I see now that i'm a fool. People don't change their habits or way of doing things for other people, i was the stupid one, for thinking that someone would change because i asked politely.
TMI MOMENT, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
the entire year of dating brett, has had it's ups and downs, and while sex shouldn't dictate wether a relationship thrives or dies, it does play it's role. when the whole year is one person blowing and being fucked, while said person doesn't get blown, touched, or anything else. things tend to falter.
Relationships are a two way street, and i've been causing myself to actually see one road, as two.
yes, he cooks, and pays rent..but that shouldn't excuse one from fulfilling pleasure to his partner, when said partner is always pleasuring the other.
He's a sweet...er...
He's...
He's...a decent guy, can be sweet at times, but mostly he doesn't seem to want to be in a relationship, there's no romance. yes, he's not a romantic person. but still, the only time any form of cuddling happens is when it's bed time. i try to lay on him, i constantly get the "i'm uncomfortable"
...i love him, i honestly do...
but i just don't see how this relationship can go on, without me cheating on him massively...
i've talked about this sexual problem several times, he's always said he'll do it, but then it's for like..3 seconds.
i'm at my witts end, i want to stay with him, because i love him with all my heart
but i can't take this one sided shit anymore.